Hiya Gorgeous!
As wellness seekers, we’re constantly looking for ways to find harmony on our plates, in our bodies and throughout our lives. Yet sometimes, that harmony comes from making tough decisions about our relationships. Some folks boost our energy reserves. Others drain us dry.
In reality, we each have choices. We get to decide who we allow into our inner sanctum (the space where our spirits replenish, our hearts open and our being renews). Not everyone deserves an all-access pass. That’s why today’s post is a meditation on moving on. Gracefully ending a toxic relationship or one that no longer serves you might just be what the doctor ordered.
Life has a much bigger plan for you.
Happiness is part of that plan. Health is part of that plan. Stability is part of that plan.
Constant struggle is not.
While I’m not a breakup expert, I’ve done it many times, and it’s been done to me. Friends, boyfriends, fiancés (yes, I’ve had a few), work relationships, family members—you name it, it’s fallen apart. It’s often more comfortable to stay in the broken places rather than risk the glorious (and terrifying) unknown. There are countless rational excuses that keep us stuck. One of my favorites: timing. “This is the worst time to make a change. I’m too busy, too tired, too broke, too needy, too not-enough.”
But, there’s another side to this story—the one that takes your well-being into account. Is it ever a good time to stuff your feelings and soldier on? To exhaust yourself mentally and physically? Is it ever a good time to operate from a place of shame or guilt? Or, continually repeat the same behavior that created the problems in the first place? Habitually attempting to fix the unfixable is crazy-making.
How to Identify Toxic Relationships
Let’s get brave and tell the truth.
Start by observing the thoughts running through your head. How do you honestly feel about the person in question? When I find myself in a pain cave, I crack open my journal for some good old scribble therapy. I write, uncover, release, write, cry, write, rage, write, sigh, write, nap… write. Try it. Ask yourself any of the following sample questions and then write freely. Do your best to stay open and receive. After you’ve gotten it all out, sit back and reflect on your words. Guess what? Your soul said that—loud and clear. Really take it in. You may need to do this exercise for weeks or months before you’re ready to say sayonara.
Questions to ponder:
- Is the pain too great to stay the same?
- Do I constantly picture an alternate reality?
- Do I need a translator to be heard?
- Is it impossible to make boundaries?
- Am I the only one that is willing to meet in the middle?
- Is getting an apology (when it’s truly deserved) like pulling teeth?
- Does this relationship take more energy than it gives?
- Is blaming and complaining getting really old?
- Am I completely fatigued when I’m with the person and energetic when they’re gone?
- If it’s a romantic relationship, are the sparks dead—end of story?
- Do I smile when I want to yell, and then yell at the wrong people?
- Is the only thing holding me back my fear of newness?
- Am I afraid of what people will think of me if this relationship fails?
- Does this person make me feel like I’m lost without them?
- Do I find myself missing the old me?
- And so on…
If you find yourself nodding “yes” to any of the questions above, you might be in a toxic relationship.
How to say Goodbye to Toxic Relationships
Deciding to end a toxic relationship might not be the same as actually leaving or creating boundaries (physical or emotional). The more entangled you are, the more logistics might have to be worked out. It’s OK to take your time and plan the exit and the next phase.
I’ve found that the hardest relationships to get out of are the ones that are the most dysfunctional.
The stress definitely takes its toll. That’s why you might need some help. Seek guidance from a coach, therapist (here’s a resource to help you find one) or a really grounded friend—the kind who loves you unconditionally and isn’t afraid to help snap you back to reality. If you fear for your safety in any way, please consider seeking support from the resources below.
Remember that no matter what’s going on, you are not alone.
- The National Domestic Violence Hotline
- Suicide Prevention Lifeline
- RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline
Whether I’ve had a breakup pit crew or gone solo, the best outcomes have always started from a place of honesty and humility.
Zero BS. Zero finger pointing. Zero manipulation. And, no last digs. I apologize when needed and try to recall what was once wonderful. There’s no need to force the other side to see my point. If they were going to see it, that would have happened long ago. It’s over. Finito.
Is it always this clean? Nope. I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a red hot temper! In my 47 years, there’s been broken dishes, shattered hearts and some serious soul searching. In some cases, I wish I had more compassion and better communication skills. In others, I wish I’d gotten out sooner. Clearly, it’s not always simple. But these days when my bones tell me to pack my bags, I listen.
Grief is good. Feel it. Heal it.
Will your life really fall apart when you move on from a toxic relationship? Maybe. Mine has several times. And, maybe that’s exactly what it takes to build the life you were meant to live. For the most part, it’s rarely that dramatic.
Remember the real you beneath your fear. If you’ve forgotten, let me remind you. You are resilient. Awesome. Inspiring. Worth it. Spectacular. Creative. Funny. Kind. Strong.
If this post resonates with you, but you’re not ready to change, just let these words swim around and wake up your consciousness. That’s more than enough.
What’s on the other side of change?
Relief, freedom, authenticity, true love, nourishing relationships (with yourself and others), fresh starts and smarter beginnings. Follow your true north. The coordinates on your internal compass read like this: Honor your uniqueness, listen to your heart, appreciate your rhythm, know and be loyal to yourself. When we follow those directions, it’s easy to understand if it’s time to take a turn in a new direction.
Your turn: Have you ended a toxic relationship or one that no longer serves you? Share your story to inspire others and so that we can support you! Sometimes, hearing about someone else’s courage helps us overcome our own fears. Let’s get real in the comments below.
Peace & bag packing,
I had to just disengage altogether from my alcoholic boyfriend! When I met him a year and a half ago he didn’t tell me his past until he employed. From a loving man to a person I do not recognize any longer it was shocking. With many times to rehab and failing to stop his drinking, I had to leave and save my self. I will go through a morning period because I did love him and learn to continue to move on by myself. Thank you
I need to leave my toxic on/off relationship since 2y. I’m so emotionally drained and fragile, but I need to stop and not go back. He has taken all I could give without nothing back besides his company. I am always left emotionally and physically drained. The last thing just defines it all, after 2w of listening to his hours of job search talk and fixing his resume, fixing his weekend meals since he is always drunk on weekends, fixing his life- he not even once asked how I am. Finally I sprained my ankle and was in pain at home and all he could do is chop me apart emotionally on how I am an unhappy person and if there is anything I have been happy about for the last 3 days, like seeing him. I am sorry that I don’t dream of being his servant wife, loosing my soul on his expectations. Yes I’m too old, 37 and yes he is right no one will want the unhappy broken me. But I need myself back. I am not this ghost even if I need to lay on the floor and cry for a while.
Hi Annie. This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy. I am so happy you’re here with us and have decided to make changes. Putting yourself first is key – you are *absolutely* worth it. You’re not too old to do what’s best for you – trust me when I tell you there are people much, much older than you making huge, scary changes. We’ve all been there, you are not alone. The team is so happy and proud of you for wanting to get back to your true self. You are worthy, dear one, of all you desire. If you think professional help might build you up a bit, Psychology Today is a great reference to help you find someone. Remember: we all need help and support. The whole team is sending you so much love, Annie. We’re really happy you’ve reached out and are looking toward a brighter and happier future for you. We believe in you. Here’s a blog Kris wrote that has helped so many – a thriver’s manifesto. Live your truth, thriver, we’re cheering you on.
I am to the point of walking away and not turning back. We broke up last February, but I came back. I came back on the promise that it would be different, that she had been working on herself as much as I had. But that wasn’t the case. I was going to leave again two months ago, but she cried and pleaded me to stay saying how much she loved me and how much I meant to her, but that was all bs too. Here we are for the third time, and I am tired and sad. My kids don’t want to be here anymore, they are miserable and know how two faces she is. In the public she is a gem, but behind closed doors she ignores all of us. If I spend too much time with my kids, she gets jealous and starts an argument.
I have not experienced this type of anxiety and hell in over 10 years. My ex husband was horribly abusive. I swore I would never let anyone treat me like he did, but here we are and I have.
I am tired of being told it is my fault, that I use her, I don’t do anything right, I have blamed everyone my entire life for everything, I am an awful parent, I will never understand the things she has achieved because I will never be as good as her, and on and on and on.
Sometimes I wonder if I really am a terrible person, if all the horrible things she is saying to me are true. But then one of my children reminds me how much they love me and how great a person I really am.
I need to leave I really do. And I know I can do it, but I have become so weak. I have begun believing the bs she sprays at me. Every night I cry myself to sleep because the roller coaster she has me on is maddening.
I am living life one day at a time right now. And keep telling myself it will be so much better once we are out of her trip for good.
Hi Jennifer. This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy. I am so happy you’re sharing your story. It sounds like you are on the right back, my friend. First up, you have realized that you are most definitely NOT a terrible person. I’m glad your children remind you of that, and I’m sure they’ll remind you over and over again – because you are wonderful. Secondly, you said you need to leave and that’s super important. Please remember you can always reach out for help from a friend or professional (if you’re in the US, Psychology Today has a terrific list to get you started). It’s ok to get help, this is big stuff, and you deserve to thrive (check out Kris’s Thriver’s Manifesto). Your children also need you to feel safe and good, and you need that yourself, Jennifer.
Check out Kris’s affirmations that always pick me up. Plus, she created some graphics that are gorgeous and can be downloaded and used as wallpaper.
Please take excellent care of your beautiful self. You are worth it. The whole team is sending you lots of love and support. You’ve got us on your shoulder rooting for you from afar.
Heartbroken.
My ex left me after 5 years, 2 kids, a home and an engagement in June 2019.
I have tried to be flexible with the kids but he wasn’t the same the agreed times were always altered or changed so I felt like I have no life.
I got a solicitor involved just to out a schedule in place and he didn’t like that and flew off the handle. So much so I feared for my safety the police were involved and he has a court order not to come near me or our family home.
Things are starting to settle and plans are being put in place for him to see the kids as I want them to know their father.
He is in a new relationship now with a girl 10 years younger than him and it kills me but I would never stop contact with the kids.
Part of me never wants to experience it again but the bigger back just wants him back. I just want my relationship with the man I love back. I feel so empty and have done and nothing is shifting it.
I feel like no one is interested in dating me and if they are they are no where near me.
I just want my ex back yes our relationship got boring and into a routine and all the nagging and stupid argument didn’t help. But I love him. Please give me some advice, some help.
Hi Stacey. This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy. If the police got involved and felt a court order was necessary, it sounds like you did the best for yourself and your kids by leaving him. Good for you! Keep that head held high and it sounds like the best thing to do might be staying your course and loving him (as your children’s father) from a distance. Talking to a professional might help as well. The whole team wishes you all the very best, Stacey. Please take excellent care of yourself and your precious kids. You deserve to be treated like the perfect person that you are!
Great insight on toxic relationships, thanks for sharing this post!
I broke up with my ex 3months ago, were together 18months before I finally said enough is enough. He was paranoid beyond belief, I was always upto something in his head, if I changed the bedsheets he thought it was because I’d cheated while he was at work! Always walking on eggshells to not wind him up.
He started to attack me whenever he was drunk, started with a little push or shove then one time he got into a rage and flung me over a high garden wall. God knows how I only had cuts and bruises but I put it down to him being depressed and not on right meds so we worked through it. Fine for afew months untill a party at my friends house, he believed I was sleeping with his mate behind his back! Utter balls! I had the cheek to ‘smirk’ at his accusations and he just saw red. I swear his face changed in an instant and he became a monster.. grabbed me by my arms and flung me as hard as he could across the garden. I had a glass bottle in my mouth at the time, the fall caused the bottle to break my teeth and a piece of glass made a deep cut on my chest. Left me crying and covered in blood while he ran in to friends saying he didn’t do anything!
Said sorry the next day and he’ll get help etc but too late. Twice, he could have gone too far and I may not even be here now, Nobody deserves to live in constant fear. What I’m struggling with though is the thought that I’ve abandoned him when he’s mentally unwell… alcohol made him violent, still suffered with depression, paranoia and anxiety when sober…how do you know when to give up on someone or keep helping them?
Hi there. This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy and it sounds like you were extremely smart to get out of that situation. Good for you! That’s such a hard step that many can’t do – and you did! Please keep in mind you can’t “fix” anyone, even with all the love in the world. No one can. We all need to fix ourselves, and there is plenty of help out there if we want it. He needs to get help on his own. No one deserves to be treated like you were. If he can’t treat you like the special and magical soul you are, he needs to work on himself. If it feels right, send him love – from a distance – and forgive him (more on that here), but please, please put yourself first and stay safe. Like you said, twice he could have gone too far and you may not be here now. Let’s keep you out of that situation. I wish peace for you both and sincerely hope he gets professional help ASAP. But that’s up to him, not us, right? Sending you so much love… please give yourself a HUGE hug from Kris and the team for being such a brave soul. Applause all around!
I wish I knew what is holding me back. I know the thought of him with another woman, makes me very sad. He constantly belittes me and would rather be on his phone or out with his friend. We just moved here and I haven’t made any friends or anyone to talk to. I believe I deserve better than what he is giving me. I just can’t bring myself to leave him. What is wrong with me? We don’t spend time together and he picks fights as an excuse for ” I’m going out, and shut the f### up” I am so confused and would love an outsiders perspective. Thank you ?
Hi Sarah, this is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. You’re right, you deserve the best and if that’s not what you’re getting, you need to make some changes. Change is tough for anyone, and this is a big change. Would you ever be willing to talk to a professional? They can help you dive in a bit more to why you’re staying, tools you could use, support for next steps, etc. If you live in the US, we recommend people look at Psychology Today’s list of therapists as a great resource. Most importantly, please take excellent care of your beautiful self. Kris and the whole team is sending you lots of support from afar, Sarah. Xo.
Hi I love that this space exist because although I love my friends and have turned to them it’s embarrassing because probably won’t make the right decision and it’s hard to take someone’s advice who’s never been in my situation. I’m only 18 and my friends are my age and I’m in college. He’s 20 and didn’t even graduate that usually wouldn’t bother me but when I get mad I think about it. We argue a lot and when he’s get really mad …he we might get into a physical altercation …where he would push me pull me or sit on me …and he says he does it so I won’t leave . Every time he hits me I try to leave and call my mom but I’m also very verbal when I’m upset but never really violet unless I feel threatened. He sometimes uses that and flips it on me to make it like I’m hurting him too, and this is more of my fault than it is his . I met him when I was a senior in high school so i was sneaking around my mom to see him for a year and I always feel guilty about that and think that maybe this is my fault and I’m being punished. My mind is done I know it but I don’t have a job, he dosen’t either, but I’m in college and I’m looking for something stable. Every time I try to ask him about school he tells me he’ll go but wakes up everyday and just plays the game like life is all good. That’s what makes us different. After being with him in high school my grades dropped but I had to pick them up on my own to graduate high school, no one know what I went through because I had the mindset that’ since I was making the terrible decision to be with this person then I should deal with the consequences. Being in college now is already demanding and he’s really insecure which I tell him about because I’m very vocal but I’ve noticed being vocal just leads to fights where we’re saying stuff to hurt each other .He says that I’m always trying to be perfect or that he’s not as smart as me but I don’t feel that has anything to do with anything because I love him dispite his flaws. We smoke a lot of weed together because that’s just what he likes to do, I want to stop bad but I feel I’m somewhat addicted . I haven’t been happy in a long time I just feel that if I go with the flow the relationship would eventually end cus it doesn’t feel meant to be . I cannot break up with him he’ll do and say anything so that I can’t leave …I don’t know what to do.
Hi Angelica. This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy and we’re so happy you’ve found some support here. I have emailed you privately, please check your email when you can. We’re sending you lots of love and healing energy, sweet friend.
Amen! And you don’t owe him any explanation. Set his belongings outside and change the locks. Don’t answer calls, Because I promise you this, If you ignore them, it only takes, at the most, 2 weeks to finally stop hounding or calling or bugging you. Because by then, they have met their new victim, and have started to blend in with other people somewhere else, and will have forgotten you.
last week my husband has presented me with divorce papers,
Hi Kesha. This is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy and I am so sorry for all that you are going through. Please makes sure to keep taking care of yourself. We are sending you love from afar and wish you all the very best. Here is a great article Kris wrote about self-care that might help during this difficult time: https://kriscarr.com/blog/gentle-self-care-tips/. Xo to you, Kesha.
I’ve been married for 6.5 years, been with my SO 10yrs total. I’m at a point of wanting to end things for the last few years, but am too scared of failure and making the wrong decision. I am not attracted to my husband and honestly can’t remember the last time I was. Over the years we’ve argued about so many things especially when it came to finances and sex. When we try to communicate, my husband would get defensive and angry and then I would just shut down and leave the room because I’m too exhausted to keep arguing. We would never resolve our issues and we just kept cycling back to the same things. I’m Catholic and divorce is frowned upon and I don’t want to the wrong thing. My values mean a lot to me, but I’m just worried I’ll never have true happiness and love with my spouse. We’re going to counseling, seeking advice from friends and family and we continue to try to work things out, but my heart isn’t in it anymore. I feel as though I’m just hanging on for everyone else. I’ve also fallen for somebody else unintentionally. Wasn’t looking for anything, but just happen to meet someone at work and we just seemed to click. I’ve never physically cheated and don’t intend to, but we’re emotionally attached and I don’t know what I need to do. I’m too scared to leave my spouse, but as hard as it will be I think it’s what is best. Any other advice anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated because I’m so tired of living in limbo. I’m tired, stressed, sad, depressed, and lonely.
I have been in a relationship for 4 years and don’t know how to end this back and forth thing. This man has a nice house, good job, excellent credit but refuses to help me get on my feet from basically losing my car, job and no money at all. I finally found another job working for Walmart making $11/hr, when I normally make $17/hr. I figure any job is better than no job at all. I take the bus to get to work and sometimes he picks me up. I can’t understand why he don’t help me get on my feet, when he has two trucks paid off and excellent credit to be able to help me, but don’t and says he loves me alot. And once I start working wants me to pay rent to him if I want to live there. This lady was selling this car for $300 so I asked him to lend me the money but he said he didn’t have money but the same week turned around and paid $900 for the A/C and $100 to get a tire for his extra truck he has. Is it wrong for me to want to leave this relationship because of how he is with me
I’ve been married for less than seven weeks. The other night during an argument..My new husband physically abused me. No punches or slaps but helld and thrown down 3 separate times an hour. I am bruised and sore and don’t know what to do. I’ve never seen this side before. He apologized and said it would never happen again. Still love him … But I’m hurt inside and out and I don’t know what to do
Hey there, this is Jennifer from Team Crazy Sexy. Thank you for reaching out, I’m glad you did. I just sent you a private email reply.
Thank you so much for this. I have read every Toxic Relationship study, blog etc, but this is the first one with great positive affirmations. I’ve been hanging on to my best friend of 15 years, who, the last year has been putting me down subtly and making me feel small. (Because I’m doing a master’s and she’s not, she told me this bothers her). I’ve been doing huge self improvement and this was making her feel bad. (I always bragged about her if she had success…I’m very grateful I do not experience envy against my friends; I guess we all have our weakness, mine was being a sap) Out of guilt I kept making excuses, saying she’s going though a hard time. I’d be extra super nice to her. I cared about her and wanted her to be happy. I was not being loyal to myself. Now I am excited to discover the new me, and feel like I have my mojo back! I can’t tell this person how I feel because we don’t have that dynamic anymore. I had built part of my identity around this friend. I’ve spent 6 months obsessing over how to fix it, and what to say to her. But as this article says I can’t force her to see my point. No last digs. I have a sense of freedom about the situation now at last. Thank you ?
After a year no contact we got back in contact and communicated and caught it up was great. He wanted to rekindle from the other side of the country instead I wrote a long nice email of closure. No response until a week later and he blows up my phone like I never said anything at all? Wtf..
Thanks for finally writing about >Signs of a Toxic
Relationship | What is a Toxic Relationship? <Liked it!
8 yrs. I’ve been with the man I love. During my long drug out divorce to my ex-husband whom I share 3 children with I bumped into this man at a fundraiser. 4 yrs apart in age, as children we weren’t friends but he was tangled in through my sister’s friends and we fell in love. Eventually we merged our families. I was the sole mother figure in his 3 children’s lives as she was absent and shared custody of my 3 children with my ex-husband. The 2 of us and 6 children was chaotic to say the least. But I was happy, I loved him, loved his children and could see a forever with him. Every relationship has ups & downs as did we but there was always understanding. When married I ended up being a victim of a very controlling, manipulative, mental abusing, persuasive man that will till this day make the friend of everyone in the room. Getting the courage to leave him w/ 3 small children as a stay at home mom was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. The man I fell in love with knew all of this, knew my boundaries of arguments, what I would never allow and respected them always. Until he didn’t. 4 yrs in He crossed that line and I packed my children and fled. 4 months later we reunited. With promises and regret but never moved back in with one another but spend every night together. He claims he loves me more than he’s ever shown me. He believes if he does that I’ll purposely hurt him. Because apparently all women charge their lovers heart when he treats her like she deserves. I’ve always wanted to one day be a wife again, to not let my marriage allow me to be happy as a wife but it seems he’ll never give me that. Has he crossed that line in the last 4 yrs? Yes. Do I know its never ok? Yes. I wonder if it’s because he does love me like he is scared to show and reacts in his anger because he’s deeply wounded by his past and terrified to lose me or if he is as selfish as I sometimes believe, hates that I will make it on my own with out him which gives him doubt of the sincerity of my love. He doesn’t trust me and I dont believe he loves my children. In a devoted mother that does my best as a single mom and does my best to love the man that I believed was my forever. Every argument turns into a battering of all the things he believes I do when he’s not around. I dont give a reason for these thoughts and defending myself only makes things worse and I become the worst names a girl could be by the man who is supposed to protect her. He says he feels sick after such fights, regretful, doesnt know why he does it. I’m at my tipping point. I live who he is when we’re inseparable, but when we are not, it always comes with the accusations when I see him again. After he’s done with the rant, its forgotten by him. Me, well I back away, become distant and recently he confronts my distance. Says he knows I’ve lost hope, and there could be no other reason for my distance than giving myself to someone else. I go back and forth. Do I end things, if not how do i fix this.
Deep down I know what to do. And to move on I think to myself, “heal from this, a write your book”. My faith has been beat down, my soul, my heart over 2 relationships since 1999. I want to do something with my knowledge. What I’ve learned it does to your children, what their lives are like, how I handle it all. I’d love some help, encouragement is always nice too. All my battles were faught alone, by myself all by making sure my children never lost respect, never lost love, loat their way. It’s been a rollercoaster the to add in life all around during these times. Housewife to part time jobs barely getting by, to finding a great job, a life changer. That got ripped away too. It’s where I’m at now. Lost my great job, great money, about to lose my home- my children’s home. My so called man doesnt seem to be a man at all and I see this swirling black pit I’m getting sucked into. It’s just me. Me and my kids. I hold on as tight as I can, I’m fighting. It just doesnt matter much when you can’t pay your rent. I cam say the landlord has no compassion but that wouldn’t be fair. And the love of my life? Sadly I dont believe he’d help if he was a millionaire.
I’ve been in 4 marriage’s everyone bad im not a fighter . My abuse started as a child and went on to all my relationships. I’ve always given them space then try to talk to them when I think the problem is calmed down .no matter what I seem to be the one who causes the problem. I could be locked in my room for days and have said nothing but yet it my fault and I’m destroying the family. My first marriage 11yrs.#2-was 8yrs.#3was2yrs,then stayedo alone 15 yrs. When I married #4-lasted 5months. He got me in an horrible car accident and left me like road killed dog bleeding and disappeared.and no one will give him up to the law.And now comes home ,sick and never felling good and am getting the yelling from my son,and accusation of all kinds of things from his girlfriend and last week got yelled at by my son girlfriends friend. I ask myself why?? Don’t know but I was not created by GOD To put up with any more. When I left the state 1 year and 4 months ago I gave everything away I’m 64 going on 65. I can’t work but need to start over again. Please pray for me. I BELIEVE GOD STILL HAS BLESSINGSOME AND MIRACLES. DON’T STAY LIKE I HAVE GET OUT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL OF US WOMEN.WE WERE CREATED BY GOD TO BE HELP MATES UNDER MAN’S RIBEST TO BE PROTECTED AND LOVED. NOT ABUSED BY NO _one not even your kids. GOD BLESS YOU ALL KEEP SAFE WERE NOT DOOR MATTS…
My high school sweetheart contacted me after 40 years. Both of us had been thru wirlwind relationships, I myself married & divorced, but I was hoping that finally my true fairy tale happines had came true. Once again I store my heart away behind a brick wall, protecting it from hurt, sorrow & pain.
After my 2011 diagnosis of astrocytoma brain cancer grade II, it became clear that I SERIOUSLY needed to reduce the stress in my life. And this meant cutting ties with these “energy vampires,” one who was unfortunately a longtime friend of over 30+ years. I have to say that since doing this, I don’t regret it at all. It’s as if my life has taken a new and refreshing turn–I feel incredibly relieved. It may sound brutal, but it’s true. I’d known for years, ever since 1997, that my “friend” was becoming a vampire. But it wasn’t until 2012 that I finally made that move to just cut ties. It’s amazing–you don’t really know how suppressed you were until you FINALLY let them go. Thank you Kris for this much-needed post!