Younger Self

A love note…to your younger self

July 8, 2014|63Comments|


Hi Sweet Friends,

I recently posted the picture above on Facebook with this caption:

“Fill in the rest of this sentence: If I could give my younger self some nurturing advice, I would tell her (or him)…”

The response from my Facebook family was so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you. Heartfelt notes of self-love, self-encouragement and self-compassion poured into the comments section. I think we raised the energy on the worldwide web that day! Here are a few of your lovely notes:

Kim wrote: Your red hair makes you special in the best way. Wear that with super goddess strength. The teasing and the name calling is just teaching you how to be STRONG!! Also LOVE your body its the only one you have got and its freaking AMAZING!!! Your legs your skin your eyes all of it. Treasure it and treat it like a goddess.

Eileen wrote: To keep dreaming big, hold your head high and don’t get caught up with the expectations and limitations of those around you. It’s OK to look in the mirror and like yourself, it’s OK to smile a lot, it’s OK to be happy and let the little things make you smile.

Beril wrote: Do not be scared so much and do not waste your time by thinking about what others have said, done to you, do not try to comfort them, do not try to please them, do not be scared of the changes life brings, everything works and life goes on somehow, be faithful, let go, do not try to save the world, do the best for yourself, listen to yourself and take care of yourself, love yourself, forgive yourself, enjoy every moment, if something difficult is going on then hug yourself first and be your genuine presence to yourself first, when it comes to others give, love, forgive and show compassion without any expectation, free yourself from good or bad opinion of others …

Lucy wrote: Life will get better, little one. Your mom and sister really do love you. You are precious, worthy of love and deserve to feel safe. The bullies are suffering from their own problems and it’s not about you. Your soulmate will be in freshman English with you so stay in school or you won’t get another chance until 13 years later. Take solace in your school work and you will have opportunities for a better life.

Here’s what I would say: Dark nights are inevitable, don’t fight them, surrender sweet darling. You’ll figure it out. You’ll grow from this. You’ll grow and shine brighter than you can possibly imagine.

I invite you to take 5 minutes to do this simple exercise.

All you need is a pen and paper, or your computer. I want you to think about the mini-you. The kid that still lives in you but might not get the same care and attention anymore.

Write a note to that awesome kid. What would you tell him or her? Does she need some kind words to help her get through a tough time? Maybe he’s hanging onto self-doubt or shame and could use your unconditional love to finally release what’s holding him back. Or perhaps she’s got a big dream and needs your encouragement to take a leap of faith. Whatever it is, show your support for your inner whippersnapper.

No one has to see this note, so don’t edit your words. And in case you need a little help finding the words, I created this collage of even more comments from the Facebook post I mentioned earlier. Read it out loud. Print it and post it on your fridge, above your desk, or next to your bathroom mirror. Pass it along to someone who needs it.

This practice is a love note from your true self. The more you do it (and listen to your own advice) the easier it will be embrace who you are right now.

YoungerSelf-Collage



Your turn: If you feel drawn to share your advice to your younger self, post it in the comments below. I can’t wait to read your love notes!

Peace & self-compassion,

Kris Carr



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63 responses to A love note…to your younger self
  1. Matt nobody knows the rules to this crazy game. Follow your heart, dream big, and don’t be so concerned abou what others think of you. Make it your own. This life is such a beautiful gift so get out there and live it, experience it, make mistakes, brush yourself off, and continue to love to a degree you never thought possible. It is about the journey and your companions so laugh often, make fun of everything, and treasure those dear friends that make everything better.

  2. I know it sounds silly and vain but I’d tell myself QUIT worrying about your skin, no one gives a shit about your breakouts!

  3. Have faith in yourself. Study hard! No one can take what you have learned away from you!

  4. Being shy and too tall, and looking odd with all those braces on your teeth just means you’re going to be faboulous, strong and creative. Don’t wait so long until you realize that, look for your goals earlier.

  5. Believe in yourself. No matter what anyone says. You are loved, and you are not only worthwhile, you are integral to this world and to this life. Believe. Trust yourself. Your intuition is correct – trust it above the opinions of those around you. Believe in yourself, because you are a powerful being who can manifest any reality she desires. Believe in yourself, in your worth, in your dreams. Believe and they will be yours.

  6. I love you!!! I truly love-adore-and support you unconditionally sweet baby!! Life is going to get pretty dark and this is part of your amazing journey!! You will break over to the other side and everything will make sense. I love you i love you i unconditionally love YOU xx

  7. Dear kid, loads of love to you!!!!! You are loved and deserve best of the things in this world!! Just don’t give up! DON’T QUIT. Life has ups and downs. But God loves you and He will keep you going.. just hold HIS HAND and things will eventually get better.. don’t punish yourself for mistakes others did. HE SEES ALL!!! Lastly don’t take yourself granted because you’re the best of all angles :)

  8. You’re loved, hugged, and kissed in every moment even when you’re not so smile! The relationships you have and share with people are like water drink it all in. Breathe in the day like you would a flower, slowly.
    Fear grows more fear and constricts to a narrow view. Love grows more of everything that radiates from your heart and expands in all directions. Oh, don’t forget to floss. I Love You!

    • Lei said on July 8, 2014

      Too cute! I lol with the flossing part. I wouldn’t have thought to put that in my own message but it’s so true ;)

    • Continued
      The place between the mind and heart will lie answers you seek (go within). We are all an island until you drain the water and see we are all connected. Stay true to yourself. Know and live your passion/purpose.

  9. I LOVE YOU, and you are so loved! You are beautiful and always and already good enough, precious and great. Love yourself now, be happy now, instead of waiting for your own or someone else’s permission, or for that thing that has to happen first… do it now! Be grateful, be light and love and joy and peace, and please… forgive. Yourself and others, too. Enjoy the small things, see blessings everywhere (because they are) and remember: you are blessed, and you are a blessing! Laugh often, take walks more often and twirl around, be silly and just breathe. Dream big, and then take small steps to make your dreams a reality. Take good care of yourself! Live well, love well, eat well and think well. Don’t believe everything you think. Be your own cheerleader. Shine your light, honey, you have so much to give and to contribute. You are worthy, and just being your glorious self is amazingly awesome and good enough! You go girl, whoohoo! I love you! Xxxx

    I could go on… :-)

    • Like please, speak to a safe and trusted person about what’s happening in your life, it will help, and it will save you so much pain and hurt later on! Sharing your troubles is good. Period. So share! No matter what the doctors say, trust your gut (and heal it, it needs that), you are NOT crazy and you can be healed. For every negative thought you think about yourself or something or someone else, think five positive ones. Focus on what you want and like, and keep doing it! Every time you get up from a couch, bed, or chair, find something to be grateful for – in down times yay, plumming! is always useful – your life will change. Keep living, you will get through the bad stuff, and please… you can always ask for help. Make friends. Life is better with friends. They can be the family you crave for.

      • Kate said on July 9, 2014

        Yes Judith, no matter what the doctors say, trust your gut. You can be healed. I lived through a devastatingly painful and incapacitating auto immune disease that I was told had no cure 17 years ago. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t work, drive or sleep. Until I decided one day that I was done. I did what the doctors said couldn’t be done. I no longer am sick. I no longer live in pain. I am healthy again and I have my life back. I wish the same for you Judith.

        • Thanks Kate, that’s really sweet! I’m so happy you got your life back, and it inspires me to keep going, turtle-style. Here’s to healing and miracles!

  10. Lisa said on July 8, 2014

    Don’t be so afraid to try things or to speak up.
    Mom and Dad are doing the best they know how.

  11. When you are faced with a challenge,
    look fear in the face and DIVE IN!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Don’t listen to them. They’re wrong. You are beautiful and smart and your life will be so much better than you can imagine. You will be loved. You will have lifelong friends. You will be happy.

  13. * Is it possible to have you make this collage into a pdf file for download? I LOVE it and would love to be able to print it off in its entirety. :)

  14. This is beautiful, kris! Thank you. I would tell myself – you’re doing great, beautiful. Don’t let anyone else convince you that you aren’t smart enough, beautiful enough, or just enough. Oh and eat your veggies. It will change your life.

  15. Lei said on July 8, 2014

    I’d say you are stronger than you realize. Slow down. Breathe. Look up. Never mind what others think or say about you, it’s your life so live it like you want. Love. When your heart breaks which it will, just breathe, feel all the emotions that surface, and let it go. Hug yourself. Smile and laugh. Surround yourself with people you want to be like. Be kind to everyone especially chikdren, the elderly and our animal friends. When someone cuts you off in traffic or the grocery parking lot or line let them go and bless them. Upon rising each morning say thank you for another day. Upon sleeping say thank you. Exercise in whatever way is fun to you. Share. Enjoy nature. Enjoy your friends and family. This top shall pass. You can’t change anyone, only your self. Letgo of ideals and expectations. Just live. Travel. Celebrate everyday. Surround yourself with what you love. Be your own best friend.

  16. Let go and let God! Believe that every struggle is actually a gift you can learn and grow from, embrace it, cherish and love it. Forgive everyone whoever hurt you or will hurt you, when you hold on to the anger, you lose a little bit of your soul. Step gently on the earth, remain conscious of every living thing around you, turn off the TV, eat more veggies, spend more time daydreaming and don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. LIfe is not a race, it’s a long and winding trail, a beautiful blessing, a time to nourish our spirits, to make the world better and to leave behind a legacy of love and peace and light that will last forever. And most importantly, to thank God and talk to Him everyday, He is real, He is there for all of us.

  17. I would tell her to love herself no matter what, to be her own best friend, to trust her gut instincts and judgment about how to live her life. Stop listening to the nay-sayers and gain confidence in herself. I would also counsel her to take a more relaxed attitude toward life, not to be so serious and intense. Teach her about impermanence and change, and how to be resilient by letting things come and go and not getting so attached to having things go her way, because they won’t.

  18. You’ll come back around to the things that you love at the core of your being, so don’t try to avoid them in the first place. Follow your passions 100% of the time.

    • Kate said on July 9, 2014

      I recently discovered how magical it is to follow my pleasures. De – sire means “Of the Father”. I know that our desires, our passions, our pleasures are placed in our soul for a reason. We are meant to have them.

  19. Love….. Hard to find sometimes, but it sure makes everything feel better.

    Follow it from within than without and you will seldom go wrong in finding it.

  20. Rough days will come, but you will survive them and prosper. Read The Hero with a Thousand Faces to know what to expect. Put your goals out to the universe and accept that they will be delivered. Keep up the meditations, work out who your real friends are and tell them so. Spread love, happiness and humor to all around you.

  21. Not everything has to be the way you were taught. Take the road less traveled. Break the rules. Be ok with not being who you thought you were. Laugh more. Settle less. Just ask, the answer may surprise you.

  22. Jess said on July 8, 2014

    Dear little Jess, let me hug you. I just want to let you know that you are not alone. Don’t be afraid. Be brave.
    What other say about you is not true. You are not others opinion. Their opinion does not define your worth.
    You are perfect just the way you are. You are unique. Believe in yourself. Don’t let anyone get you down. You are not an accident, you are magnificent, you are loved and you are worth it.

    Just breathe, be silly, smile often and be happy. Live in the present. Live life like it’s was your last day. Always be grateful. I love you. I believe in you, little Jess.

  23. You only get one spin on the merry go round of life (and it goes ever so quickly) so don’t waste time on what you think others expect of you. Grab the ring and go forth boldly and confidently, but along the way, reach out, be loving and compassionate and true joy will lift you in moments of doubt. I love you!

  24. Don’t be afraid to show your femininity. If you spend time looking after your skin, hair, nails you will feel more confident about showing yourself off. Don’t sell yourself short – you’re a powerhouse and if you allow yourself to be confident you will achieve so much. Why waste your youth on booze and drugs, it’s not really who you are. You truly want to look after yourself, be a warrior and example for the right way to live life. TRAVEL – this is what you REALLY WANT TO DO!

  25. Wow, this exercise and other’s comments has hit me like a ton of bricks, but here it goes: Lorie, you were born great. You experienced the hardships of life way too young and although you grew up feeling alone, scared and betrayed those experiences have molded you into the wife, mother, nurse and animal rescuer you are today…BELIEVE THAT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE and “just coast” through the bumps in the road. God knows your heart and knows your fears and if you let him drive, he will take you to your destination. Wake up each day and be thankful, ready to find the day’s gifts, toss out the worry and look up at the sky. I love you, I support you, I believe in you. I am here for you. I comfort you. Try hard each day to release and forgive the people and actions that have held you down by simply thinking and saying “forgive and recover”…let that beautiful smile shine and bring joy to others. Your about to embark on new beginnings – ready, set, grow!

  26. I love this idea! It’s so healing… First of all, I’d tell her that she will live the life beyond her wildest dreams.. So there’s nothing to worry about! And a lot more… that I’m just about to write on a piece of paper :)
    Thanks for this awesome suggestion! <3

  27. Don’t focus so much on what you look like on the outside. Your inside is worthy of love. You don’t need to be perfect for others to love you. Sit still and breathe. Trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to work hard for what you want.

  28. Kate said on July 9, 2014

    Kate, follow your pleasures and let go and let God. That’s all you need to do. Now go to it.

  29. It’s OK to shine!

  30. Don’t follow your peers and do reckless things to fit in, tell you mum you need more support and guidance. Spend much more time with your grandmother.

  31. Hi buddy … I’ve missed you! I wish this big bear hug could let you realize how much you’re loved, and that you matter! You’re going places my friend, but you’ll get there faster and with less suffering, if you’ll just remember that you belong, wherever you go, and you’re always worthy … Never believe that you’re less-than! Enjoy all of the miracles and serendipity along the way, and I can’t wait for you to meet me – a better version of now because of you … I love you to pieces!

  32. Oma said on July 9, 2014

    Thanks Kris,
    Enjoyed reading the comments, I didn’t write anything, as I am 82 years young,
    didn’t have any advice to give my younger self. I just try to do the best I can, and
    pray everything I do will turn out alright.
    You are such an inspiration to all of us. I enjoy reading everything you write. You
    are a very special person. XO XO

  33. Toni said on July 9, 2014

    You have a lot to offer, don’t let others define you. Be positive, love yourself! Your are more than you think you are.

  34. Beautiful post Kris. :) You’re a beautiful human being, and a true gift to this world. Thank you for all you do!!

    Warmly,
    Tim

  35. Anna said on July 9, 2014

    Here is what I would say to my younger self:
    You are smarter than you know. Screw those tests. You will always be learning – never stop learning. You will never be more beautiful than you are today (read this line every day for the rest of your life). Enjoy the make-up, but you don’t need it. You are thin enough – don’t shrink yourself for anyone. Believe in Yourself. No one is coming to rescue you. It’s up to you to create whatever life you want. You can and you will. You are already loved more than you could ever imagine.

  36. Kim said on July 9, 2014

    Kim, people are going to try very hard to change you, to break your spirit. You follow your own drum & the people around you were raised to follow the norm. They don’t mean to harm you. They just don’t understand that you don’t need to fit in to be happy. Never ever stop believing in yourself. You are incredibly beautiful just the way you are. God loves you & is always with you! You are special. Express your individuallity & as you get older you’re going to help many people believe in themselves.

  37. It’s ok to be single. Don’t let others pressure you into thinking you are only validated as a worthwhile person if you are part of a couple. Don’t settle for ok. Embrace your singleness and use the time to explore the world, try new things and learn who you are. Do what you enjoy and spend time with people who accept you for who you are and the right person will come into your life at the right time.

  38. Hi Dear, are you really visiting this website regularly, if so then you will definitely get good knowledge.

  39. Dearest Abrianne,

    You are pure love and that is all that is real. You can’t change what other people think or say, but regardless, you can know that only love is real and in that, you’ll find peace.

  40. Eva said on July 10, 2014

    You are beautiful the way God created you to be. I know you don’t like your birthmark, but it’s what makes you unique. Don’t feel insecure when people stare and point at you and then whisper. They don’t mean any harm, they just have never seen you before, God’s beautiful creation. It’s okay, you are wonderful, don’t let the negative comments attach itself to you. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are enough.

  41. I love this idea. I would tell myself that it is all going to turn out, trust yourself. I think we could all trust ourselves a little more. Not to regret things from our past but to learn from it and move forward with your fabulous life!

  42. I’d say don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t think you are not smart enough, or good enough, or capable. Don’t listen to others even important role models in life, do not listen. Listen to your very own self, your heart, your own voice. Listen to your own voice. Then don’t worry what others think of your voice. Care about yourself more, less of others who may not even know what you need like you do. Don’t settle. Know you are beautiful, because you are. Don’t let yourself go, in all areas of life. Food doesn’t fix problems. Feed your soul, not your stomach. Finish what you started, do not give up. You are smart and you are strong, and your voice matters. Take good care of yourself. You are important. love you.

  43. These are all so beautiful. I’m gonna book mark this post for when I need a little soul lift. Thank you for sharing everyone. You could all be self-help authors! :) xo

  44. Don’t allow others to impose their fears and limitations on your dreams. Don’t wait til your 30’s to stop caring what other people think. Trust God, because he’s the only one who can guide your path in the right direction. Realize that control doesn’t always mean peace. Love the unlovable, because they are fighting demons you know nothing about. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Forgive others for theirs. Celebrate differences, they make life interesting. Take naps, eventually you’ll need them and won’t be able to!

  45. I started to cry when I thought of what I would tell little Erica, because, I still need to hear it! “You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to try. Don’t be afraid of hurting. Life is going to hurt anyway, so don’t play it safe. Just go for it! Don’t settle. Don’t think you can “fix” someone. Work on you. Don’t forget to have fun – you work so hard, and it’s important. Ma only says you are selfish because she wishes she had the childhood you have – don’t take that to mean that you have to self-sacrifice in order to be loved. That’s not what she wants you to do. Oh, and get some sleep.”

  46. Gina, things will get better! Don’t give up on your dreams. It’s okay to be sensitive and to show emotions. Be a leader, not a follower. Eat your vegetables!! Kisses, kisses, hugs, and more hugs:)

  47. You are not the centre of their attention; they are the centre of yours.

    I would advise my younger self to watch ‘The Art of Being Yourself’ by Caroline McHugh for TEDxTalks (http://youtu.be/veEQQ-N9xWU).

  48. Trust your SELF and do what feels right to YOU, not what you think other people expect or want of you. Oh and one more thing: YOU ARE SO LOVED.

  49. I would say to be patient, not to hold on to things so much and be your own person. You are allowed to have your own opinions and thoughts. Don’t worry, you can’t control everything and sometimes bad things will happen, that’s the way that life works. But know that deep down you are a strong person who will always come out the other side. Don’t be afraid of anything, it will only hold you back. Only keep the best people around you, there’s no time in this world for people who will drag you down. Most importantly, love yourself, even all of the imperfections, and someone will love you too someday for exactly who you are.

  50. Your father abandoning you as a baby speaks volumes about him and nothing about you. Your stepfather’s instilling fear in you and making you feel “less than” is his cross to bear. If he knew better he would do better. You are of value & your feelings matter. You can overcome your brother’s verbal and physical abuse. He will apologize to you once he’s matured. Don’t allow men to take advantage of your desperate need to feel loved. Love yourself…that is enough. Stop criticizing your body. It is beautiful. Don’t put up that shield to protect yourself. It will take years to learn how to put in down and accept love from good people.Your health will take a turn for the worst so appreciate what you can do now and jump in feet first while you still can. Most importantly, repeat this mantra….you are enough just as you are.

  51. Leave the sanity behind — by that, leave the rule book behind. Your allowed to make it up as you go, so do it. Follow your heart, and the rest will come. Oh… remember to breath!

  52. When my mother died I was 16 – I should like to go back and say thank you for her love but life goes on and now its time for me to live and I say to my younger self be strong, be persistent and follow my dreams.

  53. Rachel, you will heal in this lifetime and when you do, your story will help many other people to walk down their healing paths as well.