Kris Carr

Emotional Health

Life Lessons: How to Listen Better When Life Speaks to You

Hiya Gorgeous,

Last week, I had the privilege of hosting hundreds of you for a virtual Happy Hour. It was such a joy getting to spend time with you, answer your questions, and hear your stories.

To all those who came, THANK YOU. You’re such a gift to me!

And to those who wish they could have been there… I saved a little bit of Happy Hour to share with you. It’s a reading from the final chapter of my new book—a section called, “Taking Inventory”. It’s about the big life lessons that emerge when things get hard. Take a look and, when you’re done, I’ll share 3 specific ways you can be a better listener and capture your big life lessons before they pass you by.


How to Avoid Missing Out on Your Big Life Lessons

1. Stop and breathe.

Life is always speaking to us. At first, it taps us gently and whispers in our ears … But when we refuse to pick up what life is laying down, those whispers can turn into wrecking balls … Don’t blow off the messages. Listen to the whispers before they become roars.

During times of loss, transition and change, it can feel like life is already mid-roar. When there’s so much to process, it’s easy to shut down or shift into fight, flight or freeze mode. Right before I read this excerpt, we did an exercise in box breathing. And you’ll notice that before the question at the end, I again encouraged everyone to take a deep breath.

It’s perfectly normal to feel flooded when a rupture happens in your life. But to actually hear the life lessons under all that turmoil, we have to pause, breathe, and process.

2. Let go of the myth of temporary.

When life gets upended, some corner of our psyches becomes more aware that we will one day leave this planet. No one really wants to think about that (including me). But perhaps the heightened awareness of our limited time helps us see more keenly which parts of our lives could be pruned to make space for our next chapter.


I remember thinking, Once this is over, then I’ll live. Once this task—obligation, deadline, to-do—was complete, then I’d [take better care of myself, visit my best friend . . . fill in the blank]. But every time I finished a task or project, I failed to pause and keep the promises I had made to myself. Instead, I’d automatically turn to another item on my list.

The myth that struggles are temporary is a thief. It robs us of the urgency to live like we mean it. It makes us believe that there will be some fictional quiet time in the future to address the life lessons that are asking for our attention—to make the shifts that would set us free.

One of the gifts that grief brings is the shattering of that illusion. It reminds us that tomorrow isn’t promised. Life is happening right now. We don’t have to wait for an invitation or the “right time” to live the life we always meant to. That invitation is open and the best time to begin is today.

3. Focus on your next step.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the idea of listening to and applying your big life lessons. But just like eating a watermelon, the best way to go about it is one bite at a time.

Pay attention to your very next step. Don’t look back and beat yourself up for all the times you’ve ignored the whispers before—for all the changes you haven’t yet made. And likewise, don’t overwhelm yourself trying to plot a whole new trajectory for your life.

Just look for the next right step.

  1. Pause to breathe.
  2. Listen for one lesson your life is trying to teach you.
  3. Then take one step to act on it today.

That is enough, my friend.

You turn: What is one lesson that life is trying to teach you today? Share yours in the comments so we can learn from each other.


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  1. Joanne says:

    One message I keep getting is stop worrying about what the future holds and be in the present moment and enjoy. I try to work on this everyday.

  2. Mireille Goyette says:

    Before my husband died in May this year, he made a point of telling me that I had to let go. I knew what he meant. He never, in the thirteen years we had been together, gave me any advice. He was just there, always, when I needed him. Knowing that he was slipping away, he gave me that advice. And he was absolutely right to do so. That is exactly what I need to do. Painfully, but still, I have to listen…

  3. Suzanne Brack says:


    You are an angel, you are a gift. I tuned into this and of course, syncronicity. Divine timing for sharing your wisdom. Can’t thank you enough, even though that it made me cry, but all good as it was ever so necessary to hear. Thank you, gracias!

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