Kris Carr

Emotional Health

How to Transform Tragedy Into Change

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Dearest Friends,

Like many of you, I’ve been watching the tragic events that have unfolded in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas and around the world, and my initial impulse is to feel helpless and hopeless.

In times like these, we want change and we want it now. We want leaders and people with voices to do something.

Sadly, we’ve also seen these moments come and go. A tragedy takes place and it saturates the news (who often exploit it for ratings). Basically, there’s a swell of interest and outrage but often nothing happens. Then it quickly dies down, and it’s back to the same problems and lack of solutions.

It’s soul-crushing.

So what do we do? Well, I certainly don’t have the answers, but a few thoughts come to mind and I’m going to challenge myself to share them. Now, I know some of you may not give two craps what I think, and I completely respect that. You want healthy recipes and wellness tips. You want to feel uplifted and you gravitate to me for that.

So this is a risk, and I ask you to respect that it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even for me.

Therefore, if I offend you, I’m sorry. But if I make you think, I’m not. It’s because I love our world that I’m taking the time to write this. And as always, I welcome your thoughtful comments because my readers are brilliant.

First, each and every one of us has a voice. And each and every one of us has work to do. If we have anger in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have judgement in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have prejudice in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we think we’re better or less than someone else, it’s time to shift that thinking. And if we think we have all the answers, think again.

Rest assured, I’m putting myself through the same paces. I’m also asking myself questions like: What fears do I need to face? And what actions do I need to take to help transform myself and my community? One that comes to mind is to vote—at both the national and local level. Folks worked very hard for our right to have our voices heard. Make sure to exercise that right. 

I invite you to seriously examine these ideas and questions.

And I’m sure you’ve got a list of your own. Because while prayers and condolences are spiritually essential, they’re not enough. I’m tired of just praying (though I won’t stop). And I’m really tired of how polarizing honest and necessary conversations have become.

This is truly hard for me to admit, but for the first time in my life I find myself writing people off because of their political and social beliefs. I silently say to myself, “Oh, you think that way? Well, you’re wrong, I’m right, and we’re done.” That’s the last thing I should ever say to myself.

Those thoughts are the seeds that sow isolation, separateness and strife. Clearly, I have more work to do on myself.

We find ourselves in extremely divisive times and you and I are being called to put our best selves forward. It’s going to take an entire societal shift to raise our consciousness, heal our past and strengthen our future—a future in which unity is a sacred value. But if we want that unity, we’ve got to address some major issues blocking our path to freedom.

We need to talk about and take action on racism.

It’s real. And while I never use cancer as a metaphor (because I live it), racism is our nation’s cancer, and it’s destroying people.

We need to talk about and take action on sexism.

Women are not property or second class citizens to control, exploit or manipulate. If we wouldn’t treat a man a certain way, we best not treat a woman that way either.

We need to talk about and take action on bigotry—to see past labels of every kind and into the soul of each person.

Love is love, and we sure need more of it in the world.

We need to talk about and take action on violence.

By any sane standard, we’ve got a problem. Yet working toward solutions has become impossible because all sides of the argument are so deeply entrenched. Isn’t it time we have the courage to tackle complex issues in a holistic way? When any of our dear sisters and brothers are hurting, we’re all hurting. How many more people must die before we do something? Even if doing something means compromise.

Lastly, the energy we bring to this world matters.

And when I refer to this world, I include online comments because we are either contributing to the healing and harmony of the planet or we’re stoking the fires of violence and oppression. Don’t be a troll. Let’s voice our opinions in a way that make people think, rather than spewing bile and hiding behind Facebook. What we say and how we say it matters. And if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all. This isn’t about political correctness, it’s about human decency.

Also, by no means is this the full list of what our society is facing, these are just the topics on my mind as I sit here and try to make sense of recent events.

So, while we’re waiting for politicians, celebrities, activists and organizers to do something, let’s also remember our role. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Be good and respectful to yourself and others during these trying times. Reflect on your own thoughts, actions and blind spots, and I will do the same.

You are wonderful.

Peace,

Add a comment
  1. Abdulmalik says:

    which womens is give me true love

  2. Stephanie says:

    Kris for President!! You are right, we need so much more love and compassion in this world. Let’s all do our part till it’s infectious

  3. Oh, thank you for this one, Kris. Spreading light, or spreading fear. Spreading love, or hindering hope. It’s a choice, but a conscious one. We must be purposeful in what we do in the world and online, staying true to what feels right in our heart while staying true to the notion that to lessen one is to tie a weight to our own ankles. Love you!

  4. Oh, thank you for this one, Kris. Spreading light, or spreading fear. Spreading love, or hindering hope. It’s a choice, but a conscious one. We must be purposeful in what we do in the world and online, staying true to what feels right in our heart while staying true to the notion that to lessen one is to tie a weight to our own ankles. Love you!

  5. John says:

    Well said. Too often we may go down on our knees and pray for change and then get up and hope that God or someone else will affect the change we prayed for. Faith without works is dead. Time to pray and then get up and go and do. Go out and make a stand to affect the changes that you pray for.

  6. Denise J says:

    Kris – you are so classy! I can totally feel the love pouring out of your words. You inspire me so much, and I wish more people could express their thoughts in such a kind and loving manner. xo

  7. Cathy says:

    Kris, you shine your light brightly and I appreciate it because it reminds me to shine my light brightly too. I really believe that Love is the only answer. I think the real change will come when we each take full responsibility for our part in all of this. We did this. Judgement only creates more separation. We must join together to see through the brutality to the light underneath and forgive everybody and ourselves. Love didn’t do any of this. Fear did this. And fear is something that we all must face within ourselves first so that we can see with different eyes, the eyes of Love.

  8. Raelie says:

    Amazing post. Being french living in France (right now) I’ve been going through the same thing lately, telling colleagues, friends and family to not give in to anger or fear, but to fight back with love and compassion…
    So thank you Kris for your love and kindness.

  9. Natalie says:

    Hi Kris,
    I just had the chance to read How to Transform Tragedy into Change, and I think you are brilliant. We are all confused with the media that is thrown at us and sometimes forget we should begin with love. Thank you for speaking up on such a sensitive subject. You have reminded me to look within and find kindness and stop the anger that is building up in everyone. Anger and accusation are not the answer. XO

  10. Orion says:

    Dear Kris Carr

    I belong to this lay Buddhist organization called Soka Gakkai International (SGI- meaning Value Creating Society) which has million followers.
    Using Nichiren’s Buddhism philosophy the SGI works tirelessly for world peace through each person becoming happy. Daisaku Ikeda the president of the SGI has written many books and a peace proposal to the Untied Nations every year. I follow this philosophy because it gives me away for me to be happy and help others at the same time. Daisaku Ikeda said ” A great human revolution in just a single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation and further, will enable a change in the destiny of all humankind.” It all starts a change within our own hearts to change our environments outside. For peace to exist in this world than people will need to be happy! Check out the SGI website Kris Carr because I think its goes hand in hand with your philosophy it seems and let me know what you think. thanks

  11. Kiara says:

    I love you, Kris. You speak my heart. I believe that we will evolve beyond the current state of chaos and confusion when we learn to look within for the things we most shun “out there” and bring love, consciousness and healing to those qualities. Ho’oponopono is an AMAZING tool for just that. Here’s to embodying the change we want to see in the world.

  12. Kimberly says:

    Beautiful – just what I needed to read today!

  13. Well said Kris !!
    You put yourself out there and challenged us all to examine our hearts and our self talk.
    Thank you , once again , for your courage to make this world a better place.
    ~Anne ~

  14. Constance Rodrigue says:

    Excellent and timely post, thank you. I live in France bu have come to the same conclusion: the problem at bottom is psychological and the only organisations that can heal that are education and family – but we each have the possibility to EXPRESS – not just think – kindness, compassion, willingness to help. Even on the level of smiling at people on the street and in the shops. Simple, but effective.

  15. Barbara says:

    This is a lovely way to remind us that it’s our energy that spreads out in this world. Loving healing energy, as you always share, is the way to make things better.

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