Hi Darling,
Ten years ago, this week, I was given exactly ten years to live. Stage IV cancer, no cure, no treatment, no options. Thankfully my expiration date was inaccurate. Like many people diagnosed with cancer, my life drastically changed that day.
A decade later I can honestly say that cancer changed my life for the brighter and better.
In this blog I’ve reflected on ten tips that helped me and can help you too (whether you’ve been diagnosed with a chronic poop pickle or not). You’ve heard me say many of these things before, but they bear repeating.
As I meditate on the impact that illness has had on my life, I realize I’m a better, more grateful woman today because of cancer. I was asleep at the wheel before cancer shook me awake. And though there’s still no cure (yup, rare diseases don’t get much attention), I continue to live harmoniously with cancer. Once every year and a half I get scanned (hmmm, I think I have one coming up this summer, I forget), otherwise I just live my life. It’s not always easy, but it is my life, and I love it. For me, cancer isn’t a death sentence, at least not today. My disease is the slow-moving-could-get-aggressive-one-day variety. It’s weird and unknown.
Above all, cancer is a spiritual practice that teaches me about faith and resilience. You can learn these skills too.
You don’t need cancer to wake you up like I did.
I hope some of these tips resonate with you. And remember, when the going gets tough, take a really deep breath and trust that you will know exactly what to do. You’re smart and your intuition is rock solid. You’ve got what it takes to live an incredible (pinch yourself) life. Don’t wait. OK?
1. Find the best MDs.
If I had listened to the first doctor, I wouldn’t be here today. Thankfully I was willing to travel and hunt for the best oncologist for my sarcoma. If you’re newly diagnosed (with any medical life lemon), I highly suggest you do the same. Your life is in their hands. Do they have impeccable skill, experience and access to the latest research? Are they tapped into a network of colleagues who can talk about your case? Your local hospital may not cut it.
It took second, third and fourth opinions, but today I have a great oncologist and a strong integrative team. They’re kind, compassionate and treat me like I matter. They’re also very different. My oncologist at Dana Farber Cancer Institute (a sarcoma specialist) understands all the current traditional treatment options for my disease. I still haven’t had any conventional treatment, but should my disease become aggressive, he’d be my first stop. My integrative MDs treat my whole body, not just the symptom. How do they do that? With dietary recommendations, targeted supplements, IV’s, stress management tips and regular tough love (they often bark at me for working too hard!).
How to find an Oncologist
Start by Googling the top 10 cancer hospitals in the U.S. Also, use the resources below to explore the best oncologist for your specific cancer.
- National Cancer Institute’s Office of Cancer Centers
- American Society of Clinical Oncology’s Cancer.Net Cancer Specific Resources
- Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA)
How to find an Integrative MD
Check out the directories below and interview your doctors to make sure they’re the right fit for your healing team.
- Find a Functional Medicine Practitioner
- American College for Advancement in Medicine
- American Association for Naturopathic Physicians
2. Just juice it!
If you really want to turn your health around, start juicing today. As many of you know, daily green juice has been a consistent part of my life for about six years now. Though my disease continues to be stable, I’ve had other health challenges. Without a shadow of a doubt, my green juice practice has been the glue that’s not only held me together, it’s allowed me to thrive in spite of my obstacles.
Juices are hydrating, energizing, nourishing and medicinal (but they don’t have to taste like medicine!). And as for the old “I don’t have enough time” excuse, yes you do, and you’re worth it. So stop that nonsense! When you get good at juicing, it only takes about 20 minutes (especially if you prep your veggies ahead of time and rinse off your juicer right away). If you only have a blender, that’s fine, make smoothies. Blend, baby, blend. Cheers!
3. Eat more plants.
I’ll give cancer props for another minute (just one). The little “c” was the catalyst I needed to find a compassionate way of eating and living. In a nutshell, my food philosophy is as follows: Embrace gorgeous greens, beans, legumes, nuts, seeds, grains, sea veggies, fruits and vegetables galore. Crowd out inflammatory, hormone-filled animal products (even when organic) by filling your plate with plant-strong whole foods. And while you’re at it, pull back on the processed white stuff, especially sugar (it feeds cancer).
If you’re not interested in going full tilt vegan, no worries! Make plants the main dish and animal products the side dish. Reduce your consumption, and do your best to avoid factory farm products. For heavenly plant-inspired recipes, check out my cookbook, Crazy Sexy Kitchen.
4. Beauty 911.
We all have our favorite go-to beauty products. Some are luxurious; others are tried and true drugstore scores. Did you know that the average person uses 9 personal care products per day containing about 126 chemical ingredients? Many of these chemicals have been linked to increased risk of cancer, infertility, birth defects, hormone disruption and the list of dangers goes on. Babies, children, teens, adults — we’re all exposed to these chemicals on a daily basis and there is still much we do not know about their long-term health effects.
Shame on the FDA for not reviewing or approving the majority of personal care products before they go to market. In addition, companies aren’t required to test their products on their own and are allowed to leave hazardous chemicals off their labels. It’s 2013. Why is this ok? Join me in making educated choices about the products we use. Your lashes and longevity will thank you. Use the Environmental Working Group’s tools and resources to get educated and lessen your exposure to toxins.
5. Take ten minutes to move.
I’m a writer, which means that a lot of my day consists of sitting in a chair and staring at a screen while (praying for inspiration) and clacking at the keyboard. Guess what’s happening in my body as I sit and type? Absolutely nothing. My posture slumps and my energy wanes. But studies have shown that even short bursts of exercise can have impressive results for your health — decreasing long-term health risks, boosting your immune system and improving your mood.
You don’t have to have a lot of time or fancy equipment to make a difference. But you do need to get out of that chair and shake booty for ten minutes (preferably a few times a day). Yoga, dance, martial arts, sex, whatever rings your bell! In our ever-busy lifestyle, everyone can find ten minutes — without fail.
6. Take care of your mind.
Before my diagnosis I didn’t give my mind a second thought. It was wild and scattered, full of anxiety and doubt. Post-diagnosis, I knew that the chaos in my mind would only harm my body. So I packed my bags and checked into a zen monastery in New Mexico. It was there that I learned about meditation and breathwork and since then, these basic practices have become my lifeline when I need them.
If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope sweet friend. There will always be dark days. Give yourself and your loved ones (because your mental health affects them too) an everlasting gift by learning how to calm your mind. In addition, you may need some professional support. It might be talk therapy, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), animal-assisted therapy, group counseling, AA, art therapy, or a combination of approaches. Figure out what works for you, and don’t forget a good ole massage from time to time. We hold so many issues in our precious tissues.
7. Adopt a furry friend.
The biggest healers in my life have been my animal companions. As a child I visited the dairy farm across the street from my home on a daily basis and befriended the cows. From that point on, I’ve developed a visceral connection to all creatures, whether I’m at an animal sanctuary, watching a deer disappear into the woods, or hanging out at home with my rescue dog Lola. My cherished fur children have given me more joy and unconditional love than any human (and I have a really close family — no offense, Mom!).
Studies show that pets actually boost our immune system, help us live longer and aid with depression. According to the Centers for Disease Control, pets decrease blood pressure, cholesterol levels, triglyceride levels and feelings of loneliness. They are wise, kind teachers if you’re willing to open your heart and tend to their needs. If you have space in your home, please consider adopting an animal in need. Every week we include animal adoptions in our newsletter. If you’re not on our mailing list, whatcha waiting for, zesty hot stuff!
8. Create a new tribe.
Releasing toxic people and embracing supportive, loving people is deeply healing. Are you walking on eggshells with a certain someone? Pretending to be someone you’re not for fear of rejection? It’s time to find out. The quickest way to identify who should stay in your life and who should get the boot is to just be yourself. Who cheers you on? Who boos and brings you down? The answers are clear and so are your choices.
As you rise and acknowledge your light, you’ll find that new, exciting, supportive people start moving your way. When I began walking my talk, I quickly connected with soulful biz-savvy women, innovators, change-makers, thought leaders, activists and other compassionate, holy beings. My entire life shifted toward that warm energy. Today my community is an infinite galaxy of inspiration. Not because I shrunk to meet the expectations of others, but because I grew to become the person I wanted to be. You can too. Actually, you must.
9. Unconditional acceptance.
Accepting where we are right now is the path of the mature spiritual warrior. It takes courage to embrace your current situation, to be present and loving towards yourself exactly as you are. Truthfully, why wouldn’t you accept yourself? You are your reality. You are your truth. Can you change? Absolutely! But even talking about change puts us in the future. And while there’s definitely a time for that, building a strong foundation on the now will allow you to consistently love and care for yourself. Stop for a minute. Give yourself props for the hard work it took to get where you are today. Bow to your resilience. Take in your good. If you’re hell bent on strategizing about all that could be better, then you must promise to give equal time to what’s amazing right now.
When I was first diagnosed, my burning goal was remission. Anything else seemed like colossal failure. And even worse — my fault. Ten years later, I’m a master at my own advice. I. Accept. Me. Cancer and all. Does that mean that I’ve given up on my health? Of course not! Acceptance is different from quitting. It means that no matter what happens, you won’t abandon yourself in your time of need. And here’s the the part that contributes to your overall well being: Acceptance allows you to rest, renew and replenish — rather than stress over what isn’t going your way. You are your own angel, treat yourself as such. Stand by your own side as you try new things and spread your wings. Life doesn’t start when “this, that or the other thing” is resolved. Life is now. Don’t wait it away.
10. Go for it.
Everyone has something special stirring inside. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to open a natural pet foods store. Maybe you’ve dreamed of volunteering for a political campaign or simply going to the Grand Canyon with your kids. I wanted to make a film and write some books. The odds were not in my favor — financially, physically or emotionally, but I did it anyway. And I’m pretty happy that I did.
Some leaps will seem small and others sweeping, but they all call us to have faith in ourselves.
I found the love of my life after my diagnosis and though remission was my prerequisite, it wasn’t his. I left a career that was draining my life force and took a gamble on starting my own business. I moved out of the city and worked with my husband to rebuild a broken down farmette because we had a calling to create a sanctuary — a place to rescue animals, grow vegetables, write, live and give. With each of these steps, I just had to go for it. There are no safety nets. No guarantees. Sometimes we will all fall down, but now that I’ve taken the past decade to embrace these ten tips, I know that I’ll be okay. The risks are worth it because life is worth living. Living like we really mean it. If you haven’t already, I invite you to join me. Because you deserve love, health and true happiness. And it’s here for the taking.
Thank you for all your love these past ten years!
My readers are my virtual family. I cherish you! Keep taking care of yourselves. Your health is a gift.
I love you.
Peace & celebration!
I am so happy for you, Kris! And happy for me, for finding you!
I celebrate with you Kris….We love you!!!! Blessings!!!
Kris, You are amazing!! From the time I found your Crazy Sexy Cancer video to now with your wonderful blog and books, I am inspired by you everyday. Everyone needs to find themselves and wake up. I hope you feel good everyday. And know that you are so appreciated. Happy Anniversary!!! Love, Robyn from Atlanta, GA
What an amazing story & journey! Thank you so much for sharing it. I wish you many many many more years of health & joy!!!
Kris,
Thank you for this beautiful post! This was very touching and I am definitely going to share it. Point on.
Cheers Warrior!!! Thank you for sharing your victories and your defeats! You are so very inspirational to so many! Please know that you are saving lives and souls every day!
Thank you for the weekly reminders of the need to live my life on my terms. I feel positive over all, but I find my self being distracted by the noise of life. I love your weekly reminders of balance, acceptance, healthy living and loving. I know if I take one day at a time and try not to let fear dictate my life I am happier. Thank you!
Congrats Kris! You are an inspiration! Thanks for putting a smile on my face everyday, I appreciate your fresh personality, positive thinking and yummmmmy tasty recipes! Sending lots of love your way! Nadia x
*****HAPPY ANNIVERSARY KRIS!*****
I’m very glad you’re here. Thank you, for ALL you have chosen to share.
Dear Kris,
Thank you for your generosity. You have opened my soul and therefore my own journey does not seem so scary any more. I am looking forward to my discoveries. I am a better person already.
Continue your work in health and with Love!
Many happy thoughts from windy Copenhagen.
Agnieszka
Great article, thank you for sharing. Wishing you a lot of health and happiness. What retreat did you go to in New Mexico?
Thank you for this inspiring post. I’m so grateful for it, it was just what I needed today. Congratulations on all your success so far and may you have even more in the future!
WOW Kris… How exquisite your every word is above. Hi. I am a reader from NY and have been following you since 2008, when I had a double mastectomy, following a breast cancer diagnosis. I am also a therapist and it was one of my long time clients that recommended your Crazy Sexy Cancer blog.
Tomorrow is my father’s 80thbirthday and it has been 10 years since he died. He did not die of cancer. But it is an anniversary week. On Jan.29 it was 5 years for me since my beautiful ‘girls’ came to me. I always say I am 49, but my ‘girls’ are a mere 5 years old.
As a result of my experience, I have a passion to educate surgeons and medical professional on how to be empathic and more human when they are presenting all the medical information. I want people to feel respected but more than that, understood, and not rushed to make life changing decisions, at the speed doctors were penciling me in for surgeries that were going to take a year of my life.
Reading your article today, I got chills and smiled through it for you. You are such an inspiration and you have a light that surrounds you that is so contagious. (e or o?)
I do EFT, attend OA for the past 20 years, meditate and am a part of so many spiritual groups, some of them self created.
What you wrote about not being smaller but just being yourself to weed out the ones that will not be able to accept the grandest version of YOU, and to go out there and LIVE LIVE LIVE…Thank you so much for speaking the words I hold in my heart, but do not always have the courage to live.
Sending you light, lots of healing always and wishing you 10 times what you have given all of us…lucky enough to have found you. You embody passion for living, especially when you are scared, and sharing with us all of your humanness. Happy Anniversary!!
To a thousand more…
Gratitude from a NY reader and fellow traveler,
Marilyn
Wow — what a gift you have shared here!! Thank you!! I will definitely share this inspiring and invaluable information!!
Peace and Congratulations!!
Love this post! Hooray for 10 years of thriving. 3 1/2 years ago, you gave me hope when my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. We are both thriving now. Thank you for all you do, Kris!
Hello. Just want to share how happy I am to be having my 3rd anniversary of being healthy and free of rectal cancer as of April 2013. Everything that could go “right”, did, and I am here to share my success and eternal gratitude!
Thanks so much for sharing your work and inspiration. I’m working to pull myself out of a dark mental and physical place that has been affecting me and my loved ones for nearly 12 years. Your newsletter and blog has become part of my life affirming arsenal that’s helping me reclaim myself. Congratulations on your 10 years of triumphs big and small, and here’s to decades more!
Kris, you are an inspiration to everyone whose life you enter, whether it is in person on via the web. Happy anniversary. Thank you for all that you do and all that you have taught your fans! Keep thriving and keep juicing! xoxo
Thanks, Kris. Keep on rocking your and my world. Acceptance, eh? And going for my dream…I am working on it! Love and Light to you and to 150 more years! Steffi
What an amazing story, congratulations! Your journey provides a lot of positive inspiration. I remember reading a post on facebook saying ‘your life is your message to the world’. It’s so true, the best way to bring about positive change and to help people around you, is to be the best you can be and the change you want to see. By shaping yourself to be anything other than ‘you’ in order to ‘fit in’, stops your gift/message to the world being seen/heard. There’s no point shaping yourself to another, because everyone is here to bring their own message. x
Thank you for being you Kris- you are my super hero, that sounds like big shoes to fill…but the magic is you are my superhero because you are you, authentic, open, honest and brimming with compassion. Happy Anniversary <3