Hiya Gorgeous!
Exactly 16 years ago this week, I got the scariest news I could imagine—and yet, this news ultimately changed my life for the so-much-better.
If you’re new to my story, on Valentine’s Day 2003, I was diagnosed with a rare and incurable stage IV cancer.
Even after a decade and a half, I STILL have trouble wrapping my mind around it. I mean… If you didn’t know me, you’d probably never guess that I’ve already far outlived the 10 years my docs predicted.
So much has changed for me since the day that ultimately reset my entire life.
I radically changed my diet and lifestyle and shared my journey and lessons along the way.
I fell in love and got married. Left New York City for fresh air and mountain living in Woodstock. I started my own business and dedicated the last 16 years to teaching others how to take back their health and their power—while also caring for the planet and animals.
Cancer made all that happen. It woke me up and shook me to pieces, and yet it taught me how to put myself back together stronger.
Cancer also rocked my world for the second time when my amazing dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Many of you “met” him in my film Crazy Sexy Cancer or you listened to his powerful message in our interview for The Healing Cancer World Summit a few months ago.
Since that time, my dad has had a few setbacks, including a recurrence and another surgery. He’s doing much better now—which is our biggest blessing. But more than the condition of his health, it’s my dad’s brilliant and resilient spirit that continues to be my teacher. (Love you, dad!)
So as I reflect on another cancerversary, I’m actually filled with gratitude.
Cancer sucks, don’t get me wrong. But it’s “gifted” me with this constant reminder that life does not last forever—for ANY of us.
Before my diagnosis, I was flailing in certain areas. As much as I’d love to change that part of my personal story, there’s SO MUCH good to be found in it.
And since it’s part of my life, I’m determined to wring every last lesson from it—and share those nuggets with you. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is this:
Life is NOW. Don’t wait it away.
Want to take a belly dancing course? Go for it!
Go to Italy and swim in the healing sea? There’s a sale on plane tix and bikinis!
Want to write a book, a song, a poem? Get going!
Teach yoga? I’d love to take your class!
Launch your own line of vegan treats for pets, become a midwife? Yes, please!
Or maybe you want to slow down, get off the hamster wheel and live simpler. Permission granted!
Yes, I know all too well that this is easier said than done… As a kid, I was so fearful and timid. I know, that may be hard to believe, but I’m an introvert in extrovert’s apparel.
My mom was (and is) fearless. When I was young, she had a successful corporate gift business. I’d tag along with her to industry trade shows where we’d check out the latest products in the gift industry, including gourmet food, jewelry, home decor, stationary—you name it.
Many of the exhibitors offered samples of their goods to attendees. If there was something that caught my eye, I’d try to get my mom to ask them for a sample.
No way.
My mom was firm. “Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there” she said. “If you want it, you need to get up there and ask. They won’t bite, the worst they can say is ‘no.’” And “no” to my mom is just a slight detour telling you to find another way.
So here’s this shy kid in the midst of all these business owners representing some major buying power… talk about feeling out of my league!
Over time, though, I learned that she was right. If I was willing to ask, folks were often willing to give. If I didn’t ask, though, I didn’t grow. So I took my mom’s lesson to heart and stretched myself.
Cut to my diagnosis, I realized that as brave as I thought I was, I was still playing small. I might have “grown up,” but I was still that timid little girl, afraid to step up, ask questions, push back when needed and ultimately own my power.
There’s nothing like a cancer diagnosis to light a fire under you.
I looked at my life and resolved to live big and true to myself, no matter how scared I got. I simply didn’t have the time to put anything off.
Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed… for ANYONE. So if you have a dream (and I know you do…), get a move on, oh magical one!
Everyone has something special stirring inside… A passion to do/be/have/give/create something—or to take what exists and make it better with their own special sauce. Yum!
I’m here to tell you, if you’re pulled to something greater in your life, you owe it to your wonderful self and the world to go after it!
And if you’re scared to try, for fear you’ll fail, listen to the advice my dad gave me when I was 15 years old and afraid to sing at my school recital. He told me to take a deep breath and silently whisper two words to myself: “Fuck it”—then get out there and sing!
There are no safety nets. No guarantees. Sometimes we’ll fall down, but when we do, we gotta get up and try again. The people, animals and planet need us too.
I hope my story, with all of its up and downs, inspires you. But I’m not the only one with lessons to share. You are a juggernaut of sunshine and talent. So seize the day, take all your so-called lemons and make champagne.
Squeeze every moment of the ride while you have breath in your body and fire in your heart.
Your turn: What’s something you’ve learned from life’s challenges, twists and turns? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!
Peace and living big,
This really resonated with me. In February of 2018 my doctor, on accident, caught a genetic fault in my heart. My surgeon said I had about a year left to live. I had my aorta and aortic valve replaced with a mechanical sleeve and valve. I didn’t think it was possible for me to have serious health issue because I exercised every day and ate a plant based diet. Before surgery I took life for granted. Now, as I hear my repaired heart and mechanical valve click, I know life is too short and too delicate. Not only am I still working on my physical well being but my mental well being now too. I never realized how important mental health was. So my surgery had a big impact on my life. Not only did the surgery save my life, but it “saved me”.
Thank you for sharing this, Mark. It’s not easy to look beyond the anger/confusion/overwhelm that come along with challenges like these and see the lesson, but you’ve done that. Your positivity and kind soul shine so bright. Love ya!
Perhaps your FDad would benefit from Oncothermie? It’s been around in Europe for over 35 years but people find out about via word of mouth but it is now on the US and in Canada. Check it out.
I love your story! You are beautiful! You are a wonderful model? Mentor & spokeswoman for others out there! Keep up the good work!
YOU are beautiful, Alyce. xo!
Happy Sweet 16 to you Kris you truly are a blessing and my inspiration I am so grateful to you for your plant based diet meditating magic and juicing. all of these amazing things have been so helpful to me. Thank you again for all that you do beautiful amazing Lady ?
You’re so sweet, Marie. So grateful for you! xo
You are amazing Kris… a true inspiration to the world and to those who follow you no matter what you come up to… because we know ITS USUALLY AMAZING STUFF. Happy Cancerversary. Thank you for being so brave and teaching us so much. Thank you for standing for what you believe in, ANIMALS INCLUDED. Love, Laura
Thank you right back, Laura. So glad you’re here. Big hugs!
My biggest lesson – you are in charge of your thoughts. You don’t have to listen to them and you can change them to positive ones.
YES, Brenda! Your comment makes me think of a great quote I saw the other day: “Did you really have a bad day or did you have an hour of letting negativity run freely through your mind? You run this shit, pay attention.” That’s not to say we don’t encounter REALLY tough stuff in life (and we need to let ourselves feel that and process in a gentle way), but we do have incredible power over how we handle our thoughts. Thank you for bringing this into the conversation. MWAH!
nice inspiration msg by you..god bless you
? bless ya right back!
Wow. This post came into my mailbox at just the right moment. I am seventy – feel younger. : ) I, too, had cancer twenty years ago. I lost my sister to leukemia when she was fifty, years ago. Your message was a “refresher” course for me and brought it all back. – we are not here forever. Anyway, I retired from a great career in NYC three years ago to live in SC near my son and his family (my two grandsons) and have had a hard time adjusting to life in the South., along with retirement – I feel like I do not have a purpose. I have a son and grandson in Northern California. My son has remarried to a great gal who has a little girl. In three weeks they are expecting a little baby girl. I have always loved NoCal and for the past unhappy year here have tossed around the idea of moving out there. They will need some childcare help and I volunteered. Well, yesterday I had an offer on my house here. Thing is, I bought a small motor home and will have to drive it across the country – which has always been my dream. If I manage to pull this together at seventy it will be a miracle! If I do not try this, I will continue to spend my days on the couch in front of the tv – that’s all I do here. Do not see my family much here (kids are getting older) and they are busy and I have not made any friends. Suburban life is not for me. I miss NYC, but returning is not an option and I have always, always had a gut feeling that I would wind up in California. I also found out yesterday that my doctor/niece will be moving from AZ to practice in LA – which is a flight away from NoCal. Am I crazy!?! How on earth do I pull off the challenge of this move?!?! I am both excited and frightened, but I really am unhappy here and am afraid of getting comfortable with my misery and and becoming complacent and contented. Help!
Dear Doris, It amazes me how many of us stand on the edge of the cliff, afraid to leap, but also afraid to get stuck in a place that doesn’t feed the soul. Your post has reminded me about being brave, about letting go of the need to know the outcome before I begin. Yes, it feels overwhelming, but I suspect you have a whole army of like minded souls who have read your post and feel called to take a risk in some way. I send you (and Me!) blessings and prayers that we can stand in a place of strength and faith, and do what our hearts call us to do. I’m rooting for you!
Amen, Rosemary! Mwah!
Doris, reading your message filled me with so much joy and gratitude for you. I know you’re facing a big decision, but your bravery and adventurous spirit shines through like a beacon. Whatever you do, you always have that with you. Can’t wait to hear what’s next for you, sweetheart. XO!
You already know what to do. Blessings and beautiful adventures to you.
Dear Doris, Sounds to me like the universe has lined up everything for you. You are definately not crazy!!!
– they will need some childcare help. – had an offer on my house. – drive motor home across country – which has always been my dream. – always, always had a gut feeling would wind up in California. – doctor/niece moving to LA. – post came in to mailbox at just the right moment. – am really unhappy here.
Sending love and support to you! You deserve to be happy!
Dear Doris, You can do this! I am turning 69 in two days. I’ve had a wonderful life with a wonderful husband and two loving sons…one in San Francisco (where I grew up) and now one in Tampa FL. The Tampa couple are expecting in August (our first grandchild). We are over the moon with excitement. My husband and I have lived full-time in our fifth wheel (trailer) for the past five years and loved every minute. We couldn’t wait to get back to the West after living in MA for 18 years. I fell in love with me in the process. Everywhere we went, campers were friendly and helpful. We climbed 14,000′ mountains, hiked in the desert, explored Indian reservations, took eight weeks to explore the coast of OR, etc., etc. Now we are invited to live near our son and new family in Tampa. It’s another adventure finding a home that is a long way from our beloved mountains but we are working out how to do both…winter in FL and summer in CO. I will think of you while getting yourself across the country and settling in CA. Southern CA, although I’ve never lived there, has gems waiting to be discovered; Northern CA is still my favorite and I’m glad for you. You will find a way!! Family has become more of a delight than ever, getting to know two amazing women and how they truly love our sons. Books on “tape” are the way to cross the Midwest…we listened to Centennial. Be sure to ask fellow camplers about any maintenance issues on your camper and plan your route weeks/months in advance and be willing to change those plans with adventure in mind. Give yourself a day of rest after a day of travel. I learned Zentangle to keep me occupied during the quieter moments, then gave away each tile to the delight of receivers. Oh, I could keep going on ’cause I’m excited for you. You are not crazy!! You are not meant to be still every day. Love your walking shoes, your hiking boots and walking sticks. Smile as you greet each day with the unknown in front of you! Much love, Lynnae. BTW, Kris, thank you for sharing your journey and putting yourself out there so beautifully. So many people feel the love from your efforts!!
This is unicorn-piñata-full-of-sparkley-fabulousness exactly what my heart was asking me to read today! Thank you!!
I was sharing with a young colleague a couple things I’ve learned along the way of a life committed to ‘making a difference’ and experiencing heart issues and burn out along the way … life is always loving us. Even in my most terrifying, life-scarring, death-nearing moments … there was a tremendous gift, sometimes wrapped in barb wire, but always waiting for me. The gift of my own strength or a deepening of compassion. Freedom from the future or the past. The ability to deeply appreciate and cultivate joy in my life. A call to rise.
So when things are difficult, I’ve leaned into asking “how is life loving me through this …” and usually within 48 hours an answer appears. Because that’s another lesson I’ve learned … rather than fretting or worrying which causes constriction, I’ve learned to ask questions which creates space. A sense of expansiveness. And into that space the answer rises up. Usually within 48 hours.
Another big lesson was to listen to the ‘heart whispers” or else my heart will have to shout in some big way to get me the message. I’ve been pushing with work and ‘writing on the side’ planning to relaunch my support to WholeHearted Changemakers (people who care for a living and live to care) so they can be on fire with their purpose, not burnt out. Because we are all needed. If we care about an issue, it’s because we have a part to play in changing it.
This post was a stirring YES back to me to continue! Thank you!!! My bestie is an absolute wholehearted fan of yours … and I understand why. You are genuine and joyful and real with a whole lot of sparkle in your hair and mud between your toes. A lovely mix of miracles and practicals. So grateful I opened your email and read this post! Thank you for sharing!
Very well said and your post really hit close to home. If you read my post below, I am faced with yet (another) life dilemma. My heartstrings tell me to make this move – and the universe has sent me so many messages telling me that this move is right for me, but as an aging human, I am just plain scared. Need to take that deep, deep breath and pull things together. Expand!
Asha… I can’t thank you enough for your beautiful and thoughtful comment. It brought a big grin to my face. Sending you lots of love (and all of that sparkly unicorn goodness!!) – xo
I’ve learned that Spirit is always with me so I will always be ok! TRUST
Thanks for sharing your journey, Kris.
Trust is everything, Brenda. Mwah!
dear kris, i overcame my manic-depression, and a severe stroke. i now realize there’s a god who’s arrancing everything for the better.
Sending you lots of love and big hugs, pim. xo
Love you so much….thank You.. I had cancer and it helped me to find and express myself… when I asked myself and God why cancer I heared it is because you will help others…i didn’ t understand how will I help others but I have so much fire in me to teach others about nutrition, emotions, afirmations and joy and happines of life..and with small steps I am doing that..?
Thats wonderful, Sandra. Can’t wait to hear all about where those small steps take you. I know it’s gonna be beautiful. xo!
Kris,
Thank you for these beautiful messages!
Yay! Thank you for sharing your healing journey with the world! I celebrate you and your achievements!
I am a firm believer that there are no accidents in this life. Things happen and we have the right and ability to influence how we deal with a situation.
One door closes and a more magnificent one opens. Sometimes it takes awhile for the new door to appear and open but it always does.
-14 years I gave birth to a sweet little soul, Jasper Cherub. He died after 26 days.
Every day I learn something new from my time with Jasper and the whole experience of having a vision that was void of what I had envisioned.
I am so full of love and gratitude! Everything makes us who we are.
*Beautiful blessings to you and your dad!
❤️
MM
Meghan, your spirit is so inspiring. Thank you for being here, for sharing your story and light with us—we’re so lucky to have you! xo
Kris very inspirational. Needed to hear this and to hear how to get there. ???❤️
Glad this came at the right time for you, Sue. Big hugs!
Love your positive energy!!! Your words…”There is nothing like a cancer diagnosis to light a fire under you,” speaks to my life story…except it was not my diagnosis…but still cancer almost got the best of me…until it didn’t! Instead I started an organic superfood production company, Naked Baking Ladies to bring organic superfood products to the food market…foods with the optical nutritional benefits…so we can Eat Better and Be Better…People always ask why I got naked, and the short answer is because I had to…There is something about hearing your child has cancer and then discovering your husband has breast cancer, that makes you want to strip down to nothing and find the answers. I was lucky, I found the answers, actually in the kitchen, and that’s where I have been for the past twenty-seven years… discovering the power of food…and myself at the same time. But sometimes we get lost looking for answers…thank you Kris for being our guide! Your words are my compass!! Happy Life Day! xo
Finding answers in the kitchen… I can relate to that, Marci! Your story is inspiring—thank you for sharing it here (and for sharing your beautiful spirit with the world!). Sending you and your family my love. xo
Hi Kris –
I have been following you for years since 2010 after the death of my Mom from stage IV lung Cancer. I am now suffering from hyperthyroid with two sizeable nodules on my Thyroid. I started my all plant based diet two weeks ago. Do you have any advice for me regarding hyperthyroidism? The doctors are talking about surgery in April. I would appreciate any information you can provide me.
Hi Barbara. Sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time right now. I did write this post on thyroid health: https://kriscarr.com/blog/thyroid-health-symptoms-hypothyroidism-hyperthyroidism/, which may be a good resource to check out. I hope that helps and sending you lots of healing energy! xo
This is definitely a motivating post. I know there is something out there that is bigger than me, and I have so many dreams I just don’t know where to start!
Start where you are and listen to your gut, Lindsay! I know it might not always send a crystal clear message, but it’s usually got something important to say. Sending you lots of love!
Happy sweet 16 Kris! I am so so grateful for you and all the work you do on behalf of the Joyful Society. I am learning to live my life authentically and with great determination as you have taught me since knowing your story. Not every day is unicorns and sprinkles but there is always a little space for gratitude and love. Be well and rock on sistah!
That’s a perfect way to put it, Kathleen. Joy is about appreciating those little moments as much as the big ones. Thanks for the reminder! xo
Ive learned that relationships, connection, and love are everything. I naturally have prioritized this in my life. When I was diagnosed with cancer, it was like every ounce of love I put out there came back to me 10 fold. It is amazing, beautiful, and moving. I love you, Kris! You are such an inspiration!
You’re inspiring, Jen. Thank you for sharing your lesson… it’s an important reminder to us all. Sending you allllll of my love!
Happy Tears Dear Kris – I have followed you since I “met” you after watching your documentary on TLC. You have no idea how many lives you’ve touched and saved. You truly are my hero! God bless you and bless you and your family as well. I will keep your dear dad in my prayers. Thank You – for all that you have done and continue to do for so many – people, pets, planet.
My dear Kris! Happy Sweet 16! What a day to celebrate life and love: Valentine’s! This year I am throwing a big party on Valentine’s day to celebrate my divorce! Yay! It’s all good, no worries – everybody is happy! Here is what I have learned since March 19, 2011 – my sober birthday: In recovery, every day is a holiday. This is my motto. I have written two books on recovery from addiction and depression and I couldn’t agree more with you that to seize the day, to squeeze it to the max and to enjoy every minute is the only way to live our own legend. I am among your most devoted followers and seeing your name in my inbox makes my heart sing with joy. Keep being, Sweetheart!
Alma, your party sounds like a blast—talk about turning lemons into CHAMPAGNE! Your positivity is infectious… please keep sharing it with the world. xo!
You’re MY hero, Vic. Thank you for your beautiful comment—I can’t tell you how much your support means to me. MWAH!