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Do you sometimes keep doing the exact behaviors you swore you wouldn’t do? What if these aren’t character flaws, but actually parts of you trying their best to keep you safe?
For decades, my friend Gabby Bernstein has been diving deep into transformative practices then sharing her wisdom with the world. Now she’s turned her passion to Internal Family Systems (IFS), a powerful framework that helps us understand these different parts of ourselves – our managers, firefighters, and exiles – that show up in our daily lives.
During this candid conversation, we dive into how understanding and befriending these different aspects of ourselves can transform our daily lives. I share my own experiences with these concepts while writing my latest book, especially when confronting parts of myself stuck in grief and anger. The shift happened when I stopped trying to push these difficult emotions away and instead learned to approach them with curiosity and compassion.
We dive deep into practical tools for emotional regulation, exploring how to move from force into flow through a revolutionary four-step check-in process. This episode is perfect for anyone ready to stop fighting themselves and start understanding why we do what we do. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, physical tension, or patterns you can’t seem to break, this conversation offers a fresh perspective on what it means to truly heal through simply opening up to yourself more.
Key Quotes From the Show
“What if you just started treating these parts of yourself like little children that are stuck in time, working really hard to get your attention?” – Gabby
“Instead of checking out, we check in.” – Gabby
“You have two choices. You can go deeper into shame or you can be really loving right now and say to yourself, ‘It’s okay, I love you. I’m not going to abandon you.'” – Kris
WE DISCUSS
(02:16): What inspired Gabby to write “Self-Help” and her personal journey with IFS
(05:17): Understanding our inner parts and how they protect us
(11:16): The connection between rage, shame, and self-compassion
(19:17): The four-step check-in process for emotional regulation
(35:19): A fresh perspective on anxiety and how to work with it
(40:12): The mind-body connection and working with physical pain
(45:05): What it means to truly thrive and be the CEO of your health
CONNECT WITH GABBY
Order Gabby’s new book “Self Help”
CONNECT WITH KRIS
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