Emotional Health

Secrets to Cultivating a Happier Life

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Hiya Gorgeous!

Tis the season of gratitude and this year I’m particularly thankful for my understanding and commitment to nourishing my energy, creativity and joy.

The more I get to know myself, the more I recognize what’s good for my system and what isn’t—and I don’t just mean food.

When you know this about yourself, the choices you make become so clear.

If I wouldn’t eat baloney, because it’s frickin’ bad for me, why the heck would I fill my body with other poisons that stress me out?

Hang with me, you’ll see what I mean in a minute.

During the Healing Cancer World Summit, you heard me talk about the idea that self-care is healthcare. Well, self-care is also about self-honoring. Listening to the voice within that says, “go to bed earlier, don’t drink another one, decline that invitation, stand up for yourself and your community, give those pants away—they’re too tight and they make you feel lousy, take the day off and play,” etc.

As my self-honoring practice deepens, I’m more conscious of the energy I allow in my space. I trust that my happiness is often a choice. It’s an inside job and like any other job I’ve ever had, I have to work at it to be successful. Sure, sometimes happiness is spontaneous and that’s wonderful. But often times it doesn’t just come to me. It’s an environment I consciously cultivate (or not!).

When I’m consistently out of alignment with my joy, it can be a sign that I’ve veered off track.

Perhaps I started to doubt or judge myself. Or maybe I decided to say nasty stuff about myself or something like that. The truth is, I may not be able to choose my first thought or action, but I can always choose my second one. I can choose to come back home to my happiness and true nature—love. Love for myself, love for others, love for the planet and all the sentient beings. Love.

Now this doesn’t mean that outside forces, injustices and tragedies don’t happen, they do (like, all the time). And you bet your ass they can greatly impact our joy or make it harder to reach. In those situations, we may even feel like happiness is only available for the lucky few. That’s when we really need to use our personal tools to return to optimism. Because above all else, hope is the engine for change.

So what does working at a joyful, creative life look like?

For me, it’s boils down to awareness. Being conscious of what fills my happiness tank and what drains it. The more mindful I am, the easier it is to close the gap and shorten the recovery time between what I’m doing that separates me from joy and what I need to do to get back into alignment. It’s a practice and some days I’m much better at it than others.

There are lots of ways to do this, but here are a few steps that are helping me now.

6 Tips for Living a More Joyful and Creative Life

1. Count your blessings.

You’ve heard this one a million times, so why not hear it a million and one?! It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have, to compare ourselves to others and feel like we’re coming up short. But the best way to stop that fear-based thinking is to continually reflect on what you’re grateful for. Years ago I learned that Oprah keeps a gratitude journal by her bed. Each night, before she goes to bed, she writes down 10 things she’s grateful for. Because this is a daily practice, she consciously goes about her day looking for blessings. Talk about a happiness booster! Can you imagine cruising around like a gratitude astronaut? Every cell in your body would smile. And not for nothing—Oprah’s life is pretty rad. If she inspires you, why not take a page out of her book and model some of the key behavior that got her where she is today? Just sayin’!

2. Create before you consume.

This idea came from my best friend, Marie Forleo. On one of our weekly Skype chats we mused on how to protect our muses. We agreed that reading someone else’s work before we create can sometimes throw us off. So while I enjoy learning, being inspired and seeing what other brilliant folks are up to, I have to take care of my artist first. For me, that means writing. For you, it could be something else. Bottom line: Your creativity is a direct line to your divinity, so honor your muse first.

3. Take a 30 for 30 approach to the news.

You may not know this about me, especially because I rarely bring politics into my work, but I’m a political junkie. In fact, not only am I obsessed with what’s going on in the world, I also come from a long line of politicians, on both sides of my family. My great, great (lots more greats) grandfather was a Governor and Senator of Ohio, the sixth Chief Justice and the Secretary of the Treasury. While on the other side of my family, my great, great uncle was the Governor of New York and Secretary of Commerce under President Harry S. Truman.

My point is, like it or not, politics runs in my veins. But, I also know how toxic it can be, especially today. While I don’t want to disengage, I do need to know my energetic limits. That’s why I recently put myself on a challenge (after I voted during the midterms, of course!).

I’m calling this challenge the 30 for 30 and here are the rules: You can only spend 30 minutes per day actually reading the news (not watching paid talking heads or faux entertainment) for 30 days. You absorb it all in one setting, which means you can’t hit the internet lever multiple times per day. This is super important for me because I treat my news apps like sugar cookies at Christmas time—I can’t walk away! If you’ve got a similar addiction, this challenge may help. Feel free to shorten the amount of time if you want, just avoid spreading it out over multiple sessions because that’ll dilute the purpose. I’m less agitated and sleeping better while still knowing the facts. Try it!

4. Unfollow people and organizations that dim your vibe.

As part of the challenge I mentioned above, I also unfollowed a bunch of folks. Nothing personal, they’re amazing people and organizations, I just needed a break. Either I wasn’t enjoying the content, it was turning too negative or I was feeling bad about myself for unhealthy reasons. The point is that when I did a gut check, my gut told me to unfollow—so I listened and you should too. Your body is the best social media manager out there!

5. Honor Sacred Sundays.

Because I own my own business, sometimes I’m sneaky and decide to “just get a jump on the week ahead” by spending time working on Sunday. That may sound like a responsible idea, but for me it’s not, especially because I’m not great at knowing my limits around work. I love what I do and I also have a lot to do! An unhealthy combo for someone like me who has addiction issues and unhealthy boundaries around this area. Plus, if I don’t recharge—especially on Sunday—I’m far less stress-resilient during the week. Sundays are for the soul, they’re for the muse and the woods. Sundays are for cooking, journaling (gratitude lists!), eating vegan tacos with friends and watching Game of Thrones. Sundays are for fires, calling my parents, reading beautiful words and checking in with my bestie.

6. Give.

I’ll be honest, I’m not great at receiving, but I sure love to give. And for me, that means supporting animal charities. Nothing makes me happier than going through my end of year finances so I can see what’s left for my furry and feathered friends. Just FYI: Giving Tuesday is coming up. It’s a perfect time to throw a few bones over to an organization that inspires you. Why? Because many businesses do matching fundraisers on this special day, which makes your contribution that much more impactful. The company you work for, your local grocery store or favorite place to online shop may even have something planned!

I hope these tips help you honor your precious self during this busy, chaotic time of year. Because there will always be to-dos to check off, people to see and errands to run—but we all need the chance pause and reconnect to ourselves.

For me, that means consciously monitoring the types of energy I’m letting into my sphere and taking extra time to flex my creative muscles. For you, it might be something different. Whatever it is, remember that you know what’s best for you. Listen to that voice.

Your turn: I’m curious, how do you cultivate joy? Or what are you grateful for this year? Answer whatever question you’re moved to share. I’d love to know!

Peace and alignment,

Add a comment
  1. Laura Ramos says:

    THE LAST ONE!!! As an animal rescuer myself, I love everything that means supporting those who gets their hands dirty into helping those in need. Thank you for promoting Giving Tuesday and everything saving animals-related.

  2. Shannon says:

    I was encouraged after reading how to preserve my joy! Thankyou Kris❣
    I loved the 30 for 30 & don’t know anyone that couldn’t benefit from only doing something for 30 minutes & then go onto something new.
    I see a lot of tired people that just sit on their computers till they can barely focus.
    They/we can consume a entire day on one task & other things or people miss out on us.
    You live what you teach Kris & I Love how you honor yourself & others.

  3. Holly says:

    my husband died this summer and I have struggled to find the joy in anything. what has helped me the most is the presence and slowing down that grief requires. I look for signs and support in nature. my children and I have also immersed ourselves in giving in ways that emulate his life, Love, legacy and journey with graft versus host disease.

  4. Kit says:

    I love the 30 got 30 …. thank you. I’m affition to sacred Dunday (when I spend time on a trail
    And art studio) I also begin my day with 10 mins of sitting (sometimes meditation but alwats just listening and I end my day dancing in my living room or hula hooping which releases seratonin. I recently put myself through an exercise where I paid attention to how I felt and my body when I saw certain Instagram accounts… If I felt competitive, negative self talk, or any other kind of toxic energy… I unfollowed without a second thought .
    But I also held myself accountable for what was going o. Emotionally. ?
    Thank you for being awesome!

  5. Jessica Skarin says:

    You truly inspire, and put forward, the importance of connecting with yourself. There is great peace and balance in that. And then that’s what you give to others.

    Much love :-)//Jejja in Sweden

  6. Lezley says:

    Kris … THANKYOU. I am on the journey of witnessing God heal ovarian cancer in me that had spread to other organs as well. The last 6 months has been a very interesting time going from being told I would die in 9 months , 15 months if I did treatment to being cancer free. Counting my blessings thru this all has been what has kept me alive. In whatever situation we find ourselves in there is always goodness in it. It’s a choice to connect to it or not . I am so thankful for this awareness …this whole journey , life … Is an inside job I agree. I love your emails… They are about living . Be blessed… Lezley.

  7. vic says:

    Great advice Kris – Thank you so much!

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours – I’m so thankful for YOU!

    I’m originally from Ohio – what was your (so many greats) grandfather’s name?

  8. Rita says:

    I am certainly grateful for you Kris! Your words are so helpful to me! Such inspiration. Oh and I am grateful for the shiny twin gear juicer I got early for christmas this year! I love juicing! Hopefully one day I can get my health to a better place and do more with my art! I want to create an interactive art exhibit entitled how to nurture unconditional self-love! That is my dream! Big hug to you Kris! You are one of my favorite teachers in the whole wide world!

    • kris says:

      I’m glad this resonated with you, Rita! Also YAY about your new juicer. There’s nothing quite like a fresh, homemade juice to make you feel refreshed and energized. Your art exhibit sounds amazing… Can’t wait to see the amazing things you do 😉

  9. Bella says:

    Dear Kris, it is the perfect time for a post like this, while the saisonal winter drepression is grapping after my joy. How I cultivate it? By reminders like yours. Thank you for that. I practicing, trying to make the choice: not investigate in negativ thoughts, worry or anxiety, don’t believe the demons that focus on my issuses while compare myself to others. Instead I try to focus on gratitude and what is worth to happy for, is worth to fill my thoughts with.

    • kris says:

      The winter blues can be tough, Bella—I’ve been there. I have something about Seasonal Affective Disorder comin’ your way next week. Stay tuned!

  10. Mary Simpson says:

    I feel joy with my children and Grandson . They are the greatest gifts I have . I am grateful also for finding you on social media and all the good advice you give .

  11. Caterina Lunghis says:

    I just love you Kris.. for 1, and 5! and 2. Our world need more Krisses, so God bless you, your courage and your love, always. Hugs, Caterina

  12. Judy&bitty&family says:

    Loving Bitty (below) n sweet pea n dolly n ernie as best i know how…(n meowy,bootsie n cookie)

    Grateful for how you all..Kris you are thee most beautiful n sparkly unicorn Goddess ever (yes this is what i see in you) so eloquently sprinkling your colorful magical healing balm with graceful honesty…sooo graceful it seems easy…
    Ps not sure if you’ll receive the extra thank you from bitty but she says thank you too…super cute video to share of ernie trying to get near her toy…#reallife…bitty’s boundaries are clear ..til ernie wants his turn.. just pray they feel just as much joy being here..since truly loving means loving and taking proper care of mommy first…

    Also feel joy in resolving misunderstandings…since have began clearing up the ginormo one w self aka this gargoyle like mego…still working n listening to Louise saying ‘we dont need anymore anger’ huge and your article about self acceptance…its been a number of years but finally noticed my inner self and heart about to collapse from exhaustion after oh so much time waving the white flag just waiting on me to just notice …so i can experience some peace and stop choosing senseless turmoil
    ? thank you sparkly unicorn goddess..we love you and all of your glitter n crazy sexy revolution

    • kris says:

      Sending you and your entire sweet family love, Judy! That negative self-talk can be tough to kick, so I hope you’ll remember to pause and thank yourself for working on it. xo!

  13. Janice Kuczinski says:

    Good Morning Kris,
    How are you? I hope your dad and family are well. This is the time of year for special thanks so with that said you are my Oprah and your words from your personal experiences are inspiring to me and many people all over the world.

    Finding a way to more happiness every day is acceptance, work and a bit of guilt as you know that choices need to change for oneself, other people, ( and some who we love) media and just life’s many habitual challenges.

    I will continue to follow your journal of advice as you have given just as much as Oprah if not more to continue to help my soul be absorbed with
    Peace Happiness Health & Love…..

    Happy Thanksgiving and many blessing to you and your family.

  14. Thank you, Kris! That was a great boost to my already awesome day… I woke up today, feeling so so determined ( it was so funny how determined I was that I cracked up as soon as I got out of bed) to have fun, right here, right now. I spoke with monkeys, I cracked up during yoga, I bounced up and down through my chores and hoppped around all day, looking partly drunk and hoola – crazy. My head was all, “What are you doing??!!!” Because this pattern of living is so off my usual way of getting through the day.
    Why I gave you this huge account of my day was,
    All those crazy determined all over the place thoughts about joy forever more came knocking at my inbox in the form of your email and I am so thrilled about that!!!
    Love your work!

  15. Diane Divita says:

    Dearest Kris: today’s email is just what I needed. I recreated my fears about the cancer thing, even though I am cancer-free. Reading about particular stages and survival rates DID NOT help my psyche. I am retraining my brain and working on mindfulness to stop hooking into dark thoughts and erroneous information. I begin with gratitude. Thank you!

    • kris says:

      I know how scary the stats (and the thoughts that come along with them!) can be. I’m so glad you’re working on taking care of yourself. Gratitude is a wonderful place to start! Sending you lots of love.

  16. Thank you Kris for this beautiful post on living a more joyful, creative life. It is my primary intention each day. One thing I do that has helped me tremendously is to BE NICER TO MYSELF. If I can’t seem to find a better feeling thought instead of beating myself up (because I know I should) I say “it’s okay honey, I love you no matter how you feel, I’m not going to abandon you”. This connects me back to how my Divine Self feels about me and softens the vibration. It makes me feel better immediately.

    • kris says:

      Isn’t it crazy how tough we can be on ourselves, Ingrid? I love your saying—I’m going to try that next time I need to silence the mental meanies! Thanks for sharing and sending you lots of big hugs!

  17. Gloria Thomas says:

    Kris, you give me the hope I need at this stage. The cancer has come back for a third time. I had a scan today and will hear the results on Thursday but I have been quite fragile and prone to get angry over nothing.
    I rely on your meditations to relax me in the morning and at night. Thank you. I love your positive attitude and try to read and remember all the positive advice you give. I am working on your ideas and will start with the news which I hear on three channels in Australia and then often CNN as well.

    • kris says:

      I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time, Gloria. I know how hard this must be. Remember to be gentle with yourself as you navigate these challenges—you deserve love and understanding. Sending you hugs and healing energy. xo!

  18. Thank you, Kris, for your supportive and loving voice. You speak directly to my heart!

  19. Maria says:

    Kris, I love this blog. And it’s so interesting that you shared about your political family. So interesting. I was diagnosed in July 2016 with DCIS (Stage 0 Breast Cancer). I found you later but in November of that year, politics changed. I was involved until March of 2017. I was too distracted. I want to save others instead of saving myself. So while I have not found joy or am living my fullest life (although I’ve been CSY-ing since June 2017), I have been living in a TEMPORARY NEWS BLACKOUT. I canceled all News Alerts that I could on my phone, and now through light emails and FB posts, I see what’s happening. This has been a HUGE relief for my soul. I have a long way to go. Really. But I realize that the news blackout has been one radical way I can PUT ME FIRST. Now the more gentle ways need to come through.
    Thanks for this post.

    • kris says:

      So glad you’re taking this time to care for yourself and nourish your soul, Maria. There’s nothing wrong with being passionate, but it’s good to know when you’ve reached your limit and need a break. xo!

  20. Alison says:

    This email comes at a particularly important time for me. I’ve begun to just do the things I want. That give me joy. This past Sunday I facilitated a Meditation Reiki Circle. I had the vision and had been holding back but then…there I was. I opened it up to people and they came. It was exactly how I envisioned it and more. So yes, do what brings you joy! It all comes together.

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