Kris Carr

Emotional Health

How to Love Yourself and Trust Your Intuition

Hiya Gorgeous!

Today’s blog is about learning how to love yourself by listening to and trusting your inner wisdom. If the sound of that has you a little freaked, stick around! This topic is close to my heart, so I’m gonna share some pretty personal stuff. I hope that doing so reminds you not only that we’re in this together, but that healing your relationship with yourself is absolutely possible.

Let’s start with a personal story…

I was an unhealthy serial dieter for most of my life. Disordered eating was my norm. Binging, purging, counting calories and struggling… I was caught in a never-ending cycle that I didn’t even know I needed to rescue myself from.

As an actress and dancer, it felt like it was my job to be thin. I dieted not because it was what I wanted or needed, but because I thought I was supposed to. I valued my worth by how small I was.

Can you relate? I’ve heard countless stories from folks in this community who’ve been caught in that same cycle. Rather than loving ourselves as we are, we let a barrage of external messages about how to eat (…think, work, vote, love, etc.) determine our behavior. This makes it hard for our intuition to take the wheel and tell us what would actually make us happy and healthy.

If this is resonating with you, here’s some great news…

You can learn to question and reject the harmful messages that keep you disconnected from yourself and start listening to your intuition instead. And when you do that, it’s easier to let go of self-destructive habits and replace them with practices rooted in radical self-love. Trust me when I say, you are worthy of that.

And I have more good news! This mindset shift isn’t as hard to make as you might think. Yes, it takes time and patience. But our bodies and minds are very forgiving—they’re ready to heal and welcome us back home to ourselves.

Learning How to Love Yourself and Trust Your Intuition

My journey back home to myself started with my cancer diagnosis. Suddenly, it was abundantly clear that listening to everyone but myself wasn’t working. I’m not saying that diets and certain lifestyle choices caused my cancer. But I realized how out of touch I was with what my body needed. I was locked into what society, work and my own self-judgement expected of me, which made it impossible to hear my intuition crying out for help.

So I slowly let my body and inner wisdom take over. I started listening to myself. Hearing what my symptoms were telling me. Honoring that little voice that was guiding me to a healthier path. Once I started focusing on loving myself (and my tumors) just as I was, everything changed. I stopped obsessing about everything I put in my mouth and focused on eating real, whole foods. I became a lot more gentle and caring with myself. And I started to feel better. Over time, this practice helped me to not only transform my relationship with food, it also taught me how to be a dear friend to myself—nothing is more healing than that.

It didn’t happen overnight and I still struggle with negative thoughts about myself sometimes. But that’s normal! Part of learning how to love yourself is accepting that you won’t be positive (or compassionate) all the time. The trick is to consistently minimize the negativity you let in and prioritize being kind to yourself over beating yourself up.

The following practices helped me tap into my intuition and let self-love lead the way. I still use them to get centered when I’m out of alignment and I hope they help you do the same! And just so we’re clear, this isn’t only about what we eat. It’s about letting our inner wisdom shine through and guide everything we do.

Take a vacation from the noise.

It can be really confusing to get hit with messages that conflict with what your intuition is saying. And during this phase of finding your way home to yourself, you might be especially vulnerable to that kind of influence. So, at least for now, just give yourself a break.

This will mean something different to everyone. Say, for example, you’re making a big decision about whether or not to take a new job. You might have a friend who has a strong opinion on the matter and wants to hash it out with you. It’s ok to ask them to talk about something else (get my tips for gently ending convos here!). Let them know that you love them and value their opinion, but you’re figuring this one out on your own.

And whether we realize it or not, many of us receive negative, anxiety-inducing messages via technology. I encourage you to schedule tech-free time to connect with yourself. Also, unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. They affect your subconscious more than you think and when you’re trying to reconnect with your own innate wisdom, Instagram can wait!

Psst… Want support as you reconnect with yourself and let your body take the lead? My Inner Circle Wellness community is a loving space where you can get the help you need to cultivate sustainable health.

Listen without judgement.

As your world gets a little quieter and you give yourself space to listen to your intuition, you might be surprised how much it has to say. Do your best to listen without judgement. Write in your Results Journal, meditate, be still and allow whatever comes up to have a voice.

Listening takes practice and it can be uncomfortable at first. But when you do, you’ll notice that decisions get easier and negative thoughts don’t take hold as often. You’ll be able to flow with life and feel more connected with the world around you. And best of all—your powerful inner wisdom will show you exactly how to love yourself.

Because the truth is, if you’re really listening, you will never, ever catch your intuition trying to bring you down or hold you back. It just doesn’t work that way!

Seek balance.

Once you’re in the habit of listening to yourself, outside messages don’t have as much power—unless your gut actively tells you to take note.

So when you’re ready (then and only then!), go ahead and open yourself back up. But don’t let it be a free-for-all. Try to keep it as loving and positive as possible. The key is to find a balance between the external and internal messages. Let others inform you, not tell you what to do.

I’ll give you an example. As you probably know, I’m vegan and openly share the many benefits of this lifestyle. Everything I share is carefully researched and I always get input from our expert dietitians. You can trust me, but that still doesn’t always mean you should do exactly as I do!

My intention isn’t to make more vegans, it’s to help folks eat more produce. If the information I teach plays a role in your healing as it has for thousands of people around the world, that’s absolutely wonderful. But only you know what’s best for you. Go with your gut above all else.

You can always find your way home.

They say home is where the heart is, but I say it’s wherever YOU are. This safe, loving place is always available to you. The more you cultivate it, the easier it is to access. My prayer for your New Year is that you spend more time listening to yourself and less time depriving yourself from the love, nourishment and encouragement you need to thrive.

Thank you for being here, wise one… I love you!

Your turn: Let your intuition speak. What does it say? Honor your inner wisdom by sharing whatever comes up in the comments below.

Peace & coming home,

Add a comment
  1. Daniela says:

    Dear Kris,
    with regards to intuition: Like many others, I had a tough time during the last months (which is ok – many others have had an even worse time). But today … on of those days … Following my INTUITION I took your wonderful card set and drew 3 cards (yes, 3!! – I deserve that ;- )))
    1. listen to your body
    2. something bigger is on the way
    3. Risk it …
    ♥️♥️♥️ What shall I say? Could it be any “better”? THANK YOU for everything you are doing … You made my day …
    Warmest regards from Switzerland and all the best for you – for all of us,
    Daniela (right now in quarantine)

  2. Debbie says:

    Here’s my dilemma – I have a fulfilling job and make good money. However, I work for a person who is, in my humble opinion, old school male (74 years old) and thinks women should be soft to get results. He doesn’t truly respect me. He has a temper when challenged with new or different ideas than his. He actually said to me the other day when I was mentioning the inadequacies between women and men in the workplace…”you need to stop with this women shit.” I’m not married so there’s no “backup” money or support. I am close to retirement so I don’t believe it would be easy to find another job. I want to leave and everything on the inside is telling me to leave, but I cannot jeopardize my future by leaving a good paying job and not having enough money to get me through my retirement. Does anyone have any suggestions?

  3. Sandra says:

    Kris, you are the best encourager. When something resonates I write it down and put it with the affirmations that I love to read. I call it feeding my spirit. Thanks for all you do. Hope you have a blessed and prosperous 2020 and beyond.

  4. Ashley says:

    SLOW DOWN…it’s been talking to me all December and I’m finally listening and it feels like fresh air.

  5. Ashley Fisher says:

    Kris, this is my new favorite post of yours! I love the concept of intuition as the guide to self love. It takes the mental effort out and means that self love is at our fingertips in each moment. Beautiful. Thank you. ??♥️

    • Jennifer says:

      Hey Ashley! This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy and I just wanted to thank you for your comments! It’s great having you here. 🙂

  6. Rachel says:

    Since I’ve had my promotion I’ve been ignoring all the massive, not-very-subtle hints from my body that I’m requiring to turn up the heat on my self care; disrupted or not sleeping, sugar cravings, weight gain, irritability, lack of energy. It’s like my time at home is purely recovery time before going back to work. I love my job, but that s*** ain’t right! This has been a very timely read Ms Carr, thank you xxxx

  7. Camille says:

    You are amazing. I always feel relaxed after reading your Emails. Thank you for the time and energy you put in to sharing your loving spirit with us. You rock!

    • Jennifer says:

      That means the world to all of us on the Crazy Sexy team, Camille! Thank you so much, we’re happy you’re here with us. Xo

  8. Stephanie says:

    Just wondering–is this the same 5 day course that was offered around September–pre IWC? Thanks 🙂

    • Jennifer says:

      Hey Stephanie! This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy. Great question! This is a different challenge so we hope you sign up. 🙂

  9. Galit says:

    I’m really touched by Kris’s post. I feel as if I know I need to listen to my body, but my thoughts keep steering me in so many other directions! Food is a sensitive subject for me, as well. Having grown up around lots and lots of junk food it’s hard to give it up. I go through periods of healthy eating but when I’m not in my center, and when I don’t prioritize my time around me, junk is the crutch. But, yes, it’s a process. Important not to be hard on myself ???

    • kris says:

      Galit, you are so right, it’s a process… Please don’t be hard on yourself, sweetheart, that won’t get you far. I’m such a fan of “progress, not perfection” since no one is perfect. I’m so glad you’re going to listen to your beautiful body. Xo.

  10. Teri says:

    During my morning, today, writing in my results journal I realized that I tend to give up if I don’t do something perfectly. I had no idea that I was a perfectionist. NONE. Writing down my thoughts and tracking my healthy practices, I had an ah-ha moment today. Then I read this post by Miss Kris and I was blown away at the message. It resonated with me today and rather than stay mad at myself or just say forget it, I looked at what caused me to stray from what I wanted to do and made a plan to change that! So exhilarating! Kris Carr, thank you so much for your gentleness and your insightful and loving spirit that touches so many whom you’ve never met in person! One of my big sky goals is to meet you at your place and play with your fur babies one day!

  11. Robin Riley says:

    Vacation from the noise! I love this? I do find myself doing this periodically (more so in the summertime when I let Momma Nature take over!). I am trying to do it more this Winter tho! Allowing more me time isn’t hard but yet it hasn’t been always comforting. I am slowly finding and appreciating that time now. I am looking forward to writing in my Results journal starting in January???

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