Dearest Friends,
Like many of you, I’ve been watching the tragic events that have unfolded in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas and around the world, and my initial impulse is to feel helpless and hopeless.
In times like these, we want change and we want it now. We want leaders and people with voices to do something.
Sadly, we’ve also seen these moments come and go. A tragedy takes place and it saturates the news (who often exploit it for ratings). Basically, there’s a swell of interest and outrage but often nothing happens. Then it quickly dies down, and it’s back to the same problems and lack of solutions.
It’s soul-crushing.
So what do we do? Well, I certainly don’t have the answers, but a few thoughts come to mind and I’m going to challenge myself to share them. Now, I know some of you may not give two craps what I think, and I completely respect that. You want healthy recipes and wellness tips. You want to feel uplifted and you gravitate to me for that.
So this is a risk, and I ask you to respect that it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even for me.
Therefore, if I offend you, I’m sorry. But if I make you think, I’m not. It’s because I love our world that I’m taking the time to write this. And as always, I welcome your thoughtful comments because my readers are brilliant.
First, each and every one of us has a voice. And each and every one of us has work to do. If we have anger in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have judgement in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have prejudice in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we think we’re better or less than someone else, it’s time to shift that thinking. And if we think we have all the answers, think again.
Rest assured, I’m putting myself through the same paces. I’m also asking myself questions like: What fears do I need to face? And what actions do I need to take to help transform myself and my community? One that comes to mind is to vote—at both the national and local level. Folks worked very hard for our right to have our voices heard. Make sure to exercise that right.
I invite you to seriously examine these ideas and questions.
And I’m sure you’ve got a list of your own. Because while prayers and condolences are spiritually essential, they’re not enough. I’m tired of just praying (though I won’t stop). And I’m really tired of how polarizing honest and necessary conversations have become.
This is truly hard for me to admit, but for the first time in my life I find myself writing people off because of their political and social beliefs. I silently say to myself, “Oh, you think that way? Well, you’re wrong, I’m right, and we’re done.” That’s the last thing I should ever say to myself.
Those thoughts are the seeds that sow isolation, separateness and strife. Clearly, I have more work to do on myself.
We find ourselves in extremely divisive times and you and I are being called to put our best selves forward. It’s going to take an entire societal shift to raise our consciousness, heal our past and strengthen our future—a future in which unity is a sacred value. But if we want that unity, we’ve got to address some major issues blocking our path to freedom.
We need to talk about and take action on racism.
It’s real. And while I never use cancer as a metaphor (because I live it), racism is our nation’s cancer, and it’s destroying people.
We need to talk about and take action on sexism.
Women are not property or second class citizens to control, exploit or manipulate. If we wouldn’t treat a man a certain way, we best not treat a woman that way either.
We need to talk about and take action on bigotry—to see past labels of every kind and into the soul of each person.
Love is love, and we sure need more of it in the world.
We need to talk about and take action on violence.
By any sane standard, we’ve got a problem. Yet working toward solutions has become impossible because all sides of the argument are so deeply entrenched. Isn’t it time we have the courage to tackle complex issues in a holistic way? When any of our dear sisters and brothers are hurting, we’re all hurting. How many more people must die before we do something? Even if doing something means compromise.
Lastly, the energy we bring to this world matters.
And when I refer to this world, I include online comments because we are either contributing to the healing and harmony of the planet or we’re stoking the fires of violence and oppression. Don’t be a troll. Let’s voice our opinions in a way that make people think, rather than spewing bile and hiding behind Facebook. What we say and how we say it matters. And if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all. This isn’t about political correctness, it’s about human decency.
Also, by no means is this the full list of what our society is facing, these are just the topics on my mind as I sit here and try to make sense of recent events.
So, while we’re waiting for politicians, celebrities, activists and organizers to do something, let’s also remember our role. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Be good and respectful to yourself and others during these trying times. Reflect on your own thoughts, actions and blind spots, and I will do the same.
You are wonderful.
Peace,
Kris, your questions are more than welcome. Myself and so many outside US are watching in disbelief how, in the name of democracy and freedom of speech, the US is flooded with guns, drugs, pornography and anything that sells. I am watching a whole nation (followed by some in the rest of the world) getting sicker despite the highest buget for healthcare. People need to eat better and grow up with more loving values. The mass media could promote such values. I dont believe that they wouldnt sell – people need better health and more love like we need air.
Guns for the population? No no no.
Love to you and your beautiful community.
Instead of praying for peace (which means we think there is no peace ) we must be peace. We must be what we want to see in the world. There is an awesome website called Heart Math Institute that scientifically shows you how to be that. It talks about heart intelligence. It is also linked to The Global Initiative, which asks you to use your heart math skills and participate in global initiatives. Check it out. Yes we can change the world and it starts with us (me). Cheers!
Thank you for sharing you ideas. I agree it is up to us to raise our own vibration as much as possible each day. When I go out into the world I set the intention to send love and light to everyone I meet with a smile or a compliment. If I can make their day even a little better I raise their vibration. As more of us live in a higher vibration the world is changing. When I see someone who has road rage, for instance I do my best not to judge them but rather offer compassion and kindness with my energy. I believe love, kindness and compassion is the way we heal the world. It starts with each one of us.
Hey treasures and Brave hearts, it starts at home, with our own families, our friends, with our neighbours, with that person at work, the staff at the store, the drive down the road. Be the pebble that makes the ripple…think and say and feel the meaning of namaste and we will all be a ripple meeting around the globe and the tide turns to love and acceptance for all. There are more coming with us everyday. We are strong. Be faithful. I believe x
Beautifully written, Kris. Thank you for your words and inspiration.
Hi Kris. Thank you for expressing your thoughts. While I cannot relate to being discriminated against because of my race or my role in society, or what it feels like to have a loved one murdered because of their differences, I can relate to pain and suffering, and I focus my mind to empathizing at this level and feel such compassion for all the sorrow and broken hearts.
I feel so privileged to feel safe in life, and I’m very aware many people do not live feeling safe…in their home town or when they are in so many other places in the world.
Here are my thoughts, and I’d love to hear how you feel about them because I resonate with your message of thriving in life despite challenges (I understand, not from the perspective of living with a chronic illness, but from the perspective of growing up in a disability-centered household, and then in later years, caring for parents who lived with chronic illness…so much living took place and I learned so much…different conversation!)
My thoughts…I’m painfully aware of the sorrow due to the violence individual people are choosing to inflict on others. I can put my “2 cents” in about “love over fear” however, I’m aware that this isn’t as helpful for so many people who are currently extremely angry – justifiably so, and the question remains – a question that we all ask ourselves in one way or another every day of our lives “What now? What am I going to do?” Given “what is”, what now? THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION BY EACH INDIVIDUAL PERSON IS WHAT WILL HAVE THE GREATEST IMPACT ON OUR WORLD.
The individual people who chose violence as a response – whether subconsciously or consciously – are INDIVIDUALS. What is challenging, because it contributes to states of confusion, is that individual people also live different roles in our society that do have an impact, as well as prejudices that run deep and often people don’t even realize how much their inner beliefs based on a prejudice trigger their actions. However, when we focus on each other’s roles in life or are run by a prejudice above our common humanity, it’s easy to fall into actions based on our judgments of others and how we believe they “should be” versus having compassion for others for who they are and for what is. Each person is “right” in their personal views, which can be debated all day long to no avail.
My instincts tell me that what changes the world and brings people together are actions born from compassion. It cuts out all the confusion about “who’s right” and forms common ground from which to build and focus on solutions.
WE ALL KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE HUMAN. We all know what it feels like to be in pain, sorrow, grief, happiness, sadness, enthusiasm, hopefulness, hopelessness, etc. Knowing this, helps us have more compassion and relate to people in a different way. It helps us stop debating how people “should” be, and see people for who they are – imperfect beings living in this world right here, right now, who are one of us, all together, whether we personally like it or not. This is what it means to “accept what is”.
Anger has its place if it moves us to compassionate action, otherwise, it’s such an extreme lose-lose when anger motivates us to violent action. We all see the devastation this causes. The recent violence in America stirring up all sorts of feelings for people – these murders were done at the hands of a couple of INDIVIDUALS, even though, like I said before, also have roles in our society which impact all of us, i.e. role of “father”, “mother”, “son”, “daughter”, “police officer”, “provider”, “man”, “woman”, “politician”, etc. – which triggers more thoughts of what we expect of these roles and our beliefs of how others “should be”. Then of course the impact on us all of the prejudices that still exist when we see someone who looks different than we’re comfortable with, whether it be the color of their skin or different lifestyle or different behavior, etc. and react based on what we see versus who they really are. Being “reactive” versus “responsive” in life usually hurts us, and the ripple effect hurts others too.
Now, again, the question is, the question always will be for each of us, “What now? What am I going to do?” Which brings me to a suggestion, as a surely inadequate contribution in terms of appeasing all the anger, but a contribution nonetheless. A friendly acquaintance of mine, Chris Orrey, wrote the below post, in part, on her FB page. She is a retired police officer. Her suggestion, which I adopt:
“To my friends who are cops, I urge you to get to know as many black men as you can. Teach your sub-conscious mind not to react to race and gender, but to facts and behavior. To my friends who are black, go on a ride-along with a police officer, preferably a white male police officer. I believe we have far more in common than we do differences. And I believe, as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, that hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.”
EACH OF US CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE simply by examining our belief systems, being as honest as we possibly can about prejudices we hold (that we’ve been taught without our consent by our caregivers and society and experiences), then with each admission of what causes us discomfort, go out with an open mind and heart and get to know someone who triggers us (regardless of why they do), i.e. a police officer, black person, disabled person, teenager, and dare I say an imprisoned murderer – any human being that you notice triggers your mind to immediate judgment and closes your heart. COMPASSION IS KEY. This isn’t about making friends, it’s about opening your mind and heart so YOU can contribute to positive change in the world. Whatever blocks us, closes us off to our potential to effect the kind of change that we’re all screaming out for.
Lastly, and something very important to mention – before making a decision on what you will DO, please spend some focused time on choosing how you want to BE. This REALLY helps strengthen your compassionate mindset from which many great things are born. While we wait for our leaders to do something, we can each do something ourselves…little by little, day by day, hour by hour….choose again and again how you want to be and take action from that place. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” (Quote by Margaret Mead)
There you are, Kris! My thoughts born from my deep care of all human beings and our world. xoxo Lea
Lea, thank you for your powerful words, the thoughtful suggestions for examining our own judgments, and the directive to make whatever individual positive change we can, which will eventually affect the healing of the whole. I am grateful for your heart and your eloquence. Namaste, Sarah
And of COURSE, thank you Kris for opening the door to these tough conversations…we look to you as a guide in more things than health and wellness <3 xo
YES!!! You’re very inspirational, Kris, and offer lots of practical help. I’ve referred you to friends of mine – anyone who is getting into eating healthy and holistic practices. I LOVE your recent book as it’s helping me get more fruits into my system…I’d rather eat a cookie than fruit normally 🙂 Lea
Thank you, Sarah, for taking the time to reply. It’s encouraging! I do generally have a positive outlook always thinking in terms of “personal responsibility”. It’s always served me, and I really do believe each individual can affect the world…because of the ripple effect of each of our actions. Thanks again for acknowledging my words. Love always, Lea
Amen sister, very well said!!
YOU are wonderful. You are not just needed for your recipes. We need ALL of your wisdom. So thank you for sharing. Sending love and thanks. Xo
Amen sister! Very well said!
It’s always scary to put yourself “out there”, but we all really do need to face up to today’s challenges with a humble heart.
Everyone, remember to be the change you want to see. Spread love today. Make someone smile. Make a conscious effort to do good and be true.
Thank you for allowing the space for a powerful conversation like this!
Thank you, As always you find he right words. I am writing this from Germany where we face racism on a different level, but probably for similar reasons.
Take care and thank you for putting yourself out there,
Susanne
Brava, Kriss! Beautifully said, and necessary to hear.
These recent events make me think that the only reason these tragedies are occurring is because it has to get worse
before it can get better. But then I think, “how much worse does it have to get?” Haven’t we had enough shootings already to control guns? Do we need yet another series?
I refuse to give up hope though, especially when I know there are people like you spreading the love. Thank you.
Dear Kris,
Thank you for “putting yourself out there”. Your point of view is one coming from wisdom and kindness, of which we need more of in this word.
I will do my part and also continue to pray.
Thank you for being you!
You are wonderful!
Thank you for speaking and stepping up. I had a moment of Grace this week that I wish I could articulate like you. I will just say the humanity and love was palatable. I may not change the world but I can change in any moment my one to one connections. Envisioning a ripple effect as each of us at least make that commitment. Peace and Love to all especially the children.
Thank you for sharing. I completely agree though sometimes i lose my way. This is a helpful reminder of what to cling on to.
Thank you – beautifully put. Love and light to the world
much love and peace Thank you
Yes! I so agree, i’ve had a hard time last week as I felt so angry with everything that’s going on and I’m not personally affected anymore than most people are. If you can’t find your compassion about some of the later events from last week you know you need to do something to change the way you feel in your heart. I went back to doing yoga and immersed myself in my herbal studies which I truly love and brings such peace because that is a much better way to approach all that is going on. I have been starting to clean up my newsfeed on FB, people are entitled to their opinions but if it poisons my mind it’s got to go. I do believe that it is going to get much worse before it (hopefully) is getting better, there is no short term solution, not with how divided the US and most European countries are, not to mention all the terrorist actions around the world. Hopefully we all find a way for ourselves how to cope with this and keep love in our hearts. Namaste
Well said, Kris. You’ve used your voice to help people heal, now use it to help humanity heal. You have the power.
We’re all behind you.