Kris Carr

Kris Carr

Wellness

How to Have a Healthy and Loving Relationship with Food

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Hi Friend,

Every time I see a cardinal, I know my grandmother is with me.

This regal, red bird was Grandma’s favorite. It reminds me of her fiery Colombian spirit and the blue flames that blazed in her restaurant’s kitchen. Grandma infused her food with love, captivating stories and copious amounts of butter. And everyone who slipped into a booth at The Village Gourmet in Pawling, NY felt that love from their taste buds to their toes.

I swear my grandmother’s been sending me flocks of cardinals in her absence. I think she knew I’d be needing these precious symbols of her love. Two weeks before she died, I received my own walloping wake up call. Incurable cancer. I needed a lifeline. I needed my Grandma. So I went into the kitchen—and I’ve never left.

Although Grandma’s passion had led me to the power of food, not all of her recipes were healthy. I kept her gusto and the love that she put into her cuisine, but ditched the ingredients that bought her a one-way ticket to arthritis, diverticulitis and a host of other inflammatory conditions.

I also ditched my own addictions and compulsions around food.

Aura

At one of my lowest points, sugar had a painful grip on me.

I’d buy/binge and then beat myself up over my behavior. Sometimes the only way out of my drug trance was to mutilate my stash before burying it in the trash. This step was very important. If I didn’t jam cigarette stubs into the pints of Ben & Jerry’s or spray them with cleaning products, there was a 50/50 chance I’d rummage through the rubbish to rescue my heroine.

One thousand donuts could not fill the suffering growing inside me. Which makes a lot of sense, because, since when are donuts miracle workers? Miracles require an overall, tectonic shift toward love and life’s sweetness, which couldn’t be further from processed sugar’s deceptive and fleeting high.

My kitchen was (and still is) a peaceful haven — fully stocked with nutrient-dense, plant-empowered, whole foods. It’s my direct connection to spirit, and of course, my juicer! Slowly, as my time in the kitchen deepened, I started to feel better.

 

While I may never be in remission from cancer, I am currently in remission from an unhealthy relationship to food.

For more than 15 years now, I’ve been teaching others (like glorious you) how to thrive by filling their bodies with energizing vitamins, nutrients, minerals, antioxidants and phytonutrients. Not a day goes by when someone doesn’t write me to say, “Thanks, I feel better too now.” Those letters from my readers are my digital cardinals.

The fact is, we need help and we need each other. We’re a nation riddled with preventable, lifestyle-driven diseases. We consume far too many animal products, processed and refined foods, saturated fats and empty calories. Industries that profit from both our ignorance and our misfortune spoon feed us confusion and deception. We’re taught to solely blame our luck-of-the-draw genes for our health issues, rather than our daily habits, dietary choices and interplay with the environment that surrounds us. The real truth lies somewhere in the middle and the good news is that we are more capable of turning around our global health crisis than we think.

Change your plate. Change your fate.

If you learn anything from my story, let it be this: Don’t wait. But I get it, change is a pesky notion. For many folks, the biggest challenge in changing their eating habits isn’t money, time or education, it’s reframing their connection between food and love. Love is healing. Love is comforting. Love is holy. Food can be all those things too. But as I mentioned, food can also be harmful. The goal isn’t to be restrictive or tight about what passes through the altar (your mouth) and into the temple (your body), it’s to create sustainable and consistent energy for every deserving cell in your body. That, my friends, is true love.

I dedicated my book, Crazy Sexy Kitchen: 150 Plant-Empowered Recipes to Ignite a Revolution, to Grandma. It’s my way of saying thank you for introducing me to the kitchen—the place that has become my pharmacy and transformed my life. I’m just sorry that I didn’t have the chance to share my decade-long health odyssey with her. I know that the knowledge in Crazy Sexy Kitchen would have improved her quality of life. I also know she would have gotten a real kick out of my friend Chef Chad Sarno, who helped me create the glorious recipes. If Grandma could sit at my dinner table today, perhaps she would have realized that you don’t have to compromise pleasurable cuisine for nourishment and good health—they actually go hand in hand.

Let’s do something together.

First, I want to ask you a few questions. How does the food you’re eating make you feel? Energized and happy or sluggish and guilty? Are you treating your body like a temple or a trash can? Sit with these questions for a few moments and then ask yourself this:

What’s one thing you could do to honor and love yourself at your next meal? Let me know in the comments below! No need to get overwhelmed by the idea of renovating your entire diet. Let’s just take a small step together and see how that feels.

Play in the kitchen. Light candles. Experience each bite. Take in the colors and smells. There are countless nourishing recipes right here at KrisCarr.com, or pick up your own copy of Crazy Sexy Kitchen.

Peace & cardinals,

Add a comment
  1. murray says:

    Thanks for sharing your story!….Luv Mori

  2. SkSmith says:

    Hello Kris,

    I stumbled onto your site by chance through Elle magazine and I think it was fate: I needed help and someone to show me a way out. I am only 28 yet I have much pain and sorrow and as a result I have binged for the last 5 years. I am educated but I still do this to myself and I am ashamed. I do the same, I buy so much junk food, go through it then hide the remains in the trash, cover it with other garbage and I’d have to throw it out immediately so I wouldn’t touch it again. Before I always loved going to the gym and eating well and feeling good about myself. Yet I went through some tough times in life and allowed myself to lose myself. Time after time, it was too much to deal with and I thought that sweets were medicine. It’s scary how much a person can eat to fill the pain but the pain never goes away and you never feel full, just empty. Instead it would be a cycle of feeling worse because I gained weight, I would crave sweets more and I’d feel worse about my life.
    I feel like your site is my wakeup call. My first step in the right direction. There will be many setbacks in life and it is not a reason to find comfort or a solution in junk food. When I have a tough day, I will refer to your site to remind me to take care of myself and treat myself right.
    Your one photo with the caption “You matter” really made me cry because I feel like I don’t matter and that no one cares. The silly thing is that I have great parents who love me but somehow that isn’t enough to open my eyes. Thank you for your help, I feel like you’re a friend I can count on.

  3. Jacqui says:

    Dearest Kris….You are such an inspiration to me. I picked up your Documentary years ago because your cover looked cool looking and your story was intriguing. I would have never imagined that I would be diagnosed with Stage 1 Breast Cancer last year! I immediatelly bought all your books. Your upbeat, glowing soul got me through so much xoxo. During my treatments, not one of my Dr’s or medical staff mentioned changing my diet. In fact, when I told my surgeon that I was juicing and cutting out sugar, he looked alarmed. He told me not to go to extremes, that my Cancer was “random”. I have spread the word about the wonderful health benefits of juicing (and losing weight at the same time). HUGE HUGS and SMOOCHES to you Kris…..

  4. Jeanine says:

    Your memories of your grandma resonated with me …. I loved that I got to meet her on several occasions and I’ve loved hearing your mom’s stories about her through the years, but hearing yours incorporated into the life you’ve created for yourself is such a tribute and so precious. She, like you and your mom, was an amazing presence … you three are a fierce female tribal force whose personal power and creativity is a beacon to help light the paths of others. At a memorial service for a friend this past weekend the pastor said that “death may end a life, but it doesn’t end a relationship.” I love how much Aura Sr. continues to touch lives and how many lives you’ve touched.

    • Kris Carr says:

      Thank you so much for that Jeanine. You’ve been in our lives for so many years — and our lives are better for it. xo kc

  5. Francesca says:

    Cardinals are a symbol of my grandmother too (particularly because of our Polish heritage!)

    I’m on Day 12 of Dr. Lipman’s BeWell Cleanse which I discovered through your website. As a Polish-Italian, my diet was loaded with bread, pasta, meats, cheese, etc,. (and when I say, “etc.” I’m talking about cannoli, Girl!) I’m surprised by how much I don’t miss the foods I was basically living off of and as a bonus my dark circles under my eyes disappeared and I lost weight.

    A lot of my lunches and dinners on this cleanse I prepared using your recipes and I was shocked at how satisfying they were without sacrificing flavor. When my patients ask for recipes I share a lot of your stuff! (Juices and Succulent Smoothies included…)

    Hugs from your “Southern” partner in crime – in this thing we call “wellness,” (and fellow Sugar-Addict)
    Dr. Francesca Marino

  6. Lee says:

    Heartfelt thank you!
    You help to bring me back in balance…in a life where I have wrangled the ‘unhealthy relationship with food’ beast. Reading your blogs and the articles you post over the last year has helped to educate me, inspire me and most of all, start to trust me! 🙂
    Every now and then the ‘beast’ starts to rise, as it did yesterday after trying on my first pair of togs (bathing suit/swim suit not sure what you guys call it over there 🙂 as the weather here turns toward summer. Then POW!! here is a message from you in my inbox this morning to remind me of what has been working for me and ultimately, what makes me feel happy! Beast, get back in your cage!!! 🙂
    Have a lovely day!

  7. Kelsi Guth says:

    Sugar is my heroine and I struggle daily with my addiction! I need an intervention!

    • Kris Carr says:

      Sooo intervene then. You can do this.

    • Dina says:

      Dina said on November 8, 2012

      DATES, GREEN TEA, CINNAMON STICKS TO THE RESCUE!

      As a treat, I often indulge in pitted dates, oranges, and a few almonds. That often takes care of sugar cravings. Dates are super sweet and good for you! Another thing that works- cinnamon stick and clove tea (throw spices into boiling water and steep for a few minutes). Decaf Good Earth tea, in the original flavor, used to be what I turned to. It tastes sweet without adding sugar.

      Also, I’ve noticed when I drink green tea, I lose all desire for sugary anything. Green tea makes me crave something healthy if I’m hungry.

      Oooo….another thing that makes me desire less sugar- a small piece of super high quality dark chocolate (at least 70% dark). One tiny square is all it takes. I let it begin to melt in my mouth before biting into it. I then close my eyes and savor the deliciousness. After eating this, I can’t even think of a cookie, pastry, or any other sugary something. I don’t even crave more chocolate!

  8. Annie Bishop says:

    Thank you , Kris, for you and your posse for helping me turn my life around. Food is my pharmacy – and I am the number one shareholder ! I honk the car horn every time I go by your exit on the NYS Thruway !
    Thank YOU for being….YOU and having the grace and confidence to share what you know !

    With the “Emerald Elixor” as I call it, more vitality and better skin abound – everyone is noticing and asking me, “…what are you doing ?” I just turned 48, but barely look 38 !

    🙂

  9. Mary says:

    I love you girl and your message! Keep inspiring us all!

  10. Lisa Lehwalder says:

    Kris ~

    I needed this article today. I have lived with my Celiac husband for 8-years now and did my best to find him the best gluten-free alternatives available all the while feeling sort of smug …and lucky…that I was able to eat freely. We always had a rich, above-average mostly healthy diet but recently I was diagnosed as allergic to cows milk and bananas! I cannot tell you how upside-down I feel suddenly. It’s such a minor thing but now suddenly all the foods I loved…and loved to create … are now off-limits to me and I can’t even share in most of what my husband can eat. I’m sort of depressed now about creating foods in my kitchen and the upcoming holiday season seems like it will be bleak – food wise. Again, I know this is minor but it feels huge and reading this post today….helped me feel a bit better about this sudden challenge.
    Keep up the good work & helping us move through our food challenges with some guidance and grace.
    ~ Lisa

    • Kris Carr says:

      Lisa, there are soooo many ways to make tasty and very satisfying alternatives — without milk. Change like this can be scary and depressing at first, but you will totally get the hang of it. Promise.

  11. Angie Inglis says:

    Hi Kris,
    You are such an inspiration! I had a great start in life, I grew up on brown rice, tofu, and carob chips! But the teenage years turned to processed fatty foods and of course sugar! I eventually came back to a healthy way of eating, or so I thought. Like you, I also had a sugar addiction. Fortunately, in my early twenties I developed a sensitivity to dairy and gave it up completely. The sugar took until my late 30 though to give up. I would always get a sore throat, yeast infection, or a cold after a sugar binge. After watching the Vegan Challenge on Oprah, which resonated deeply with me, I picked up my first copy of VegNews and there you were! My love of eating uber well skyrocketed. I bought Crazy Sexy Diet and started drinking green juice every day and couldn’t believe the difference. I also helped my husband get off Nexium for his acid reflux, which he’d been on for 10 years. And he is now free of “acid reflux” when he food combines. I am now planning a career change to Holistic Nutrition so I can spread the love and joy and proper nutrition! You are a beacon of light, and inspiration, and a joy to know. Keep up the awesom work!!! I love the photo in the green old truck, my husband has the exact same truck, same colour too! You are on my vision board and I know I will have the pleasure of meeting you one day! Thank you Kris.
    Angie Inglis
    Guelph, Ontario, Canada

  12. Kris,
    This is fab. I remember you once said you read cookbooks like novels. I so get it. I am so relating to your family my background you know. This is an amazing thing and change must happen. I love it and am do proud of you. You smell a net we both do because I know whatever you will be cooking will be divine.
    Callie.

  13. Diana says:

    I was riding my bike yesterday on a beautiful day when a red Cardinal flew right in front of me… I thought for sure it was my Dad! Funny you had the same experience!

  14. Jeani DeAngelis says:

    love your spirit~ thank you for sharing with all of us!!!

  15. Lana Wescott says:

    Umm…could you be any more awesome?

  16. Lara Hermann says:

    Thank you for writing Crazy Sexy Diet!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOUR BOOK! It’s my new “bible”, gives me hope, peaceful joy and happiness! I went a little crazy sending copies to my 5 sisters, a friend, sister-in-law and sharing my happiness with anyone who asks. I loved Skinny Bitch, but this book takes it one step further and makes SO MUCH sense! I am just SO GRATEFUL you wrote the book.

    I love your suggestions today and what you write about your kitchen. I have a 1 & 3 yr old and tend to feed them quickly (they watch tv) and me hovering over the sink, quickly eating or even skipping my meal and eating their leftovers… what a beautiful and very different way I can serve dinner and teach my children different. Thanks for the post today!! You are truly a Gift From God!! Thank you and PLEASE keep writing!! I love your new website, I couldn’t figure out your old one. : ) xo Lara

  17. MaryC says:

    I saw your Crazy Sexy Cancer video a few years back and was so inspired by you and your courage. I was vegetarian then, but became a full-fledged vegan 2 years ago, and have never felt so amazing in my life! (I’m 63)

    You were the inspiration for me to become vegan, then I found a whole community of vegans on-line! I live in a small farming community and I’m the only vegan I know of. I’m hoping to inspire others by example. Food really is our medicine.

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey, your wisdom, and your zest for life! I love your new blog, it’s great!

  18. Karyn says:

    Hi Kris,
    This morning, I read your post while my toddler rolled around the bed watching Elmo on YouTube and asking for her “eats”. This post hit home as my mom lay in the other room, since she’s visiting me while I job-hunt, and was reminded of her daily battle with rheumatoid arthritis and GERD among other illnesses. I thought of my grandmother who passed on with excess weight, two knee replacements, and terrible arthritis. My mom and grandmother’s generation ate to comfort their spiritual ailments, and ate to excess to cope with their HIS-tory of living through slavery with not enough food and definitely foods lacking nutrition. All of this is to say, I made my daughter cereal with loads of yummy nutritious granola, and myself a green juice to remind myself that we have life choices.

    Kris, it will be great to hear your feedback on how to approach those set in their ways about alternative eating habits. I cannot even brooch the topic with my mom who says, “she’d rather die” than live without friend chicken, daily sweets, and dairy! Thank you Kris for being an inspiration to us all!

  19. Jess says:

    I know what you mean about cardinals – I’ve had the same experience with my dad and butterflies. I always see them on days I’m thinking of him, or on days when I am feeling low. : )
    You are right – it’s about nourishing ourselves, and giving our deserving cells what they need! I honored myself at breakfast and lunch and made meals both delicious and heavily nutritious, and I’ve been feeling great all day. More creative – doing a lot of writing and drawing, and more playful – more in the moment with my children, more patient and giving.
    Giving to myself through food is one way I love to fill my heart and soul!
    Thank you for your stories, your encouragement, and your contagious positivity.

  20. Thank you Kris for sending your positive energy through my email. I love getting your reminders about loving yourself and taking better care of yourself. Over the past year or so I have been slowly implementing little changes into my family’s lifestyle. We all feel healthier and happier. And I feel great comfort in knowing that I am setting the tone for my children.

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