Hi Darling,
Ten years ago, this week, I was given exactly ten years to live. Stage IV cancer, no cure, no treatment, no options. Thankfully my expiration date was inaccurate. Like many people diagnosed with cancer, my life drastically changed that day.
A decade later I can honestly say that cancer changed my life for the brighter and better.
In this blog I’ve reflected on ten tips that helped me and can help you too (whether you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic poop pickle or not). You’ve heard me say many of these things before, but they bear repeating.
As I meditate on the impact that illness has had on my life, I realize I’m a better, more grateful woman today because of cancer. I was asleep at the wheel before cancer shook me awake. And though there’s still no cure (yup, rare diseases don’t get much attention), I continue to live harmoniously with cancer. Once every year and a half I get scanned (hmmm, I think I have one coming up this summer, I forget), otherwise I just live my life. It’s not always easy, but it is my life, and I love it. For me, cancer isn’t a death sentence, at least not today. My disease is the slow-moving-could-get-aggressive-one-day variety. It’s weird and unknown.
Above all, cancer is a spiritual practice that teaches me about faith and resilience. You can learn these skills too.
You don’t need cancer to wake you up like I did.
I hope some of these tips resonate with you. And remember, when the going gets tough, take a really deep breath and trust that you will know exactly what to do. You’re smart and your intuition is rock solid. You’ve got what it takes to live an incredible (pinch yourself) life. Don’t wait. OK?
1. Find the best MDs.
If I had listened to the first doctor, I wouldn’t be here today. Thankfully I was willing to travel and hunt for the best oncologist for my sarcoma. If you’re newly diagnosed (with any medical life lemon), I highly suggest you do the same. Your life is in their hands. Do they have impeccable skill, experience and access to the latest research? Are they tapped into a network of colleagues who can talk about your case? Your local hospital may not cut it.
It took second, third and fourth opinions, but today I have a great oncologist and a strong integrative team. They’re kind, compassionate and treat me like I matter. They’re also very different. My oncologist at Dana Farber Cancer Institute (a sarcoma specialist) understands all the current traditional treatment options for my disease. I still haven’t had any conventional treatment, but should my disease become aggressive, he’d be my first stop. My integrative MDs treat my whole body, not just the symptom. How do they do that? With dietary recommendations, targeted supplements, IV’s, stress management tips and regular tough love (they often bark at me for working too hard!).
How to find an Oncologist
Start by Googling the top 10 cancer hospitals in the U.S. Also, use the resources below to explore the best oncologist for your specific cancer.
- National Cancer Institute’s Office of Cancer Centers
- American Society of Clinical Oncology’s Cancer.Net Cancer Specific Resources
- Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA)
How to find an Integrative MD
Check out the directories below and interview your doctors to make sure they’re the right fit for your healing team.
- Find a Functional Medicine Practitioner
- American College for Advancement in Medicine
- American Association for Naturopathic Physicians
2. Just juice it!
If you really want to turn your health around, start juicing today. As many of you know, daily green juice has been a consistent part of my life for about six years now. Though my disease continues to be stable, I’ve had other health challenges. Without a shadow of a doubt, my green juice practice has been the glue that’s not only held me together, it’s allowed me to thrive in spite of my obstacles.
Juices are hydrating, energizing, nourishing and medicinal (but they don’t have to taste like medicine!). And as for the old “I don’t have enough time” excuse, yes you do, and you’re worth it. So stop that nonsense! When you get good at juicing, it only takes about 20 minutes (especially if you prep your veggies ahead of time and rinse off your juicer right away). If you only have a blender, that’s fine, make smoothies. Blend, baby, blend. Cheers!
3. Eat more plants.
I’ll give cancer props for another minute (just one). The little “c” was the catalyst I needed to find a compassionate way of eating and living. In a nutshell, my food philosophy is as follows: Embrace gorgeous greens, beans, legumes, nuts, seeds, grains, sea veggies, fruits and vegetables galore. Crowd out inflammatory, hormone-filled animal products (even when organic) by filling your plate with plant-strong whole foods. And while you’re at it, pull back on the processed white stuff, especially sugar (it feeds cancer).
If you’re not interested in going full tilt vegan, no worries! Make plants the main dish and animal products the side dish. Reduce your consumption, and do your best to avoid factory farm products. For heavenly plant-inspired recipes, check out my cookbook, Crazy Sexy Kitchen.
4. Beauty 911.
We all have our favorite go-to beauty products. Some are luxurious; others are tried and true drugstore scores. Did you know that the average person uses 9 personal care products per day containing about 126 chemical ingredients? Many of these chemicals have been linked to increased risk of cancer, infertility, birth defects, hormone disruption and the list of dangers goes on. Babies, children, teens, adults — we’re all exposed to these chemicals on a daily basis and there is still much we do not know about their long-term health effects.
Shame on the FDA for not reviewing or approving the majority of personal care products before they go to market. In addition, companies aren’t required to test their products on their own and are allowed to leave hazardous chemicals off their labels. It’s 2013. Why is this ok? Join me in making educated choices about the products we use. Your lashes and longevity will thank you. Use the Environmental Working Group’s tools and resources to get educated and lessen your exposure to toxins.
5. Take ten minutes to move.
I’m a writer, which means that a lot of my day consists of sitting in a chair and staring at a screen while (praying for inspiration) and clacking at the keyboard. Guess what’s happening in my body as I sit and type? Absolutely nothing. My posture slumps and my energy wanes. But studies have shown that even short bursts of exercise can have impressive results for your health — decreasing long-term health risks, boosting your immune system and improving your mood.
You don’t have to have a lot of time or fancy equipment to make a difference. But you do need to get out of that chair and shake booty for ten minutes (preferably a few times a day). Yoga, dance, martial arts, sex, whatever rings your bell! In our ever-busy lifestyle, everyone can find ten minutes — without fail.
6. Take care of your mind.
Before my diagnosis I didn’t give my mind a second thought. It was wild and scattered, full of anxiety and doubt. Post-diagnosis, I knew that the chaos in my mind would only harm my body. So I packed my bags and checked into a zen monastery in New Mexico. It was there that I learned about meditation and breathwork and since then, these basic practices have become my lifeline when I need them.
If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope sweet friend. There will always be dark days. Give yourself and your loved ones (because your mental health affects them too) an everlasting gift by learning how to calm your mind. In addition, you may need some professional support. It might be talk therapy, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), animal-assisted therapy, group counseling, AA, art therapy, or a combination of approaches. Figure out what works for you, and don’t forget a good ole massage from time to time. We hold so many issues in our precious tissues.
7. Adopt a furry friend.
The biggest healers in my life have been my animal companions. As a child I visited the dairy farm across the street from my home on a daily basis and befriended the cows. From that point on, I’ve developed a visceral connection to all creatures, whether I’m at an animal sanctuary, watching a deer disappear into the woods, or hanging out at home with my rescue dog Lola. My cherished fur children have given me more joy and unconditional love than any human (and I have a really close family — no offense, Mom!).
Studies show that pets actually boost our immune system, help us live longer and aid with depression. According to the Centers for Disease Control, pets decrease blood pressure, cholesterol levels, triglyceride levels and feelings of loneliness. They are wise, kind teachers if you’re willing to open your heart and tend to their needs. If you have space in your home, please consider adopting an animal in need. Every week we include animal adoptions in our newsletter. If you’re not on our mailing list, whatcha waiting for, zesty hot stuff!
8. Create a new tribe.
Releasing toxic people and embracing supportive, loving people is deeply healing. Are you walking on eggshells with a certain someone? Pretending to be someone you’re not for fear of rejection? It’s time to find out. The quickest way to identify who should stay in your life and who should get the boot is to just be yourself. Who cheers you on? Who boos and brings you down? The answers are clear and so are your choices.
As you rise and acknowledge your light, you’ll find that new, exciting, supportive people start moving your way. When I began walking my talk, I quickly connected with soulful biz-savvy women, innovators, change-makers, thought leaders, activists and other compassionate, holy beings. My entire life shifted toward that warm energy. Today my community is an infinite galaxy of inspiration. Not because I shrunk to meet the expectations of others, but because I grew to become the person I wanted to be. You can too. Actually, you must.
9. Unconditional acceptance.
Accepting where we are right now is the path of the mature spiritual warrior. It takes courage to embrace your current situation, to be present and loving towards yourself exactly as you are. Truthfully, why wouldn’t you accept yourself? You are your reality. You are your truth. Can you change? Absolutely! But even talking about change puts us in the future. And while there’s definitely a time for that, building a strong foundation on the now will allow you to consistently love and care for yourself. Stop for a minute. Give yourself props for the hard work it took to get where you are today. Bow to your resilience. Take in your good. If you’re hell bent on strategizing about all that could be better, then you must promise to give equal time to what’s amazing right now.
When I was first diagnosed, my burning goal was remission. Anything else seemed like colossal failure. And even worse — my fault. Ten years later, I’m a master at my own advice. I. Accept. Me. Cancer and all. Does that mean that I’ve given up on my health? Of course not! Acceptance is different from quitting. It means that no matter what happens, you won’t abandon yourself in your time of need. And here’s the the part that contributes to your overall well being: Acceptance allows you to rest, renew and replenish — rather than stress over what isn’t going your way. You are your own angel, treat yourself as such. Stand by your own side as you try new things and spread your wings. Life doesn’t start when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved. Life is now. Don’t wait it away.
10. Go for it.
Everyone has something special stirring inside. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to open a natural pet foods store. Maybe you’ve dreamed of volunteering for a political campaign or simply going to the Grand Canyon with your kids. I wanted to make a film and write some books. The odds were not in my favor — financially, physically or emotionally, but I did it anyway. And I’m pretty happy that I did.
Some leaps will seem small and others sweeping, but they all call us to have faith in ourselves.
I found the love of my life after my diagnosis and though remission was my prerequisite, it wasn’t his. I left a career that was draining my life force and took a gamble on starting my own business. I moved out of the city and worked with my husband to rebuild a broken down farmette because we had a calling to create a sanctuary — a place to rescue animals, grow vegetables, write, live and give. With each of these steps, I just had to go for it. There are no safety nets. No guarantees. Sometimes we will all fall down, but now that I’ve taken the past decade to embrace these ten tips, I know that I’ll be okay. The risks are worth it because life is worth living. Living like we really mean it. If you haven’t already, I invite you to join me. Because you deserve love, health and true happiness. And it’s here for the taking.
Thank you for all your love these past ten years!
My readers are my virtual family. I cherish you! Keep taking care of yourselves. Your health is a gift.
I love you.
Peace & celebration!
My brother sent me a link to your life, and, as a person living with cancer, I have found reading this post (the first of many of your posts I plan to read now) quite inspirational. I am a half marathon runner, mountain bike rider and like you, I too am a writer. I aspire to one day find my niche and bring in some residual income with my writing, but for now I am trapped within the gray fabric walls of my 7-4 State job.
Thank you for sharing your life and experiences with me and the world.
Jeff
You are such an inspiration and so brave and you just shine. You inspire and save people! Sending so much love and light your way!
You have shed so much light and hope for me in my own cancer journey. Decisions are difficult when you are faced with a disease that ensues fear. Thank you for being so true to yourself and therefore supportive of all of survivors’ journeys. xo
Happy Anniversary, Kris! Thanks for being an inspiration and a friend for those of us walking the walk of CanSir. I so appreciate that you share your joi de vivre AND the fact that it ain’t always easy. Love and blessings, sister.
Thank you! I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer a year ago. Next week, I will have my 6 month PET scan and this is when I feel the most anxious. Reading your story has helped me feel more positive. Here’s to many more cancer free decades for us…and all the the people out there who share our diagnosis.
Hello Kris! Happy Anniversary and many happy returns to you! My loving sister Nancy, bought me your book in two thousand eight, when I was first diagnosed with stage 3c Ovarian cancer. Wow! Your book saved my life! By the way I did use the cancer card! It works. I was in joyful remission for six years. I found out quite by accident that my cancer has returned and is now lodging in my pancreas. By the way, I am a fifty six years old woman. I used my time wisely, when I was in remission. I faced my alcoholism, went through a heavy recovery program as well as mental health hospitalization to deal with my life long depression and anxiety. Rebuilt my relationship with my hubby who is my love and friend for the past forty years. Started a recovery page for addictions and wrote a book about taking care of my dying mom last year. Life has been so good to me Kris! Cancer, in a way is a gift. It allows us to release with love people, places or situations that are not for our highest good. And be o.k. with it. But I suppose I have more to learn because I am once again facing myself through living with cancer. I am going to make it. No, I am making it. There is no end. So, wanted to check on you. Thank you and see what you have been up to. You are a mentor for me. I am once again reading your marvelous book. Love and joy to you my sister warrior. Elena.
The ongoing chemo therapies are leaving me quite fatiguedand a little depressed at times. This has inspired me not to give up and to look forward to a life on my own terms . Thanks.
I have never forgotten your joyous spirit, even though I have not experienced cancer, you have been an inspiration to me. So glad you outlived Your expiration date and really lived, loved you.
You rock! I thought I had strained my back. Finally got an xray, The man who read it said, mild scoliosis and suggested massage. I knew there was more so I headed to a chiropractor. After 3 weeks I was in horrible pain and went to an ortho. He took an xray, Then a MRI. Tennis ball size mass around my L5 which had me on the brink of paralysis. Thanks to that wonderful man I was in surgery to relieve the pressure on my spinal cord and then was sent to radiation to take care of what he couldn’t do. I just finished radiation on Friday the 10th. The kicker for me was this tumor spread from my lung. I’m not a smoker. I don’t fit the profile for lung cancer and now I’m told I have stage 4. We are waiting results now of a biopsy the took last week. I already had started a healthy diet but my friend just gave me your name last night so now I will be reading all about you! I am 56 with two incredible boys, 20 and 16. I love my life and have no intention of going anywhere other than vacations and their weddings! . No telling where this thing came from and if we all ate like you to start with, it most likely wouldn’t be an issue!. Thank you for all the leg work you’ve done to help people like me. There’s so much out there and it really gets overwhelming. I am very grateful Kris (my friend, maybe it’s the name? :-)) gave me your info. You may have just helped save another life. XO
Happy late anniversary to you and your decade mark! Thank you for helping me survive my diagnosis. I watched your movie and read your books, learned to meditate, and love myself unconditionally. Your attitude and spunk lifted my spirits at the darkest time of my life. This year is my third year of finishing treatment and being Cancer free and I know I am healed. Thanks for mentioning the lack of regulation in the cosmetics industry. I now sell a personal care line that is on a mission to change this. I am working daily to get our government to help make changes to this and need the help of everyone affected by Cancer https://ginag.beautycounter.com/Home to make a difference!
You’re a rockstar. I started to re-read “crazy, sexy, diet” again (3 or 4 or 5 or maybe 6th time, not sure). I love this book. I want to say thank you for writing it, and just being awesome in general. Every once in a while I re-read certain books that I find inspiring like re-reading a quote that’s inspiring and your book is one of them. I’m a fan of your journey, and I want you to know you have impacted mine.
Keep shining!
this may be a little late but congrats on the 10 years shining so far…. or 12 now. yay!
I saw your film last night in a class at the adult school which I work for. The class title is total body
reboot. I am taking the class with my daughter Haley who is going to school to become a registered
dietitian. She has been a crusader of your kind of lifestyle and we have taken baby steps to get here.
My eyes have been completely opened up, (Haley said we just couldn’t believe her, we had to hear from someone else). Back to your film, I loved it, I laughed, I cried, and I cringed.. I am totally blown away by you, your family and those you surround yourself with, you are truly inspirational.
Blessings,
Vicki
Loved reading your blog . I had uterine cancer in December and have had a total hysterectomy and now have gone into the menapause . I want to change my diet and I am a big animal lover . I am 51 years old and need advise on how to get healthy . I was advised to contact you through a lady who does Acupuncture . All the best
Mandy
And adjust according to those needs every time you start your
work out. Wii dumbbells may make the difference in your workout.
There are some organizations and platforms out there that can provide you with instant industry ranking based
on the qualifications or parameters that they
have set on their own.
You are an amazing person; your positivity and love inspire me. May you continue to thrive for many years!
Kris: you are such an inspiration! I am only sorry I didn’t know about you sooner!
Many many congratulations on your wonderful anniversary, and many many happy returns!
Thank you very much for sharing! You are an amazing person and I admire you so much
True Lorie, she is really is an amazing person.
I lost my sister 2 years ago to cancer. I’m a student studying nursing and have a paper i have to write on cancer. I chose to write my paper on Alternative therapy for cancer patients. I am amazed at how hard it is to find peer reviewed articles supporting alternative treatment. My friend turned me on to your blog page and i want to say congratulation on your ten years. You have a lovely web page and i enjoyed reading about the things that have contributed to helping you win your battle. I hope you don’t mind if i reference the link in my research paper. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world, you are a very inspiring individual.
I read it just now (May, 2014) hence the late respond…
I wish you more healthy decades to come. You are most inspiring spirit and I thank you for sharing.
I raise my kids (and myself, I must say) in the mantra of start now, don’t wait for the next minute. And for me I say It’s better late then ever, as I’m not young and doubts crawling every time I’m in the pursue my passion and discover my meaning mood.. So, thank you for what you do and keep on changing the world, one woman at a time..
Kris you are an wonderful inspiration and a gift to us all. I am 10 months into battling metastatic Renal Cell Carcinoma and so often on what I call my weepy weak days I have found something to smile about in your blogs or on your facebook page. I am just up I87 in Saratoga Springs and I hope that some day I get the honor of seeing you in person. You have such a gentle personna and a great out look on life. Thank you for all the time and energy you put into guiding people to a better life.
Regards ~ Sarah Warrior Princess