Smoked Almond & Chickpea Salad Sammies (R-Rated Language!)

Note: Some of the language used in this recipe is R-Rated and probably not safe for work! 🙂

Smoked Almond Ingredients:

• 2 1/2 teaspoons liquid smoke
• 1/2 teaspoon olive oil
• 1 teaspoon soy sauce, tamari, or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos
• 1 teaspoon maple syrup or other liquid sweetener
• 2 teaspoons nutritional yeast
• 1 teaspoon smoked paprika
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 3/4 cup raw almonds

Sammies Ingredients:

• 3 cups cooked chickpeas
• 1 avocado
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice
• 3/4 cup chopped red onion (about 1/2 medium onion)
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh dill
• 1/3 cup chopped celery (about 2 ribs)
• 1 to 2 teaspoons of your favorite hot sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• Ground pepper to taste
• 8 to 12 slices bread, toasted
• Dijon mustard, lettuce, and tomato

Directions

1. Heat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Lightly grease a baking sheet.

2. To make the almonds: Mix together all the liquid ingredients in a small bowl and combine the nutritional yeast, paprika, and garlic powder in a separate bowl. Grab the almonds, add them to the liquid bowl, and stir that together to make sure all the almonds are covered. Scoop out the almonds, add them to the bowl with all the dry seasonings, and stir that sh*t around until they are covered. When they look all seasoned, scoop them out and lay them on the baking sheet. Toast them in the oven for 10 minutes, stir them around, and then put them back in the oven for 5 more minutes. Take them out and let those sons of bitches cool.

3. While all that sh*t is happening, add the chickpeas, avocado, and lemon juice to a big bowl and mash the f*ck out of them. Some chunks are fine, whatever you like. Fold in the onion, dill, celery, hot sauce, salt, and pepper, then mix it all together.

4. Once the almonds have cooled, chop them up and add them to the bowl.

5. Serve up this badass filling on some toasted bread with Dijon mustard, lettuce, and tomato. This is best enjoyed the day it’s made; it keeps fine in the fridge but you might lose some of that crunch.