Kris Carr

Emotional Health

How to Transform Tragedy Into Change

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Dearest Friends,

Like many of you, I’ve been watching the tragic events that have unfolded in Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas and around the world, and my initial impulse is to feel helpless and hopeless.

In times like these, we want change and we want it now. We want leaders and people with voices to do something.

Sadly, we’ve also seen these moments come and go. A tragedy takes place and it saturates the news (who often exploit it for ratings). Basically, there’s a swell of interest and outrage but often nothing happens. Then it quickly dies down, and it’s back to the same problems and lack of solutions.

It’s soul-crushing.

So what do we do? Well, I certainly don’t have the answers, but a few thoughts come to mind and I’m going to challenge myself to share them. Now, I know some of you may not give two craps what I think, and I completely respect that. You want healthy recipes and wellness tips. You want to feel uplifted and you gravitate to me for that.

So this is a risk, and I ask you to respect that it’s not easy to put yourself out there, even for me.

Therefore, if I offend you, I’m sorry. But if I make you think, I’m not. It’s because I love our world that I’m taking the time to write this. And as always, I welcome your thoughtful comments because my readers are brilliant.

First, each and every one of us has a voice. And each and every one of us has work to do. If we have anger in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have judgement in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we have prejudice in our hearts, it’s time to look at it and heal it. If we think we’re better or less than someone else, it’s time to shift that thinking. And if we think we have all the answers, think again.

Rest assured, I’m putting myself through the same paces. I’m also asking myself questions like: What fears do I need to face? And what actions do I need to take to help transform myself and my community? One that comes to mind is to vote—at both the national and local level. Folks worked very hard for our right to have our voices heard. Make sure to exercise that right. 

I invite you to seriously examine these ideas and questions.

And I’m sure you’ve got a list of your own. Because while prayers and condolences are spiritually essential, they’re not enough. I’m tired of just praying (though I won’t stop). And I’m really tired of how polarizing honest and necessary conversations have become.

This is truly hard for me to admit, but for the first time in my life I find myself writing people off because of their political and social beliefs. I silently say to myself, “Oh, you think that way? Well, you’re wrong, I’m right, and we’re done.” That’s the last thing I should ever say to myself.

Those thoughts are the seeds that sow isolation, separateness and strife. Clearly, I have more work to do on myself.

We find ourselves in extremely divisive times and you and I are being called to put our best selves forward. It’s going to take an entire societal shift to raise our consciousness, heal our past and strengthen our future—a future in which unity is a sacred value. But if we want that unity, we’ve got to address some major issues blocking our path to freedom.

We need to talk about and take action on racism.

It’s real. And while I never use cancer as a metaphor (because I live it), racism is our nation’s cancer, and it’s destroying people.

We need to talk about and take action on sexism.

Women are not property or second class citizens to control, exploit or manipulate. If we wouldn’t treat a man a certain way, we best not treat a woman that way either.

We need to talk about and take action on bigotry—to see past labels of every kind and into the soul of each person.

Love is love, and we sure need more of it in the world.

We need to talk about and take action on violence.

By any sane standard, we’ve got a problem. Yet working toward solutions has become impossible because all sides of the argument are so deeply entrenched. Isn’t it time we have the courage to tackle complex issues in a holistic way? When any of our dear sisters and brothers are hurting, we’re all hurting. How many more people must die before we do something? Even if doing something means compromise.

Lastly, the energy we bring to this world matters.

And when I refer to this world, I include online comments because we are either contributing to the healing and harmony of the planet or we’re stoking the fires of violence and oppression. Don’t be a troll. Let’s voice our opinions in a way that make people think, rather than spewing bile and hiding behind Facebook. What we say and how we say it matters. And if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it at all. This isn’t about political correctness, it’s about human decency.

Also, by no means is this the full list of what our society is facing, these are just the topics on my mind as I sit here and try to make sense of recent events.

So, while we’re waiting for politicians, celebrities, activists and organizers to do something, let’s also remember our role. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. Be good and respectful to yourself and others during these trying times. Reflect on your own thoughts, actions and blind spots, and I will do the same.

You are wonderful.

Peace,

Add a comment
  1. Nancy says:

    Thank you for being brave and putting this out there!

  2. Dora Graye says:

    BRAVO!!!

  3. Bridget says:

    I can’t thank you enough for posting this. So thoughtful, so light filled and hopefully it inspires some change needed.

  4. Anon says:

    Thank you, Kris, for this heartfelt reminder to look within.
    Perhaps if we make an effort to look within, we can do more than simply breed understanding. We can cultivate a mentality that appreciates all beings, even in the absence of understanding.
    Namaste <3

  5. Chere Hampton says:

    Thank you sister. Thank you.

  6. Katie Costantini says:

    Well said Kris. I’ve been getting quite a lot of marketing from you recently and this article is a wonderful change in energy

  7. Emerald says:

    Kris — I am 100% in agreement with your letter! I’ve lived a rich and interesting life that has not been exempt from adversity, tragedy and war. I’ve also experienced the utmost unconditional love and understanding that carried me through these times. My greatest lesson in life has been that is isn’t what happens to us that is most critical but what and how we decide to deal with it! There has to be real action to bring about real change. You are a great and strong warrior for the positive. Please continue to let your voice be heard.

  8. Wow Kris, you are not alone in these feelings. So glad you had the courage to express them. I am finding it harder and harder to stay positive and keep my thoughts attracting goodness and abundance. As each week, each month goes by I feel I am being dragged down further and further. There is so much potential for love in this world and yet it seems hate and prejudice continues to have the upper hand. Prejudice is not just big things, like against religious beliefs or skin color, but even smaller issues like homelessness and age. I am not sure what’s happening or why, I only know it is scary and difficult to fight against, but fight we must. If we give up there will be no future, no good future for my children.

    I am frustrated with praying and asking for help, but I too will continue. And I will speak up as well, so don’t you stop. You have my love and support.

  9. Sarah says:

    Kris – Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your honesty and have felt several of the same struggles you mention. The conversations around these topics are scary because I fear the differences in my friends and families ideas will divide us. I realize I need to work more on myself, and be confident in speaking my thoughts. Love and kindness are a gift I can give to everyone, and remebering that during these difficult conversations, will help raise my consciousness and that of our world.

  10. Silvia says:

    Thanks Kris. Totally agree that unity is the answer in tragic times, not more division. War, crime, hate could not manifest in a world of unity, love and kindness. Thats what we CAN focus on in our own lives to make a difference in our world. #kindnessrevolution

  11. Wendy Fletcher says:

    I wish more people felt like you do. Your article is an inspiration and thanks so much for writing it.

  12. Elizabeth Sterling says:

    Kris, you’ve said what is in my heart, and in many of our hearts. As painful as it is, we must face the ugliness in our world and confront it head on with love. This is not a time to retreat into ourselves because it’s “too hard” to see and feel it. We must pray for healing, and let that healing light spill out into the world. As Marianne Williamson said in a recent lecture, “My mind holds only what I think with God.” This is my mantra, and I pray now that all of our minds hold only what we think with God.

    • Viv says:

      Kris, I agree with all
      the comments written above this post of mine (first 9 responses) and especially your letter to us.
      I’m grateful you stepped out of your comfort zone to write words that express so well our discomfort, fears and sorrows over what is happening in this time on this planet.
      You have brought more clarity to what I’ve been trying to grasp and speak too and I’m
      sure many more us. You helped me to not feel so alone, fearful and helpless.
      You spoke so well to the heart of the issues.
      I’m so glad you are putting it out there for all of us to work on ourselves. To raise our own concsciousness to the collective and lift the vibration of the world to love with love through working on ourselves. That is something each one of us can do and do right now.
      Thank you again for walking through the fear of speaking up and then doing it so beautifully. Blessings love and light -Viv

  13. Victoria says:

    You really moved me. I adore this post and respect you even more for taking action in this moment.

  14. Sue Arnott says:

    Dear, dear Kris….
    You inspire me so much with your wisdom, kindness and love. You have absolutely nailed it with this and thank you for taking the risk. Anyone who judges your words negatively are who we all need to reach. Thank you for sharing what is in your heart and thank you for being you. I become a better person each time I see words like this. You are lovely. Love, Sue.

  15. ShannonRose says:

    Sweet Kris, thank you for this. Heart felt, wise, true and a calling to action. You might feel your words are a risk but I feel it is much more of a risk to stay silent and complacent and numb. We need everyone’s compassion, perseverance, clear seeing and heart to find our way through, raise each other up and heal. If not now, when? We all matter. We all need each other. Please keep building your courage muscles and speaking from your heart. Your bravery gives strength and inspiration for others to follow their own callings, and together we will rise. Much love, ShannonRose

    • Pamela says:

      You spoke words that I believe are in so many of our hearts. I agree wholeheartedly that we need to examine the energy we are each putting into this world if we are ever to make a real change. That’s how we can begin to make a real difference. It starts with each one of us. Thank you for having to courage to write this. I am going to link to the article from my website that’s coming soon.

  16. Kathy says:

    Thank you, Kris. Well said. I feel almost hopeless until I read something that aligns with my thoughts. I just don’t know what I can do to help move our society out of this place we find ourselves in. I know I need to work on myself to rid myself of my own frustrated feelings, so perhaps that is the first step.

    • Susan says:

      Yes, Kathy…I agree…the first step needs to come from within!

    • Mojca says:

      Yes to working on ourselves , that comes first. But I think it’s equally important to start helping someone else, starting to make a positive impact for someone else, however small or big it may be. And maybe we manage to inspire someone that way, like Kris now just inspired many I’m sure. That will have the ripple effect we need in the world. I’ll start thinking right away how I can be of help…and in that process I’ll surely have the opportunity to work on my self at the same time ? <3

  17. Vidya says:

    This is exactly what we need to hear dear. Thank you.

  18. Maike says:

    Beautiful words, Kris! <3

  19. Dee says:

    Thank you, Kris. So true. So true.

  20. Tracy says:

    Kris – it is your genuine, holistic approach to life that is inspiring – thank you for taking the time to write this. We need more people to speak up and speak out.

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