Emotional Health

How to Transform Tragedy Into Change

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Dearest Friends,

Like many of you, I’ve been watching the tragic events that have unfolded in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas and around the world, and my initial impulse is to feel helpless and hopeless.

In times like these, we want change and we want it now. We want leaders and people with voices to do something.

Sadly, we’ve also seen these moments come and go. A tragedy takes place and it saturates the news (who often exploit it for ratings). Basically, there’s a swell of interest and outrage but often nothing happens. Then it quickly dies down, and it’s back to the same problems and lack of solutions.

It’s soul-crushing.

So what do we do? Well, I certainly don’t have the answers, but a few thoughts come to mind and I’m going to challenge myself to share them. Now, I know some of you may not give two craps what I think, and I completely respect that. You want healthy recipes and wellness tips. You want to feel uplifted and you gravitate to me for that.

So this is a risk, and I ask you to respect that it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even for me.

Therefore, if I offend you, I’m sorry. But if I make you think, I’m not. It’s because I love our world that I’m taking the time to write this. And as always, I welcome your thoughtful comments because my readers are brilliant.

First, each and every one of us has a voice. And each and every one of us has work to do. If we have anger in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have judgement in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have prejudice in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we think we’re better or less than someone else, it’s time to shift that thinking. And if we think we have all the answers, think again.

Rest assured, I’m putting myself through the same paces. I’m also asking myself questions like: What fears do I need to face? And what actions do I need to take to help transform myself and my community? One that comes to mind is to vote—at both the national and local level. Folks worked very hard for our right to have our voices heard. Make sure to exercise that right. 

I invite you to seriously examine these ideas and questions.

And I’m sure you’ve got a list of your own. Because while prayers and condolences are spiritually essential, they’re not enough. I’m tired of just praying (though I won’t stop). And I’m really tired of how polarizing honest and necessary conversations have become.

This is truly hard for me to admit, but for the first time in my life I find myself writing people off because of their political and social beliefs. I silently say to myself, “Oh, you think that way? Well, you’re wrong, I’m right, and we’re done.” That’s the last thing I should ever say to myself.

Those thoughts are the seeds that sow isolation, separateness and strife. Clearly, I have more work to do on myself.

We find ourselves in extremely divisive times and you and I are being called to put our best selves forward. It’s going to take an entire societal shift to raise our consciousness, heal our past and strengthen our future—a future in which unity is a sacred value. But if we want that unity, we’ve got to address some major issues blocking our path to freedom.

We need to talk about and take action on racism.

It’s real. And while I never use cancer as a metaphor (because I live it), racism is our nation’s cancer, and it’s destroying people.

We need to talk about and take action on sexism.

Women are not property or second class citizens to control, exploit or manipulate. If we wouldn’t treat a man a certain way, we best not treat a woman that way either.

We need to talk about and take action on bigotry—to see past labels of every kind and into the soul of each person.

Love is love, and we sure need more of it in the world.

We need to talk about and take action on violence.

By any sane standard, we’ve got a problem. Yet working toward solutions has become impossible because all sides of the argument are so deeply entrenched. Isn’t it time we have the courage to tackle complex issues in a holistic way? When any of our dear sisters and brothers are hurting, we’re all hurting. How many more people must die before we do something? Even if doing something means compromise.

Lastly, the energy we bring to this world matters.

And when I refer to this world, I include online comments because we are either contributing to the healing and harmony of the planet or we’re stoking the fires of violence and oppression. Don’t be a troll. Let’s voice our opinions in a way that make people think, rather than spewing bile and hiding behind Facebook. What we say and how we say it matters. And if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all. This isn’t about political correctness, it’s about human decency.

Also, by no means is this the full list of what our society is facing, these are just the topics on my mind as I sit here and try to make sense of recent events.

So, while we’re waiting for politicians, celebrities, activists and organizers to do something, let’s also remember our role. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Be good and respectful to yourself and others during these trying times. Reflect on your own thoughts, actions and blind spots, and I will do the same.

You are wonderful.

Peace,

Add a comment
  1. LiLi says:

    Thank you so much dear Kris. You started very eloquently what I’ve been thinking for a while now. Honestly, I’m tired of the fighting and hate, yet it’s hard to create a world of love.

  2. andrea hendron says:

    Thank you not much more to say, I agree with you. I’m shifting as fast as I can. Love ya

  3. Erika says:

    Thank you Kris, this has been a serious topic of conversation for all of us. Agreed that the hiding behind terrible trolling comments has to be dissolved by us all, and to send love, instead of spreading the opposite. We should spew love, and acceptance, because what happens out there, is a reflection of what happens here. Thank you for your bravery in tackling this controversial topic. Neither you nor I, are better than any other spiritual beings, living this human experience.

  4. Anita French says:

    Thank you. Asking myself the same questions and trying to respond with love. Thanks, Kris. :’)

  5. Thank you, Kris. I needed to hear your words today 🙂

  6. Clare says:

    Amen to all of that Kris!

  7. Amanda says:

    Thank you so much. I had been hoping for a long time that you might write a piece like this, in that special way that only you can. This is everything we needed from you today. <3

  8. Eileen says:

    The new JLo and Lin-Manuel Miranda song, “Love Make The World Go Round” is a great anthem for each one of us right now and always! It’s time to wake up! Thanks for your boldness in sharing your heart on these important matters. I’m grateful that you did!

  9. Chris says:

    Brilliant! I started on the same path over the last week. I watched an interesting TedTalk on unconscious bias. Find it here: https://www.ted.com/talks/julia_galef_why_you_think_you_re_right_even_if_you_re_wrong. It’s a great reminder that our mind is a powerful tool and it’s just that …. A tool. We have to consciously make the effort to listen to others. We need to take a stand against polarization and open our hearts and minds for more understanding and less rhetoric. We need to celebrate our differences!

  10. berkeleybaby says:

    Thank you Kris. There seems so often to be such a big gap between practices of self care and engagement with the world. This is such a good start on how to close that gap, and how to think of those as connected practices.
    xoxo

  11. Stephanie says:

    Very well said, Kris! I appreciate your thoughts because they are so true. We need to step up and take responsibility for the change we want to see. I came across a post from the police captain of Dallas who said they are hiring! Wow, I appreciate him saying that…there are so many ways we can make a change in this world. You can either participate physically, or do some internal work if that is needed.

  12. anne says:

    nicely done. thanks for sharing this, and putting yourself “out there”.

  13. Angie says:

    Kris, I feel you hit the nail on the head with this writing! I know in my heart that there are more good humans than bad; it’s just that the bad ones get all the press! Thank you so much for spreading the good word.

  14. Caroline says:

    Thank you for this, I totally agree!

  15. joey says:

    love you Kris, and thank you for being there for all of us.

  16. Michelle says:

    Thank you.

  17. Angelique says:

    “Because while prayers and condolences are spiritually essential, they’re not enough. I’m tired of just praying (though I won’t stop).”
    Amen, Kris!

  18. Christina says:

    Thank you for taking the the time to write this Kris. All of us can always do a little more, a little better to be part of the shift in the right direction. <3 ((hugs)) from one of your Canadian friends x

  19. Debbie R says:

    I love and appreciate you and your courage to take a step out of your comfort zone. It’s something we all need to do. I wish I had the answer to it all, but I don’t. The one thing I DO KNOW, came as a reminder from the universe through a movie this weekend – Evan Almighty. I have seen it several times and enjoyed it, but this time was different. It was the first time I watched it after being on my spiritual journey. There were a few parts that really hit me. One was where “God” said to Evan’s wife: “When you ask for something, is it God’s gift to just give it to you, or is the gift in presenting an opportunity and journey to get it?” . Then at the end Evan asked why God chose him as his messenger and God said,

    “You said you wanted to change the world. You know how you change the world? …One act of random kindness.”

    Let’s start there. If we all start small as a tiny pebble thrown in the ocean, we can make a big wave of change. Peace, love and narwhals to you all.

  20. Dena Shelton says:

    Thank you for addressing the elephant in the room! I know it was a risk for you to talk about this, but it can’t be ignored. Even though it’s not really a part of your normal soul-filled world, it is a huge part of our world, and I for one am glad to hear your loving perspective on all of the hatred and violence coming from everywhere else!!! I would love to place my vote with someone who is going to bring us peace and love, but unfortunately, our current candidates aren’t providing that. Kris for President 🙂

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