Hiya Gorgeous!
Do you know how to relax? Take a chill pill? Quiet those racing thoughts for more than a moment or two? As a busy business owner, this can be a challenge for me. I bet that’s the case for you, too.
It’s no surprise. Life can be busy and a lot of us struggle to get real, rejuvenating rest. We might think we’re taking the time to refuel—but really we’re still on the go.
We’ve forgotten how to calm down & enjoy
Picture this: A couple years back (when we could all still travel!), my hubby and I had just arrived in the Bahamas, ready to unwind after a busy season. I set up on the beach, book in one hand, green juice with a pineapple twist in the other. Then, it started.
The busy brain and racing thoughts. I couldn’t sit still. I tried to close my eyes and relax, but the whole thing just felt so… foreign. It was like I’d completely forgotten how to calm down and enjoy myself.
As I sat there squirming, I thought about my at-home relaxation practices. And then it occurred to me—I couldn’t remember the last time I’d actually been still.
I’m always moving! Always fixing, folding or cooking something, thinking about tomorrow or checking the news.
Sound familiar?
That’s when my big a-ha moment came:
There’s real rest… and then there’s putter rest.
Real Rest vs. Putter Rest
Real rest is still and restorative. We lay down our to-do lists to really energize and enjoy ourselves.
Putter rest, on the other hand, is busy and even a bit frantic. When we’re putter resting, we fill the time with chores and errands, tasks and to-dos.
The truth is many of us have forgotten how to calm down and enjoy ourselves—even when we’ve set aside time to do exactly that. Just “being” can be really uncomfortable when we’re not used to it. Feelings bubble up that we’ve been trying to ignore, or we start to notice the dull aches and pains that we typically power through. So we panic, then we putter.
Tell me I’m not alone here…
No wonder we often end our vacations (or, more recently, stay-cations) feeling less energized than when we started. Especially in this demanding year, I don’t want that to be the case for you, gorgeous.
I want you to enjoy real, renewing and restorative rest.
Remembering how to unwind
Today I want you to dig deep and get real about rest. Is your stay-cation filled with a long list of household projects? Do you struggle to stop all your racing thoughts when you finally settle in for some R&R? If so, you might be on the fast track to burnout, sweet friend. But we can turn things around.
Check out this video (that I recorded right after that wonderful Bahamas trip) to find out:
- What putter rest is and how to identify it
- Why we gravitate toward putter rest
- How to really relax and rejuvenate instead
Remember—you’re going to spend plenty of your days working, arranging and doing! Your body and mind deserve a real reboot every once in a while.
Give yourself the rest you need to show up as your best self in this beautiful life of yours.
Your turn: Do you sometimes default to putter rest? And what could you do to really rest instead?
Peace & sweet relaxation,
So true! I find it easier to rest if I am away from home – even if it is the beach 2 miles from my house! When I sit home, I see everything that needs to get done – then I putter. Sometimes just sitting on my deck makes a difference – outside – out of the house. There is always something to get done – so important to take the time to get a real rest!
You are so right Darlene! And you are worth that real rest! xo, kc
We had rented a vacation home. After a busy week, we had packed up and took the long drive to our getaway. Stopped along the way to pick up some cheese and crackers at a cheese making place along the way. Picked up some wine at a vineyard (we were in wine country). Arrived, unpacked, settled in. Took the cheese, crackers and wine to the back patio to enjoy the sunset. Checked my watch. Poured a glass of wine, ate some. Poured another glass of wine. Felt like I was putting the long day aside finally. Looked at my watch again. 15 minutes had passed. I laughed. This vacation process will take a little longer I think. Each day was better, more relaxed, more enjoyable.
What progress Stephen! All it takes is a little practice! xo, kc
Can relate!! Great read!
I was just having this conversation with a friend. I just moved from a city to a peaceful house on the water and have been addicted to my technology since I got here. I feel like an addict and my body has no idea how to really enjoy the peace I’ve been craving for so long. I’ve been surrounded by so much chaos for so long and didn’t have the energy for my technology. Now that there’s peace, I’m struggling to sit in it. Technology rest is definitely not real rest, even if the putter isn’t involved.
It definitely can be challenging! You are doing great though! Keep sitting with the peace! xo, kc
Hi Kris, going to places you know for a restful vacation is a wonderful tip! Living in Europe, for us it’s Ibiza. The vibe is incredible and I sometimes think, the island has its own timezone 🙂 I miss the island now more than ever, but fingers crossed we can go there next year.
How beautiful Stephanie! I have my fingers crossed for you for next year! xo, kc
Thank you so much Kris ? for sharing your wisdom and love of life. Very enlightening about real rest and putter rest. Have a peaceful delightful day?
Kris, I too have forgotten how to really rest. I have a full-time job during the week. Then on weekends, I create love-filled nature art and move forward on my art business. (BTW – thank you for “introducing” me to Marie a few years ago! I’m completing my 3rd round of B-School! : ) Plus, I do my best to share love w/family and friends during my “down time”. So for me, rest and restoring my energy is challenging. With your inspiration though, I’m renewing my commitment to nurturing self-care, including fruit/veggie drinks, quiet time, walks in our beloved natural world, and simply being. Thanks again, Kris! You’re awesome! PS. I love your meditations and Crazy Sexy Love Notes. And I’ve shared your website, plus your books with many dear friends and family. : ) xoxox, Rebecca
Lovely post Kris! Your voice transmits authenticity like never before. And that means I am more likely to take your advice – from your heart to mine. Sometimes putter rest is cooking on a Sunday afternoon for the rest of the week. And sometimes cooking is real rest because it can be a meditative practice that nourishes me in body and spirit. On the other hand, there are times when Sunday afternoons are for falling asleep on the couch while reading: THAT is real resting! However, I often feel guilty for not being productive. “Work = Value” is a long held belief that hard to let go of.
Rest… when I do my breathing yoga before bed at night, it’s amazing how I feel… like all is right with the world. It’s not very effective if I do it here and there… when I do it regularly – at least 4 times a week – is when it really helps me. 1/2 hr. of focusing on my breathe and gentle twists and stretches… amazing. Thanks for the reminding about how moments of relaxation make such a difference.
Wonderful, Kris!!! Thank you!
I resonate with all the posts. As a single mom of two teenage girls I really know putter rest. And I am sure you all know it too: You think you`ll rest after the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning is done. But it never is really done. There always are new upcoming things. In german we have a saying that can be translated like this: First work then pleasure. I`d like to change it: First real rest, then putter rest :-). At the moment we have wonderful dawns with real concerts from all the birds singing. Sitting there in the morning and listening to these birdy concerts is really really resting and a great start into the day.
You are an amazing human being. So Cheerful and full of energy even though you went through so much in your life. I just love your emails.
Chris, I am so grateful to you for all you share, freely. Your blogs and tips really help me. Please continue to provide good information for those of us not in a financial position to fork over payment for courses. Today is the day to take a vacation from putter rest. Thank you.