Hiya Gorgeous!
Confession: Sometimes my close friends poke fun at me because I keep my “gone writing” email autoresponder on for weeks (or months!) at a time.
Hey, when you need to lock in some of that precious deep focus time… well, a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do!
One project that took my full focus was the talk I did at UCLA for Oprah’s SuperSoul Sessions (you can watch it below). I was really excited when I got the offer. Without a doubt it was a whole body “yes!” But I was also aware of the kind of mental and physical prep it would take to do a great job. If you’re not familiar with Oprah’s SuperSoul Sessions, they’re sorta like spiritual TED Talks filled with high caliber thought leaders. No chumps allowed—all A game—all the time.
Naturally, I wanted to crush it. And the best way I crush it is to practice my ass off. So I called up my speaking coach and we began sculpting my talk months in advance. We started the process by working with index cards. Each card had a short word or a phrase that triggered a story or led to a teaching.
We went big, tossing out every fun, practical and poignant idea. Note: It’s common to start this process with a hundred or so cards that eventually get reduced to 5-10 must-haves.
We talked about whether I should do something new and fresh, or go with tried-and-true stories and wisdom that I know work. While both options have their merits and challenges, when you’re given a chance to make an impact on a powerful global stage, I think it’s best to do what you know. Do what makes you feel confident. Do what works. That’s my advice and that’s what I did.
But here’s the rub: While I’ve given hundreds of lectures over the years, I’d never done a super short TED talk. And guess what? It’s much harder than you think! No note cards, no chair (mama likes to sit), no slides, nada.
I’m used to 60-90 minutes, which feels like a luxurious meal with the audience. 18-20 minutes? That’s like a spiritual drive-thru. You have to nourish, inspire and distill your message down to snackable nuggets. Think of it like wisdom from concentrate.
Whittling down my message to 1/6th of its usual size wasn’t only challenging, it was a mental stretch too. I’m very visually creative. I see my talks in my head. I picture the bones, muscle and fascia. I thrive in the artistic sinew and so when a section of my creative anatomy gets cut out, it’s almost like I feel unsettled and lost. Translation: I forget where I am.
Pssst… Fearing losing your place and ending up like a deer in the headlights will keep a gal up at night. The solution: more practice. Months of practice. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I put at least 100 hours of work into those 18-20 minutes. Now that may seem like A LOT to most, but that’s the kind of prep I need to rock it when the stakes are high.
So I’m doing the work. Rehearsing in the woods, in the car, in the shower, in my office, Skyping with my coach and it’s all coming together. The haircut is booked. The highlights are scheduled. The dress options are picked out (note: bring two in case of a malfunction or drool). Even the underwear gets an upgrade. Can this bra hold a mic pack under the dress? Better get a stronger one. Do these heels wobble or are they sturdy enough to hold me up while I hold the space in the room? Every detail gets planned—my message, my nails, my makeup. You name it.
Suffice to say, it all came together. Until it fell apart.
Brian and I had rented a house in Venice a few days before the event. We arrived on a Tuesday and the gig wasn’t until Saturday. Plenty of time to adjust to the new time zone and land the plane on my speech prep. Thankfully, one of my best friends, Marie Forleo, was also giving a talk, so the two of us rehearsed together. Marie even rented a theater so we could do a run-through on a real stage.
During said run-throughs, I’m kicking ass and growing more confident by the day. My coach and I do another check-in over Skype, tweak a few more points, cut another chunk for time’s sake. And voila, I’ve got it down to close to 18ish minutes, and I’m on fire. But that’s when the insomnia kicks in. A few nights before the talk, I stop sleeping.
Getting only 3-4 hours per night doesn’t work for me. I begin to get concerned because when I’m tired, I don’t remember anything. Cut to the night before the gig—2 hours of sleep. That’s it. Was I scared? Yes. Did my confidence shrink? Yes. Did I want to chew my own arm off and tell them that unfortunately I couldn’t make it? Yes. Did I go for it anyway? YES!
Thank you for this blog and talk Kris, it was truly inspiring. You radiate such energy and your truth shines through in every word you speak.
I love your openness in sharing the lessons you run toward, and those that leap out of the dark and catch you off guard. It makes us realize we are not alone – and that knowledge is so empowering. Thank you Kris – keep being that magic! x
So well said, Lucy. And thank you! I really appreciate it.
Kris, I just want to say that you’re an amazing, inspirational human being and that your talks, blogs, and everything else you produce are life changing.
Thank you!
Love,
Wilke
Kris, this blog post was so beautiful it moved me to tears. I can’t wait to listen to your actual talk. And of course you were magical…you did the work, you knew you were meant to be there. After that, all you had to do was show up. Reading this just reminded me even more how we all deserve beautiful, magical lives. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
You rock, Sweetheart. Well done. You’ve clearly done your work. You are a dear soul. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being of service to the many others, including myself. xo
Thank you, Carmen! x
It’s such a great talk, I had to share it with all of my dearest friends! Thank you for reminding us that we’re not broken, we don’t need to be fixed. All we need and all we are is love and this is the only truth. THANK YOU SO MUCH, beautiful crazy Kris!
Kris, your story is inspiring and beautiful. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with each and everyone of us. Your courage to talk to that big audience in Super Soul Sessions makes me want to do great things every single day. You always make me feel so good about myself, about my life and about the path I’m here to walk in! It means a lot! Never give up! God bless you always!
Wow. Thank you thank you thank you, Kris Carr. And Oprah. This SuperSoul session is deep. Heart. Much appreciated. Headed out to plant turmeric and ginger on our small farm, a crazy willingness to continue to garden and farm organic, work, and be faithful to our tiny, small efforts. And walk in our woods breathing in beauty. Enough. Really good enough?????
You are so awesome planting ginger and turmeric. Love!!!! I use both every single day!
Thank you for sharing how you prepared for your talk. It was amazing and inspiring and so well delivered. You nailed it! Thanks for being an inspiration and teaching us about life and how to live it from the depths of our being. Keep up the wonderful work.
Thank you Kris for this post and for everything you do, you are a true miracle and so are your tribe, your women friends who also lift my life and give me endless advice and I know them because of you (Aviva Romm, Marie Forleo, Gabbi Bernstein etc.)
I adore you 🙂 and you were magnificent at the speech and humble and powerful at the same time 🙂
Kris
You are beyond inspiring and so very genuine in everything you do. Thank you for being you!
I love you.
I love you back. 🙂
Kris
You were fantastic!! I appreciate your honesty and wonderful ability to connect with us all. You are an amazing person and a true inspiration
Hi Kris,
I just want to say thanks so much for your blog here. As a teacher of A Course in Miracles, I’ve been invited several times to gives talks at the annual Miracles conference in London where 200/300 people attend.
Although I’ve always accepted and given the talks over the years, and even though I’ve always prepared well, like you, I get soooooo nervous!! The last time I thought I was going to faint right before they announced me as the next speaker.
I always SWEAR I’ll never do it again, but I always do because the message of Love and forgiveness is so important to helping people live happier, healthier lives.
It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who can’t sleep and regrets accepting, but then feel so good after. You’ve really inspired me!
You are definitely not the only one! But we both have to keep showing up. 🙂
Kris – you are a rock star and my hero. I watched your video on my front porch in the middle of nowhere and I have you a standing ovation too. 19 year cancer survivor and YOU are a big part of that. Thank you for being a wonderful teacher!
Oh my goodness. This is so timely for me. I think it’s great when your idols tell you like it is for them, everyone is human, right?
You are so inspiring! And I am so grateful to my friend who turned me onto you.
I have a completely different career but recently took a mindfulness class that has been life changing for me. And I want to share it with others! I got permission to present an Intro class at work. Yikes! I am so excited but I do feel that fear and self doubt creeping in. I am going to follow your advice and save this blog post to read everyday.
THANK YOU!
I’ve been quite emotional lately, really working on myself inside and out. I’ve never ever left a comment before. I know, crazy. I just want you to know that you’re a true inspiration. The kind that really digs deep. Thank you so much for being brave and letting your light shine. You’re a beautiful soul, Kris. Truly, Tabitha
Thanks Tabitha. And I’m so glad you left a comment, welcome!
I was there and you rocked it Kris!!! Thank you for putting your heart and soul into your work! It was awesome to hear the prep that went into your presentation. I teach through presentations and it takes a lot of work to make something seem effortless, but it’s easy to convince ourselves that others can just pull it off. I’m living bravely with the knowledge that I am enough. Thank you!
So brilliant and something I’ve struggled with recently as well. Thank you for your authenticity and courage to open up. I think I’m going to add this to my morning routine after I write out my affirmations for the day.
Kris, this post touched me in so many ways…and your talk??? Well, you kicked it! Thank you for sharing the real, the honest, the down and dirty. I love that nature grounds you, I can relate to that so much. You have inspired me for years and I often pass your messages on to my friends. Your message to become CEO of our own body and to accept and love ourselves is exactly what I need to hear…. like daily!! 😉 We are blessed that you chose (and continue to choose) to stand up and share your message. Thank you! xoxo
Thank you Kathy! You guys are my blessing.
Well done!
That was truly an amazing talk! You are an amazing inspiration to all who want to stay healthy and enjoy life no matter what the obstacle. And even if there are no obstacles at the time–thank you for sharing with us how to respect our bodies and give it what it needs to thrive. I just love your books and documentary. 🙂
Kris,
Beautiful, wonderful, inspiring, uplifting, motivational, loving, funny, TALK!!!! Did I leave out any adjectives. You are magnificent! And you made me laugh when I was crying.
#adjectives! 🙂 Thank you Lynn. x
That was so beautiful and inspiring! I am a cancer thriver as well and have you to thank for that!
Absolutely loved your talk. It was worth every second of prep & sleeplessness!
Kris you did it!!!! And my big takeaway was no more excuses to not do or not love!! You actually took the fear out of cancer. Whatever you weaved in that speech actually pulled the curtain back and exposed cancer in a whole new way. It’s not the boogeyman under the bed or hiding in the closet! I am… if I don’t choose to live my life my way!!!! Thank you for a revolutionary speech. You fiercely drove the point home and yet I feel bathed in love and kindness. You couldn’t be more of a parent and an angel here on earth. Love to you.
Wow, Safena! I’m so honored by your takeaway. Right on! Had no idea I was doing that but glad I did LOL. x
Kris, Thank you for sharing your story and for empowering the rest of us through it. Your light radiates, and lights many of us up. Thank you for sharing all you do, you have empowered me to radiate my own light and begin to share it as well.
I don’t need fixing, I need love…..self love. Your talk was so inspiring. I appreciate that you share the human-ness of your experience with all the doubt, fear and insecurity…and you just move forward and Do It! Thank you for sharing yourself.
Self-love is the medicine Ramona. Thanks for appreciating my human-ness. Not always easy to share but when I do it’s amazing to read so many comments from ppl who feel the same way. x
I am in awe watching you and listening to you. I have tears in my eyes as you encourage us to SHOW UP. You make me want to change my diet, but I sure do resonate with the ice cream eating girl. You make me want to wake up and step up. Thank you.
Woot! Showing up rocks. While the ice cream girl may never change (and that’s OK) she just can’t rule the roost. x
Ahhhh Kris – you are incredible, awesome and super fun! I loved you from the moment I first ‘met’ you (somewhere on the internet quite a long time ago 🙂 ). And I love you even more after watching your Super Soul Talk!!! All the prep you did for this talk really paid off – you came across GREAT on stage – very natural, very friendly, very funny and so much fun to listen to… all that alongside a super powerful message! There is no better way to deliver really important stuff than in a package of friendly-non-aggressive-humour-filled energy and you nailed it!!! Well done Beautiful!! Keep shining your light. I honour you and I am honoured to ‘know’ you. Love and Hugs, Nadia xxx
Ah Kris, you always blog what I need to hear.
You’re really brave, and I loved this talk. It brought tears to my eyes! I listen to your videos while I work, they give me a constant stream goodness (and laughs too!) to help me stay on track dealing with a chronic illness while at the same time trying my best to rock a crazy sexy life. I have learned so much from you about health, life, love and … broccoli! Thanks so much for all that you do and congrats on this amazing talk! xo
I’ve been following you since my husband had cancer in 2008, and you have inspired too many ah-ha moments for me to count. Your Super Soul Session talk is so real and so inspiring and sums up why we all love you so much. Thank you for all your hard work to help us see that we are all badasses. You are amazing. xoxo
You are definitely a badass Anne! 🙂
Beautiful Kris, thank you! Fear has plagued me for much of my life and I really needed this message today. I want to live a Crazy Sexy Life while I’m here. I just got a puppy and it has kicked up all sorts of feeling as my heart opens to love this being-that little voice saying “uh-oh you’re falling in love, be careful”. Today I want to accept the terms of life-and love all of it while I am here. So much love to you?
Yes + yay to falling in love with your puppy! That makes me so happy. Let it all in. xo
Thank you so much for sharing. This landed in my inbox at the perfect time (of course!)
You are such a radiant being who inspires through sharing her absolute truth. Thank you!
I happen to have had the great blessing to attend the recent Super Soul Session at UCLA with my sister. It was a truly amazing day, and Kris you were magic!! Big props and much love!
Thank you for being in the audience, Heather. You guys were all so supportive and open. Made it so much easier to get up there! x
Two words: Rock Star!
Beautiful Kris as always. It’s comforting to know even incredible speakers like you get nervous at times too! xx
Kris, Wow! Oh my goodness, Wow! Thank you, Thank you! xoxo
OMG, Kris! Your talk was all you, pure 150% you…and it brought tears to my eyes many times as I listened to you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful soul with so many people. And know that you could have walked onto the stage, fallen down in front of everyone, swore up a storm, had a rip in your dress, and you STILL would have dazzled me, because that’s just who you are…on the inside! xoxo
Gina. You rock! Thank you so much. You just made me laugh my ass off. Glad NONE of those things happen (though I imagined they would and more) but good to know you still would have been dazzled. 🙂 x
This is such a beautiful, poignant and vulnerable sharing of your experience. So spot on, because most likely everyone reading it can relate to how you felt. And of course you rocked it! You ARE pure magic my dear and that little phrase is something i’m going to take to my next mirror meeting. Thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for sharing you with me. With us. Pure magic.
You were brilliant and so funny. I’m 46 this year and absolutely hate the fact of getting old. My diet is up the pole. Your speech made me realise that I’m not living my life to the full. Thank you. You are an inspiration. Love you. Xx
Ruth, I’m 44. We can grow old and fabulous together. 😉 x
46 is not old! I’m 48, and I love getting older, and the wisdom that comes with it! I also look better than I did 25 years ago! You can be old at 20, and young at 80, it all depends on your attitude and Spirit! And ask any 76 year old, and they will tell you old is 93… so you have a LONG way to go yet! 😉 xx
Really good work, nice job! Very inspiring and well said!
That was amazing. Thank you for spreading your light, and for teaching us so many wonderful ways to take care of ourselves.
I had actually just listened to/watched your Super Soul spectacular earlier today, before seeing this blog. You were sensational! Thank you for sharing your truth about your fear. And yes, you are pure magic!
Wow! What an inspiring presentation! Thank you for sharing your story. The beauty and grace of your soul shines right through you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
You inspire me so much! I love your choice of words … shizzle! I’ve really enjoyed your books, I’m so happy they came my way. My best to you!
Every word you wrote here…stunning. You absolutely swoon me Kris Carr. Thank-you for all that you do.
Ha! Thanks Amber. I don’t think I’ve ever swooned anyone before. Glad you’re the first. 🙂
Hahaha! That is just adorable! ??x
Oh Kris, you are so adorable – I love you to death! Or . . . oops . . . not literally to death. In any case, you’re soooo right, and you make my day, which is what you do every time I “drop by” to see what you have to share. Your life experience, the way you’ve chosen to respond to it, makes you what you are today. For me, that’s a super fun, intelligent, wonderful, crazy, sexy, sister. You are an amazing sister to all the women of the world, and an inspiration to all!!
Gail! Thank you, what you said means the world to me. 🙂 x
Thank you, Kris! You’re a lady boss role model. Thanks for sharing your journey & being an amazing teacher about healthy food and healthy living.
Thanks Amie! Love, Lady Boss 🙂
Kris, I am inspired and awed by your strength and moxie. I hope to model half of what you’ve shown in your lifetime to my little ones. Keep shining you bright, beautiful diamond. Xoxo