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Kris Carr

Emotional Health

How to Beat the Holiday Blues & Be Grateful

Hiya Gorgeous!

The holiday season is upon us and with it comes lots of big emotions. 

While many are eagerly awaiting the chance to sip a hot pumpkin spice latte and adorn their homes in fun and fancy decor, “Tis’ the season” can cause some heavy feels to come bubbling to the surface, too. 

Holiday blues can twist even Cindy-Lou Who’s fa la la la las into a big FU. If this season is a struggle, you’re not alone. And no, it doesn’t make you a grinch. 

  • You may be separated from or have lost someone you love, and the thought of going through what’s previously been a bright time, feels off… 
  • Or maybe you don’t have a history of happy holidays, and this just feels like another dreadful cycle to bear… 
  • Maybe the pressure of having to have it all together, to present your best for others makes you want to hold your breath until you burst…

If the holidays make you feel scattered, uncomfortable, sad, cranky, or ___ (you fill in the blank)—not only are you not alone, but you need to feel your feelings. And with this video, I’m giving you a simple success mindset practice I’ve used again and again, that even surprised me the first time when it turned my grumpies into gratitude.

An Attitude Turned to Gratitude

Read the transcript here…

Kris: So back in my acting days, I had a teacher. Her name was Diane Ainsley, and she was absolutely wonderful. And she would make us to an exercise before class or before we started a scene where she would make us do something called “Calling Conditions.” Calling Conditions. And you would do this to get your instrument ready, to feel ready to tap into your emotions. And you would get up in front of the class and you would just say, tired, stressed, annoyed, hopeful, peaceful, happy, sexy, sassy, cranky… Whatever was coming to mind, but it was one word. It was just one word, and you were just getting your system warmed up and warm and maybe even getting some stuff out of your system so that your instrument as an actor was ready to go. Because that’s what you have, you have your emotions as an actor. You’re becoming people, you’re embodying other people’s emotions, so you need to be in touch with your own. And so the other day during the “How Are You Feeling?” section, I was like, I don’t feel like writing full on sentences, so I started to call conditions. I was having a tough day. So I’m going to read to you some of the things that I wrote: Tired, less resilient, scattered, sizzled, resentful, blaming, frustrated, bored, negative, annoyed. Over it. Alone. Unsafe. Uncertain. Untrusting. Skeptical. That’s how I was feeling that day.

But what’s interesting is once I got this out of my system, it was like my instrument was ready to go. And the next question was, “List Three Things You’re Grateful For.” Oh! It turned it around! And then intention, and then affirmation. All of a sudden, all those emotions, they’re in the rearview and I’m ready to go to get back into my success mindset. So I’m just sharing some things from my own life, in my own practice, in the hopes that it helps you.

So I’m going to sing for you right now. And I’m not a great singer, but here we go. “Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.” That is what this Success Mindset is all about, is getting to know yourself, getting to know all about you. Because you when you create that deeper relationship with yourself, you become more resilient. But this is something else that’s so, so important that we tap into right here. It helps you create deeper emotional fluency and honesty and transparency with yourself, right? So when you can be honest and clear with yourself about what’s going on, you are then better able to be honest and clear with other folks about what’s going on for you and what you need. And you’re going to say it in a way that’s healthier. You’re going to say it in a way that’s open hearted and vulnerable and real and truthful. And you’ll probably inspire somebody else to speak that way, too. Right? To really stand in their own truth, in their own power. When you are able to become more emotionally fluent with yourself first and foremost, and then with others. And when you are with others, you’ll likely sing in a way where it lands as opposed to it comes out in ways you didn’t necessarily mean, and you overreacted or you’re mean, or whatever these things happen. So I think that’s one of the other powerful byproducts of this simple Success Mindset practice.

You’re truthful with yourself and then able to speak your truth and ask for what you need with others in a way that lands.

A few big takeaways:

•  Feelings need to be acknowledged.

Feeling “some kind of way” or worse yet, stuffing your issues in your tissues doesn’t help anyone (expecially you!). Instead of ignoring lingering feels, try naming them. When you name it, you acknowledge it.

•  All feelings are friendly and true to you.

And as you name your feelings, you unveil opportunities to have a clearer, truer insight to yourself.

•  You can’t move forward if you’re stuck.

When you are understood, you feel affirmed. And when you understand how you feel, you affirm your feelings, and that affirmation opens you up to experience other feelings (like gratitude!).

•  Getting to know you, better equips you to communicate yourself to others. 

Your feelings are a beautiful part of you, my dear, and every part of you is worth affirming. As you go into this holiday season, give yourself permission to speak your feelings. Yes, affirm yourself by speaking your feelings! You’ll thank yourself—and poof! Attitude turned to gratitude.

Now it’s your turn. What tips do you have when your heart feels two sizes too small? Let’s extend a helping hand by sharing our holiday mindset tips in the comments below.

Grateful for you,

Add a comment
  1. Doug Chell says:

    Thanks u are so encouraging and beautiful
    Doug,

  2. OMG, I studied with Diaan too. From 1993-6. I totally remember that exercise.

  3. Kristin says:

    Love this 🙂 thank you!

  4. Cherie says:

    I lost my 44 year old son this year and it feels like my heart is breaking all the time. I cry at least five or six times a day. I’m finding the journal I started with him in mind is an effective way to channel feelings, communicate with him and release the anxiety I’m feeling.

  5. Annette says:

    I like when you stated that you could turn negative emotions around by being thankful.. I have experienced the same. When I am sick and feeling lousy, I tell Jesus things I am thankful for: His Spirit, His love, His salvation and other things like my soft bed, my favorite meal, my cute dog, and birds that come to my feeder and sing , especially I thank Him for the sunshine. Everyday is a thanksgiving day.

  6. Phyllis Beckham says:

    Thanks so much! What a wonderful way to get “unstuck”!

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