Emotional Health

Forget Confidence, Choose Courage (video)

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Hiya Gorgeous!

Starting when we’re very young, we’re told to be confident.

From first days of school to first dates, big tests to big meetings, we’re encouraged to be confident, get confident, act confident—no matter what.

But where’s all this confidence supposed to come from? We’re told to be confident, but not how. We have to figure it out on our own. I know I’ve spent years building those tools, and I’m sure you can relate!

Of course, it’s human nature to crave certainty. There’s something incredibly comforting about knowing the outcome—about being sure. We often seek confidence because it makes us feel like we can go into new, scary or unknown situations with less doubt.

But what if we’re actually focusing on the wrong thing?

I’ve learned over the years that very few things in life are certain.

When I was diagnosed with incurable Stage IV cancer, I wasn’t confident I’d live more than another 10 years. Any of the certainty I had about where my life was headed disappeared. So I stopped seeking confidence (and looking back, I’m so glad I did!). I had to find another way to move forward and take the chances necessary to improve my health.

Maybe you’ve also been faced with a decision or opportunity that had the potential to impact your life in a big way. And I bet that no matter how much thinking you did, how many pro/con lists you wrote and how much advice you got from trusted confidants, you eventually had to take the first step without being 100% sure of the outcome. Well, while you may not have realized it at the time, something deep in your bones helped you put one foot in front of the other.

It was courage, not confidence.

That’s what drove me to start taking better care of myself after my diagnosis and why more than a decade later, my life is more connected and magical than ever before. And guess what? It’s also the secret force that helps you make decisions and keep moving, even in times of fear and uncertainty.

And get this—when you consciously choose courage, incredible things start to happen. That’s exactly what my new video is all about. Press play below!

 

Here’s what I hope you’ll remember: If you choose courage, life will open up for you.

You’ll find it in you to make the changes you’ve been waiting for—to take the first step toward the better, healthier life you deserve. It’s all possible, so let your imagination run wild, sweetheart!

And special shout-out to my friend Dani Shapiro for informing and inspiring this awesome conversation!

Your turn: Ok, this may seem cheesy, but can we do a pinky swear? The next time you want to hold yourself back because you don’t feel confident enough, will you choose courage and take the leap? Give me a big YES in the comments below.

Peace and courage,

Add a comment
  1. Rebecca says:

    Yes! Thank you, Kris! I’ve never really considered myself confident, but I do believe I have courage. Years ago, I lost my ability to speak because of fear and emotional trauma. I continue to heal today. Sometimes, I still don’t like the way my voice sounds and it can be difficult and humiliating to talk. But I’m not giving up! You are a gift to this world, Kris!

    • kris says:

      Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Rebecca. That sounds like a tough situation, but I’m glad to hear you’re giving yourself the time and space you need to heal. Sending you lots of love! xo, kc

      • Rebecca says:

        You’ve inspired me more than you know, Kris. I have your books, meditations, and love note cards. Thank you with all my heart! Lots of love to you, too!

  2. Kristina says:

    Love you Kris! It is so inpiring what do you say! I have lately decided to organise my first ever wellness workshop at my home town and feel empowered ever since I went out and started to let people know about my event! Of course I feel also equally afraid that I do not know enough, and what happens if I do not know every reply to questions that I might get but… what do I have to loose? I’ll be anyway richer by an experience!

    • kris says:

      Congrats, Kristina! Good luck with your workshop and trust that you know enough. You’re going to be great. I find that most people need help with the basics. Less with the advance stuff. Sending you love and good vibes for an awesome workshop. xo!

  3. Sandy says:

    Never thought of courage before in that way.
    Great point

  4. Edite says:

    YES I choose courage!

  5. Katerina says:

    You know, the first time I watched this video something told me that it was, well, not for me. But I kept a mental note of it, and one day later, here I am, playing it over and over again. What you are saying is so true. So, pinky promise!

  6. Thanks Kris, this is completely a new discovery to me as I’ve never thought of courage instead of confident but I cannot agree more with you. It’s really meaningful. Thanks so much!!

  7. Lisa Thurston says:

    Thank you Kris and Dani. I have never thought about confidence in that way before. You have made me see it in a different light. I will remember this the next time I am afraid to try something new.

  8. Yes! I posted a blog tonight that I was hesitant about because it wasn’t all flowers and sunshine. Sometimes you have to say it like your not coming back, and probably won’t be invited!

    • kris says:

      I bet people really resonated with it. We’re definitely not always looking for flowers and sunshine. Truth and vulnerability is often what we need to hear / read, most. Good for you, Karen. xo!

  9. manon says:

    I agree about courage.
    I always lacked self confidence, but I will try being courageous to take the first step.
    I did show courage in my life, and it was messy, not perfect, but real.
    thank you for this advice to go for courage instead of self confidence.

  10. Aurora Kilai says:

    Kris, I love how courageous you are to maintain an open heart with everything you say and do. You are an inspiration to us all! Abundant blessings shower you always in all ways!

  11. Pippa Dooney says:

    Nice one Kris! I have been thinking I need confidence but yes, courage is closer to the bone. It acknowledges and accepts our fear and uncertainty. Confidence develops rather than it being something we are supposed to feel when we don’t,! I am going to show this video to my 14 year old daughter who lacks confidence but despite that shows courage. Often. Good for her to recognise that. Xxxx

    • kris says:

      You are SO right, Pippa. We can build confidence, but we shouldn’t put the pressure on ourselves to make it appear out of thin air! So glad this resonated you and that you’ll share with your daughter. Sending love to both of you! xo, kc

  12. Lisa says:

    YES! It takes courage to build confidence. Thank you for always choosing courage and sharing your story. You are a constant source of inspiration.

  13. Naureen says:

    Dear Kris,

    Thank you so much for this. I saw this email at a moment when I was feeling quite unconfident at work thinking I couldn’t handle a project at work and wanting to summon my confidence somehow! It is so relieving to read that a lot of people feel unconfident and courage lets you get off your tush and get things done! thank you Kris. Sending you love!

  14. Maureen says:

    nK, I Pinky Swear with you to do this more often. Thank you, Kris. Much Appreciation, Love, Health and Many Blessings to you ~ Namaste!

  15. Leah Kotkes says:

    Kris, you are a life tonic. I just love what you give me whenever I listen to you. I admire your work and learn from you every time. Thank you sincerely, and may you receive continual blessings to inspire and give to others as well as yourself and your own family.

  16. Charlie Porter says:

    I want to strengthen and loosen my hip flexors. My abdomen is strong but is too tight and my hips unflexible.
    My weight is fine, I’m 6’1″ 155lbs and a lonmg distance runner hitting 30 -50 miles a week. I also am 66 years old. My objective is to balance my core muscles- gluts and abs very strong but often tight restricting my diaphragm when exercising. I can’t figure it out. Maybe it’s stress.??

  17. Mandy Saile says:

    Kris, I just love your smiling face and upbeat attitude, your not just inspiring but your uplifting too, thank you SO much for that XO and yes I pinky swear to exercise my courage muscle (with my art) way way more starting now:D wohoot whoooo:D

  18. Thanks, Kris, for yet another insightful nugget. When I’ve gone ahead and agreed to do something I may have some fear around, I use a little Kava Kava to help me through it. It numbs the nerves in a very subtle way and doesn’t leave my adrenals feeling spent afterwards. This could apply to a live talk/presentation, a big group event or any high stress situation that you WANT to do, but it’s a little scary too. I know that pills and supplements shouldn’t be our go-to quick fix. I use it rarely and sparingly, one capsule per event.

  19. Natalie says:

    yes

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