Kris Carr

Emotional Health

How to Beat the Holiday Stress (and Soothe Your Inner Perfectionist) (Video Post)

Hiya Gorgeous!

Are you a recovering perfectionist like me? If so, the holidays can be especially tough. You want to make it “the most wonderful time of the year” for all the people you love. But that can quickly turn into “the most stressful time of the year” for you!

It feels like a bad version of the 12 days of Christmas: 

    • 5 days left till Christmas
    • 4 more gifts to track down
    • 3 last-minute houseguests
    • 2 weeks worth of wrapping
    • And one miserable Christmas card photoshoot!

If the holiday magic you’d hoped for has disintegrated into a big ball of holiday stress, you’re not alone. Here’s a sweet and simple mantra to soothe your inner perfectionist and help you find some genuine joy at this time of year.

The 3-Minute Holiday Stress Cure

Read the transcript here…

Kris: So for all of us, perfectionists out there… And look, if you are a perfectionist, no shade. It means that you believe in quality. It means that you believe that you want to put the best of yourself out in the world. It means that you have standards. These are very good things to have. You like to do things well and thorough, and I applaud you. But when it tips into a place that’s counterproductive and that’s not good for your health and makes it so that your life doesn’t have space for your well-being, that’s when it’s problematic. And that’s when we want to really think about these things.

So couple of things that have helped me, this always comes from what helps me, is to start to learn to identify the point of diminishing returns. When done is good enough, and doing more doesn’t create more results, it just creates more hassle, more work, and less time for your life. So more is not better. So identifying where that point is and then pulling yourself back.

Number two, celebrating your progress. Oftentimes, as I’ve shared in the past, we always are measuring our gaps: where we aren’t where we want to be, what’s missing, what’s not good enough—the gaps. You want to start to focus more and more on celebrating those gains because it’s the progress, it’s acknowledging those gains that keeps you motivated. But also it keeps you grounded in a sense of reality. Okay? Measuring your gaps is is not being grounded in the sense of reality. Measuring how far you’ve come, measuring all that you have achieved, measuring how much you have grown, that is grounded in reality, my friends.

And so I will end with another mantra: it’s already good enough. Okay so whatever it is that you are overdoing, I want you to look at it, I want you to sit with it, and I want you to say to yourself, “It’s already good enough.” Oh! It’s already good enough and you are already good enough.

And I hope some of these ideas have helped you take the best and leave the rest. Put it into your cooker and see what kind of stew comes out. I love you. I’m so happy to be with you. Self-love is health care, and I will see you in our community.

A few big takeaways:

    • Why perfectionism ain’t all bad (it’s the definition of good intentions gone awry)
    • How to spot the point of diminishing returns where doing more doesn’t create better results
    • My #1 secret for reclaiming your sense of progress, motivation, and satisfaction (hint: it’s all about what you measure)
    • And your new simplification mantra: “Done is good enough!”

So, from one recovering perfectionist to another, I’m wishing you peace and ease. Take a deep breath, drop those shoulders (and drop a few things off your task list, too!). Remember: it’s already good enough.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your best tip to make the holidays feel easier? Let’s share our wisdom in the comments.

Sweet simplicity,

Add a comment
  1. Rita Koll says:

    I’ve gotten SOOOO much better at delegating. Food and Mom don’t have to be synonymous in everyone’s mind! If someone else prepares my signature dish and it’s not “the way Mom makes it”, that’s just fine. It’s better than fine. It’s beautiful and occasionally funny. And I double down on my meditation practice and gratitude. Merry Christmas, Kris Carr, and Kris’ fans, one and all!

  2. Anne-Marie says:

    A few years ago, I stopped trying to do the tree all in one day. I am single, and so I would select and cut my tree at a local tree farm, stuff it in the back of my VW Jetta,drive home, haul it out of the trunk, stand it up straight-ish in the tree stand, carry tree and stand into the house, add water, put on the lights, and then decorate. IT WAS EXHAUSTING. I wasn’t enjoying it at all. And then I dreaded taking it all down. I gave myself permission to bring the tree home and into the house on one day…and then eventually the lights went on. And eventually the decorations went on. One year I didn’t decorate beyond the lights. It was beautiful. And I felt peaceful. 🙂

  3. Thank You from the bottom of my heart . . . Merry Christmas and to the Best of a New Year . . .
    You have been an Angel sent to me and I believe so many . . . Take Care,
    Very Best Wishes,

    • Kris Carr says:

      You’re so very welcome, Carol! 🌟 Merry Christmas to you too, and may the upcoming year be filled with health, happiness, and all the best life has to offer. Take care and warmest wishes to you as well!

      With gratitude,

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