Kris Carr

Emotional Health

How to Get Off the Fence and Make a Decision (video)

Hiya Gorgeous!

Did you know that the average person makes over 35,000 decisions a day? A day! Sound unbelievable? I thought so, too. But the more I mulled it over, the more I realized how much the decisions we’re faced with really start to add up.

Sometimes we’re consciously making tough decisions about how to manage our finances, deal with a health crisis or resolve a challenge at work. And then there are the less obvious decisions—what kind of tea to make, if we should take the dog out before or after breakfast, which words to use in an email… The list goes on!

Here’s the thing: Each time our brains go through the decision-making process, they’re performing what’s called an “executive function.” And our capacity for executive functioning does have a limit. Yes, even our beautiful brains need a rest sometimes! If you’ve ever struggled to choose a restaurant for dinner at the end of a long day, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

There’s even a term for it—decision fatigue!

So, this all got me thinking. Many of us (myself included!) can have trouble making decisions. Maybe it’s because we’ve been faced with too many on a given day, or maybe it’s because certain decisions are just plain difficult—either way, we’ve gotta make ‘em! And that can be super stressful.

But ya know what’s stressful, too? Procrastination! Putting off decisions, no matter how hard they are, can make matters worse.

My 2-Step Decision-Making Process

I want to share something that’s helped me simplify my own decision-making process. When I’m working through a particularly tough decision or I just can’t seem to make up my mind, I ask myself two questions:

1. Will this tire or inspire me?

In other words, will the outcome I’m considering drain me or fill me up? It’s OK to be picky sometimes! We’ve got a limited amount of energy, so we should dedicate it to the things that truly matter to us.

2. What does my body have to say about it?

Call it instinct, call it a gut feeling—our bodies can usually feel the right decision long before our brains get on board. All we have to do is listen!

I want to give you the scoop on these questions, how you can use them to simplify your decision-making process and what to look out for when you answer them yourself. I’m covering that and more in my latest video—press play below to watch!

Thanks for watching, gorgeous! I hope these questions help you simplify the decision-making process so you can dedicate your energy to the things you love. And remember this: Nobody knows you better than you. When it comes to making decisions, trust yourself—I know I do!

Your turn: Do you have a decision you can use this strategy for? Take a minute and check in. Then let us know what you decided in the comments below!

Peace and getting off the fence,

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  1. Katerina says:

    I love the way you always have the answer! Thank you for all your wonderful work. All the best from Greece!

  2. Kate says:

    I am renting my house, but I live in diffrent town now. And I had to ask a friend for help and I feel I am asking for to much. As well my husband is not able to help me. He dosent like stress. For me is fun to do this ( renting ) but I need to ask him about all the stuff and he is making all stressfull when it isnt. He is so negative. He is my stress how work around him? How taje his stress away from me ?

    • kris says:

      That does sound like a difficult situation, Kate. I hope you’re able to be gentle with yourself and practice some self-care. Sending you love! xo, kc

      • Kate says:

        You right, I need to be more gentle with myself. I am doing good and I love what I am doing now.
        You are so kind person.
        I am every day looking at your instegram to see the new fun words and for help, and for new recipes.
        Thank you kindly ?

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Thanks, Kris! I am facing a big decision and really struggling. I will try these tips. I love the reminder that when we say “yes” to something we don’t really want to do, we are saying “no” to something else. There is always an “opportunity cost” to each decision because we have a finite amount of time.

  4. Nice advices! As I’m always confused with many desicions everyday, until now, I have made a lot of procrastinations.
    However, what if the answers for your 2 questions are conflicted with each other, what should I do?

    • kris says:

      Hi Natalie! That’s tough. I usually find that when I really dig deep, my answers align. So for example—maybe my initial reaction is that something will inspire me, but when I think about it a bit more, I see myself getting burned out. And when all else fails, I pause and try to tune into what my gut is telling me—the answer is usually there. I hope this helps! xo, kc

      • Thanks for the answer 🙂 Sometimes, even knowing what the answer is, it’s hard to make desicions. And even I did choose to follow my gut feeling but looking back, I kinda regret my desicion somehow. Anyway I know it’s always tough to make desicions no matter it’s true of false.

  5. Leah says:

    Love this Kris, 100%, you are right. I was coming to a new similar outlook lately and feeling guilty about doing a turn about on my ususal ‘yes to everything so I can help everyone attitude’. But, that doesn’t work for me anymore because without new vital things I have put now into my life for what I pray will be a longer life – like a 6 am workout, new eating plan suited for my needs and upping my sleep from 4 hours a night to 8 hours sleep in a 24-hour period as that’s what I can manage – guilt has to go and ‘no’ has to be a new way of accepting I am living a new life for a higher purpose. I wish I had learned all this earlier in my life. Its a tough lesson to learn at 54 years old and even harder to root out unhealthy habits and plant new systems and keep them solidly in place. Loved your simple way of saying something that helps me very much in my life now. Your are a beautiful inspiration. Thank you for your wise and helpful pep talks via videos that are a pleasure to watch and listen to. May you always be blessed for all the good you give to us out here in the world.

    • kris says:

      Sounds like you’ve made the decision to take good care of your precious self, Leah! Good for you—it’s not always easy to say “yes” to yourself and “no” to outside commitments. Sending you my love! xo, kc

  6. Dawn Engler says:

    Thank you Kris!
    Inspire or tire huh? Yep. That helped. I signed up, I thought, to volunteer with a group in passing along their message of being BearSmart here in Southern Colorado. Turns out, I signed up for the Steering Committee and I definitely don’t have the skills or inspiration for that level of volunteering. I was struggling with feeling like I would let them down if I removed myself from the committee BUT. When I look at tire or inspire, I have my answer.
    Thank you as always for your timely messages!

  7. Great post as usual!

  8. Elizabeth says:

    Kris, there must be an energy link going on somewhere?? Here I am in the U.K., this arrived on the day I had to make big decisions!! Just what I needed. You’ve saved me before. Many many thanks, with love, Liz

    • kris says:

      Thank you for sharing that, Elizabeth! That makes me smile. Hope the questions helped with your big decisions! xo, kc

  9. Kris! My mom always said ‘when in doubt, don’t’ . . . her version of checking in with your body! Great tips as always, thanks!

  10. Debbie Mills says:

    Thank you for your continued inspiration! YOU always know the way to convey a message that will be life changing!

  11. Mandy Saile says:

    Hi Kris, I have been learning to say no graciously for the past few years now and I am so glad that I’ve allowed myself to learn to do this, to not always feel super bad about saying no, because as a chronic and acute migraine and headache sufferer my time is even shorter than alot of peoples….when I say no to things that stress me out, exhaust me before I even start or just don’t plain excite me, I am saving my precious time for my honey, my bunnies and all the art these biggest loves in my life inspire.

  12. Linda says:

    Love your video. Yes I am always the person who people come to to get a task done. A few years ago I put together a cookbook as a fundraiser for my school. Well with a committee of 15 I thought it would be a piece of cake, not so, one by one people had other commitments or just were happy to come to meetings and make comments but unhappy to help.
    It was 2 years of my life, 320 pages, 5kgs testing all the recipes and a committee of 5 who managed to put a hard cover full gloss cookbook together. Now I am much more careful what I say yes to. Proud of what I did but was exhausted for
    6-12months with chronic pain. It took a long time to heal myself but I did it.

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