Wonderful Soul Friends,
A few weeks ago I wrote about the deeper meaning behind my recent experience of getting sick (stomach flu and bronchitis). I shared that sometimes my body says “NO,” and it’s my job to listen, to put my ego aside and involve my body in the planning process. That blog definitely struck a chord, and I loved the conversation that took place in the comments. Thank you!
Today I want to share how I’ve been making happier, healthier decisions for myself and making the most of the present.
While I don’t always pull this strategy off, when I do I notice how my life gets richer. The more I align my inner and outer worlds, the more joy I consistently experience. Pretty basic stuff, but for many reasons I need constant reminders. If you do too, read on…
Let delight be your compass
What would happen if you put your ideas, to-do’s, and opportunities through the filter of delight? If you closed your eyes, tuned into your body, and asked this simple question: Would this delight me? Try it. You might be surprised by the answer. Sometimes it’s a full-body “yes”, other times it’s a “hell no”. However, most of the time we have no idea. We just keep on keeping on without taking a step back to check in. Life moves fast, remember delight in the process and you’ll be surprised by the subtle changes that add up and create expansion.
And using delight as our barometer goes far beyond saying yes or no to certain commitments. It helps us choose uplifting conversations rather than bitching, gossiping or putting ourselves and others down. Delight reminds us to devote ourselves to people and projects that inspire rather than tire. It asks us to sit in the sunshine and eat a healthy meal on our lunch break, rather than wolfing down crap at our desks. Or, and this is sooo me, delight reminds us to get up to pee when we need to—rather than holding it for a more convenient moment. Peeing is liberating! And yet, why do I blow off my bladder in favor of just one more email? It’s cray cray.
Let delight help you stay present
The other day a friend asked what’s next for me, what’s the big vision? I paused. Got really tired. Then tapped into my delight practice. My truthful response went something like this…
“I used to answer questions like that with soaring goals and missions for the planet. Worthy stuff—vision is necessary and I have plenty of it. But in truth, I felt pressure to create escalating greatness year after year. If I accomplished my goal I’d praise myself for 30 seconds and then set another one. If I didn’t, I felt like I was a failure. Oy. Vey. I’m so done with that drama. For me, the next thing is doing my best in the present moment, it’s being with you, having fun, and following my delight.”
I explained to my pal that this approach still leaves room for exciting projects like my book launch in October or a petition I want to support in a big way, but it also means that I’m not getting myself into a lather about the future and missing the present magic.
Let delight simmer like a slow-cooked stew
Focusing on delight has shifted my business in a big way too—which can be scary at times. Will I miss a deadline or screw up a budget? Or worse, will I lose my ambition and stop caring? I mean, let’s face it, there’s a lot we have to do that isn’t frickin’ delightful. Unless we win the lottery, we’re probably gonna have to make some compromises. But when I look at the two ways delight informs my life—making conscious choices and being present—I realize that if I trust this beautiful compass it will help me and my team become even more successful, while also prioritizing happiness.
At our recent company retreat I really wanted to drive this idea home, so I introduced this motto: Slow Cooking vs The Machine. Here’s what it means…
When I spend all day on a sauce or stew—chopping, stirring, tasting, stirring—dinner is gonna be really good that night, so good that I’ll probably invite friends over to enjoy the meal. I love feeding people home cooked food, and that energy creates a ripple effect. Well, our readers and customers are the friends we host at Kriscarr.com and on social media.
So I asked my team: Do we want to take the time we need to create a satisfying, well-marinated meal that we’ll both enjoy? Or do we want to just crank out content? Feed the beast? Stuff the machine? We could approach this as a job or a joy—it depends on how we show up. Sure, sometimes there’s no way around a not-so-fun task, but we can still try to get clever and create more delight along the way. This whole process helps us set doable goals and create an environment where we can all rise to the occasion and succeed.
Let your delight grow & start listening closely
Instead of changing everything right away, try leaning into delight. Allow your practice to grow over time and your life will have room to adjust to new decisions and more joyful approaches.
When you start using your delight barometer, you may not know where certain things fall. That’s okay. This is an exercise in listening closely to what lights you up. While some of my so-called mistakes have certainly come from not trusting my instincts, most of them stem from taking the path that was devoid of joy. So keep the pursuit of delight in your consciousness and check in with it regularly. Stay open and watch for cues from your mood and your body. The signs are right in front of you and when ignored, this is what can happen: cough, sniffle, fever, meltdown, panic, cry, blues, exhaustion, copious snacking, copious vodka, etc etc…
Now it’s your turn: So how’s your delight meter registering overall—high or low? If it’s high, right on! If not, what’s one small adjustment you could make that would add more delight to your life?
Peace & delight,
Well my delight meter is dragging bottom for to many reasons to list.
I did treat myself to a home alone epson salt bath a few mornings ago,
With a few flagrant essential oil spritzes.
It was so very sweet…then back to life.
I woke up this morning with this mantra in my mind: “Do it with joy, or take a break!” And suddenly even the mounds of papers/junk in my office I’m planning to tackle today went from a soul-sucking, beat-myself-up-for-hoarding-all-that-crap-AGAIN, endless endeavor, to feeling like an exciting, freeing opportunity for joy and loving myself, my family, and my journey. And then, fate led me here! I will leave this post up on my phone so I can take that break and read it whenever my current grumpy habits sneak back into my present moment. I will find my joy, my delight again, and go from there. Thank you!!!!! xoxox
Today my delight included going to my favorite Mexican restaurant and having two (count them, two!) margaritas with my favorite person ( my husband!), and talking about stuff – just plain ole’ stuff. Pretending to solve the world’s problems, talking about our girls, and not caring that I was consuming too much sugar, too much alcohol, food that was maybe not so great for me. This, in huge contrast to the normal, “how is this consumption going to affect my longevity and will it help to prevent the recurrence?” I’ve decided that I need to have more of these days – and I am guessing that the decrease in pressure will actually increase my number of days. Just guessing…. My delight meter measured pretty high today.
Delight is my focus word for 2017! I love it. Thanks for this great blog Kris.
I just read your “4 ways to follow your delight” and I loved what you said (and you’re a scream!) and the phrase of using your delight as a barometer. Although I don’t eat crap at my work desk I definitely need to sit outside on my lunch break! Love getting your inspirational & direct emails! thank you again, Christine in Tucson.
I love this post, Kris! I needed it right now. I sat down yesterday with my one precious employee to plan for this year, including online courses, book promotion, expanded coaching and retreats. We felt so much joy and excitement in creating our workplan and envisioning all the good we would do and the people we would meet. But, when I woke up this morning, some of that had rubbed off and I had a bit of wanting to curl up in the fetal position to avoid the less joyful elements of making all that happen. I love your line “It depends on how we show up.” When I remember that even the elements that feel hard are really just about connecting with other people, which I love doing, then I can focus on what delights me and show up in joy, instead of grim determination. I’m turning on some good music now to accompany my delight! Thank you for the loving reminder! 🙂 Janette
Thank you, Kris, this is perfect. I am sitting on my sofa, snivelling with a cold and for a moment there I’d totally lost my delight-barometer (delightometer?)! I now feel uplifted and have had a wry chuckle at myself, which is always a good start for finding my way back to balance.
Peace and love to you too,
Jo.
Love and joy flows through your words. You help me start every morning with renewed energy and love! Thank you?
I love your message. I have been on a mindfulness journey for a couple of years now and it certainly works better for me than many other options. Thank you and keep it up but don’t forget about yourself. Lynn Bown 9 year breast cancer thriving survivor.
Thank you so much for this post. I’m one of those people who benefitted from this reminder to focus on what brings me joy. It can be hard because I’m still deep in the healing trenches, but that’s all the more reason to prioritize delight! When I pause and ask myself “Is this making me happy?” the answer is so revealing. “Doing” can become a habit that results in mind+body wariness, but “enjoying” fills me up! Thanks for keeping it real and sharing your truths! <3
Can’t believe I am only reading this now. But now that I read it, I see it is perfect! There’s such a light and light energy in using de-light as a touchstone, in your article. I feel lighter having read it. I use aliveness, and sometimes I forget. I forget more often than I would like.
I’m about to sit down and plan my week. I will now do it with a very different energy. I already feel lighter going into it. I have a smile on my face. It’s really good!
Thank you Kris! You’re great!
Yes it’s true. Using delight as our barometer goes far beyond saying anything else.
This is such a great perspective, and I too love the word “delight”. We often talk about happiness, peace or joy, but “delight” seems to take it to a whole new level. Of course, not everything feels like a delight at the time, even if it’s something that will bring us delight in the long run. Which I guess it what you’re getting at with the slow-cooking metaphor. Can you for this reminder; I will make an extra effort to pursue delight today.
This so resonates Kris. Running my own business I stressed myself out so much last year after quitting my day job that I felt like nothing is worth it anymore, despite seeing results in the business. But I started to take better care of myself, listened to myself more in terms of what I really want, what’s in my heart that wants to be expressed…and now feeling increasingly better and clearer on where I want my life to go and making it happen.
Thanks for this great post and reminding me that delight and joy feel good for a reason – as our compass to the right actions! 🙂
I love your article and thoughts in this edition. Plus…a bunny card!!! (I have a pet bunny 🙂 )
So, in thinking of where my barometer is at? I think I’m getting better at this and thinking more of “will this bring me joy…?” My friends have told me over the years that I’m bubbly…so I can relate to Lynette’s comments on “joy bubbles”…but I think that I lost some of that in recent years. I have some fear/trepidation at times, but then I think…oh this could be so fun! And what I’m finding is that those things are making me have a more enriching life! How very cool!
I try hard to be more in the present now, and putting away those same drama things like “what’s next for you?” and “is my cancer coming back?”. In the meantime, I’m not discarding goals, but not overly focusing on them now and more on whoever I am talking with, spending time with…enjoying more of life. I think I’m on the right track.
p.s.: I think I will get a set of your cards—so cute and uplifting! I will use these in part in my scrapbook–it’s a smaller daily format called a “smash book” where I place products I love and why, cool activities, random thoughts that I want to look back on later and go “oh yes…”, fun events with photos, etc.
Kris,
Thank you for writing this. I love it so much, and I continue to find new ways to really respect my own inner delight barometer. Ego tries so hard to drown it out, and when I favor ego over delight–YUCK. Life gets lackluster, FAST, even if I’m soaring through my to-do list. Tuning into joy and gratitude is one of the most powerful practices, and it’s comforting and inspiring to know that someone as successful as you is still using it. Proof that it’s useful on ANY step of the journey.
BIG Love to you!
Caroline