Hiya Gorgeous!
Today I wanna chat with you about something that’s been on my mind. With the winter holidays in our sights and the end of the year fast approaching, this feels like the perfect time for a good old heart-to-heart. So, whaddya say—ready to open up and get a little deep? I think I see you nodding your head over there…
I want to talk about forgiveness—and where it really comes from.
There’s so much to say on this subject, and I’ve explored it on the blog before, but today I want to look at it from a different angle. I want talk about how to move on, whether or not we get the apology or resolution we’re looking for.
We often sit and wait for apologies. We tell ourselves we’ll move on when we get answers or as soon as things fall into place. But we don’t always hear “I’m sorry,” and those unresolved situations don’t always tie themselves up into neat little packages.
When we’re faced with that reality, many of us aren’t sure how to move on. So, we might hold on to those feelings and let them weigh us down. And that sort of thing can really block our joy and mess with our trust (in people and the universe!).
Getting burned or bruised sucks. There’s no doubt about it. And you’ve gotta give yourself a chance to process the anger, sadness, disappointment and whatever else you might be feeling. Or, as Rev. Iyanla Vanzant put it:
“You need to go ahead and give yourself permission to be angry. Stuffing it down creates a cocktail for disaster.”
Ain’t that the truth!
How to Move On, No Matter What
But, here’s what I want you to know: You don’t have to carry those crappy, unsettled feelings around with you. And you shouldn’t! You’ve got plenty of other things goin’ on in your world. Why not lighten your load?
You can learn how to move on and heal painful wounds—and you don’t need anyone or anything else to make it happen. Because guess what?
Forgiveness starts and ends with wonderful y-o-u.
I know that the idea of moving on without an apology or resolution might have you raising an eyebrow. And I won’t sugarcoat it—this stuff takes some real work on the soul level. But I also know how strong you are, so I don’t doubt for a second that moving on—and the relief that comes with it—is possible.
That’s why I made this little video love note for ya. Because even though the next step is up to you, you’re not alone. I’ve got your back—think of me as your forgiveness cheerleader! And I bet that there are lots of other people in your life who would be happy to lend their support as you figure out how to move on. Sometimes all you have to do is ask.
Press play below to hear a personal story of forgiveness from my life. I also share how holding on to the past can affect you on the cellular level, so don’t miss it!
And here’s the best part: You might be surprised what you have room for when you let go of thoughts that don’t serve you. Making that kind of energetic space for new things is powerful and incredibly brave. I’m so proud of you!
Your turn: Is there someone in your life you want to forgive? How could forgiving them help you make space for more positive energy? And if you have any tips for forgiving, please share.
Peace & making space,
your website is very nice, the article is very enlightening, I wish you continued success.
Hello Kris –
I had totally stumbled on your web site totally by accident. And just having a big disagreement with my wife a couple of days ago,, And I started to read some of your pages from your website and the seen the video, and the message that you had put on the web. The words pierced thru me inter soul. That I couldn’t control my emotions, and I just started to cry…
Everything you said was true, and spot on.. Everything that you wrote was how I was thinking, said, or did or reaction that I was trying to solve on my own. I had reached out to family, church, and some gave good points on how to resolve this dilemma.
I am trying to resolve it,, but I am not getting a good vibe,,, I really don’t want throw to give up when I put in so much time.. This will be a very hard decision ,,
T
After 18 years of being together, my husband is cheating on me. I feel like sh##… I’m trying to forgive and move on but I can’t, it’s too painful. I can understand that he doesn’t love anymore but I can’t get over the lie (he is still denying it).
I will try meditation but I feel hopeless.
Absolutely. LOVE. This. Thanks for stoking the flame, love light!!!
This year I really wanted to work on myself. Mostly I want to get on in life, because even though I am living in a new city and I am having a good life kinda I still am stuck in the past somehow. I had friends and family members and boyfriends who always told me that I am ugly and not worth enough to be loved. Unfortunately even now, years after that I still have these sentences in the back of my mind. Even though I am a lot stronger and more confident now, my past is still holding me back, giving me trust issues and so on. So this year I want to spent on self healing, on self love. It is still a really hard and long way to go. But this meditation helped me so much and I will listen to it a lot more often. It is funny that I stumbled over your youtube channel after I prayed to god to help me with these issues. Thank you so much 🙂
I want to talk to you about an issue many daughters suffer from with little support or relief from judgement. Toxic Mothers. I have forgiven her and accepted she is who she is because her Mother wasn’t a healthy parent. The problem is: she’s not doing the real work to heal herself. So she’s still very toxic to me. I do not wish her ill. However, I do wish she would just stay a face in the crowd I don’t know from all the other people in the world I haven’t met.
For this reason, I have blocked her from my life. Since making this decision my energy has increased and my healing progressed at a much faster rate. My own daughter isn’t speaking to me at the moment. But that’s ok. She has a new baby, her husband just got back from deployment – they are both in the Navy. I don’t really feel like she’s doing anything other than focusing on her family first – like I told her she should do – while I become a healthier person. I know the Universe will bring us to a better relationship as Mother/Grandmother.
At the end of the day, I hope you speak on this issue. There are many women and men suffering in silence from toxic parents, with few resources to help them or support their positive growth to a healthier state of being. Namaste
The same happened to me. The guy Wrote the next day an appology. I Love it when this happens xo xo from Germany. Thank u for being u!
Well, I’ve never been angry someone that long, I see that people have their own reasons even if they have done something intentionally or not. So, my mind processes the way of forgiving and forgetting as I consider people who mistreat me don’t deserve my time being irritated at them. By doing this, I have real friends who will stay and strangers will end up strangers. Sometimes it might hurt because there are some people who I really care about never return my respect. But well, that’s how life is going. 🙂
– Natalie
Thank you for highlighting that forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone or need to continue a relationship with someone. I really enjoyed your take on apologies. I’m proud to say I’ve reached a point in my life where I realize that one of the keys to personal health is forgiveness, not for others, but for myself. 🙂
This is more of a technical question and I wasn’t sure where to ask it. I purchased your book “Crazy, Sexy Diet” just recently in two formats: a “real” book and an iBook. But, being the techie type person, I wanted to copy and paste sections of the book and put it in a quick read doc that makes it easy for me to get to the meat (no animals, lol) of the things I feel most important. Unfortunately, unless I have a PDF file or something like this, that I can easily do this with, it is not possible. I may be a techie, but sometimes I like the low tech approach too. Thanks.
My husband is peg fed I make healthy smoothies but have to strain them to get rid of pips etc I wonder if he is getting any goodness from them can you please advise thank you Margaret Nevin
This resonates with me in a BIG way right now, Kris, thank you! Love everything about this video, from your beautiful yellow top to the groovy music at the end, and of course the lessons learned in between. Thank you for delivering the message in such a clear and compassionate way. #doingitforme
Your video on how to move on really came at the right moment Kris. Thanks. Thinking about the holidays coming and having to face again that same person is really hard for me. I know that what you say is absolutely making sense. This is a true journey for me. I sure need your input. Manny thanks
I had something super similar happen. I did a Gabby Bernstein guided meditation and focuses on my best friend from high school who stopped talking to me years ago. And days later I got a FB message from her- APOLOGIZING for her role in the breakdown of our relationship. It really is amazing how the universe works.
Wow! Love that, Jamie. Thanks for sharing 🙂 xo!
Forgivness can, and will, open you up to gratitude and growth.. As crazy and backward it may sound. Once you take steps towards feeling at peace and get some space and time between you and what happened, you can actually start to feel..grateful. Because it leads you to where you are now.
That is how it works for me. Once I make peace within. Although it can take time.
It helps you grow and be more your true self.
Kris you’re the best! Thanks so much for everything! //Jejja in Sweden
It really does take time, but gratitude can be so powerful. I’m so glad you mentioned that! Thank you for your wise words. Mwah!
Try listing the things you are grateful for about the person you need to forgive, even if they are in the past. Next, try and empathize with the person. Perhaps he or she was afraid or had an inner child dominate. Finally, bless them and pray for his or her highest good even if you keep a healthy boundary up. Finally, celebrate how it helped you to grow or gain new self-awareness. It is hard not to forgive.
Wow, Connie—these tips are amazing. I’m going to try every single one of them. It all comes down to compassion, and you’ve reflected that so beautifully in your comment. Thank you! xo
Thank you for this video, I needed it. Just the right time, I was looking for forgiveness. Did your meditation right away and it Helped a lot. My emotions was stored in my throat, felt the tears coming and it was like needles in my hands. I felt some relieve but I know, I’ll have to do it again. Thank you Kriss. Bless You
So glad this came at the right time, Marie. I hope you’ll listen again. The more you practice, the more your mindset will start to shift. Sending you lots of love. xo!
OMGoddess, Kris! What a profound and transformational guided meditation! Thankyouthankyou from the bottom of my heart.. What a beautiful place to return to that I will be visiting again and again. May it bring healing to us all…
Tip: for (self-)forgiveness, I have found the Hawaiian ho’oponopono prayer practice to be a powerful tool as well!
With much love and gratitude! xoxo
Elisa, I’m so glad you enjoyed the meditation! I hope it brings you comfort whenever you need it. Thanks for the tip, too. I’ll definitely check that out. xo!
Kris i’m so glad you put this out there. Letting go of grudges and unresolved conflict is one of the hardest things to do. I’ve come to learn that everything happens for a reason. I always hold onto some hope that one particular person I had a falling out with will come around and show some desire to apologizefor their wrongdoing and resolve what happened between us, but i don’t let it weight me down like I once did. Sometimes it’s better to trust where the universe puts us rather than to dwell on the past. I find that I feel much more at peace when I simply trust that everything works out the way it is supposed to.
Wow, Marc—it sounds like you’re really putting in the work to let go of those old wounds. I know it’s not easy, but you should be proud of yourself (I know I am!) for the efforts you’ve already made. xo!
My tip on forgiveness is this:
Holding onto anger and resentment and being unforgiving towards someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Holding onto all of that shizzle only hurts you and only you…. gotta let all of that stuff go! Choose JOY!
Such a good point, Susan! Let’s get rid of that shizzle 😉 xo!