Hiya Gorgeous,
I recently googled “Top Ten Fears,” don’t ask me why, I must have been bored while waiting to get my teeth cleaned. Anyway, it was no surprise that public speaking ranked high on the list (sandwiched between snakes and heights).
I’ll be honest, I used to hate public speaking. Even though I began performing when I was a kid, speaking my own words was different. I was the shy girl who prayed she wouldn’t be called on in school. Partly because I often twisted up my words when I read out loud. Dyslexia will do that to ya.
I literally thought I would drop dead when I gave my first professional talk for the Philips company. They make lots of electronics, including TV’s and in this case, CAT Scan machines. There were over a thousand people in the audience, gulp and dare I say, f%ck! Sure, I had been practicing on smaller groups at health food stores but I was nowhere near ready for the army of eyeballs before me—or so I thought.
Guess what? Even though I refused to take my face out of my 30-page script (which I read word for word), I still received a standing ovation. Maybe they felt sorry for me, either way, I did it.
Because many of you give lectures, presentations, or just have to pipe up at work from time to time, here are some of my tips for crafting and delivering a great talk.
I have some more tips at the end of the blog for speaking anxiety, but rest assured that working on improving your speaking chops will get you 99% of the way there. Believe me, it gets much easier and sweeter each time you get out there, today I speak in front of audiences as large as 5000 people and I absolutely love it!
Ten tips for crafting and delivering a great speech
1. Know your audience. If you’ve been asked to speak at a medical conference don’t address the crowd like you’re at a Renaissance Fair. Also, if it’s a yearly event, be aware of past speakers who have spoken before you. This will give you more of a feel for what your event sponsor is looking for. Ask for a description of the audience. Are they mostly women? What’s the age range? What are they dealing with or interested in and so forth. Basically, get the lay of the land and know your people.
2. Forget scripts. Use post-it notes (while prepping) and index cards. While it’s tempting to read a script, it’s not very interesting for the audience. Plus, scripts don’t allow room for magic, new ideas, whim and the guided channeling that can take place when you’re in your sweet spot. When I’m crafting a speech I map out the key points with post-it notes (usually about 5-6 of them). Then I’ll work on the thoughts, ideas and stories that go with the key points––but I don’t memorize or set anything in stone. Once I’m ready to hit the stage I generally use one index card with the key points and reminders. You may not need anything, I like an anchor because I tend to have a great time up there and can get lost in the moment.
3. Prep but don’t over practice. Again, there’s no need to memorize. Practice so that you’re comfortable and you know where you’re going, then enjoy the ride. The best stuff will happen spontaneously. Leave room for it.
4. Look spiffy. If I could wear my sweat pants and sports bra everywhere I would, but this is the one time I make an effort to gussie up like a classy pro.
5. Strong start. Strong finish. Know your opener and your closer and do your best to inspire and lift people up, versus ranting about shitty room service food.
6. Story story story. People love stories. They make us feel, they take us places, they change us. Pick stories that illustrate your points and make sure to relate them back to your audience in some way. Remember, this isn’t a live diary entry.
7. Give your audience tips and examples. Are there specific tools that will help your audience put your teachings into practice? Stuff they can try at home or in their daily life? For example: I might tell a funny story about the first time I used a blender and how I forgot to tighten the lid and more smoothie ended up on my ceiling than in my belly. I could follow that with some tips and maybe even a recipe for my favorite smoothie. Nothing long or cumbersome, but something useful and practical. Ground your audience so they have something to do moving forward. You may also want to wind down your talk with a brief summary of your main teaching points before you send ‘em home with some soaring love.
8. Ask questions and give folks something to think about. Dare I say, challenge them. I don’t mean start a Q&A, but are there moments in your talk where you can ask your audience if they’ve ever felt that way, had a similar experience, gone through a similar event? If so, what seed can you plant in their mind so that the next time they find themselves in that space they have new tools or a refreshing idea to call on.
9. Have fun and use humor if it comes naturally to you. This isn’t a funeral (unless it is, then humor may not always be appropriate, unless you come from my family!). The more you bring your personality to your talks the more engaging and fun they’ll be for you and for your audience.
10. Learn something about yourself and the audience. Whether you give a so-so talk or you nail a home run, there’s always something to learn and try next time. Forget about what went right or wrong and just focus on what you learned.
Last but not least, if you’re terrified like I was in the beginning, there are lots of ways to ground yourself before a talk. Here are a few ideas: Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping), meditation, standing in your bare feet (backstage or outside in the grass) and asking for guidance and support. Don’t forget all the speaking angels you can call on—radical revolutionaries that have gone before you and are available when needed. Above all breathe. Stay focused on your breath and know that everyone poops. 🙂
Now it’s your turn: What helps you prepare for a talk, speech, lecture or presentation? Got tips? If so, share them!
Peace & Standing Ovations,
You are some kind of wonderful!
Namaste.
I love your number 1 tip know your audience. Once I have done my homework on my audience, I feel a lot more confident in giving my speech. Personally I feel a lot confidence talking to a casual audience than a more serious one. I love to just be myself and let my words and ideas flow instead of watching over every word that comes out of my mouth. Great articles and tips. Thanks you so much.
Thank you Kris. I so appreciate that every time I read your posts I feel a heart connection from you.
I so appreciate your REAL, caring, loving and inspiring messages.
May you be filled to the brim with everyday miracles.
Much love and aloha,
Gloria
P.S. Regarding public speaking – What helps me to stop my knees from shaking is to turn my focus away from, “What are they thinking of me?” to “How can I be of service to them?”
Thank you Gloria. 🙂 And wonderful advice. x
Thank you for the tips! I have a speech that I’ve put together, but I’m so nervous to do it for anyone. I’ve had some places request for me to speak so this will help me have the courage to do so!
I admire you so much. I have so much trouble being confident in myself. I am a teacher, a good one. Back to school night for me is a horror show. I am great with the children but have trouble speaking to parents. Thanks for the tips.
Thank you so much for this Kris! Do you have any tips for the rare ones like myself who are extreme facial blushers that now avoid public speaking at all costs due to the embarrassment it creates and negative comments that follow?
XO
Fantastic tips, Kris! Thanks for this post. For me, befriending my fear has been an incredibly useful practice. I’ve been speaking and singing in front of large audiences for 20+ years and I still get nervous before stepping on stage. I’ve come to view the butterflies as friends. The discomfort (which sometimes feels more like downright terror) does not need to be a problem and certainly does not need to stop us from getting out there.
Have been away for awhile but am incredibly happy, but not at all surprised, that you are on top of the world now. You were one of the first people I “followed” and I believe you were just starting ( relatively speaking).. You are an inspiration. Thanks for the tips.
Wow Kris! You’re timing couldn’t have been better. Literally just took a break from prepping for my biggest presentation ever to read this! Thanks for the tips & the encouragement. I’ve even been using tapping – so thanks for the affirmations! xo – Jill
Thank you so much Kris. This article was just the push I needed. Thanks again.
Kris! perfect timing 🙂 I’m going to give my first lecture at a college today. The very program I graduated from 15 yrs ago! When I feel myself getting nervous, I just say, “hey! this is supposed to be fun, remember?! that’s why I’m doing it!” And another thing I tell myself is, “I was born to do this” These seem to calm me down. And funny, sometimes when I present, I don’t feel jittery at all and other times I do. I really think its about how well I am managing life in general at that time.
So happy to hear your tips. thank you, much gratitude and love 🙂
Kimmy! You are spot on when you say “I really think its about how well I am managing life in general at that time.” Sage wisdom. We all need to read that and really take it in. Thanks. xo kc
Wonderful post, Kris. Such useful tips and I can see that you would get a standing ovation. You are very dynamic. I don’t have occasion to speak in front of large audiences all that often (only a couple of times) but I am a regular musical performer and it is similar. Something that helps me is to always remember that the people I am singing for are in fact, well, people! And they are there to hear me sing. It can be intimidating because typically the fear comes from wondering how the audience will find you lacking. I tell myself that there is always someone with a different song, a different style, a different voice that might even be better to someone else, but we cannot all be the same and what we offer to each audience is our own little mark on the world. And it should be fun. There is one opportunity to nail it once we walk out on stage and to remember to give it our all. Thanks for sharing. You always do have wonderful things to say!
Thanks so much, Michele! I love hearing your perspective. xo, kc
This was so helpful! Thanks, Kris!
I’m speaking at my first conference soon, and am already getting a little nervous. Eek! 🙂 The was you shared your information made me feel pretty confident with what I have planned.
Thanks again!
Awesome post, Kris! I started doing talks last year and I have to say that tapping SAVED me. OMG, I do it before every talk! I also went to Brendon Burchard’s World’s Greatest Speaker training and it was amazing!! I learned SO much there. Last, I joined Toastmasters a few months ago and have been learning a ton there too. I too was an extremely shy child…still am very introverted. I don’t know if it’s because now I’m speaking about my passion, or a certain level of maturity that comes with age, but I LOVE getting up in front of a group and talking!
That’s fantastic, Kris! Training & community make such a huge difference in your speaking development—I still go to workshops and find them SO helpful. xo, kc
Kris – Love your tips on speaking and presenting, especially the focus on story telling. It’s a great way to bring your message to life, while engaging the audience. Borrowing from the wisdom of another thought-leader, I tell my clients, “Never make a point without telling a story; and never tell a story without making a point.”
Kathy McAfee
America’s Marketing Motivator
Executive Presentation Coach & Motivational Speaker
Ovarian Cancer Survivor (and Kris Carr FAN!)
Awesome thanks! Telling a (funny) story does help break the ice, and relieves the diaphram muscle! It’s a good reminder to b r e a t h e . . . Deeeep breath . . . aaaah ….
Thankyou! I just drank a bucket of coffee preparing for my first workshop in April #ithoughtiwastheCALMpro and I’ve been procrastinating putting it all together because I’m scared 🙂 (it’s only 10 ppl lol) Today is the day, sending you gratitude x
Right on, Malika! xo
Hi Kris! Always a pleasure to read your inspiring posts! Thank you!
I’m a course lecturer at a university. When I started about 6 years ago, I was terrified. I could prepare until 3am and then cry my way to sleep the night before, cause I was so anxious. Then I would get up at 5am to work a bit more on it, and by the time I was in front of the classroom I was feeling sick. Today I feel much much much better! I’m even looking forward to it (sometimes!).
A few things contributed to make it better:
1) Practicing. The famous “fake it until you get it” seemed to have worked somehow for me. In fact, I needed to “fake it” not for the others (the often knew better than me that I had what I needed to do the job, otherwise they probably wouldn’t have hired me), but it was more for myself, to let go of my fears and accept what I have to share, until I could see it, realize it, accept it, embrace it.
2) Talking to human beings. As you said, knowing the audience is very helpful. But for me what is also helpful, beyond knowing its composition, is remembering that it is made up of other human beings who want the same thing as I do: love, acceptance, belonging. If I have a class, I learn their names, as many as I can, even before the first class (we can see photos and names beforehands). Or, during the first class, I ask everyone to say their names before they speak. Once I know that I am talking to Amanda, Julia, and Sam, all of a sudden I am less scared. If the audience is too large for it or if it is a one-time presentation, I try to talk to people before if I can, or to just remember, once on stage, that these are human beings just like me. And I move to point #3.
3) Seeing it as an exchange. Everyone brings something to the table. We don’t need to know everything, and still we can all bring something new to the table, because we are all unique. I found that showing some vulnerability, such as acknowledging the limits of my knowledge, instead of pretending I know it all, is part of a fair exchange. I often acknowledge that people in the room may know more about me on x or y, but I also don’t shy away from acknowledging that my strenghts is to connect the dots between x and y (for example).
That’s it! Thank you Kris for being an endless source of inspiration everyday since I found your blog, a couple years ago! I am very grateful! Love xx
These are phenomenal tips, Marye! Thank you so much for taking the time to share. xo! kc
Hey Kris!
I feel like I summoned this post! I am preparing to speak at the SXSW conference next week and am flipping out! This was such a lovely, and timely, reminder of how to give a great speech. Thanks soooo much!
Warmest,
Robyn Moreno
Robyn! That’s so awesome. My film premiered at SXSW and spoke there as well. They will LOVE you. A great audience of open minds and hungry hearts. Good luck! xo kc
Thanks Kris. How did you get over your fear of talking in public? When I’m passionate about something and I’m in the zone, I can talk and entertain; however, when I try to force situations, that’s when my ego kicks into overdrive and my mind runs that gauntlet and I begin to shake uncontrollably. Did you go through B-School?