Blog Post

How I kept my wings from wilting

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Hi Guys!

Welcome to my new kitchen! After a year of renovating, the farmette is nearly complete. Can I pinch myself now? I can’t believe we pulled this off! I’ve always dreamed of building a house from scratch, especially a kitchen. And I also can’t believe that my actual kitchen and my new book, Crazy Sexy Kitchen are wrapping at the same time. Big smile. Big gratitude.

This past year has been deliciously creative for both me and Brian. I’d write the book all day, he’d work on the house, and at night we’d come together and share our experiences. Though we’re not quite ready to move in (the kitchen is the only finished room!), we’re celebrating how close we are and how far we’ve come (personally and as a couple).

But let’s be real, I was nervous.

At times it felt like we had bitten off way more than we could chew. Days bled into nights and an indescribable tired seeped through our bones. If you’ve been through a major renovation at the same time as an enormous work project, you know exactly what I mean. At the height of it, I started to experience some adrenal issues. Naturally, when the stress materialized in my body, I wondered if we had made a bad decision, and I knew it was time to course correct.

Because I always write what I need to hear, I want to share a mantra that helped soothe the crazy.

“You are safe …”

Can you feel your shoulders relax when you read that? Mine do.

It took me awhile to zero in on that soul medicine. For a long time, I thought I had trust issues. I had a hard time trusting men, my career choices and ultimately, my intuition. I stepped gingerly through life for fear of the door in the floor that would suddenly open and suck me into a metaphoric basement. At their worst, my trust issues made me wickedly constipated (in all areas of life!) TMI? HA! Well I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached countless women who say they can only poop on their own safe and cozy throne. Sound familiar?

As time went on, I remember stepping back and watching my glorious self shrink and get really rigid. Then it dawned on me. The root of my stuff was less about trust and more about safety. And interestingly enough, my distress would often kick in at the precipice of any comfort zone expansion: a new publisher, relationship, job opportunity, health challenge and even more recently with the re-branding of all my websites! Talk about a major growth spurt!

Like me, you may be called to step up and flourish right now. Advice for us: Don’t let your wings wilt. Instead, get really sober about what’s safe and what’s not. Take one of those inner inventories we often talk about. Whether it’s in your mind or on paper, reflect on any drama or stories that might be pushing your fear factor. Once you do, you’ll probably realize that you’re more secure than you think and that the only one holding you back is lovely, well-meaning you. Look, sometimes it’s justified to be scared. But most of the time, creepy town is just an illusion, a silly place that gets amplified in our very clever minds.

In times like these, I like to turn to an affirmation. Here’s one I created for safety …

“I am safe and secure. I exhale any anxiety and inhale calm. As my world expands so do my heart and mind. I am willing to stay open and accept all the miracles and abundance the universe has to offer me.”

Take a few moments to really breathe that in. Notice how it makes you feel. Accept where you currently are (because it’s OK), and when you’re ready, release any residual tension holding you back.

I bring this up because lately I’ve been chatting and chewing about plant-empowered chow. Changing our diets can definitely poke buttons. Growing up, many of us learned that we regularly needed a hunk of beef and a glass of milk to ensure our health. Well, everything I’ve learned as a cancer thriver and wellness activist has proven the contrary. And yet, I always (I mean ALWAYS) get asked the same questions. “But, but, but, what about the protein, the calcium, the iron, what about the XYZ? Is this ‘safe?’” Eating this way is very safe. It may stretch your comfort zone at first, but in the end it just might be the healthiest decision you ever make for you and your family.

I hope this post resonates with you, whether it’s in the kitchen or in life. Leave a message in the comments below if it does. I’d love to meditate on YOUR musings!

Peace & sanctuary,

Add a comment
  1. Madeleine Craig says:

    This is a great post for me, too. I’m going through a stressful divorce after leaving a verbally abusive marriage. To leave, and to walk through this divorce I’ve had to stand up for myself in ways I’ve never done before. It’s great news, but it’s as scary as it is exhilarating. I, too, feel like the trap door might just open up underneath me. But the place in me that wants to trust tells me that I am really going to spread my wings and fly once I get through this. I am juicing every day. I am safe. The universe has my back. I’m still transitioning to all veggies, but I’m getting better all the time. And I can sooo feel it when I eat meat, and especially when I eat dairy. Wow! Thanks again, Kris!

  2. Rebekah B says:

    Kris, thank you. I extend unending gratitude for this writing. While I have believed in plant empowerment for quite some time, my focus has been on my last year of graduate school and my internship as of late. The stress did indeed manifest in my body last week and I was fearful my wings were wilting… After much reflection, I am feeling genly encouraged and reading this to begin my week has fostered this growth. Great thanks! 🙂

    P.S. I love your new site and direction; it seems to fit you well and I’m super-excited to receive your new book.

  3. Louisa says:

    Thank you Kris, your e-mails are so uplifting to me, I too have issues with trust, especially in myself.
    I am told I have stage 4 lung C, however my last scan showed that it was shrinking and I am so happy.
    Thank you for all your education on eating green, I do my green juice every morning. Some days I do have
    a hard time not letting my wings wilt, but reading your emails gives me strength again. I have to trust what is inside me and what I know to be true, not what the crazy world out there tells me.
    Thank you,
    Louisa

  4. Tracy says:

    Thank you so much for this . As I go through the next 48 hours until my CT test results of my EHE, I found this article calming. Everything Kris Carr calms me!

    Thank you for being the wonderful you, and devoting your life to making other peoples lives better.
    xo

  5. melissa says:

    Thanks SO much for this post! I’m just back from a short but AMAZING trip to Miraval where I was exploring the very same thing – trust versus fear. I realize my fear gets in my way all the time and it’s the fear that causes me to not trust, rather than trust in and of itself. And what Dr. Tim taught me about was the concept of choosing. He spoke about wanting versus choosing, that wanting begets wanting but choosing is an actual behavior that has power, and rewards. So, I created a little mantra for myself…”I choose life, I choose love, I choose me!” I say this when my chest starts to become tight and when my heart wilts a little and my stomach gets all tied in knots. But I really like your affirmation – so beautiful! I think I’ll start with yours and add mine as the cherry on top!

    • Marie says:

      I love this and will add to my list of quotes ands sayings I read each morning during my “quiet time” as my hubby puts it. I’ve learned for me it works to start and end each day with simple deep breaths, gratitude and inspirational reading…all to remind me of what’s important and manage my anxiety and frustration over my health. I keep it simple. My therapist taught me the mantra “in this moment I am safe.” I believe it’s originally from Louise Hay’s Heal Your Life book. I say whatever works for you do it. Thanks!

  6. sonya says:

    I was really inspired by this article. I realized, after reading it, that it is safety, and not so much trust with which I have an issue. Thank you for writing this.

  7. Karen says:

    Hey Kris, Thanks for your post today! Love Love Love!! It gave me a light-bulb moment with regard to believing that something can be done and that I Can Do It!! Yay!! I do believe our own subconscious is our worst enemy/obstacle of all! Thanks for the great start of the week! You Rock as always! Tell Brian I said “hi” and give Lola a great big nose nuzzle!
    Have a Fantastic Week!

  8. Tammy K. says:

    Yes, Kris–your comments about getting so many questions about not eating beef or drinking milk, give me anxiety enough that sometimes I will eat it when I’m with others so I don’t have to answer the questions and they all roll their eyes. AND then who loses? Yes, me—AGAIN! Still trying to learn to take of me, but after 53 years of dropping me for others it’s a tough new habit to make! But, I’m working on it!

  9. Carie says:

    Thank you Chris for all your inspiration! I am a stage 4 canSer wellness warrior. Treating caSer with your philosophy of diet and spirituality. I find that I do not have the same energy and tire very easily. Do you have the same challenge?

  10. Kim Weiler says:

    Kris – you are such an inspiration! I love reading your blog, They always make me feel more at peace with myself. I always relate in some way and I LOVE your affirmation today:)

    Thank you!

    Kim

  11. Ellen Silverman says:

    How perfect is this post. Your web site is gorgeous and your kitchen is impeccable. Martha Stewart would be green with envy. I am launching my blog and my web site and renovating my home. It’s all too much. Love the mantra. Thank you! Just what I need this week!

  12. Chris – thank you for your words in your post today. As a newly diagnosed breast cancer fighter, your wisdom and teachings about healthy eating have been an important part of my journey. Your mantra today reminds me again of all I am in control of as I journey back to health. Thank You!

  13. jean sampson says:

    Yes, I needed that! It is possible that my art career might actually be coming to fruition after MANY years of me just continuing to paint and teach. The opportunity presented itself to me, I grabbed it —-with unbelievable support from a friend! And, now I just have to wait and see what happens! I have done all I can do! 🙂

  14. Melissa says:

    HI Kris
    I just finished your book and absolutely LOVED it. I have read soooo many book re. health and wellness and have been on a mission lately to find what WORKS for me! I became vegan this year and am transitioniing to being more and more raw. I have obsessed about food and body compositon for as long as I can remember and recently made the decision to eat mindfully and exercise bc I am worth it and I want to live a long, healthy and abundant life. The nice physique is definately an added bonus but I don’t want that to be the driving force behind my self care.
    I am struggling with getting the rest of my family on board- esp my partner whom I like to call the ‘white bread wonder’– and suggestions? I pummel him with knowledge constantly; but for some reason it doesn’t seem to work…lol… I wonder why! Help??
    I am a huge fan and just ordered your cook book. I also just borrowed a juicer from a friend and am starting your cleanse tomorrow. Although I follow a healthy diet; what you stated in your book about cleansing resonated and made alot of sense.
    Much Love
    Melissaxo

  15. Anne says:

    Hi Kris

    I will definitely use that affirmation, thank you. It really resonates with me. I am finally getting serious about my ‘internal’ health and after reading your article I can see this as being one of my issues.

  16. Stephanie says:

    Wow did I need that today. I didn’t realize I was smack Dan in the middle of a fear bases anxiety today. I feel much better now that someone else told me I was safe. Thank you for the reminder! Much love to you and thank you for changing lives!

  17. You’re talking to me Kris! Launching my new business/website, still running my in person practice and clinic, preparing to move out of my house and to Bali, homeschooling my kiddo.

    I find that self care here is critical: yoga, meditation, acupuncture, Korean Spa… Notes from the Universe emails remind me about perspective and my beloved and my daughter remind me about my deep down juicy-true heart values. It seems that simple heart/soul alignment allows all that ever-present prana to flow and fill up my reservoirs (including my adrenals!).

    Good luck to you and all that you are creating! I’ll see you at rhh Live!

    ~Stacy

  18. abby messner says:

    Thanks Kris, I always love reading your latest whatever. Instead of feeling guilt/panic about what I am doing or not doing, your words seem to ground me. Whew. And I LOVE the positive self talk…I mean, why NOT? If I don’t think I’m fabulous, why should anyone else? Happy week to you….
    :)abby

  19. Deirdre says:

    Kris Carr you are like a glass of water, refreshing, necessary and nourishing. Thank you for sharing your expereinces, these words and your wisdom. It was just what I needed. Let us fly!

  20. Susan says:

    Kris, Thank you so much for this post. It is exactly what I need to hear today. I am considering a major career change and the thought brings up such anxiety. You are my hero! Love you, Susan….I am safe.

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