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The power of unconditional acceptance

October 22, 2012|135Comments|


Hi Friend,

Once upon a time, I wanted to be a movie star, a fancy photographer, a pilot. I wanted to dance on Broadway (I did). I wanted my film, Crazy Sexy Cancer, to win an Emmy (it didn’t). I’ve wanted a lot of things. Some stuff I got, others I didn’t.

Like many folks, I’ve had multiple careers, five to be exact. Then, I settled into writing and chatting with you. To be honest, I like this career the best. Why? Because it challenges me to be real, authentic and vulnerable. Those squishy qualities can be spooky to share, especially publicly. After all, everyone wants to be liked. But as I approach ten years of living Crazy Sexy style and yet another book launch, what I know in my bones is this: The more I accept who I truly am, the more I shine like a diamond. This is true for you too.

Chew on this concept with me: It’s OK to accept myself unconditionally.

Here’s your affirmation: I love and accept myself exactly the way I am.

It hurts my heart to reflect back on the multiple times in my life when I felt like I wasn’t “good enough.” I was so very hard on myself. I felt like I had to jump through hoops to be loved and appreciated. Rarely was I at peace with my efforts. I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached hundreds of women who have felt the same. Funny, the few dudes who were brave enough to share their shizzle with me didn’t have these issues. But that’s another topic for another time. Our girls clearly need healthier messages.

If I could wave a magic wand and globally undo the blinding, binding words, “not good enough,” I would. But to be honest, that’s not my job. It’s yours to do it for yourself. But guess what? It’s simpler than you think.

For quite sometime now, I’ve been working on accepting myself completely. All of me. My brilliance, my so-called weaknesses, even my morning breath and most importantly, my dozens of incurable tumors. Now some might say, “But if you accept your disease (or your fill-in-the-blank), isn’t that like admitting failure?” Nope-sy. Unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean that we give up or wave the white flag, that’s quitting. Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are.

Being at peace with what is creates a vast and holy space for healing. Remember, stress bleeds all life force. Accepting and honoring every ounce of Kris allows me to rest and renew. From that relaxed and receptive space, we gain the clarity and strength needed to create a blueprint for a happy, healthy life.

Let go.

Fall in love.

Heal.

When we accept ourselves exactly as we are, in exactly this moment, we shift from living for tomorrow to appreciating today. Acceptance heals. Rejection harms. Nurture and nourish yourself. Here’s how.

  • Develop a connection to spirit
  • Allow for quiet time (shhh)
  • Forgive (yourself and that jerk)
  • Welcome (and tend to) loving relationships
  • Release unloving relationships (buh-bye emotional vampires)
  • Lay in the sun
  • Move your glorious body
  • Eat plants (chomp, chomp, yum)
  • Breathe deeply often
  • Smile
  • Repeat

Each time I release a book into the world, I worry. Is it good enough? And then, I remember. Acceptance. I replace my fear with my affirmation. I love and accept myself exactly the way I am (and I love and accept this fabulous creation exactly the way it is!). From that place, I can be present and soak in moments like the one I had while reading the latest issue of VegNews Magazine. Crazy Sexy Kitchen received its first rave review. Thank you, VegNews! They gushed all over the cookbook (coming out next week!).

“With Crazy Sexy Kitchen, Carr is arming readers with a laundry list of delicious recipes…If ever there was a vegan chef fantasy team this would be it … Reading the book already feels like you are at the party with Carr and her compassionate cohorts … It’s fun, it’s edgy … Carr, Sarno, and friends have created a lasting tome that’s sure to persuade the palates of innumerable people.”

If you’re like me, you may get squeamish around compliments. You shrug them off or deflect them back to the compliment giver. “No, YOU are great. No, YOU are more great.” However, when we practice unconditional acceptance, we challenge ourselves to say two very powerful words.

“Thank you.”

As my dear friend Cheryl Richardson reminded me on the phone recently, “Life loves you, Kris.” Thank you, Cheryl.

Dear readers, life loves you too. Exactly the way you are. Today. Breathe it in. Ole!

Now, it’s your turn: What would be possible if you gave yourself the same unconditional acceptance that you give to others?

Peace & acceptance,

Kris Carr



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135 responses to The power of unconditional acceptance
  1. Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you, Kris :)

  2. Love this. It’s not an easy thing to do especially for women but so necessary. Nice reminder….:)

  3. So beautiful. I exhaled when I read it. Tired of beating myself up so I might try acceptance…hating me is just too exhausting! Thank you Kris!

  4. PERFECT… As always, thank you Kris. I am enough…. xoxo

  5. Thank you Kris :-)
    My mantra is, I love myself always in all ways.
    I practice this most days and when those judgmental crunchy statements pop up, I say it again.
    Loving your message today.
    Hugs,
    Robin

  6. Wonderful to read this. I just started greens powder five days ago. I have green smoothies on the way. I’m coming aboard!

  7. Thank you Kris – a client of mine was kind of mean today and your article SO helped me :-) Big hug!

  8. This is great! I am 51 and want to do something I love as working for others just does not seem to work for me. My love and passion is jewelry but, I never have funds to take classes. I seem to beat myself up all the time. (not healthy)

    I also think it would be great to meet Kris some day and pick her brain on all the wonderful things she does. Maybe she will offer a contest on how some one can win a chance to meet her. hint, hint.

    Diana in Maine

    • We need to connect Diana. I have a hand crafted jewelry business. Send me an email so I can give you details.
      Kriss

  9. Kris, Thank you! You are great, really you are! Exactly what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it!

  10. Thank you Kris. Just what I needed to hear today. Really struggling with letting go of toxic beliefs and toxic habits. I live with chronic pain. On days when I can practice being more accepting, spending time in meditation, and just be me the pain takes a back seat to all of the joy that is felt when my light shines.

  11. I struggle with putting too much on my plate because I think it’s the ME I should be (and the things I should be doing). I’ve been working on shedding some of the responsibilities and parts of my life that are not ME. This post is a great reminder of that. :-) Thanks Kris!

  12. YES! This is amazing, Kris <3 I've recently been trying to practise self-acceptance too. It's not always easy. Through mindfulness and self-awareness, I've slowly uncovered some pretty deep-seated issues that have been holding me back for a long time. I've kind of always known they were there, but preferred to bury my head in the sand or run in the opposite direction rather than face them head on. Now I finally feel so much more ready to be me, truly and fully, and to do the things I'm burning to do with my life.

    I love your tips for self-nourishment. I've found simply sitting in stillness and focusing on my breath to be really powerful. Also, journalling; it's crazy what you discover when you just let the words flow from your fingers!

    I'd also add yoga to my little list. I just got done with a loooooong yoga session and I'm tingling from the inside out! I feel open and ALIVE.

    I know I've got some work to do before I accept myself fully (alright, maybe A LOT of work… :) ). But I'd much rather do it now than have the feeling of regret and heartache that you described when I look back later in my life.

  13. Thank you Kris,
    This couldn’t have come at a better time…
    Thank you for your encouraging words and sharing your vulnerability…
    I will start with that mantra today and keep trying keep it going…

  14. Thank you so much Kris!!! I am on a healing journey myself and this is exactly what I needed to hear today!! You are awesome!

  15. Hi Kris,

    This is a great post.

    I did an energy massage on the weekend and found a key blockage to my healing. I realized my own sense of self is around not feeling stupid. When I was seven years old, I was provided with the gift of assisted learning however I have always viewed it as the “special class”. That internal label has followed me throughout my amazing career and has pushed me to prove I am not stupid. I realized only after my energy massage that my “label” stops me from healing and I need to love my learning disability which has inspired me to share complex ideas in a simple format.

    Your post today provided the last bit of the acceptance journey I need to embrace. As it write this the tears of release are flowing.

    Today I embrace my learning challenges and forgive myself for not accepting them – they are the key to my future to help people to learn about wellness in a visual and auditory environment.

    Thanks Kris.

    Jo,

  16. I’m a man (dude) and for most of my life I believed god gave me a cool brain and an awkward body. (I’ve always been shorter than most, a bit wide and now blad with a few wrinkles) This article made me realize that I’ve spent nearly 50 years only loving half of me. But why shouldn’t I love all of me? my wife and kids do, my parents do, my brothers do.

    Thanks for the unconditional inspiration and thanks for always sending those delicious ideas to my inbox. Chris you are the monkey’s eyebrow. (monkeys have amazing eyebrows…right?)

  17. Your picture looks fantastic, and I love the affirmation, I will use it.

  18. I absolutely love this Kris and you’re SO right! I used to do a lot of archery, I used to be British champion, and even then, if someone said how good I was I’d always feel quite awkward and have the “I supposed I’m ok” type of answer until one day I thought “hold on, I AM good, I’ve worked hard to get here and I should be proud of myself” and since then, I’ve accepted compliments much better until recently where I’ve been slipping into the old “I’m not good enough” thoughts with my mediumship and connection with spirit. I have others telling me I’m good but I never feel that about myself which is totally silly and it’s articles like yours which snap me back into the right way of thinking and knowing that yes, I’m a nice guy, I’m worth some praise now and again and yes, I AM special and loved, just a shame that’s gets forgotten sometimes.

    And so are you Kris! You’re such an inspiration and your happiness and energy are completely infectious. I’m so so happy to have seen you in the Hungry For Change movie and from there found this place.

    Thank you thank you thank you for being the wonderful person you are.

    Now, hurry the release of Crazy Sexy Kitchen here in the UK, still got another month to wait until mine comes :-( LOL

    Much love, hugs and happiness to you lovely.

    Daz X

  19. Lovely. I read this with the gratitude I feel for accepting a situation with another the way it is right now and with that I feel free. It’s bloomin’ wonderful! Thanks for reaffirming xx

  20. Thank you Kris. I needed to read and hear this. I have had a lot of stress in my life these past few months, I had a hysterectomy, went in to get just the uterus out, came out with one ovary intact. End of August my mother was admitted to hospital for colon cancer. And too many weeks to count, three surgeries later, she is still in hospital, and will need 24/7 nursing care for what is left of her life on this level. Add in three very active kids (my van should be yellow instead of silver), I am just a little stressed. This whole situation with my mom, my sister coming back into our lives after many years out, a shitty family life growing up etc. Stuff has been stirred up and many demons have reared their ugly head in my psyche. One of them is the “I am not enough” gremlin. I am not smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. Your post has reminded me to stop beating myself and love me for me. Thank you. Now to finish my green tea and give myself a chance to breathe and just be. :)

  21. I can’t wait to get your book!! I loved your last one and you continue to be an inspiration to me. Thank you, Kris!
    With gratitude,
    Monique

  22. Wow – this is so great! Came at a perfect time. Thank you!!

  23. “What would be possible if you gave yourself the same unconditional acceptance that you give to others?”
    I would release the clenched muscles in my abdomen. When I, on occasion, am reminded to accept “myself completely. All of me.” I realized how tightly I am holding myself in – like a cinched corset – holding back that which I am sure is to be rejected. My tensed stomach is the physical manifestation of the stuff I am not unconditionally accepting. My breath, the depth of each inhale and even the pace at which I take my breaths, is directly affected by the phenomenon. So, a good deep breath, as you often counsel, brings me so much awareness, releases my ever-contracted abdomen and begins a gentle flow of acceptance… in any moment.
    *Here’s to breathing deeply often!*

  24. This truth has slowly been thawing the floating icebergs in my brain. As I grow to love myself, my journey crossed the path of your blog. Coincidence? I think not :) lol

    I’m so grateful to be alive. I’m grateful for you and your blog/

    Hugs,
    Deanna

  25. Hi Kris,

    Thank you so much for sharing your authentic self. You truly do shine! What you said in your blog is what I needed to hear right now. It seems like a scary path to show the real you but you’ve done it, so I can too!

    Blessings,
    Sonia :-)

  26. Thank you Kris, A great reminder to all of us to just accept who we are. I always enjoy reading your blog.

  27. Everyone always has an opinion. It is the opinion we give ourselves that is the most important. Today I will tell myself hmmmmmm: You Rock! The trick is remembering it as the day goes on. Kris you definitely Rock!!

  28. This is wonderful. I actually think I am decent at self-acceptance at this point, partly because I’ve worked at it, and partly because I’m realistic about what I can do. I learned a great phrase in grad school: “Projects are never done, they’re just due.” Helped me break out of my perfectionism.

    In a moment of not feeling this self-acceptance, while crying hysterically at a funeral after a powerful eulogy, I said to my husband, “I hope in my eulogy they just say, ‘She just always did the best she could.'”

    And now, my biggest struggle/question. How much more amazing-ness could I have brought into the world if I had believed in this 20 years ago? We believe it as a child, but somehow lose it along the way. One day my (very well-meaning) MIL said to my 4yo, “That is beautiful! Are you going to be an artist when you grow up?” And my daughter said, “I AM an artist.” Kids have none of this baggage. How can I help my daughters and my son to never lose this spirit? THIS is one of my biggest questions/struggles.

  29. Thank you, Kris, for this post. It struck a chord with me (okay, more like cymbals being banged together), especially a particularly rough weekend. I have major depression and can’t seem to shake this sadness. I haven’t learned to accept myself yet and need to let go of the idea of being perfect. It’s not just damaging me anymore, it’s affecting my husband and children. I don’t see how they could possibly love me with all of my flaws… and yet they seem to do just that. I don’t feel worthy of their love and I fear that they will eventually see the real me (i.e., a bad person, not good enough) and that I will lose them. The line you wrote, “Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are,” made me tear up, because I have learned through talking with my family and my doctor, that I need to let go of the idea of being perfect and just accept me for me. So thank you for writing about something so applicable to my life right now. I am so looking forward to receiving my copy of CSK. xo

  30. Yes! You are on target with what I’ve been practicing. You might check out the teachings and books of Cheri Huber or check out this website, http://www.livingcompassion.org. Love your work and I’m excited we will see more of you. Big juicer here!

  31. this was perfection! i needed and wanted every single word today. bless you, lady!

  32. Perfect! Thank you!!!

  33. Kris, you always inspire me. Literally, every time I read a blog from you I am always in awe and admiration- of how freaking authentic and real and simple yet deep you are. Keep shining!

    xo,
    Christine

  34. I’ve been following your work and reading your newsletters for some time now, and this piece resonated deeply. I too am walking a sacred journey through cancer, which I’ve come to understand as a fierce teacher. Yes to forgiveness and unconditional love! We heal for ourselves, and for the world I think. I wrote a post about my own experience learning to accept myself completely after my cancer surgeries in 2010: http://shirashaiman.wordpress.com/2010/10/06/coming-home/. I’m still learning. And loving.

    Thank you for shining so brightly. All my best, Shira

  35. Dear Kris, I am grateful we are on the same path of our current ways. You came to me via Food Matters. I love having you in my life as I welcome loving relationships and accept myself unconditionally right now. Your way with words always brings a smile to my face for others to enjoy and a smile in my heart and soul for me. Thank you for sharing your journey. Namaste. ( :

  36. We hear it all the time but your words today really hit home. “let go of who we think we should be”. My shoulders relaxed and I could breathe. Thank you Kris!

  37. I loved this post. I am working hard to overcome anxiety and depression, and loving and accepting myself is truly the key. Thank you for this blog, it reminds me that I am not alone. :)

    Have a fabulous day!

  38. God made us enough, so why is it so hard to just believe it? Trust. Acceptance. Yes, indeed. The very things I work on every day. So, the sticky is written and will be on the bathroom mirror when I get home tonite; that place where I reflect on my imperfections instead of my beauty. Kris, you write so well and so very, very funny! I recommend you to many of my patients. Keep on shining your beautiful light. With great love, Kathy

  39. Kris, thank you for your blogs!!! You nailed it again! I so appreciate all you teach and model for us! Learning Self acceptance has been the mountain I have been climbing all my life, so today I will start with a new practice… Nurture & Nourish myself!!

  40. Just in the nick of time. Many thanks for releasing what I needed to hear RIGHT NOW. One question though…how do you find your way to developing a connection to spirit when it’s not there naturally? Or maybe it’s there but it’s hidden and you don’t know how or where to start digging? And you’re afraid that the day they handed out connection to spirit, you were absent.

  41. Smiling at yourself in the mirror for a whole minute each day helps turn “acceptance” of self into “love” and “compassion” for self. Try it…it may be painful at first but if you keep at it, a beautiful thing happens!

  42. “What would be possible if you gave yourself the same unconditional acceptance that you give to others?”

    It would be possible for me to leave harmfull or simply unpleasant relationships without feeling guilty, to be in a bad mood and still feel loveworthy. And simply to live and shine my brilliance without thinking where the shadow falls.

    Thank you Kris! Your crazy sexy cocky style resonates with me! Rock on! Or flamenco! :)

  43. Thank you for writing this. …it’s a great ‘reality check’ for me.

  44. Lovely read!! You write so beautifully. I can actually hear your voice when I read your printed words. I love that!
    Forgiveness and acceptance is a beautiful thing. Creates such balance doen’t it??!!
    Peace and Raw Health,
    Elizabeth

  45. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts in this weeks blog. I am currently writing my own transformational memoir and I have made the beyond brave decision to share all of my dark parts…Yup I am scared…But I know that to truly heal myself as well as open the door for others to do the same ..I must speak my truth. Until I can do that with honesty and love I can’t heal. Is there risk involved? Hell yes…But the bigger risk is to continue to live a life where your past is constantly nipping at your insides … I am more than ready to be free from my own self judgement of not being good enough or loveable if I am not my perfect perky self. It really is true what they say…How can you expect to really be loved if you don’t love yourself. From one truth seaker to another..Big beautiful healthy hugs to you Kris!

  46. On time! Your very last question got me thinking… I caught myself actually having difficulty with accepting my parents! And I wish THEY would accept me! I thought of me as very accepting!!
    Maybe I need to accept that they don’t accept me (the way I would want to or feel I deserve).

    And then, this resolution came to me: Self-acceptance is a sign of adulthood. ;-) (and personal confidence as well !)

    Good to remember!

  47. This is such a great article! We need to learn to love and accept ourselves. I’ve finally learned to do just that! I started with the green drinks 3-4 times a day and what a difference. I’ve had more people tell me I “glow”! I’ve been vegan for 2 years now, I had been vegetarian for over 20 years prior to that. I swear by those green drinks!

    Thank you for your wonderful articles, they are so appreciated!
    Peace, light and love to you

  48. Kris, you have changed my life for the better, richer, wiser, fuller. I’m so grateful for you, and your courage. You have inspired my life path, and the way I live each day. There will always exist the girl in me who is afraid to speak up and be heard (and seen), but day by day, as I read your words, they heal me a little more and allow me to shine in ways I never knew possible.
    THANK YOU!
    XO Jill

  49. Kris …You really are a phenomenal person. You inspire and bless my life!

  50. This year’s been full of healing, from the jumping off from breast cancer, and I’m so grateful for and inspired by Kris Carr. Think of Kris when I drink my yummy green juices every day (watch her recent kitchen video) and everything about her inspires. Thanks for doing what you do and showing us all we can shine like diamonds {} {} truly love to all

  51. Spot on as usual kris!!!!!! Thank u!

  52. This is exactly what I needed to hear for the past month and a half. Juggling school, work, a sick family member, and all of the other tid bits in life has been taking its toll on me. I have been keeping it together at the sacrifice of my emotions and self-confidence. I can’t wait to start new tomorrow morning using that mantra in my meditation.

    Thank you Kris. Keep rocking it!

  53. This was beautiful and you can feel from the heart. One of the best blogs I’ve read in a long time . Thank you for sharing, we all need to vibrate higher and surround ourselves with people things and relationships that take us there. You are one of those for me, you are using your gift and this is truly your calling. Thank you for sharing.

  54. “Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are.” Beautifully said!!! Let’s create a world where this is the norm, eh?

  55. Kris, Thank you for sharing your love with all of us. You are wonderful!

  56. I’m going to reread this daily until it truly sinks in! It’s kind of crazy to think about how we can be so hard on ourselves. I accept my loved ones unconditionally and yet I’m so harsh and demanding of myself. What if I was as equally unconditionally accepting of all that is me, talents, imperfections, the whole kit-and-caboodle that makes me “me”? I think I would experience life differently in a really, really good way!

    Loved the compliment section – that is TOTALLY me! I get so awkward and uncomfortable when someone says something nice to me…I’m going to have to work on smiling, saying Thank You and then truly believing they’re right, I am awesome :-)

  57. Oh, Kris, this is exactly what I needed to hear right now!
    Thank you so much for reminding me that acceptance DOES NOT EQUAL giving up.

    Lots of love,
    Julia

  58. Hello! I have lost 65 pounds in the last year, and thought that would make me feel good enough, I have inspired others to do the same. I have studied health, wellness and spirtual modalities thinking that would help me connect to feeling good enough. I know I am damn good, however I realize it is important to surrond yourself with genuine people, the kind that do not steal your shine and dim your light. I notice when I am around these people that do diim my light, I start questioning my worth, and yes these types of relationships would be considered unloving in my book!!

    Emotinal Vampires Bye Bye! I could not have said it better!! Release, Release!

    Thanks for being an inspiration in health and wellness to me. I was moved by this article and it was a divine messege for me to read to hep me realize that I am not alone!!

    Here is one of my affirmations:

    I
    Am
    LOVE

    I
    AM
    LOVEABLE

    I
    AM
    LOVING

  59. Thank you Kris! This is one I am forwarding to all my friends! Your wisdom and compassion shine, truly life does love you!

  60. Thanks so much Kris. Your article really resonates with me and actually brings tears to my eyes…. I’m 51 and still ask myself “Am I good enough?”. I would have thought those thoughts would have been gone by now… I keep trying, but really I need to breathe, accept and love!! Easier to give to others than to give to myself… I suspect I’m not alone! Thanks for your words….. as always they arrive at the perfect time!! I so love your posts…. Thank you!! xox

  61. Thank you for this! Life is a bit tricky at the moment and I can’t stop comparing myself to others as so many of us do – not thin enough, funny enough, smart enough, brave enough and it goes on…..! grrrrrrh. It’s exhausting and soul squashing!

    Reading this made me breathe deeply, take a moment to realise that I must accept myself as I am and let go and most importantly that I must do it for myself, nobody can do it for me! :)

  62. Thank you, Kris :)

  63. Wow, such perfect timing really needed to hear this at this moment today!
    Always reminded of life’s sychronicity!
    Thanks!

  64. Thank you thank you thank you, yes yes yes! Loving and accepting ourselves unconditionally helps us listen to our inner voice which helps us make decisions. The answers are all inside us and all we have to do is ask for them. I recently wrote an article called “I’m Having a Love Affair”. When we have a love affair with ourself, we get to have one everyday, no matter what. You’re wonderful Kris, I think we are all also having a love affair with you.

  65. Kris, I so needed this! Thank you for your words of wisdom that come from the heart.

  66. Thank you Kris! I am a lost soul, who is fighting hard, to love and accept myself. You have helped me in so many ways. Your light shines bright!

  67. Acceptance is something I’ve struggled with for as long as I remember. Thanks for the encouraging words.

  68. Your words really resonated with me – :) Gonna use your affirmation daily..
    Love ya – Jeanné

  69. i LOVE this article! in fact, it’s so funny, I wrote a similar article about “being enough” and self-acceptance last week on my blog. Love the new direction and design and can’t wait to receive your latest book!

    http://www.brittanybecher.com/2012/10/16/how-to-find-self-acceptance-in-just-5-minutes/#.UIgYkm871Ng

  70. Your words are like a gentle breeze surrounding me! Thank you for your never ending encouragement

  71. I’m 30 and am just now learning self-acceptance (’bout time!). Unfortunately, it took sickness to wake me up and sometimes I beat myself up for it – “why couldn’t I have realized this BEFORE I got sick.” Counter-productive, or what?!

    My old dirty mantra of “I’m not good enough” keeps creeping back, but for every time I say thank you to a compliment, drink a green smoothie, belly laugh, smile, stretch, or do something for myself – it gets further and further away.

    Thank Buddha for Kris (and Cheryl Richardson too!) for trailblazing a path of self-acceptance and self-care so I can see that it’s possible!

  72. Thank you Kris , i really needed to read this message for to face better the day .
    Since i started to follow you i feel every day much better :)))

  73. Thank you Kriss! You made my day! Life does love you :)

  74. So juicy. Resonates deeply as I’m in the midst of letting go of the career I’ve been striving/pushing for and leaping into new-wide-open-spacious-creative-skin. xoxo

  75. This is so true! How many times I´ve felt like I´m not good enought in my job, in relationships, in life itself! Is so great to read you. Than you Kriss! and I hope I can truly accept myself! Cause I´m already wonderful! xoxo

  76. You are SO right on, Kris…I was so very hard on myself for so very long…until my IBS became severe and un-retractable. It did bleed my lifeforce right out of my hands and everything else along with it! I can tell you from experience that all the green smoothies in the world cannot rid us of our toxic thoughts, which are just as harmful as a big mac and fries! I’m on a slow but sure healing path now and can’t wait for your cookbook as one of my tools toward well-being! THANK YOU:)

  77. Thanks for your insiring words..I often feel its difficult to love myself!!
    I am working on this EVERYDAY!!!!
    GOD BLESS!!!!!

  78. Needed to be reminded of this today! Thanks so much!!

  79. WHAT a great writer you are! Just beautiful. You’re helping change the world. One beautiful word after another. Thank you for being such an amazing inspiration to folks like me who also struggle with such personal battles with health and other life complications!

  80. Kris you are like a lighthouse guiding a path of awesomeness! I started reading your blog back in July and enjoy every ounce of positive inspiration you offer. I, like many others, was one to beat myself up on a fairly consistent basis. Thank you for your sunshine, wisdom, and strength. It makes me want to jump on my unicorn, saddle up, and shine!

  81. Been working with the affirmation from the movie, “Hungry For Change”, which you included in your article, and some things are actually beginning to happen for me, the nature of which I’d been hoping for when I started using the affirmation a few weeks ago. Suffice it to say that I am to the point for me now in which I’m able to catch myself doing things that I experience as loving myself, and I know I’m loving myself because the way I catch myself is that suddenly I’m noticing I’m feeling loved and ‘in love’ for at least a brief moment, able to get a bit of the sense of how it is that I did something that actually made me feel this way.

    This awareness is on the heels of an important discovery: that the things that I THOUGHT I was doing at times, and needed to do more of, that seemed to be ways for me to love and care for myself, were only ways of saying to myself that I was too fat, too old, too sick, too tired, etc, etc, etc, for me to accept and love exactly as ‘I am’, in the moment/at the time, and that what I’ve really been saying all this time was that , “Look: I see what kind of shape you’re in and I care enough about you to try to help you change into someone/something more acceptable because, you are NOT acceptable in this shape/condition!” Gheeze… How many people do I walk up to in order to befriend to whom I say such things to? NO people! Who would respond to that approach and welcome me into their life with open arms, so glad I took notice of everything wrong with them and was oh so willing to make them over in every way so we could both finally be ‘happy’ wtih them? OMG! I would have to go into recovery for days or even WEEKS after someone came up to me and did that to me!!! The psychic blow would be horrendous! HAS been horrendous.

    I have to stop killing myself with my imagined ‘kindness and, in fact, know that I finally have. It’s not possible to achieve this kind of awareness in the way that I just have and then go back to the former behavior because I no longer resonate with that behavior. Also in fact, writing about my experiences via emails to some very special friends today, then putting these final paragraphs for the day in writing here is serving as a powerful modality for me in switching on my new, much more coherent resonance that is now enabling me to move further forward in finding my way to true, honest to God, self-love. Thanks for letting me share this with you. I hope it adds to your own coherent resonance in your upward spiraling loving life!

  82. If I gave myself unconditional acceptance like I give others, I would honor my need for solitude and lots of it, and not feel guilty. I would allow myself to let my parents go, and get my own magical place in the mountains so I can feel self-sufficient and peaceful. I would allow my voice to be just what it is, no matter how it sounds to me or others (I could not speak for years b/c of a traumatic period in my life and am only now able to talk sometimes). I would accept the affluence that I know is mine, even if my loved ones have not accepted theirs yet. I would allow myself to paint nature, walk for however long I want to, take naps and be quiet if I want to, no matter what anyone else thinks, even if they think I’m selfish. I would rest easy, knowing I am safe and I am loved. I would let go of the past.

    Thank you, Kris, for your inspiration. Light & love to you and to all…

  83. I already emailed this link to all my girlfriends! The world needs more soulful people like you Kris. Keep on writing and I’ll keep on reading and breathing <3

  84. Thank you, simply/… beautiful
    Your writing feels very authentic, honest and so light and funny, very accepting of all our foibles. Your books are lovely too. So easy to read and inspiring change.

  85. Whoa! I’m crying. Acceptance. The magic word. You are such a blessing ya know? I’m at this point to my life where I have to choose to let it be. All of it. I got it. Thank u. Love from Greece xoxoxo

  86. That’s exactly what I’ve been working on all morning. Thank you for sharing once again and thank you for the reminder. I can already feel this day becoming a much brighter day! :)

  87. Thank you for this post Kris. Your words found their way deep into my heart, though that little tightness in my chest tells me I still have work to do, I’m grateful to see your light down the path. I also loved reading all of the other comments. You’re a magnet of goodness Kris. I can’t help but to feel a kinship and connection with all of these wonderful women (and a few brave dudes) who took the time to share their thoughts too. What a wonderful way to end my day ~Thank you!

  88. Well said ~ coming to a place of loving ourselves for simply being who we are in this moment is freeing. It can be a very long journey ~ but so rewarding. Thanks for encouraging others toward healthier and happier life.

  89. Thank you. When I read your posts I always feel like a good friend gave me a big hug, some green juice and some really good advice. Thank you, Kris!

  90. Wow, thnks Kris …perfect timing, i just moved back home and a lot of memories have been coming to me just to realize that even when i looked my best didn’t feel great…all this time and your article just made me realize it is all about self acceptance…THANK YOU!!!

  91. This is amazing. I have been feeling so horrible about, well, me for a long time now. Just last week I found a picture to put up as my facebook profile picture that said, “Good enough, is not good enough.” What timing! Thanks Kris. Can’t wait to grab your new bookbook and try all the recipes.

  92. I so needed this today – Kris, you rock!

  93. Great post and nice reminder. My own healing journey is deeply related to acceptance and loving what is outside and inside me, but not only the good, nice things… also those which are not so nice and this is teaching me that I am precious as I am right now, and so my life is. This paradoxically is helping me to evolve and change… and making me achieve effortlessly all the things I wanted, how funny!

  94. I love your positive energy!

  95. Such a treat to read, always feel lighter after one of your posts. Thank you for being strong, candid, insightful, cute and so refreshing.

  96. I’m a guy, I don’t have cancer (though my mom does). But I’d have to say this advice… – “But if you accept your disease (or low confidence), isn’t that like admitting failure?” Nope-sy … actually made me laugh. It’s so SOO hard when you struggle to get things done, that cause self-discomfort and even harder accepting those traits and trying to fight them or change them.

    • Failed miserably today with acceptance though. Fixated on rejection by (someone whom I find I am very attracted too) and how irrelevant I am in this person’s life, and how I feel unaccepted when I’m not part of her life. (I had no communication with this person at all today) If I go be alone somewhere it’s just this constant jealous/envy that I wasn’t on her mind today. Felt like I was alone, at work in the presence of 2 other girls, 1 of which I was frequently having discussions with, neither of which I’m attracted to, but 1 likely is attracted to me sadly. But that doesn’t help me accept myself… because I’m constantly inferior if I’m not accepted into this persons social circle…

  97. Thank you Kris!
    It is very useful to hold onto this concept particularly when nothing is working in life for long time and you keep asking yourself: what is really wrong with me or am I not good enough to accomplish this goal?
    You are my wonderful friend Kris, love you:)

  98. Such sound advice that we can’t hear often enough. I struggle with self-acceptance every day, which I’m sure takes away valuable energy that I could put to better use. Thanks for writing this.

  99. You are a human miracle of faith.. Every day I encounter someone who needs inspiration for themselves or others I give them your name +hayhouse.com

    Infinite love and gratitude. :)

  100. I love what you preach Kris. I have been following CSD for a couple months now – not perfetly – but following. I have spread the “gospel of Kris” to others who are now following as well (incluidng my burger eating husband!) This article speaks to me so deeply – I am very, very tired of feeling inadequate and unworthy. I know stress is a killer – I am a little past a year after my mastectomy from breast cancer. I don’t want to go through this ever again. What I don’t get is HOW to start to be kind to yourself and not believe all those funky voices that seem to be telling the truth? How to love yourself? Is it fake-it-till-you-make-it?

  101. I love reading your stuff. YOU are awesome!! I love this. You said, “Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are.”
    Wow!! Thank you for sharing all your knowledge and kindness. All the best to you. Renee hugs. :)

  102. Thanks for this! I love reading your posts and appreciate your sharing information and inspiration.

  103. Kris, I don’t know if you get back to people who leave replies to your website… What you write totally resonates with me, nothing but love and respect for you! I have some trouble with the concept of forgiveness… Is it really that simple to just write, to accept yourself you need to forgive yourself? I was in a really bad relationship, it was at a time that I had lost a lot and for fear of losing anything else, I clung to it with all my might, he couldn’t handle the pressure even though he said he wanted to, I didn’t feel I manipulated him, but he really broke me down. He betrayed my trust and was just so, so mean, (as immature as that sounds), he walked all over me. We’re broken up about 3 months now, while at the time I was terrified, TERRIFIED of breaking up with him, losing him, regretting it… All I feel is intense hatred and regret I wasted time with him and didn’t get out of it sooner. I really want to forgive him, I want to move on heal, have new beginnings, but there he is always on my mind, and there I am always disgusted when I look back on how I was treated and I just can’t help but wonder… Is it really just that simple? Forgive.

    • Hope I’m not speaking out of turn….but it sounds like your having such a difficult time. I just wanted to suggest the book You can heal your life written by Louise Hay. I recently re-read the book and watched the dvd that came with it (under 15 bucks on amazon) and girl….it got me thinking right :)

  104. Love, love, love this. Exactly what I needed today. :)

  105. Hi Kris, Thanks for this great post! I totally agree with your words about writing. “Because it challenges me to be real, authentic and vulnerable. Those squishy qualities can be spooky to share, especially publicly.” I started writing and making art about 6 years ago. I found that artistic expression is a powerful form of self-love because it forces me to be vulnerable. As I suspend judgment, I give to myself that moment, which literally sends a message to myself that, “It’s OK to be me. I am enough in this moment.” Art heals as we reveal ourselves to ourselves, authentically. So, thank you again for continuing to share yourself authentically!

  106. Hi Kris, since 2001 I had also my own personal battle against cancer till now, I am struggling to find peace in my mind. I luckily have found this wonderful book about love: “loveability”. It is incredible hard for people who have/had cancer to live a normal life again, to find acceptance and to fit in in that crazy world but it is vital to have selflove despite all the friends disappearing in once life, despite family members who do not care. I thank God to send me love because I know it is the only way for complete healing. Long life to you Kris.

  107. You rock it girl! Way to promo self-acceptance. So key to freedom and health. I’ve been learning to incorporate this practice into my thinking the past few month and it really relaxes me and makes me feel happier. And when i’ve shared this radical idea of changing from resistance to acceptance with a friend, its such a shock to them. How sad this is radical thinking to most of us, but that’s why God is using your beautiful voice spread the love baby! Thanks Kris.

  108. Love this. Thanks Kris.

  109. Cindy said on May 2, 2013

    My daughter, Katy, is being treated for stage IV colon cancer. I cannot tell you how much we appreciate all of the information that we have gleaned from you…Thanks so much and may God bless you!

  110. THANK YOU, :) I needed to hear this! :)

  111. Thank you. Awesome words.

  112. I thought I was the only one who cringed at compliments! Glad to hear it’s a feminine phenomenon! Yep…I’ve got some things to work on :)

  113. This is an awesome article. I now feel freed to release my writing into the world. Much blessings!

  114. The simplest concepts are often the most difficult to put into practice. I think that repetition makes this one easier. Another one that upon face value seems simple: We are only responsible for our own actions and reactions. It’s a shift that takes a while to assimilate.

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  116. Thank you, Kris. I have ‘followed’ your work for a few years and I know you wrote this a while back, but I was recently listening to something online and your name was mentioned. How you had embraced loving your whole self, including your tumours.

    One of my beloved rescue dogs had surgery a few weeks ago and last week we found out the lump was/is (as the vet wasn’t able to remove everything) a cancerous tumour. The op happened around the time that I heard your name pop up. I have always loved my dog very much, of course. My dogs are my ‘kids’, but your words have helped me to love this part of him that I would rather wasn’t there, too. To try to replace my fear for him, with the love I feel for all of him. So thank you, from both of us.