Hi Guys!
Welcome to my new kitchen! After a year of renovating, the farmette is nearly complete. Can I pinch myself now? I can’t believe we pulled this off! I’ve always dreamed of building a house from scratch, especially a kitchen. And I also can’t believe that my actual kitchen and my new book, Crazy Sexy Kitchen are wrapping at the same time. Big smile. Big gratitude.
This past year has been deliciously creative for both me and Brian. I’d write the book all day, he’d work on the house, and at night we’d come together and share our experiences. Though we’re not quite ready to move in (the kitchen is the only finished room!), we’re celebrating how close we are and how far we’ve come (personally and as a couple).
But let’s be real, I was nervous.
At times it felt like we had bitten off way more than we could chew. Days bled into nights and an indescribable tired seeped through our bones. If you’ve been through a major renovation at the same time as an enormous work project, you know exactly what I mean. At the height of it, I started to experience some adrenal issues. Naturally, when the stress materialized in my body, I wondered if we had made a bad decision, and I knew it was time to course correct.
Because I always write what I need to hear, I want to share a mantra that helped soothe the crazy.
“You are safe …”
Can you feel your shoulders relax when you read that? Mine do.
It took me awhile to zero in on that soul medicine. For a long time, I thought I had trust issues. I had a hard time trusting men, my career choices and ultimately, my intuition. I stepped gingerly through life for fear of the door in the floor that would suddenly open and suck me into a metaphoric basement. At their worst, my trust issues made me wickedly constipated (in all areas of life!) TMI? HA! Well I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached countless women who say they can only poop on their own safe and cozy throne. Sound familiar?
As time went on, I remember stepping back and watching my glorious self shrink and get really rigid. Then it dawned on me. The root of my stuff was less about trust and more about safety. And interestingly enough, my distress would often kick in at the precipice of any comfort zone expansion: a new publisher, relationship, job opportunity, health challenge and even more recently with the re-branding of all my websites! Talk about a major growth spurt!
Like me, you may be called to step up and flourish right now. Advice for us: Don’t let your wings wilt. Instead, get really sober about what’s safe and what’s not. Take one of those inner inventories we often talk about. Whether it’s in your mind or on paper, reflect on any drama or stories that might be pushing your fear factor. Once you do, you’ll probably realize that you’re more secure than you think and that the only one holding you back is lovely, well-meaning you. Look, sometimes it’s justified to be scared. But most of the time, creepy town is just an illusion, a silly place that gets amplified in our very clever minds.
In times like these, I like to turn to an affirmation. Here’s one I created for safety …
“I am safe and secure. I exhale any anxiety and inhale calm. As my world expands so do my heart and mind. I am willing to stay open and accept all the miracles and abundance the universe has to offer me.”
Take a few moments to really breathe that in. Notice how it makes you feel. Accept where you currently are (because it’s OK), and when you’re ready, release any residual tension holding you back.
I bring this up because lately I’ve been chatting and chewing about plant-empowered chow. Changing our diets can definitely poke buttons. Growing up, many of us learned that we regularly needed a hunk of beef and a glass of milk to ensure our health. Well, everything I’ve learned as a cancer thriver and wellness activist has proven the contrary. And yet, I always (I mean ALWAYS) get asked the same questions. “But, but, but, what about the protein, the calcium, the iron, what about the XYZ? Is this ‘safe?’” Eating this way is very safe. It may stretch your comfort zone at first, but in the end it just might be the healthiest decision you ever make for you and your family.
I hope this post resonates with you, whether it’s in the kitchen or in life. Leave a message in the comments below if it does. I’d love to meditate on YOUR musings!
Peace & sanctuary,
Dear Kris,
Congratulations on all of your life miracles! I am thrilled to pieces to find you. I feel tingles everywhere because you are living your life exactly as I wish to live mine and…I don’t want to jinx myself ;)… I think I’m taking my first steps in that direction. I have made a huge life change (living in a new country, have a boyfriend for the first time in 8 years – hip, hip, hooray!, and determined to find a career direction – maybe nutrition – about which I feel passionate), began Vipassana meditation 3 months ago, became a vegetarian and then, a vegan. I can’t wait to follow you and to continue to feel inspired. Bravo, thank you, thank you, thank you, and you get ’em girl! Heaps of warm wishes, Andrea
Dear Kris,
Congratulations on all of your life miracles! I am thrilled to pieces to find you. I feel tingles everywhere because you are living your life exactly as I wish to live mine and…I don’t want to jinx myself ;)… but I think I’m taking my first steps in that direction. I have made a huge life change (living in a new country, have a boyfriend for the first time in 8 years – hip, hip, hooray, and determined to find a career direction – maybe nutrition – about which I feel passionate), began Vipassana meditation 3 months ago, became a vegetarian and then, a vegan. I can’t wait to follow you and to continue to feel inspired. Bravo, thank you, thank you, thank you, and you get ’em girl! Heaps of warm wishes, Andrea
Hi Kris, I really am grappling with the same question, why do we always want to be safe? Every time I put myself out there and take a risk, it pays off hugely. But, it does cost me to stick out my neck and my instinct always tries to keep me back. Thanks for your wonderful posts! Very inspiring.
Sandra
BTW. I’m Laurentine of Foodmatters’ Aunt!
This post was amazing! I am one of those women who “can only poop on their own safe and cozy thrown.” If I am not relaxed and stress-free everything seems to just STOP in my body. Of course, my mind keeps racing a mile a minute so that all adds up to one toxic mind, body and soul! I still haven’t figured out how to stop the crazy but this post helps- I Am SAFE! Thank you so much, Kris for your inspiring words and your inspiring life!
Thanks so much for this! I love your excitement about being in your new kitchen. I have a few things in my life I’m in the middle of, I’m enjoying the process but really looking forward to “enjoying my kitchen!” Love love love.
Thank you for sharing this. I love the affirmation and will use it daily 🙂
Boy do I know that feeling of having bitten off more than you can chew. Being scared and out their on your own! Congratulations enjoy your new kitchen. carla
Yes.
This is good.
I can (sheepishly) say I am one of the countless women who has the (TMI warning!) same issues with becoming ‘wickedly constipated’ in all areas of my life! I’m so glad I clicked the link & read this article…I’ve written down the affirmation & am putting it to good use, thank you for sharing what’s worked for you. As always <3
Friday note: I love you. Your responses are FULL of such high-level teaching and insight. Wow. You gave me 5000 ideas. xo kc
I wrote the mantra in my journal today and plan to make a lovely card with it printed on the front to put in my meditation basket, so I can use it when I’m in my crazy place. Thanks Kris!
Hi Chris, thanks for you post. When you spoke about it being more about safety and less about trust it hit a chord with me. The thought that came to me was that if we created a soft and safe place for ourselves then it might be easier to let go and trust.
I am currently reading your book Crazy, Sexy Diet and loving it, thank you. Many blessings Leah
Hi Kris,
You’ve hit the nail on the head again!! Just when I start to slip down the insecurity slope you pop up with another life affirming mantra, my personal struggle as an artist has been that I am afraid of being creative,why you may ask I think I associate it with getting cancer and cannot seem to break out of the creative block I am currently experiencing, so when I read your article it resonated with me on so many levels thanks so much and thank you for being you.
Love and light to all Sarah xx
Absolutely fabulous – Cancer Thriver – I love that….I’m going to copy you (: ! I also love the affirmation – very powerful for me.
I always admire people who dedicate, all or part, of their lives to helping others – I know we all have the ability to do this but there are certain individuals that have a great impact and you are one of those individuals (for me!)….thank you for opening your heart and sharing your knowledge…there are no words to properly express my gratitude.
Enjoy your day!
Dina
Thanks as always, Kris. This is perfectly perfect for me today!
Thanks for the reminder, Kris! It’s a good mantra. I’m going to give birth in a couple months’ time, and although it is my 2nd child, I had a C-section last time, and still don’t know what a vaginal birth is like. I know it’s not a huge deal; millions of women have done it, do it every day. But it still scares me. Especially when I read in a pregnancy book just yesterday that giving birth is akin to shitting out a watermelon. Good god. Sooo, yes. Repeating “I am safe” and other affirmations and breathing techniques will hopefully alleviate this fear and instead turn it into courage and strength.
Christa,
No worries! You are right, billions of women have done it since the creation of humankind. Our bodies were designed for just that exact purpose. Now, I’m not gonna lie to you – it hurts like HELL!!! But it is over so shortly and afterward the pain just disappears and all you are left with is the sweet, amazing, miraculous blessing! You are gonna ROCK your delivery and astound everyone in the room with your strength and power!
You will be great! Remember that just when it feels the worst…it’s almost over! It’s all relative too…if childbirth was so awful, there wouldn’t be so many wonderful people in the world! Stay present within and ride the waves of contractions! You go girl!!!!
Thank you!! An old coworker just posted this on facebook and it was exactly what I needed (if I can continue to meditate and then implement my action plan!) I had just finished texting my husband that I am so overwhelmed with xyz in our lives. I look forward to reading more of your blog and finding new ways to energize and move forward in life!
I’ve been following you for about a year now and have recently started to read your messages. Thank you for being SO honest. All of them resonate with me in some way but, today, I cried because it is exactly where I am. I had a bilateral mastectomy just shy of my 40th birthday last Sept. and I was given your book to read which started my journey back to health. I thought I was a pretty healthy eater but, your book was very inviting and life changing. My family is very good about trying all the new recipes and green smoothies. We still eat chicken, eggs, dairy and are slowly weeding them out more and more. I too am at a loss sometimes as to protein choices that will fill our tummy’s as well as, satisfy everyone’s taste buds. (as they already think of me as the food warden)! I am excited to get your new book and try all the new recipes. Your story is inspirational and I love how you say it like it is! I am in better shape now than when I was 20 and I was in the military then. My cancer has given me a new outlook and much like you, pushed me to do EVEN better. I run 5k races, run 5-6 days a week, eat better than ever, went back to school, love deeper, appreciate more, and try my very best to live in the moment. Thank you for the hints on stress reduction. You are right…I feel safe and more relaxed! Continued health and success always. Lisa
Needed to hear that right now feeling sorry for myself on v restricted diet cleanse. Never thought food was so emotional for me. Will take inspiration from you kris! X
Kris,
Thank you for “you are safe” – you are soooo on the money with that one! When I first read it, I thought “Nope, doesn’t apply to me” – but when you expanded on the idea and touched on trust issues, well you hit my nail right on the head! I’m having a lot of trust issues right now (I left a secure job to go to grad school full-time and I haven’t been a student in quite a while, I’m in the midst of a career-change, potential new relationship on the horizon…it’s a lot for this gal!) and your words helped me to realize that I’m getting worked up about these things because I wasn’t feeling safe. I didn’t like my old job but it gave me security; I’m struggling with my coursework and doubting my own intelligence and ability; being alone gave me the security of not getting hurt – but let’s face it, who wants to go through life alone?
I’ve been trying to change my focus and work on staying positive – and I think I’m going to try the “I am safe” mantra. Actually, I’m going to try mixing it in with “I am safe. I am enough.” And heck, with all the great things going on in my life right now, maybe I should add “I am one damn lucky gal!”…or something like that 🙂
That helps. I’m a travel agent and while I’ve booked travel for people for 20 years I’ve never tried to put together a group that I would escort and then “sell” until this year. I’m doing a Mediterranean Cruise out of Rome next April and have only sold 6 of the 17 cabins I’v blocked.
I’ve really put myself out there telling myself it’s a super deal and a wonderful trip (It is!) but I’m not a natural saleswoman and I feel vulnerable – and worried that I won’t fill it.
Your post reminds me that we all need to take chances to grow. And if I don’t try I’ll never know…