Kris Carr

Kris Carr

Emotional Health

Forget Confidence, Choose Courage (video)

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Hiya Gorgeous!

Starting when we’re very young, we’re told to be confident.

From first days of school to first dates, big tests to big meetings, we’re encouraged to be confident, get confident, act confident—no matter what.

But where’s all this confidence supposed to come from? We’re told to be confident, but not how. We have to figure it out on our own. I know I’ve spent years building those tools, and I’m sure you can relate!

Of course, it’s human nature to crave certainty. There’s something incredibly comforting about knowing the outcome—about being sure. We often seek confidence because it makes us feel like we can go into new, scary or unknown situations with less doubt.

But what if we’re actually focusing on the wrong thing?

I’ve learned over the years that very few things in life are certain.

When I was diagnosed with incurable Stage IV cancer, I wasn’t confident I’d live more than another 10 years. Any of the certainty I had about where my life was headed disappeared. So I stopped seeking confidence (and looking back, I’m so glad I did!). I had to find another way to move forward and take the chances necessary to improve my health.

Maybe you’ve also been faced with a decision or opportunity that had the potential to impact your life in a big way. And I bet that no matter how much thinking you did, how many pro/con lists you wrote and how much advice you got from trusted confidants, you eventually had to take the first step without being 100% sure of the outcome. Well, while you may not have realized it at the time, something deep in your bones helped you put one foot in front of the other.

It was courage, not confidence.

That’s what drove me to start taking better care of myself after my diagnosis and why more than a decade later, my life is more connected and magical than ever before. And guess what? It’s also the secret force that helps you make decisions and keep moving, even in times of fear and uncertainty.

And get this—when you consciously choose courage, incredible things start to happen. That’s exactly what my new video is all about. Press play below!


Here’s what I hope you’ll remember: If you choose courage, life will open up for you.

You’ll find it in you to make the changes you’ve been waiting for—to take the first step toward the better, healthier life you deserve. It’s all possible, so let your imagination run wild, sweetheart!

And special shout-out to my friend Dani Shapiro for informing and inspiring this awesome conversation!

Your turn: Ok, this may seem cheesy, but can we do a pinky swear? The next time you want to hold yourself back because you don’t feel confident enough, will you choose courage and take the leap? Give me a big YES in the comments below.

Peace and courage,

Add a comment
  1. Jessica says:

    YES! Thank you for your great energy and vibe. Namaste!!

  2. Mary says:

    I like the part where you say that no one knows what they are doing! 🙂 could you expand more on that?

  3. Helen Bantis Papadina says:

    YES! You really got me thinking, this morning, Kris. Courage. Not confidence. I plan to share your message with my children. You are so right. It seems that when we are little, anything goes, but self doubt starts to creep in as we age. As a parent, I am always thinking of ways to build confidence in my children. I am going to start focusing more on encouraging them to be courageous. And, I am going to remember our pinky swear too. Watching you speak as I sipped my morning lemon water truly made my day. You are a ray of sunshine. Thank you for making this world a better place. xo

  4. Natasha says:

    Yes! Really love this! Getting ready to start a new venture and have been hesitant to take the leap. Open my inbox email from you, and I receive this Lovely message! Thank you❤️

  5. Victoria says:

    Yes! Yes ! Yes ! Fantastic. Sometimes you don’t want to do it but when you do the next time is easier. Thank you Kris.

  6. Gina Loeb-Flanders says:

    Love it! Confidence…hmmm…seems like something everyone else has, but not me! However, courage…that, I can do!
    Thanks for sharing this new angle with which to approach my life! I’m on it!

  7. Kate says:

    Hello Kris!

    What is the difference between ` brave ` and courage in your opinion? And where does having confidence come in, if at all.

    Thank you!

  8. Nancy says:

    Yes I will!

  9. Michelle says:

    YES , YES, YES

  10. MKK says:

    Kris I love how you come from your heart and share the simple secrets for making our lives better. Thank you.

  11. Janice says:

    WOW! (As I nervously stand up to say this-dry throat and very nervous, btw)
    Yes! I Pinky-Swear. Between you, Joshua R and Marie Forleo I should have this! Courage, courage.

    • Terry Breheny says:

      God Bless you, Kris. Thank you so much for that talk. What wonderful advice. I will act with courage. The part about how we acted when we were learning when we were very young, and just going forward, really resonated with me.
      You’re the best!

    • kris says:

      Nothing wrong with nervous, Janice! Go you! xo, kc

  12. Linda Menard says:

    Thank you again for the CLARITY…..Courage breeds Confidence….whoda thought?

  13. Lea Whitney says:

    YES. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I have been struggling with this exact issue lately and last week a trusted friend told me I was a courageous woman and how special that quality was. That sure was a boost to my self-confidence! I am finally seeing value in actions and decisions that have been leading me into a depressive thought pattern lately. This is a constructive way to view myself, instead of feeling that I was making poor choices or mistakes.

    • kris says:

      Wow, Lea—I’m so glad your friend let you know how amazing you are. There’s a lot of wisdom in your words—isn’t it incredible how a shift in perspective can change the way we experience the world? Thank you for sharing and big hugs! xo, kc

  14. Rebecca says:

    Yes! Thank you, Kris! I’ve never really considered myself confident, but I do believe I have courage. Years ago, I lost my ability to speak because of fear and emotional trauma. I continue to heal today. Sometimes, I still don’t like the way my voice sounds and it can be difficult and humiliating to talk. But I’m not giving up! You are a gift to this world, Kris!

    • kris says:

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Rebecca. That sounds like a tough situation, but I’m glad to hear you’re giving yourself the time and space you need to heal. Sending you lots of love! xo, kc

      • Rebecca says:

        You’ve inspired me more than you know, Kris. I have your books, meditations, and love note cards. Thank you with all my heart! Lots of love to you, too!

  15. Kristina says:

    Love you Kris! It is so inpiring what do you say! I have lately decided to organise my first ever wellness workshop at my home town and feel empowered ever since I went out and started to let people know about my event! Of course I feel also equally afraid that I do not know enough, and what happens if I do not know every reply to questions that I might get but… what do I have to loose? I’ll be anyway richer by an experience!

    • kris says:

      Congrats, Kristina! Good luck with your workshop and trust that you know enough. You’re going to be great. I find that most people need help with the basics. Less with the advance stuff. Sending you love and good vibes for an awesome workshop. xo!

  16. Sandy says:

    Never thought of courage before in that way.
    Great point

  17. Edite says:

    YES I choose courage!

  18. Katerina says:

    You know, the first time I watched this video something told me that it was, well, not for me. But I kept a mental note of it, and one day later, here I am, playing it over and over again. What you are saying is so true. So, pinky promise!

  19. Thanks Kris, this is completely a new discovery to me as I’ve never thought of courage instead of confident but I cannot agree more with you. It’s really meaningful. Thanks so much!!

  20. Lisa Thurston says:

    Thank you Kris and Dani. I have never thought about confidence in that way before. You have made me see it in a different light. I will remember this the next time I am afraid to try something new.

  21. Yes! I posted a blog tonight that I was hesitant about because it wasn’t all flowers and sunshine. Sometimes you have to say it like your not coming back, and probably won’t be invited!

    • kris says:

      I bet people really resonated with it. We’re definitely not always looking for flowers and sunshine. Truth and vulnerability is often what we need to hear / read, most. Good for you, Karen. xo!

  22. manon says:

    I agree about courage.
    I always lacked self confidence, but I will try being courageous to take the first step.
    I did show courage in my life, and it was messy, not perfect, but real.
    thank you for this advice to go for courage instead of self confidence.

  23. Aurora Kilai says:

    Kris, I love how courageous you are to maintain an open heart with everything you say and do. You are an inspiration to us all! Abundant blessings shower you always in all ways!

  24. Pippa Dooney says:

    Nice one Kris! I have been thinking I need confidence but yes, courage is closer to the bone. It acknowledges and accepts our fear and uncertainty. Confidence develops rather than it being something we are supposed to feel when we don’t,! I am going to show this video to my 14 year old daughter who lacks confidence but despite that shows courage. Often. Good for her to recognise that. Xxxx

    • kris says:

      You are SO right, Pippa. We can build confidence, but we shouldn’t put the pressure on ourselves to make it appear out of thin air! So glad this resonated you and that you’ll share with your daughter. Sending love to both of you! xo, kc

  25. Lisa says:

    YES! It takes courage to build confidence. Thank you for always choosing courage and sharing your story. You are a constant source of inspiration.

  26. Naureen says:

    Dear Kris,

    Thank you so much for this. I saw this email at a moment when I was feeling quite unconfident at work thinking I couldn’t handle a project at work and wanting to summon my confidence somehow! It is so relieving to read that a lot of people feel unconfident and courage lets you get off your tush and get things done! thank you Kris. Sending you love!

  27. Maureen says:

    nK, I Pinky Swear with you to do this more often. Thank you, Kris. Much Appreciation, Love, Health and Many Blessings to you ~ Namaste!

  28. Leah Kotkes says:

    Kris, you are a life tonic. I just love what you give me whenever I listen to you. I admire your work and learn from you every time. Thank you sincerely, and may you receive continual blessings to inspire and give to others as well as yourself and your own family.

  29. Charlie Porter says:

    I want to strengthen and loosen my hip flexors. My abdomen is strong but is too tight and my hips unflexible.
    My weight is fine, I’m 6’1″ 155lbs and a lonmg distance runner hitting 30 -50 miles a week. I also am 66 years old. My objective is to balance my core muscles- gluts and abs very strong but often tight restricting my diaphragm when exercising. I can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s stress.??

  30. Mandy Saile says:

    Kris, I just love your smiling face and upbeat attitude, your not just inspiring but your uplifting too, thank you SO much for that XO and yes I pinky swear to exercise my courage muscle (with my art) way way more starting now:D wohoot whoooo:D

  31. Thanks, Kris, for yet another insightful nugget. When I’ve gone ahead and agreed to do something I may have some fear around, I use a little Kava Kava to help me through it. It numbs the nerves in a very subtle way and doesn’t leave my adrenals feeling spent afterwards. This could apply to a live talk/presentation, a big group event or any high stress situation that you WANT to do, but it’s a little scary too. I know that pills and supplements shouldn’t be our go-to quick fix. I use it rarely and sparingly, one capsule per event.

  32. Natalie says:


  33. Katrina says:

    Great observation – courage is a muscle: the heart muscle.
    That gives a new perspective to what confidence might be: somebody else’s brain muscle?
    Good to say they can keep it to serve themselves to their heart’s content! (Is it content? Well it’s certainly not self-sufficient; it keeps trying to encroach on your instincts.)

  34. Lynn Hilton says:

    I beieve you recently had a recipe for a good greens smoothie with about 6 items. Could you pls send it to me again. I inadvertenly erased it before I copied it out.


    • kris says:

      Hey Lynn! I share so many recipes so I’m not sure which one you’re referring too. Check out the recipe section of this site. xo!

  35. Sherry Brown says:

    It’s so powerful to know that I can finally STOP trying to wear the confident roll 24/7 ( how fake I’ve been to myself ). Today I pinky swear that I’m going reach into my tool box for real courage. The courage I KNOW I HAVE! What a fantastic message and I’m a big YES!

    • kris says:

      It can be so freeing to release the feeling that we need to be confident. So happy to hear that you’re choosing courage, Sherry! xo, kc

      • Sherry Brown says:

        Thanks Kris, it’s been just 7 days since my diagnosis and just 5 days since my sister introduced me to Crazy, Sexy Everything! I’m embracing all that I can – I just feel like I’m in a hurry to do it all now. There is so much to learn, courage to stand on and a fun journey ahead. I’ve got this!!! Now if I could just turn down the 5 radio stations that I feel are playing at the same time. There is suddenly a lot to learn and way too many dr appointments,. I know my healing has begun and so I thank you for your courage to be BIG!!

  36. Jessica Skarin says:

    I promise:-)!

  37. Marie Meyer says:

    Big bad ass YES!! Wow Kris, you always seem to show up when I’m in desperate need. Thanks you so much for your wonderful courage.

  38. Susan says:

    Yes! Thank you Kris! <3

  39. Penni says:

    YES YES YES! I struggle with confidence and end up with the anxiety shakes, the sweats, etc. I love this approach and will be using it going forward. Thank you as always you bring such amazing things into the lives of your followers, thank you for making a difference ?

    • kris says:

      Thanks for your comment, Penni! I hope this brings you some relief (I know it has for me!). Sending you lots of love! xo, kc

  40. Michel Vaillancourt says:

    Dear Kris
    Beautiful as always, your attitude and words are very inspiring to accept ourselves as we are and to allow challenge to be part of our natural discovery in life. We need to let go of our stereo type way of thinking to allow our heart to have its rightful place and expression in every moment. Thank you for being an model of beauty, grace and love in my life. Much love to you dear friend.

  41. Natalie says:

    I am just starting a new project in my home country where I have never worked and I am responsible to lead it. I have been so nervous if I will be able to do a good job. I got up this morning with a back pain telling my husband how I am stressed about it and I don’t feel confident and I don’t even feel rested after 8 hours of sleep. Then your email appeared in my inbox and the timing couldn’t be better. That is exactly what I needed to hear and I really like the explanation. It is hard to be confident until you have done something and know you can do it. However if we focus on work and putting ourselves out there to do the work and doing our best, that will give us strength to do the job and ultimately confidence. Thanks Kris!

    • kris says:

      I’m so glad this came at the right time for you, Natalie. It sounds like you’ve got a great mindset going into your project—sending you lots of hugs and positive vibes! xo, lc

  42. Alice says:

    I am really enjoying your videos. I also love your books, thank you for sharing this.

  43. Cheryl says:

    Hello Kris,
    Good timing. I just found out my ovarian cancer is back a year after my treatments ended. I am now trying to decide what to do-chemo or alternative options. Either one is scary, and there is a part of me that does not want to disappoint my loved ones. I will pray to have courage in whichever direction I go. Do you ever talk directly to people?

    • kris says:

      Hey Cheryl! Perhaps it’s not an either or decision. I’m not sure if you’re happy with your current oncologist etc, but you may want to consider a second opinion to learn if there are other traditional options available. Also, I encourage you to work with an integrative MD / oncologist as well. A great doctor for you to check out is Keith Block, MD. His book Life Over Cancer is a game-changer. Also, Anticancer Living by Lorenzo Cohen and Alison Jeffries is amazing. Without a doubt, changing your diet, lifestyle (stress reduction etc) can vastly improve your healing. Thinking of you and sending all move love! xo, kc

  44. Christina says:

    I love that, Kris! It’s so true, yet I never thought about it this way. The part “No-one knows what they’re doing” made me laugh with teary eyes. So true. We’re all adventurous children trying to find our way, right? But, yes, the best things are often born from so-called mistakes, like a lot of the big (and smaller) inventions. Thank you for all you do! ❤️

  45. Barb says:

    Thank you that little video was just what I needed to boost my confidence. ?

  46. Melissa says:

    YES!!!! Hehehe I was reading about courage today 😉 Such perfect timing! Thank you Kris for such a powerful message xx

  47. Deborah says:


  48. Sheila Hardwick says:

    Thank-you Kris, my courage comes from the Serenity prayer which asks for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference. i used to think the last part was impossible but i have learned that it is actually very simple. I can only change myself (and yes, that does take courage), but I know that I only have to go step-by-step, second-by-second, doing what seems to be right. Although I have to accept what others do, I do have the power of choice as to how i will do this (hopefully with serenity), because I believe that discharging my responsibilities to the best of my ability and leaving the ultimate outcomes to a Higher Power, is the best way to serve the Universe.

    • kris says:

      Thanks for sharing, Sheila! Learning to accept the things we can’t change is so important. Glad to hear you’re dedicating your focus (and courage!) to the things you can. xo, kc

  49. Astrid Tomac says:

    Thanks for this Kriss. Just preparing for a big presentation at work, and don’t feel confident about it at all. However, I know I am courageous enough so after listening to your video I feel I will be OK.

    • kris says:

      So happy to hear this resonated with you at the right time, Astrid! Sending you lots of love for your big presentation. xo, kc

  50. Mary Jane says:

    Yes! I’m going to remember my pinky swear today! Thank you!

  51. Anne Paulson says:

    Thanks for this video—-I never really thought about the difference between confidence and courage! Now if I could only be more courageous! Your videos are some of the best in the business; I’m grateful for your willingness to share your life and experience.

    • kris says:

      You are courageous, Anne! It might not always feel that way (I know what that’s like, too), but courage is part of who you are. I’ve also found that when I actively choose courage, it has a way of showing up. 🙂 xo, kc

  52. Jess says:

    Yes! I love this. And all of your other videos too! Along with everything else on the website. ☺️ I visit everyday for inspiration, encouragement and a daily boost! ?

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