Kris Carr

Blog Post

How I kept my wings from wilting

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Hi Guys!

Welcome to my new kitchen! After a year of renovating, the farmette is nearly complete. Can I pinch myself now? I can’t believe we pulled this off! I’ve always dreamed of building a house from scratch, especially a kitchen. And I also can’t believe that my actual kitchen and my new book, Crazy Sexy Kitchen are wrapping at the same time. Big smile. Big gratitude.

This past year has been deliciously creative for both me and Brian. I’d write the book all day, he’d work on the house, and at night we’d come together and share our experiences. Though we’re not quite ready to move in (the kitchen is the only finished room!), we’re celebrating how close we are and how far we’ve come (personally and as a couple).

But let’s be real, I was nervous.

At times it felt like we had bitten off way more than we could chew. Days bled into nights and an indescribable tired seeped through our bones. If you’ve been through a major renovation at the same time as an enormous work project, you know exactly what I mean. At the height of it, I started to experience some adrenal issues. Naturally, when the stress materialized in my body, I wondered if we had made a bad decision, and I knew it was time to course correct.

Because I always write what I need to hear, I want to share a mantra that helped soothe the crazy.

“You are safe …”

Can you feel your shoulders relax when you read that? Mine do.

It took me awhile to zero in on that soul medicine. For a long time, I thought I had trust issues. I had a hard time trusting men, my career choices and ultimately, my intuition. I stepped gingerly through life for fear of the door in the floor that would suddenly open and suck me into a metaphoric basement. At their worst, my trust issues made me wickedly constipated (in all areas of life!) TMI? HA! Well I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached countless women who say they can only poop on their own safe and cozy throne. Sound familiar?

As time went on, I remember stepping back and watching my glorious self shrink and get really rigid. Then it dawned on me. The root of my stuff was less about trust and more about safety. And interestingly enough, my distress would often kick in at the precipice of any comfort zone expansion: a new publisher, relationship, job opportunity, health challenge and even more recently with the re-branding of all my websites! Talk about a major growth spurt!

Like me, you may be called to step up and flourish right now. Advice for us: Don’t let your wings wilt. Instead, get really sober about what’s safe and what’s not. Take one of those inner inventories we often talk about. Whether it’s in your mind or on paper, reflect on any drama or stories that might be pushing your fear factor. Once you do, you’ll probably realize that you’re more secure than you think and that the only one holding you back is lovely, well-meaning you. Look, sometimes it’s justified to be scared. But most of the time, creepy town is just an illusion, a silly place that gets amplified in our very clever minds.

In times like these, I like to turn to an affirmation. Here’s one I created for safety …

“I am safe and secure. I exhale any anxiety and inhale calm. As my world expands so do my heart and mind. I am willing to stay open and accept all the miracles and abundance the universe has to offer me.”

Take a few moments to really breathe that in. Notice how it makes you feel. Accept where you currently are (because it’s OK), and when you’re ready, release any residual tension holding you back.

I bring this up because lately I’ve been chatting and chewing about plant-empowered chow. Changing our diets can definitely poke buttons. Growing up, many of us learned that we regularly needed a hunk of beef and a glass of milk to ensure our health. Well, everything I’ve learned as a cancer thriver and wellness activist has proven the contrary. And yet, I always (I mean ALWAYS) get asked the same questions. “But, but, but, what about the protein, the calcium, the iron, what about the XYZ? Is this ‘safe?’” Eating this way is very safe. It may stretch your comfort zone at first, but in the end it just might be the healthiest decision you ever make for you and your family.

I hope this post resonates with you, whether it’s in the kitchen or in life. Leave a message in the comments below if it does. I’d love to meditate on YOUR musings!

Peace & sanctuary,

Add a comment
  1. Kylee says:

    This could not have come at a more perfect time. I find myself lost in CHANGE! My relationships, my job, my finances etc. Every thing around me is changing and i sometimes want to run and hide because it all boils down to me not feeling safe. The “what if’s” are grabbing my attention way more then i would like for them to. I look foreword to this mantra to help me threw these winds of change and i look foreword to opening up more spiritually to them. Thank you Kris for being so beautiful and for making it your life to spread the love, green juice and positive vibes! You are wonderful in every way!

  2. Dana says:

    I loved this.

    I’ve been saying my own version of it the past two days. I got it in my welcome packet for the Hay House weekend at the Javtiz Center in November, hope to see you there!

    “All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good. From this situation only good will come. I am safe.”

    You’re right, it soothes the crazy and makes me calm and happy.

  3. Megan says:

    Kris,
    You are such an inspiration! Beautifully written post.

  4. Kim says:

    I love your article today. I resonate DEEPLY with the notion of the pervasive feeling of -unsafe. So much so that it was easy for me to live in a state of ungroundedness. I once had a gifted psychic say to me, “gosh you have so much to bring to this planet but come ‘on, girl, you leave your body like you blink your eyes. : ) She was right. I’ve since done a TON-O-WORK and and fully in this amazing bod I’ve been given for a while. I appreciate your passion for sharing your insights for healthy living so I can keep it fueled now that I chosen to be here fully. : )

  5. Andrea says:

    I definitely resonate with what you said. I’m exactly going through something like this. Me and my husband are designing an ecological house and will start building in November. I’m also redefining my tiny little business as I feel ready to grow. I feel so scared sometimes, I’ve notice a lot of tension in my back and shoulders and I really felt a relieve when you said “Your safe”. That’s what I needed to hear. We have to be brave to receive (it’s not that easy as many would think) and we have to feel grateful for the opportunities to grow but also be kind to ourselves and acknowledge that it is normal to feel scared and that it’s ok as long as we are aware of our fear and recognize if it is an illusion. Thank you for your insight Cris!

  6. Sandra says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love that you write so freely from the heart. It
    ALWAYS strikes a chord in me and encourages me wherever I am at the time.
    Congratulations on your new kitchen and new book! You are awesome!

  7. Karen says:

    I just wanted to say thank you for the wisdom & affirmations note on your newsletter. It made me cry…I guess I needed that particular affirmation at this particular moment.

  8. Karine says:

    Kriss… this is actually what I did really need today to reassure me about career andrelationship. «You are safe». Thanks,

  9. Christie says:

    I just wanted to add that reading the majority of these responses does make me feel somewhat inadequate and unjustified in my anxiety/overwhelm/stress. I am not blogging or on my tenth book, starting a new business or launching my zillionth website…I have no letters to speak of after my name, I am a homeschooling mother of 4 and besides running around all day doing kid activities and lovin’ them up, that’s it…I also do the books for my husband’s business. I guess everybody has their limits but just being out there all afternoon socializing between drops and pick-ups is enough to make me run for the hills! I am very impressed with you gals!

  10. Christie says:

    Your timing was impeccable! I had been feeling great and then wham! all this anxiety and stress bombarded me this afternoon-I was in “comfort zone expansion”! Now I have a new mantra for situations that push my vulnerability buttons. Thank you! Also, lump me in the “loving my own throne” posse! Gotta be home:)

  11. Jill says:

    Hi Kris,
    Loved your msg. Can’t wait to see more of your new kitchen. I just want to tell you that I loved your movie when it first came out and it really resonated with my story. I had thyroid cancer at age 37, diagnosed in 2002, and like you, I didn’t look like the face of cancer. I was fit, young, a dancer. and ate relatively well, no red meat, lots of whole grains and fiber. My sister had breast cancer at age 50, and my mom died of pancreatic cancer all in the same year! I cleaned up my eating a bit and started eating organic foods, but in the last year (after watching “Forks Over Knives” have become completely vegan. I’m sharing my msg. with others and two days ago started a blog to inspire my friends, and your site is referenced. I’ll give a plug for your new book later today! Soon I will take the plant-based nutrition course at Cornell. Thank you for making healthy eating so palatable, you are a God send to many, and I’m glad you are doing so well! Consider adoption, btw, my 3rd child is adopted, it can happen for you!

  12. Lareesa says:

    Thank you thank you thank you for being real and for being a rock. Maybe more like a stepping stone. You are always there for me to rely on to keep my footing and keep moving forward. I continue to learn so much from you, your experiences and your resources. You remind me that this is a journey into myself and not a quest for perfection. This article resonated perfectly with me today. Thanks! xoxoxo

  13. Kris Carr says:

    What exquisite responses. Soothes my heart and my adrenals! Thanks all. So terrifically happy this post resonated with you. xoox kris

  14. Denise says:

    This has been a really tough year and I, too, have found that the mantra “I am safe” has relaxed me and beat back the fear and anxiety. Great post!

  15. kristin says:

    You are appreciated!!!!!

  16. Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this mama. Came at the perfect time. Not letting the wings wild. I am literally in the process of writing my first online course+ book proposal. My online course called “Healing Broken Wings” haha, and as life often does- the whole process of writing is about me expanding and taking flight. Not allowing my wings to wilt or stay broken and helping others to do the same.

    Thank you for pouring some medicine on my soul.

    xoxo
    Christine

  17. Amanda says:

    Thank you Kris,
    I’m realising that I have some safety issues too. I’m fearful of getting sick again (I have MS). but I’m also fearful of changing my diet (it’s already pretty good but could use some fine tuning). It’s the “why” that matters though, so I have some work to do to get to the bottom of that. Fear of failure? Fear of “missing out”? Fear of it not having the results I’d hoped? I don’t know. I have read your book. I know the reasons and benefits, yet I’m crippled. Something in me keeps buying that last loaf of bread… That last bottle of wine… And that turns into another last loaf and another last bottle.
    I feel the same about other aspects of my life too. A serial procrastinator. Perhaps a subject for my next blog post (I’ve been putting that off too!) So today I’ll use your mantra in my meditation and try to “feel the fear and do it anyway”.
    Thanks Kris!
    Amanda

  18. Anne says:

    Dear Kris,
    Fantastic, timely insight, as usual! Two nights ago, I destroyed some agreements with my world that were holding me back. And today? Bam! My ribs wents out. Lots of yoga.stretching helped, but your wise words and meditation brought clarity. I’d been feeling unsafe and, literally and figuratively, holding my breath. Now I know to breathe safely into my new chapter. Thank you, lovely one! May you, and all of us, be connected to Divine order, and know that we are safe.

  19. Tina says:

    Thank you. I so needed this today.

  20. Frances Arnold says:

    Hi Kris,

    I love your deeply nourishing soul-soothing advice. I relate to your way of life.

    Now, I do have a question. How do you ensure enough B12 and zinc?

    I really appreciate your input.

    Big juicy hugs,

    Frances

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