Kris Carr

Emotional Health

How to Transform Tragedy Into Change

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Dearest Friends,

Like many of you, I’ve been watching the tragic events that have unfolded in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas and around the world, and my initial impulse is to feel helpless and hopeless.

In times like these, we want change and we want it now. We want leaders and people with voices to do something.

Sadly, we’ve also seen these moments come and go. A tragedy takes place and it saturates the news (who often exploit it for ratings). Basically, there’s a swell of interest and outrage but often nothing happens. Then it quickly dies down, and it’s back to the same problems and lack of solutions.

It’s soul-crushing.

So what do we do? Well, I certainly don’t have the answers, but a few thoughts come to mind and I’m going to challenge myself to share them. Now, I know some of you may not give two craps what I think, and I completely respect that. You want healthy recipes and wellness tips. You want to feel uplifted and you gravitate to me for that.

So this is a risk, and I ask you to respect that it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even for me.

Therefore, if I offend you, I’m sorry. But if I make you think, I’m not. It’s because I love our world that I’m taking the time to write this. And as always, I welcome your thoughtful comments because my readers are brilliant.

First, each and every one of us has a voice. And each and every one of us has work to do. If we have anger in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have judgement in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have prejudice in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we think we’re better or less than someone else, it’s time to shift that thinking. And if we think we have all the answers, think again.

Rest assured, I’m putting myself through the same paces. I’m also asking myself questions like: What fears do I need to face? And what actions do I need to take to help transform myself and my community? One that comes to mind is to vote—at both the national and local level. Folks worked very hard for our right to have our voices heard. Make sure to exercise that right. 

I invite you to seriously examine these ideas and questions.

And I’m sure you’ve got a list of your own. Because while prayers and condolences are spiritually essential, they’re not enough. I’m tired of just praying (though I won’t stop). And I’m really tired of how polarizing honest and necessary conversations have become.

This is truly hard for me to admit, but for the first time in my life I find myself writing people off because of their political and social beliefs. I silently say to myself, “Oh, you think that way? Well, you’re wrong, I’m right, and we’re done.” That’s the last thing I should ever say to myself.

Those thoughts are the seeds that sow isolation, separateness and strife. Clearly, I have more work to do on myself.

We find ourselves in extremely divisive times and you and I are being called to put our best selves forward. It’s going to take an entire societal shift to raise our consciousness, heal our past and strengthen our future—a future in which unity is a sacred value. But if we want that unity, we’ve got to address some major issues blocking our path to freedom.

We need to talk about and take action on racism.

It’s real. And while I never use cancer as a metaphor (because I live it), racism is our nation’s cancer, and it’s destroying people.

We need to talk about and take action on sexism.

Women are not property or second class citizens to control, exploit or manipulate. If we wouldn’t treat a man a certain way, we best not treat a woman that way either.

We need to talk about and take action on bigotry—to see past labels of every kind and into the soul of each person.

Love is love, and we sure need more of it in the world.

We need to talk about and take action on violence.

By any sane standard, we’ve got a problem. Yet working toward solutions has become impossible because all sides of the argument are so deeply entrenched. Isn’t it time we have the courage to tackle complex issues in a holistic way? When any of our dear sisters and brothers are hurting, we’re all hurting. How many more people must die before we do something? Even if doing something means compromise.

Lastly, the energy we bring to this world matters.

And when I refer to this world, I include online comments because we are either contributing to the healing and harmony of the planet or we’re stoking the fires of violence and oppression. Don’t be a troll. Let’s voice our opinions in a way that make people think, rather than spewing bile and hiding behind Facebook. What we say and how we say it matters. And if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all. This isn’t about political correctness, it’s about human decency.

Also, by no means is this the full list of what our society is facing, these are just the topics on my mind as I sit here and try to make sense of recent events.

So, while we’re waiting for politicians, celebrities, activists and organizers to do something, let’s also remember our role. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Be good and respectful to yourself and others during these trying times. Reflect on your own thoughts, actions and blind spots, and I will do the same.

You are wonderful.

Peace,

Add a comment
  1. Heather Klemm says:

    Your words were a recipe for out souls. Thank you for sharing. I give three craps about what you have to say. 🙂

  2. Liv says:

    Thank you, Kris – I totally agree with you and I really appreciate that you took the time and effort to write down and share your thoughts on what’s going on in the world right now and really, what’s been going on for so long. I, too am feeling quite helpness and was just earlier thinking that there’s “nothing” I can do. Then I read what you had to say and was reminded that there’s plenty I can do: I can try to heal myself starting with my thoughts and question every time they’re not in line with who I want to be: a compassionate and kind person. I cannot expect the world to heal until I have at least tried to heal myself, which is hard enough. “Be the change…” Thanks again – Much love and warm hugs, Liv~

  3. Liz says:

    Thank you for using your voice. I’ve never been more proud of following you and your beautiful blog.

  4. Wendy says:

    Thanks so much for taking the risk and writing about this. I might even take the risk and do the same!

  5. MJ says:

    You are wonderful!!

  6. Joan says:

    Well said Kris – love this! 🙂

  7. Nicole Fuller says:

    Beautiful words you wrote, thank you for sharing! Lets start the movement to heal our world with love and understanding and not only to be real with others but ourselves as well.
    xoxo
    Nicole

  8. Diana says:

    You said it all….and beautifully. Thanks, Kris.

  9. Bettina says:

    Dear Kris, everything you say is true (especially important: make use of our right to vote and, even more important, become experts in the subject we’re voting for, that is, let’s vote responsibly). However, I think we should try to change things to the better where we are able to do so: within ourselves, with our family and friends, our neighbours, our communities – the place where I live or work, the sometimes quarrulous choir where I sing, the school my child goes to. Many of us have a specific issue, being a chronic cancer patient, mine is a health issue. Having learned so much, having received so much, being so happy as I am today, I starteted my “Courageous Patient”-project with a little book, a website including a blog and accounts on Twitter and Facebook a year ago. Beside my job as a public relations officer at a public broadcasting station in Germany, beside my little family and my “health programme”, I held a seminar for patients, initiated articles in newspapers, have been invited for talks – fighting for a holistic healing approach, encouraging patients to take their heart into their hands and courageously seek their own path to health and a better life (with you, Kris, as a fabulous role model, of course!). You could say, Bettina is on her own, she won’t change anything. Actually, with regard to the feedback I get, it seems I can make a tiny difference … Now add up all these different aspects (including everyday things like sensible driving on the motorway), and then remember the famous Gandhi saying: “Be the change you want to see in the world”. And the world will change.

  10. Susan says:

    With love and gratitude, so true, Kris. Beautifully said. Thank you for this and all of your wisdom. Your suggestions, especially for online respect are a must in today’s world.

  11. Mindy says:

    Well said Kris! Thanks for having the courage to post this.

  12. Stephanie says:

    Well said…Inspiring. Thank you!

  13. Charlene says:

    First, never apologize for putting yourself out there. You have permission to be vulnerable, too. Thank you for your heartfelt response and thoughtful approach to a very difficult problem.

  14. Kathy Catlin says:

    Have I ever told you that I love you? Because I do… and I respect you…and like you too!

  15. Awesome Kris! As I watched Brian Williams, the ER surgeon in Dallas being interviewed last night, the thought that came to me is it starts with me. This is all so overwhelming that we become paralyzed and nothing changes. But if we each start by focusing on ourselves and how we can do our part to end the hatred, division, and anger, it will change! We are more powerful than we think. Keep praying and start doing.

  16. Mary Davis says:

    We gravitate to you, Kris, for recipes and to feel uplifted, but we stay with you because you also offer depth and soul. Thank you for helping us to put words on this. I am better for them. xo

  17. Stephanie says:

    I am almost back to being my healthy, balanced, motivated self, thanks in no small part to You Kris, your kind insights and practical advice helped subtly but profoundly change me. You better believe now that I’m well I am going to be a gentle warrior for positive change, inwardly and outwardly. I spent years trying to regain my health, i fought fights on moral issues that cost me more than I could spare (often quite ineffectually because they were partially fueled by fear and anger) so I think that it’s more than OK to opt out for a time but ultimately we have to educate ourselves and, if we are able, we have to make a difference. Ignoring these alarming symptoms in our ailing societies is the same as ignoring them in ourselves, we do so at our great peril.

  18. Cindy Rackow says:

    Kris…so beautifully stated. I agree and am glad you wrote this. xo

  19. Elisabeth says:

    Thank you, beautiful Kris, for speaking out about this. ?

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