Emotional Health

How to Transform Tragedy Into Change

read all about it

Dearest Friends,

Like many of you, I’ve been watching the tragic events that have unfolded in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas and around the world, and my initial impulse is to feel helpless and hopeless.

In times like these, we want change and we want it now. We want leaders and people with voices to do something.

Sadly, we’ve also seen these moments come and go. A tragedy takes place and it saturates the news (who often exploit it for ratings). Basically, there’s a swell of interest and outrage but often nothing happens. Then it quickly dies down, and it’s back to the same problems and lack of solutions.

It’s soul-crushing.

So what do we do? Well, I certainly don’t have the answers, but a few thoughts come to mind and I’m going to challenge myself to share them. Now, I know some of you may not give two craps what I think, and I completely respect that. You want healthy recipes and wellness tips. You want to feel uplifted and you gravitate to me for that.

So this is a risk, and I ask you to respect that it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even for me.

Therefore, if I offend you, I’m sorry. But if I make you think, I’m not. It’s because I love our world that I’m taking the time to write this. And as always, I welcome your thoughtful comments because my readers are brilliant.

First, each and every one of us has a voice. And each and every one of us has work to do. If we have anger in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have judgement in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have prejudice in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we think we’re better or less than someone else, it’s time to shift that thinking. And if we think we have all the answers, think again.

Rest assured, I’m putting myself through the same paces. I’m also asking myself questions like: What fears do I need to face? And what actions do I need to take to help transform myself and my community? One that comes to mind is to vote—at both the national and local level. Folks worked very hard for our right to have our voices heard. Make sure to exercise that right. 

I invite you to seriously examine these ideas and questions.

And I’m sure you’ve got a list of your own. Because while prayers and condolences are spiritually essential, they’re not enough. I’m tired of just praying (though I won’t stop). And I’m really tired of how polarizing honest and necessary conversations have become.

This is truly hard for me to admit, but for the first time in my life I find myself writing people off because of their political and social beliefs. I silently say to myself, “Oh, you think that way? Well, you’re wrong, I’m right, and we’re done.” That’s the last thing I should ever say to myself.

Those thoughts are the seeds that sow isolation, separateness and strife. Clearly, I have more work to do on myself.

We find ourselves in extremely divisive times and you and I are being called to put our best selves forward. It’s going to take an entire societal shift to raise our consciousness, heal our past and strengthen our future—a future in which unity is a sacred value. But if we want that unity, we’ve got to address some major issues blocking our path to freedom.

We need to talk about and take action on racism.

It’s real. And while I never use cancer as a metaphor (because I live it), racism is our nation’s cancer, and it’s destroying people.

We need to talk about and take action on sexism.

Women are not property or second class citizens to control, exploit or manipulate. If we wouldn’t treat a man a certain way, we best not treat a woman that way either.

We need to talk about and take action on bigotry—to see past labels of every kind and into the soul of each person.

Love is love, and we sure need more of it in the world.

We need to talk about and take action on violence.

By any sane standard, we’ve got a problem. Yet working toward solutions has become impossible because all sides of the argument are so deeply entrenched. Isn’t it time we have the courage to tackle complex issues in a holistic way? When any of our dear sisters and brothers are hurting, we’re all hurting. How many more people must die before we do something? Even if doing something means compromise.

Lastly, the energy we bring to this world matters.

And when I refer to this world, I include online comments because we are either contributing to the healing and harmony of the planet or we’re stoking the fires of violence and oppression. Don’t be a troll. Let’s voice our opinions in a way that make people think, rather than spewing bile and hiding behind Facebook. What we say and how we say it matters. And if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all. This isn’t about political correctness, it’s about human decency.

Also, by no means is this the full list of what our society is facing, these are just the topics on my mind as I sit here and try to make sense of recent events.

So, while we’re waiting for politicians, celebrities, activists and organizers to do something, let’s also remember our role. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Be good and respectful to yourself and others during these trying times. Reflect on your own thoughts, actions and blind spots, and I will do the same.

You are wonderful.

Peace,

Add a comment
  1. JoAnn says:

    Each and every one of us needs to love and respect ourselves first and realize that under the skin and the religions and the language and the ethnicity, we are all the same; we are human. We need to get back to our civilized roots and not our caveman roots and realize that it takes love and compassion to move things in the right direction. We are brothers and sisters after all, and that should give us pause before we criticize, condemn or attack another living person.

  2. Jen says:

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  3. Copper Thomas says:

    Thank you for having the courage to post your thoughts. As usual , you seek to bring out the best in us! You are spot on that the solution begins with each and everyone of us exploring our hearts and minds for beliefs that prevent us from loving each other. Our hope lies in reaching across the divide and embracing our connectedness.

  4. Malin says:

    Hi Kris – I have felt the same way like you – women, finance, poverty, gay rights, violence, war, human-trafficking etc etc – we really have to examine ourselves in a gentle and heartfelt way, because it will not be nice. Somewhere we are part of this isolation and segregation – every thought, every little action – no matter how tiny – does saw a seed – my gut feeling is that many things we now feel would be “loosing face” or in any other way inflict with our pride or prestige are exactly those we need to do. It is too easy to just be angry at something or someone and, like you said, just write them off. We all live in this world, no matter spiritual orientation, and we can’t stay in our own little bubbles any more – we need to come together – in so many other ways than we imagined so far… and opened up in so many new ways…

  5. tb sojka says:

    Thank you for your eloquent, honest and heartfelt message, Kris. I agree that we all have a role to play in making our world a kinder, more peaceful place. And it starts with looking inside ourselves and asking the tough questions. Blessings to you.

  6. Sherrie says:

    Well said, Kris. We all must take responsibility for our lives. Stop blaming. Stop the hate and judgments. Brava!

  7. Sue M. says:

    Such a wonderful, eloquent article Kris!! I felt so much comfort in reading what others have posted in response to your article. My heart and soul are uplifted because I do believe there are many, many of us out there who feel as you do. To make the change in the world, may be as simple as a kind word, a kind gesture. To make our world inviting to those who suffer. I, too have work to do on myself. It’s the awareness that makes the difference in how we act and respond to others. Just baby steps…

  8. Debbie says:

    Thank you for you beautiful and thoughtful words. Wise and well said!

  9. Betty says:

    Wonderful! Thank you for acknowledging publicly we have a problem with racism, sexism, bigotry, and violence in our world. I love your logical suggestion of only putting positive, healing comments online and type only things we would say in person. We must learn to live with, and embrace, our differences-not be polarized by them.

  10. Kay Star says:

    Kris, since so many of us look to you for – health advice/encouragement – perhaps the situation that you’ve written so well about, could be put in a – health perspective? – I’m reminded of what Dr. Bernie Siegel, M.D., wrote in his book, “Love, Medicine & Miracles”. Dr. Siegel – “It’s easier to hate, but – healthier – to love”. – Whatever hate, prejudice, etc., is felt toward someone, those – unhealthy feelings – are in the – body – of the person feeling them. It’s like the well known comment about someone drinking poison, and expecting the other person to die. What are the healthy emotions to feel? – Compassion, love. The question everyone needs to consider is, “do we want to be healthy?”, if so, what emotions/feelings are we carrying in our mind, heart, body?

  11. Rinee says:

    Mahalo?
    Live in compassion! Is my action. It is easy to have compassion for those that suffer or have lost. Harder for me to have and show compassion for those who have caused my pain, who are angry and destructive, but yet my souls tells me this is where my compassion is needed most. I need to love and find compassion for those in this world that cause me the most sorrow and pain. Those I so disagree with. I feel my answers and solutions for me lie there. Love thy enemy. I need to think and act deeply from this point of life. It to me is yelling at us to address. Love one another. Love thy enemy.

    • eileen tiexiera says:

      Well said, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your insight and courage. I am passing this along. I am also going to self reflect!
      Peace,
      Eileen

  12. Kris,

    Bless your sweet soul for writing this! I was so broken-hearted about all the violence and bloodshed last week I just had to go to bed for a few days! I wept at my altar and ask for guidance! As unicorn light workers we have to speak up in peace! And it is true that all this hate is the cancer of America!

    There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about you and your journey with Cancer! And how you found the grace to transform it into beauty!
    You inspire me to do the same living with Lyme! I believe these illness experiences keep us digging deep into our well of discernment and peace!

    We are the ones we have been waiting for! And as we look into the regions of our souls we can transform all the judgements, fears and lack of love! It’s daily work! This is our responsibility as human beings!

    You are a great teacher and agent of change, I want to hear what you have to say on thes extremely important matters! You speaking out gives me the courage to do that same! I’ll keep praying too!!

    So much LOVE,
    Amanda Christan

  13. Gabriel says:

    Amen!!!

  14. Susan Graham says:

    Thank you, Kris! I agree with everything you said and am grateful that you are courageous enough to speak out. It always starts with me. When I take inclusion, tolerance and compassion into the world I’m surprised how often I get that reflected back to me. Thank you

  15. Angela says:

    Thank you for challenging me to change my perspective and look for a way to get involved in the healing. Yes, prayers are essential. But action with prayer moves mountains. I appreciate you and all you offer the world. 🙂

  16. Kari says:

    Thank you, Kris. Let us choose to be light and love bringers, to have the tough conversations and to ask the tough questions! We must go forward together. Everyday counts and everyday is a choice. Blessed Be! K???

  17. Dawn Engler says:

    Kris, so many won’t risk anything to speak up or out. You strengthen your tribe when you peel off the moldy layers of the onion. We follow you not only for tasty recipes and health knowledge, but because the message of peace and LOVE eminate from everything you do. We follow you for your positive energy and for the hope you instill in each of us that we can somehow make a difference.
    Lately, I’ve been challenged on all fronts to think deeply about how I judge others and while I thought that I didn’t, well…I am a gay woman living my life with my partner raising 2 boys, 1 who has Autism, and I thought we had all the hate and mid-understanding thrown at us, then I did something that made me sad. I couldn’t believe I shelled out what I feel hit me on an almost daily basis. What an eye-opener. We fall into patterns, whether raised that way or learned, we must take a step back and acknowledge our own faults in order to change them.
    We are sitting on a time-bomb of sorts. Our foes are laughing at how we are imploding, saving them the trouble of defeating us. Now is the time for us the join hands, across our predjudices, and show the world how it can be done. We need folks like you to step out and share your loving messages. We need folks like me to own up to making mistakes and ask for forgiveness. And we need to ask what can we do to help make the change happen.
    Love begets love, hate begets hate. Lets spread more love. Lets lift messages like yours here, higher!
    Thank you Kris, as always, for being you.

  18. jenny says:

    This is so beautiful and heart-felt. It’s hard to talk about these deep-seated, tough issues. But you nailed it — with kindness and compassion! Seems like nowadays the loudest voices (often filled with hatred) always get the attention. But we need to hear more of the gentle, kind voices (like you), and talk to each other like civil human beings. So, thank you sweet Kris and kudos to you for your bravery!!

  19. Kris Adams says:

    Yes!! Thank you for eloquently sharing the call to collectively stand united in more love, rather than hate. This kind of power is the portal to possibility.

  20. Lynn says:

    Well said. I appreciate your perspective Kris. Thank you for taking the risk. Your comments and suggestions really are part of what it takes for true wellness and vibrant health. Our thoughts, and feelings and beliefs can be as toxic as the chemicals we try to avoid and overcome our sometimes necessary exposure to-like in the air we breathe. In the 12 step programs one of the bits of wisdom I heard was …”If I am not the problem there is no solution”. We only have control and power over ourselves so it points us to look within, at ourselves, our lives and to examine the very things you are talking about. To “clean our own house” first and foremost. remove the blocks that prevent unity within and we are far better to create and connect with others to create unity in our families, communities and beyond. I am impatient for change as well. I also recognize I am a work of art in progress and so is the world I live in.

1 2 3 4 5 11

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

KrisCarr.com