Kris Carr

Blog Post

The Power of Unconditional Acceptance

Hi Friend,

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a movie star, a fancy photographer, a pilot. I wanted to dance on Broadway (I did). I wanted my film, Crazy Sexy Cancer, to win an Emmy (it didn’t). I’ve wanted a lot of things. Some stuff I got, others I didn’t.

Like many folks, I’ve had multiple careers, five to be exact. Then, I settled into writing and chatting with you. To be honest, I like this career the best. Why? Because it challenges me to be real, authentic and vulnerable. Those squishy qualities can be hard to share, especially publicly. After all, everyone wants to be liked. But as I approach ten years of living Crazy Sexy style and yet another book launch, what I know in my bones is this: The more I accept who I truly am, the more I shine like a diamond. This is true for you too.

Chew on this concept with me:

It’s OK to accept myself unconditionally.

Here’s your affirmation:

I love and accept myself exactly the way I am.

It hurts my heart to reflect back on the multiple times in my life when I felt like I wasn’t “good enough.” I was so very hard on myself. I felt like I had to jump through hoops to be loved and appreciated. Rarely was I at peace with my efforts. I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached hundreds of women who have felt the same. Funny, the few dudes who were brave enough to share their shizzle with me didn’t have these issues. But that’s another topic for another time. Our girls clearly need healthier messages.

If I could wave a magic wand and globally undo the blinding, binding words, “not good enough,” I would. But to be honest, that’s not my job. It’s yours to do it for yourself. But guess what? It’s simpler than you think.

For quite sometime now, I’ve been working on accepting myself completely. All of me. My brilliance, my so-called weaknesses, even my morning breath and most importantly, my dozens of incurable tumors. Now some might say, “But if you accept your disease (or your fill-in-the-blank), isn’t that like admitting failure?” Nope-sy. Unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean that we give up or wave the white flag, that’s quitting. Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are.

Being at peace with what is creates a vast and holy space for healing.

Remember, stress bleeds all life force. Accepting and honoring every ounce of Kris allows me to rest and renew. From that relaxed and receptive space, we gain the clarity and strength needed to create a blueprint for a happy, healthy life.

Let go.

Fall in love.


When we accept ourselves exactly as we are, in exactly this moment, we shift from living for tomorrow to appreciating today. Acceptance heals. Rejection harms. Nurture and nourish yourself. Here’s how.

  • Develop a connection to spirit
  • Allow for quiet time (shhh)
  • Forgive (yourself and that jerk)
  • Welcome (and tend to) loving relationships
  • Release unloving relationships (buh-bye emotional vampires)
  • Lay in the sun
  • Move your glorious body
  • Eat plants (chomp, chomp, yum)
  • Breathe deeply often
  • Smile
  • Repeat

Each time I release a book into the world, I worry. Is it good enough? And then, I remember. Acceptance. I replace my fear with my affirmation. I love and accept myself exactly the way I am (and I love and accept this fabulous creation exactly the way it is!). From that place, I can be present and soak in moments like the one I had while reading the latest issue of VegNews Magazine. Crazy Sexy Kitchen received its first rave review. Thank you, VegNews! They gushed all over the cookbook.

“With Crazy Sexy Kitchen, Carr is arming readers with a laundry list of delicious recipes…If ever there was a vegan chef fantasy team this would be it … Reading the book already feels like you are at the party with Carr and her compassionate cohorts … It’s fun, it’s edgy … Carr, Sarno, and friends have created a lasting tome that’s sure to persuade the palates of innumerable people.”

If you’re like me, you may get squeamish around compliments. You shrug them off or deflect them back to the compliment giver. “No, YOU are great. No, YOU are more great.” However, when we practice unconditional acceptance, we challenge ourselves to say two very powerful words.

“Thank you.”

As my dear friend Cheryl Richardson reminded me on the phone recently, “Life loves you, Kris.” Thank you, Cheryl.

Dear readers, life loves you too. Exactly the way you are. Today. Breathe it in. Ole!

Your turn: What would be possible if you gave yourself the same unconditional acceptance that you give to others?

Peace & acceptance,

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  1. Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you, Kris 🙂

  2. Susan says:

    Love this. It’s not an easy thing to do especially for women but so necessary. Nice reminder….:)

  3. candace says:

    So beautiful. I exhaled when I read it. Tired of beating myself up so I might try acceptance…hating me is just too exhausting! Thank you Kris!

  4. I’ve been following your work and reading your newsletters for some time now, and this piece resonated deeply. I too am walking a sacred journey through cancer, which I’ve come to understand as a fierce teacher. Yes to forgiveness and unconditional love! We heal for ourselves, and for the world I think. I wrote a post about my own experience learning to accept myself completely after my cancer surgeries in 2010. I’m still learning. And loving.

    Thank you for shining so brightly. All my best, Shira

  5. Jo says:

    PERFECT… As always, thank you Kris. I am enough…. xoxo

  6. Thank you Kris 🙂
    My mantra is, I love myself always in all ways.
    I practice this most days and when those judgmental crunchy statements pop up, I say it again.
    Loving your message today.

  7. Alana says:

    Wonderful to read this. I just started greens powder five days ago. I have green smoothies on the way. I’m coming aboard!

  8. Shantini says:

    Thank you Kris – a client of mine was kind of mean today and your article SO helped me 🙂 Big hug!

  9. Diana says:

    This is great! I am 51 and want to do something I love as working for others just does not seem to work for me. My love and passion is jewelry but, I never have funds to take classes. I seem to beat myself up all the time. (not healthy)

    I also think it would be great to meet Kris some day and pick her brain on all the wonderful things she does. Maybe she will offer a contest on how some one can win a chance to meet her. hint, hint.

    Diana in Maine

  10. kelly says:

    Kris, Thank you! You are great, really you are! Exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it!

  11. Thank you Kris. Just what I needed to hear today. Really struggling with letting go of toxic beliefs and toxic habits. I live with chronic pain. On days when I can practice being more accepting, spending time in meditation, and just be me the pain takes a back seat to all of the joy that is felt when my light shines.

  12. Erin says:

    I struggle with putting too much on my plate because I think it’s the ME I should be (and the things I should be doing). I’ve been working on shedding some of the responsibilities and parts of my life that are not ME. This post is a great reminder of that. 🙂 Thanks Kris!

  13. Rebecca says:

    YES! This is amazing, Kris <3 I've recently been trying to practise self-acceptance too. It's not always easy. Through mindfulness and self-awareness, I've slowly uncovered some pretty deep-seated issues that have been holding me back for a long time. I've kind of always known they were there, but preferred to bury my head in the sand or run in the opposite direction rather than face them head on. Now I finally feel so much more ready to be me, truly and fully, and to do the things I'm burning to do with my life.

    I love your tips for self-nourishment. I've found simply sitting in stillness and focusing on my breath to be really powerful. Also, journalling; it's crazy what you discover when you just let the words flow from your fingers!

    I'd also add yoga to my little list. I just got done with a loooooong yoga session and I'm tingling from the inside out! I feel open and ALIVE.

    I know I've got some work to do before I accept myself fully (alright, maybe A LOT of work… 🙂 ). But I'd much rather do it now than have the feeling of regret and heartache that you described when I look back later in my life.

  14. Tiffany says:

    Thank you Kris,
    This couldn’t have come at a better time…
    Thank you for your encouraging words and sharing your vulnerability…
    I will start with that mantra today and keep trying keep it going…

  15. Lauren Pryor says:

    Thank you so much Kris!!! I am on a healing journey myself and this is exactly what I needed to hear today!! You are awesome!

  16. Hi Kris,

    This is a great post.

    I did an energy massage on the weekend and found a key blockage to my healing. I realized my own sense of self is around not feeling stupid. When I was seven years old, I was provided with the gift of assisted learning however I have always viewed it as the “special class”. That internal label has followed me throughout my amazing career and has pushed me to prove I am not stupid. I realized only after my energy massage that my “label” stops me from healing and I need to love my learning disability which has inspired me to share complex ideas in a simple format.

    Your post today provided the last bit of the acceptance journey I need to embrace. As it write this the tears of release are flowing.

    Today I embrace my learning challenges and forgive myself for not accepting them – they are the key to my future to help people to learn about wellness in a visual and auditory environment.

    Thanks Kris.


  17. Marty says:

    I’m a man (dude) and for most of my life I believed god gave me a cool brain and an awkward body. (I’ve always been shorter than most, a bit wide and now blad with a few wrinkles) This article made me realize that I’ve spent nearly 50 years only loving half of me. But why shouldn’t I love all of me? my wife and kids do, my parents do, my brothers do.

    Thanks for the unconditional inspiration and thanks for always sending those delicious ideas to my inbox. Chris you are the monkey’s eyebrow. (monkeys have amazing eyebrows…right?)

  18. Eva Stephen says:

    Your picture looks fantastic, and I love the affirmation, I will use it.

  19. Daz says:

    I absolutely love this Kris and you’re SO right! I used to do a lot of archery, I used to be British champion, and even then, if someone said how good I was I’d always feel quite awkward and have the “I supposed I’m ok” type of answer until one day I thought “hold on, I AM good, I’ve worked hard to get here and I should be proud of myself” and since then, I’ve accepted compliments much better until recently where I’ve been slipping into the old “I’m not good enough” thoughts with my mediumship and connection with spirit. I have others telling me I’m good but I never feel that about myself which is totally silly and it’s articles like yours which snap me back into the right way of thinking and knowing that yes, I’m a nice guy, I’m worth some praise now and again and yes, I AM special and loved, just a shame that’s gets forgotten sometimes.

    And so are you Kris! You’re such an inspiration and your happiness and energy are completely infectious. I’m so so happy to have seen you in the Hungry For Change movie and from there found this place.

    Thank you thank you thank you for being the wonderful person you are.

    Now, hurry the release of Crazy Sexy Kitchen here in the UK, still got another month to wait until mine comes 🙁 LOL

    Much love, hugs and happiness to you lovely.

    Daz X

  20. kat says:

    Lovely. I read this with the gratitude I feel for accepting a situation with another the way it is right now and with that I feel free. It’s bloomin’ wonderful! Thanks for reaffirming xx

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