Kris Carr

Emotional Health

Forget Confidence, Choose Courage (video)

Hiya Gorgeous!

Starting when we’re very young, we’re told to be confident.

From first days of school to first dates, big tests to big meetings, we’re encouraged to be confident, get confident, act confident—no matter what.

But where’s all this confidence supposed to come from? We’re told to be confident, but not how. We have to figure it out on our own. I know I’ve spent years building those tools, and I’m sure you can relate!

Of course, it’s human nature to crave certainty. There’s something incredibly comforting about knowing the outcome—about being sure. We often seek confidence because it makes us feel like we can go into new, scary or unknown situations with less doubt.

But what if we’re actually focusing on the wrong thing?

I’ve learned over the years that very few things in life are certain.

When I was diagnosed with incurable Stage IV cancer, I wasn’t confident I’d live more than another 10 years. Any of the certainty I had about where my life was headed disappeared. So I stopped seeking confidence (and looking back, I’m so glad I did!). I had to find another way to move forward and take the chances necessary to improve my health.

Maybe you’ve also been faced with a decision or opportunity that had the potential to impact your life in a big way. And I bet that no matter how much thinking you did, how many pro/con lists you wrote and how much advice you got from trusted confidants, you eventually had to take the first step without being 100% sure of the outcome. Well, while you may not have realized it at the time, something deep in your bones helped you put one foot in front of the other.

It was courage, not confidence.

That’s what drove me to start taking better care of myself after my diagnosis and why more than a decade later, my life is more connected and magical than ever before. And guess what? It’s also the secret force that helps you make decisions and keep moving, even in times of fear and uncertainty.

And get this—when you consciously choose courage, incredible things start to happen. That’s exactly what my new video is all about. Press play below!


Here’s what I hope you’ll remember: If you choose courage, life will open up for you.

You’ll find it in you to make the changes you’ve been waiting for—to take the first step toward the better, healthier life you deserve. It’s all possible, so let your imagination run wild, sweetheart!

And special shout-out to my friend Dani Shapiro for informing and inspiring this awesome conversation!

Your turn: Ok, this may seem cheesy, but can we do a pinky swear? The next time you want to hold yourself back because you don’t feel confident enough, will you choose courage and take the leap? Give me a big YES in the comments below.

Peace and courage,

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  1. Jess says:

    Yes! I love this. And all of your other videos too! Along with everything else on the website. ☺️ I visit everyday for inspiration, encouragement and a daily boost! ?

  2. Anne Paulson says:

    Thanks for this video—-I never really thought about the difference between confidence and courage! Now if I could only be more courageous! Your videos are some of the best in the business; I’m grateful for your willingness to share your life and experience.

    • kris says:

      You are courageous, Anne! It might not always feel that way (I know what that’s like, too), but courage is part of who you are. I’ve also found that when I actively choose courage, it has a way of showing up. 🙂 xo, kc

  3. Mary Jane says:

    Yes! I’m going to remember my pinky swear today! Thank you!

  4. Astrid Tomac says:

    Thanks for this Kriss. Just preparing for a big presentation at work, and don’t feel confident about it at all. However, I know I am courageous enough so after listening to your video I feel I will be OK.

    • kris says:

      So happy to hear this resonated with you at the right time, Astrid! Sending you lots of love for your big presentation. xo, kc

  5. Sheila Hardwick says:

    Thank-you Kris, my courage comes from the Serenity prayer which asks for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. i used to think the last part was impossible but i have learned that it is actually very simple. I can only change myself (and yes, that does take courage), but I know that I only have to go step-by-step, second-by-second, doing what seems to be right. Although I have to accept what others do, I do have the power of choice as to how i will do this (hopefully with serenity), because I believe that discharging my responsibilities to the best of my ability and leaving the ultimate outcomes to a Higher Power, is the best way to serve the Universe.

    • kris says:

      Thanks for sharing, Sheila! Learning to accept the things we can’t change is so important. Glad to hear you’re dedicating your focus (and courage!) to the things you can. xo, kc

  6. Deborah says:


  7. Melissa says:

    YES!!!! Hehehe I was reading about courage today 😉 Such perfect timing! Thank you Kris for such a powerful message xx

  8. Barb says:

    Thank you that little video was just what I needed to boost my confidence. ?

  9. Christina says:

    I love that, Kris! It’s so true, yet I never thought about it this way. The part “No-one knows what they’re doing” made me laugh with teary eyes. So true. We’re all adventurous children trying to find our way, right? But, yes, the best things are often born from so-called mistakes, like a lot of the big (and smaller) inventions. Thank you for all you do! ❤️

  10. Cheryl says:

    Hello Kris,
    Good timing. I just found out my ovarian cancer is back a year after my treatments ended. I am now trying to decide what to do-chemo or alternative options. Either one is scary, and there is a part of me that does not want to disappoint my loved ones. I will pray to have courage in whichever direction I go. Do you ever talk directly to people?

    • kris says:

      Hey Cheryl! Perhaps it’s not an either or decision. I’m not sure if you’re happy with your current oncologist etc, but you may want to consider a second opinion to learn if there are other traditional options available. Also, I encourage you to work with an integrative MD / oncologist as well. A great doctor for you to check out is Keith Block, MD. His book Life Over Cancer is a game-changer. Also, Anticancer Living by Lorenzo Cohen and Alison Jeffries is amazing. Without a doubt, changing your diet, lifestyle (stress reduction etc) can vastly improve your healing. Thinking of you and sending all move love! xo, kc

  11. Alice says:

    I am really enjoying your videos. I also love your books, thank you for sharing this.

  12. Natalie says:

    I am just starting a new project in my home country where I have never worked and I am responsible to lead it. I have been so nervous if I will be able to do a good job. I got up this morning with a back pain telling my husband how I am stressed about it and I don’t feel confident and I don’t even feel rested after 8 hours of sleep. Then your email appeared in my inbox and the timing couldn’t be better. That is exactly what I needed to hear and I really like the explanation. It is hard to be confident until you have done something and know you can do it. However if we focus on work and putting ourselves out there to do the work and doing our best, that will give us strength to do the job and ultimately confidence. Thanks Kris!

    • kris says:

      I’m so glad this came at the right time for you, Natalie. It sounds like you’ve got a great mindset going into your project—sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes! xo, lc

  13. Michel Vaillancourt says:

    Dear Kris
    Beautiful as always, your attitude and words are very inspiring to accept ourselves as we are and to allow challenge to be part of our natural discovery in life. We need to let go of our stereo type way of thinking to allow our heart to have its rightful place and expression in every moment. Thank you for being an model of beauty, grace and love in my life. Much love to you dear friend.

  14. Penni says:

    YES YES YES! I struggle with confidence and end up with the anxiety shakes, the sweats, etc. I love this approach and will be using it going forward. Thank you as always you bring such amazing things into the lives of your followers, thank you for making a difference ?

    • kris says:

      Thanks for your comment, Penni! I hope this brings you some relief (I know it has for me!). Sending you lots of love! xo, kc

  15. Susan says:

    Yes! Thank you Kris! <3

  16. Marie Meyer says:

    Big bad ass YES!! Wow Kris, you always seem to show up when I’m in desperate need. Thanks you so much for your wonderful courage.

  17. Jessica Skarin says:

    I promise:-)!

  18. Sherry Brown says:

    It’s so powerful to know that I can finally STOP trying to wear the confident roll 24/7 ( how fake I’ve been to myself ). Today I pinky swear that I’m going reach into my tool box for real courage. The courage I KNOW I HAVE! What a fantastic message and I’m a big YES!

    • kris says:

      It can be so freeing to release the feeling that we need to be confident. So happy to hear that you’re choosing courage, Sherry! xo, kc

      • Sherry Brown says:

        Thanks Kris, it’s been just 7 days since my diagnosis and just 5 days since my sister introduced me to Crazy, Sexy Everything! I’m embracing all that I can – I just feel like I’m in a hurry to do it all now. There is so much to learn, courage to stand on and a fun journey ahead. I’ve got this!!! Now if I could just turn down the 5 radio stations that I feel are playing at the same time. There is suddenly a lot to learn and way too many dr appointments,. I know my healing has begun and so I thank you for your courage to be BIG!!

  19. Lynn Hilton says:

    I beieve you recently had a recipe for a good greens smoothie with about 6 items. Could you pls send it to me again. I inadvertenly erased it before I copied it out.


    • kris says:

      Hey Lynn! I share so many recipes so I’m not sure which one you’re referring too. Check out the recipe section of this site. xo!

  20. Katrina says:

    Great observation – courage is a muscle: the heart muscle.
    That gives a new perspective to what confidence might be: somebody else’s brain muscle?
    Good to say they can keep it to serve themselves to their heart’s content! (Is it content? Well it’s certainly not self-sufficient; it keeps trying to encroach on your instincts.)

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