Today’s blog is about learning how to love yourself by listening to and trusting your inner wisdom. If the sound of that has you a little freaked, stick around! This topic is close to my heart, so I’m gonna share some pretty personal stuff. I hope that doing so reminds you not only that we’re in this together, but that healing your relationship with yourself is absolutely possible.
Let’s start with a personal story…
I was an unhealthy serial dieter for most of my life. Disordered eating was my norm. Binging, purging, counting calories and struggling… I was caught in a never-ending cycle that I didn’t even know I needed to rescue myself from.
As an actress and dancer, it felt like it was my job to be thin. I dieted not because it was what I wanted or needed, but because I thought I was supposed to. I valued my worth by how small I was.
Can you relate? I’ve heard countless stories from folks in this community who’ve been caught in that same cycle. Rather than loving ourselves as we are, we let a barrage of external messages about how to eat (…think, work, vote, love, etc.) determine our behavior. This makes it hard for our intuition to take the wheel and tell us what would actually make us happy and healthy.
If this is resonating with you, here’s some great news…
You can learn to question and reject the harmful messages that keep you disconnected from yourself and start listening to your intuition instead. And when you do that, it’s easier to let go of self-destructive habits and replace them with practices rooted in radical self-love. Trust me when I say, you are worthy of that.
And I have more good news! This mindset shift isn’t as hard to make as you might think. Yes, it takes time and patience. But our bodies and minds are very forgiving—they’re ready to heal and welcome us back home to ourselves.
Learning How to Love Yourself and Trust Your Intuition
My journey back home to myself started with my cancer diagnosis. Suddenly, it was abundantly clear that listening to everyone but myself wasn’t working. I’m not saying that diets and certain lifestyle choices caused my cancer. But I realized how out of touch I was with what my body needed. I was locked into what society, work and my own self-judgement expected of me, which made it impossible to hear my intuition crying out for help.
So I slowly let my body and inner wisdom take over. I started listening to myself. Hearing what my symptoms were telling me. Honoring that little voice that was guiding me to a healthier path. Once I started focusing on loving myself (and my tumors) just as I was, everything changed. I stopped obsessing about everything I put in my mouth and focused on eating real, whole foods. I became a lot more gentle and caring with myself. And I started to feel better. Over time, this practice helped me to not only transform my relationship with food, it also taught me how to be a dear friend to myself—nothing is more healing than that.
It didn’t happen overnight and I still struggle with negative thoughts about myself sometimes. But that’s normal! Part of learning how to love yourself is accepting that you won’t be positive (or compassionate) all the time. The trick is to consistently minimize the negativity you let in and prioritize being kind to yourself over beating yourself up.
The following practices helped me tap into my intuition and let self-love lead the way. I still use them to get centered when I’m out of alignment and I hope they help you do the same! And just so we’re clear, this isn’t only about what we eat. It’s about letting our inner wisdom shine through and guide everything we do.
Take a vacation from the noise.
It can be really confusing to get hit with messages that conflict with what your intuition is saying. And during this phase of finding your way home to yourself, you might be especially vulnerable to that kind of influence. So, at least for now, just give yourself a break.
This will mean something different to everyone. Say, for example, you’re making a big decision about whether or not to take a new job. You might have a friend who has a strong opinion on the matter and wants to hash it out with you. It’s ok to ask them to talk about something else (get my tips for gently ending convos here!). Let them know that you love them and value their opinion, but you’re figuring this one out on your own.
And whether we realize it or not, many of us receive negative, anxiety-inducing messages via technology. I encourage you to schedule tech-free time to connect with yourself. Also, unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. They affect your subconscious more than you think and when you’re trying to reconnect with your own innate wisdom, Instagram can wait!
Psst… Want support as you reconnect with yourself and let your body take the lead? My Inner Circle Wellness community is a loving space where you can get the help you need to cultivate sustainable health. Doors open a few times a year, so sign up for the waitlist to be in the know.