Every time I’ve moved, started a new job, implemented a new wellness strategy, or ended a relationship, it was because I was ready for more. I’d learned what I needed for my soul growth, and it was time for the next lesson. Life had a bigger vision for me. Quite simply, I was ready to uplevel.
If your current situation feels stale or no longer fulfilling, it may be a sign that life has a bigger vision for you too. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be hard. Sometimes, no matter how glorious or how necessary the uplevel is, we hesitate. The question is how to change?
Making friends with uncertainty.
Maybe you’ve been feeling itchy for a while. Perhaps you’ve fantasized about new opportunities but wanted more certainty before risking it. I mean, what if you change your current habits or situation and life actually gets worse? How do you know you won’t be making a huge mistake?
Well, my friends, sometimes it does get worse before it gets so much better. For example, when you improve your diet, there’s a really good chance you’ll have some detox symptoms. They’ll suck, ‘tis true. But once you’re on the other side of them, you’ll be shocked at how amazing you feel.
And get this—no matter what happens, every action we take teaches us more about ourselves. That is the essence of the awakened path and it’s how we become more of who we truly are. Even a step backward can catapult us forward, as long as we’re conscious and intentional about it.
Growing pains are inevitable, mistakes are necessary, and certainty, no matter how much planning we do, is impossible. And that’s what makes life so creative, educational and very much alive.
Cue some trusty Oprah wisdom: “There is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.” Cheers!
Know when it’s time to change.
So how do we decide if it’s time to try something new? Necessary life shifts often come with aches, pains and trackable symptoms. For example, what used to feel good or help you unwind now feels like a bad habit. What inspired or challenged you now feels tiresome.
Behaviors that got you by are no longer working. Your head says, “stay put” but your heart says, “move on.” And I can really relate to this one, your curiosity and browsing history have taken a new, alluring direction.
If this sounds like you, then whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re already starting to change. Yup, it’s happening. The train is leaving the station and in subtle ways your consciousness is pushing you to grow.
The trick is to accept that change before staying the same becomes unbearable. Change before the relationship becomes toxic, before your eating habits ruin your health, before you get fired from your terrible job. Don’t wait until you’re up against the ropes. Resist change too long and you’ll find that your options are limited.
Instead, we want to tap into our intuition sooner. As soon as you notice that discomfort or dissatisfaction, pop open your inner compass. Get honest with yourself: “I’m not feeling this anymore. I think I’m being invited to uplevel. And I’m willing to take a leap.”
Have a strategy.
Change is scary, no matter what it is. One way that you can take back some control and give yourself a little bit of solid ground to stand on, is to have a change strategy.
Certainty is not possible, but there are things we can do to alleviate the worst of our fears. Knowing yourself is the most important thing here. Everyone reacts to change differently. Some embrace change, while others, like me, just want to crawl in a hole, eat cookies, and pretend it’s not happening.
Armed with self-knowledge, you can develop the strategies that work for you. But, here are a few examples of what you can do to help yourself during a time of change:
Get quiet. Change can bring with it a lot of noise and distraction. Take time for yourself, to meditate or walk in the woods or just sit and think. Tune into your inner voice so your intuition can lead you.
Know your strengths. Self-doubt is crippling, I know. So I like to journal lists of my strengths, experiences, contacts—all the things that tell me I’m ready for this change. Then, when negative thoughts creep in, I tell them how prepared I really am.
Get Support. Sometimes when you’re stretching and growing it helps to reach out to those who have walked your path. Find someone who has started a new business or moved across the country—whatever it is you feel life is calling you to do. Give them a call or invite them to coffee. Pick their brain and enlist their support.
That’s the whole reason I started my Thrive Mastermind and Thrive Bootcamp. Running your own wellness business can feel overwhelming. It’s way more fun to be on this journey with great friends beside you and experts to guide you. Whatever mountain you’re feeling called to climb, find a community to join. Look for one that creates a safe space for sharing successes, brainstorming ideas, and conquering challenges. You don’t have to go it alone.
Well said, Friend!
This is so apt for me right now….. thank you, the message came at exactly the right time….
We didn’t come here to struggle and to suffer.We came here to love.
Love & Joy!
Kris, I recently had the delightful experience of listening to your interview on HHWS 2017. You are pure awesomeness, my girl! Well, as life would have it I decided, “This is it. I am changing things up. Fear be damned” I have committed to changing what goes in my body and will start a new job in two weeks. (hoping I haven’t made a mistake…can you feel me shaking in my boots?!?!) Deep breath. Also, I am 61, I believe my body is asking for change, so that I can navigate these next decades with grace, health and well-being. And even though I dont know exactly what to do to make myself feel better, I will implement what I do know and trust the info will come as I commit. Thank you for your joyful nudges! ?
Wow, Kris, this is exactly what’s happening for me right now. I am 6 months post-treatmenr for breast cancer and I have been feeling that itch, that need to evolve. Often during my treatment journey I received many signs from the universe that my pre-cancer life was not for me, ie, my career, certain friends, even certain family members, and more importantly, old lifestyle and behavior patterns no longer serve the new me. As I grow into the me I was always meant to be, yes, the fear is there, but without it, I wouldn’t know that I’m alive. The space between no longer and not yet is undeniably scary but I’m getting comfortable with it and learning to fully embrace the new me. Before I got sick, I had fear but it was different, it held me back from growing and nourishing my own soul. My energy was overextended in many aspects of my life. Cancer, as dusgusting and traumatic as it has been for me, opened my eyes to myself and my needs. My grandmother always said “Know who you are.” I feel blessed to be on this journey, a transformed young woman who may finally know who she is. Thank you for your beautiful words of wisdom, as always. Your books have been by my side every step of the way. When I saw the job posting, I immediately applied because I took it as a sign from the universe. I continue to transform my fear into courage and to trust my instincts. Thank you for letting me share a little bit of my story on this journey. xoxo
You’re a rock star! xo kris
Thank you for being real Kris. I really needed this message today ?
Thank you so much! This post could not have come at a better time in my life!! I was just the encouragement comfort and reassurance I needed as if you knew me personally for years.
Oh gosh! This was perfect timing! Thanks! As I’m sitting here, I’m surrounded by moving boxes, haha! We are planning on listing our home to sell in a week or so. We intend to move to our college town, to be closer to hubby’s job. It’s exciting, but scary at the same time. I noticed that push back effect from others when I switched from being pescatarian to being vegan a year ago, so with moving, I kept things secret mostly because I like to protect my new things! I also had push back when I decided that being an author and coach wasn’t contributing to my health or happiness and I closed my biz end of 2015, a year when I went to 6 funerals, including my mom’s. Change is all there is and that is why I love being in nature so much! Nature is a great teacher for that. I relate quite a bit to the detox symptoms bit. I’ve always focused my diet on whole foods, but I’ve been cleansing in various ways over the past 3-4 years as I’ve given up caffeine, alcohol, animals products, corn, etc. I never ever “cheat” any more eating things that wreck me as celiac. These days, I’m not cooking with oil and getting my fats through avocados, seeds, nuts, etc. I decided to just roll with all the changes, since like the old Zen proverb…you can hang on or be dragged, haha! Love to all going through changes.
Hi Kris. The right words at the right time. I am struggling with the letting go of a relationship and your post gives voice to my feelings. Thank you.
Sending you loads of love Margaret. Xo kris
Thank you so much for your post. As others have already said, this comes at a perfect time for me. My husband and I sold our house and we are making the move from the ocean to the mountains. We bought an off the grid cabin in Vermont 4 years ago and have slowly been renovating it so that we could make it our forever home. The opportunity presented itself for us to fast track our dream of living in Vermont full time and we will be moving in 3 weeks. My husband will continue to work at our business in Massachusetts while I am able to stay at the cabin with our fur babies and work remotely. It will be incredibly hard for us to be separated 4 days a week, but we both know the sacrifice will be worth it. Our hearts are at the cabin and that is ultimately where we want to be. My emotions have been all over the place recently. I prayed for peace about the move this morning on my way to work. Then I arrived at the office, read your post and that, along with the prayers, have made me feel better. Thank you for the encouragement and wisdom!
I love this post so much! It’s exactly how I feel right now. I am making some changes in my life that feel scary but at the same time I just know I have to make them. And perhaps that is exactly why they are scary – because no matter how silly that might seem, sometimes we might actually fear that our dreams MIGHT come true. Whatever it is, I have just recently started a blog, as writing is something I wanted to do ever since I remember just never making time for it or making way too many excuses not to do it. Ever since I started though, I feel like I am exactly where I need to be. Is it scary to be opening up to the world? Yes. It is. But it’s so exciting, too. And I can’t wait to see where this new adventure is going to lead me. Though, I do not have much sense now of what I am doing, or how am I gonna make a living… 😉
Kris – this article is very good – congratulations on pulling together the heart, soul, and mind plus reminding us that taking action can be scary but so worthwhile. Trust yourself and the Universe that you will come out okay.
Wow. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I have been struggling with a big life change decision and my practical side is keeping me stuck because of the fear of the unknown. I need to trust that if I take the leap the uinverse has my back:)
Thank you for this contribution Kris and just wanted to ad that change is, yeah, SCARY… but, in the end, just as you said, its only a matter of time until it comes, again, knocking on your door like: Hey! it’s time to move away from “this”, whatever look it has. I ended up a 10 year old romantic relationship and even when I was terrified in the beginning, I cannot be more proud of myself now and today. That decision, leap, call it how you like, turned me into the amazing woman I’m able to be today. A standing ovation for our friend fear and for US not following his advice all the time. Love, Laura
I’m proud of you too! You ARE amazing. xo, kc
Thank you for this! It really struck a chord, and made me tingle all over. I’ve been working on a big project that I hope will create big changes in my life, and sometimes it is so hard, and so scary! But I think I will have to read and re-read this blog post to help keep me inspired and courageous. 🙂
Your post is incredibly timely Kris. After a heartwrenching and stressful 7 months, and the workplace issue ending resolved but unjust, I’m now awake to the signs that have been appearing for a long time now. It’s truly time to uplevel and leave behind what isn’t for me.
This is how I’ve felt for so long! My heart pulling me, but my head had so much hesitation. Finally, after many years, the right opportunity came along, and I’m taking the plunge! I quit my job and am doing what I love-working with animals. It’s what drives me. Great article! Thank you for your inspiring perspective and insight. ??
Congrats on taking the plunge! And thank you for dedicating your work to animals. xo, kc
Thank you Kris.
This is perfection
You always know what to say Kris, thank you <3
I’m coming out on the other side of several massive life change. I moved to a different city, lived away from my family for the first time, started a new job after being at the same company back home for 7 years, and then called of my wedding three weeks before the big day because I knew that the person I was going to be making a huge commitment to was not the right person for me. I can tell you it was the most uncomfortable part of my life, so far. Being able to look back now, I am in such a state of happiness and gratitude for the courage that somehow just kept showing up! My life now is completely different, and all for the better. To anyone that is starting a journey no matter big or small, you’re going to rock it!!
Thanking you for this beautiful post. It’s funny how life works. I have been torn with a decision – my head has needed a lot of time to catch up, my decision was semi made and then just before I had my phone call I read this post and it cemented my decision. Heart pounding, I’ve jumped off the cliff and trust that the universe will catch me. Big love x