The power of unconditional acceptance
October 22, 2012
Once upon a time, I wanted to be a movie star, a fancy photographer, a pilot. I wanted to dance on Broadway (I did). I wanted my film, Crazy Sexy Cancer, to win an Emmy (it didn’t). I’ve wanted a lot of things. Some stuff I got, others I didn’t.
Like many folks, I’ve had multiple careers, five to be exact. Then, I settled into writing and chatting with you. To be honest, I like this career the best. Why? Because it challenges me to be real, authentic and vulnerable. Those squishy qualities can be spooky to share, especially publicly. After all, everyone wants to be liked. But as I approach ten years of living Crazy Sexy style and yet another book launch, what I know in my bones is this: The more I accept who I truly am, the more I shine like a diamond. This is true for you too.
Chew on this concept with me: It’s OK to accept myself unconditionally.
Here’s your affirmation: I love and accept myself exactly the way I am.
It hurts my heart to reflect back on the multiple times in my life when I felt like I wasn’t “good enough.” I was so very hard on myself. I felt like I had to jump through hoops to be loved and appreciated. Rarely was I at peace with my efforts. I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached hundreds of women who have felt the same. Funny, the few dudes who were brave enough to share their shizzle with me didn’t have these issues. But that’s another topic for another time. Our girls clearly need healthier messages.
If I could wave a magic wand and globally undo the blinding, binding words, “not good enough,” I would. But to be honest, that’s not my job. It’s yours to do it for yourself. But guess what? It’s simpler than you think.
For quite sometime now, I’ve been working on accepting myself completely. All of me. My brilliance, my so-called weaknesses, even my morning breath and most importantly, my dozens of incurable tumors. Now some might say, “But if you accept your disease (or your fill-in-the-blank), isn’t that like admitting failure?” Nope-sy. Unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean that we give up or wave the white flag, that’s quitting. Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are.
Being at peace with what is creates a vast and holy space for healing. Remember, stress bleeds all life force. Accepting and honoring every ounce of Kris allows me to rest and renew. From that relaxed and receptive space, we gain the clarity and strength needed to create a blueprint for a happy, healthy life.
Fall in love.
When we accept ourselves exactly as we are, in exactly this moment, we shift from living for tomorrow to appreciating today. Acceptance heals. Rejection harms. Nurture and nourish yourself. Here’s how.
- Develop a connection to spirit
- Allow for quiet time (shhh)
- Forgive (yourself and that jerk)
- Welcome (and tend to) loving relationships
- Release unloving relationships (buh-bye emotional vampires)
- Lay in the sun
- Move your glorious body
- Eat plants (chomp, chomp, yum)
- Breathe deeply often
Each time I release a book into the world, I worry. Is it good enough? And then, I remember. Acceptance. I replace my fear with my affirmation. I love and accept myself exactly the way I am (and I love and accept this fabulous creation exactly the way it is!). From that place, I can be present and soak in moments like the one I had while reading the latest issue of VegNews Magazine. Crazy Sexy Kitchen received its first rave review. Thank you, VegNews! They gushed all over the cookbook (coming out next week!).
“With Crazy Sexy Kitchen, Carr is arming readers with a laundry list of delicious recipes…If ever there was a vegan chef fantasy team this would be it … Reading the book already feels like you are at the party with Carr and her compassionate cohorts … It’s fun, it’s edgy … Carr, Sarno, and friends have created a lasting tome that’s sure to persuade the palates of innumerable people.”
If you’re like me, you may get squeamish around compliments. You shrug them off or deflect them back to the compliment giver. “No, YOU are great. No, YOU are more great.” However, when we practice unconditional acceptance, we challenge ourselves to say two very powerful words.
As my dear friend Cheryl Richardson reminded me on the phone recently, “Life loves you, Kris.” Thank you, Cheryl.
Dear readers, life loves you too. Exactly the way you are. Today. Breathe it in. Ole!
Now, it’s your turn: What would be possible if you gave yourself the same unconditional acceptance that you give to others?
Peace & acceptance,