Hiya Gorgeous!
Today I want to share some life-changing advice I was given. We all experience fear of taking a risk and self-doubt. You know, that naggy inner voice that whispers negative nonsense that makes us feel insecure about standing out or doing things differently?
Well, sometimes we can trace that voice back to what other people have said to us (or about us). And this is what I want to work on with you today—because nobody puts baby in a corner!
Ready for one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received? Here goes…
What other people think about you is none of your business.
Ha! Yup, it’s their business, not yours.
The thing that matters most is what YOU think about you.
What you think about your dreams, about who you love, how you live, how you contribute to the world and so on. That’s what matters—your healthy opinion of you.
The more we rely on outside permission and validation, the less empowered we’ll feel to go our own way, share our unique gifts, or rise up to challenge injustice.
Sure, feedback can be a good and useful thing. I’m not suggesting we live in a self-indulgent bubble. I’m absolutely grateful for the times my best friend (and even my mother) have pulled me aside and encouraged me to look at things a different way. But not everyone has our best interests in mind–even when they think they do.
Therefore, discernment is really important.
We’ve gotta sift through the feedback in order to decide what’s valuable and what’s the other person’s baggage or boo boo.
Folks who like to flex their nasty or frightened muscles are often acting from a place of their own wounds. Have compassion for them but don’t let their drama dull your sparkle, dampen your dreams or plant seeds of doubt!
Again, if it’s the opinion of someone you truly trust and value, carefully look for the nugget of wisdom that could help you. But remember—their feelings aren’t your facts.
And no matter what, just keep doing your best and spreading your magic.
I’ve got a lot more to share on this topic, so press play to get my take on how to stay in your power, so you don’t let other people’s opinions tear you down.
In this video you’ll learn:
- How self-doubt plagues us all
- More nuggets from the best advice I’ve ever gotten
- Tips for staying focused—not afraid
- How to deal with haters and rise above negativity
Feelin’ inspired? I sure hope so! You are meant for great things, sweetheart. Believe in yourself. This is your one great life and you get to decide how you want to live it.
Your turn: How would your life improve if you weren’t so worried about what other people thought? Or if you have advice for how to handle criticism, please let us know! Leave a comment below.
Peace and kindness,
Thank you sooo much! This really came at the right moment in my life! It really touched my heart and soul <3
I definitely needed to hear this today. Your words are always so uplifting and insightful. Thank you, Kris ❤
Going through this right now. Thanks ! I need to focus on my work / vision / and the Love I want to spread.
You’re Amazing! I have two of your books and I’m like so glad that you wrote them. This video is like just what I needed today.
Awesome! Thanks Rachel, glad it resonated with you. 🙂
Kris your words always hit me in my reality gut. I tell myself I don’t listen or take on negativity, but reality is, that I subconsciously do, which holds me back. I really am going to let the comments and opinions of others be, and not let it be any of my business……love to you
Love right back. Also, we all do. It’s not easy, I think of it more like an ongoing practice, one where I’m always looking for new tools to help me stay centered and in the positive, so I can keep moving forward. 🙂
lovely talk and very true
Great video!
Thank you for this! Since I always worry what others think of me, I know I hold myself back. This is the boost I need to hear right now ?
Thank you so much for sharing these words of encouragement. The world needs more more messages like this for sure.
Thank you for the work you do and the inspiration you provide to me and so many others.
Kris, you are a true gift to the world & have been improving many aspects of my life with your wisdom for years. Thank you! This love article came at the perfect time, what other peeps think is something I am working on just simply not caring about anymore & your words are SO true and helpful. Amen to this & then some amazing lady! Hugs & good vibes “- )
Love this and especially the RBF (resting bitch face) moments ???.
I like to do a simple meditation and imagine whomever in their cage all angry and hurt ? and I pour golden purified love ? all over them and then blow said cage up just like ‘Piper’ from Charmed would. ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ Love from England xxx
I live with constant criticism and negativity. It is from an aging parent and has manifested as the fear of a life closer to its end tales over.
I combat the negativity with love and laughter. It works. But some days when life ‘happens’ and my light is waning and not on super strength the dark words cast shadows and self doubt. I seek warmth and find a happy place that begins to nourish my spirit and strengthens my light again..
A heartwarming film; a favourite uplifting or even sad song: an inspiring quote from Louise Hay or you Kris Carr; or plain love from hearing a friend”s voice….being present. Hearing and helping someone going through a tough time and realising words do not hurt, life is good, others’ opinions do not define me. The older i get the easier it is to replenish my light and not let others ‘dark’ (fear and insecurities) cast shadows. I take responsibility and hug my mum and tell her I love her…. or remove the negative person from my life or myself from the dark.
Love, hope and compassion rock! They are contagious…
Thank you for your message.
Some days they resonate loudly.
Keep authentic and laughing and sprinkling your magic. #grateful Xx
Love your bright spirit! I’m a singer/songwriter. Sometimes the most well meaning people can (unconsciously)/inadvertently really screw you up with their (un)helpful advice. I’ve heard lots and lots of stuff over the years that unfortunately, I listened to – not on purpose- and it sticks in your head and suddenly I hate all of my songs, or I hate what I write or how I look when I see videos or – just whatever. You really have to be so so careful with the information that you hear. It can make you just not want to play anymore. When you need to be playing and writing and singing. And recording etc.
I like to watch Jimmy Kimmel’s Mean Tweets because it makes me laugh at just how ridiculous jealous trolls can be. It’s harder when it’s your mom or your boyfriend or even your bff. And it also helps to remember that people have said the stupidest things – like Bridge Over Troubled Water is too depressing to release as a single and “it’s not a hit” or Dolly Parton will never amount to anything because the girl can’t sing. Madonna’s a slutty fad who will come and go. Marilyn Monroe is so ugly she’s ruining my pictures- fire that trashy blonde (true story -David Zanuck fired her). Freddy Mercury unfortunately believed what critics said about his piano playing and quit playing after awhile. He was great on the piano as well as an incredible singer.
Anyway, if you do anything in life, there will be critics just like ants at a picnic.
Play your music LOUD, Kellie Sue. It’s great, like you. That I have no doubt about. 🙂 Thanks for all your thoughts… ants at a picnic is one I’ll always remember. x!
Love this, just sending it to my friend’s teenage daughter. Great life lesson to learn at a younger age.
I was born and raised in the Philippines and my grandpa had told me a trick on how to handle haters. He said to think of them as an empty can.
You see, when a can is full, you can tap it hard and it’s quiet. But when you tap an empty can, it makes a lot of noise and it could be pretty loud. So I take delight in imagining them in my head as an “empty can’ and it’s hard to get your feelings hurt when you’re having a good time imagining them as a loud, annoying empty can.
That’s perfect, Christina! I love your grandpa’s sage advice.
LOVED Your message . . . a former colleague had your very message posted in her office – it served as a reminder every time went into her office. I haven’t worked with her for several years so it was nice to see the words again and be reminded of their importance.
Thank you!!!
That’s awesome. Thanks for sharing, Christine.
Wow, this was perfect timing for me. I love when people are up front and shoot straight from the hip – so much more honest and beneficial. Thank you, thank you, thank you..
I love that too, Danielle. 🙂
I was just diagnosed with a malignant effusion. Will you please send me names of centers you think would best serve me?
Thank You for all your goodness!
It’s so funny, I often think of this in the reverse, as well. As in — what business do I have commenting on someone’s business? For example, on social media when someone will be all negative about men/dating. I’ll reeeeally want to say — you attract what you put out there, girl, and you’re puttin’ out a whole lot of negative. But I’ll stop myself (which sometimes is hard because I think I’m so wise 😉 ) — cuz it’s really none of my business!
I can relate to this myself, Marianne. GREAT point. Just because I give advice for a living, doesn’t mean everyone wants it. Especially when it’s unsolicited by friends and family, LOL. Thanks this. 🙂
Hehehe…
If you don’t already have a copy of the movie “What about Bob” rent it! Bill Murray (Bob) bumbles through an hour & a half comedy displaying EVERY phobia known as Richard Dreyfus (dr Marvin) try’s not to help his patient because he’s on vacation with his family. I love this movie, Bob shows us he doesn’t worry too much about what others think as he’s thought to be crazy he’s really the teacher!
I haven’t watched that movie in years, adding it to netflix, thank ya!
Thanks Michelle I’ve never seen this film.