5 Tips to Make Changes That Stick


Hi Precious Pals,

Happy (nearly) New Year! Tonight, I’ll be tooting my party horn and tossing virtual confetti towards the heavens. This is going to be a grrreat year for us both. I can feel it my bones.

More than anything, tomorrow serves as a symbol — of expansive new beginnings.

In the past, I’ve lunged upon New Year’s Day, beating it over the head with a bat and broom. (We all know how this story ends.) Not this year! As I said a few weeks ago, I’m focusing on how I want to feel in 2013 (thank you, Danielle LaPorte!) and setting intentions from that holy, sacred space. I hope you will too.

In the spirit of shifting toward a life that feels deliciously good, whole and passionate, I called in my friend and miracle maven, Gabrielle Bernstein. For those of you who don’t know Gabby, she’s a shining motivational speaker, author and the leader of the Spirit Junkie nation. Tomorrow, her brand spankin’ new book, May Cause Miracles, hits shelves.

Earlier this month, Gabby and I sat around my kitchen island to chat about the ins and outs of change. I hope our conversation infuses your 2013 intentions with the confidence you need to forge ahead feeling more empowered and at peace. Use our tips to create a kinder, simpler, happier new year.

Kris Carr Gabby Bernstein

Here’s a peek at what you’ll learn …

  • How to make changes that stick.
  • The simple practice that has helped Gabby make small and life-altering shifts over the years. It takes less than a minute each day!
  • The major stumbling blocks that are standing between you & transformational change and how to begin knocking them down.
  • My approach to change in 2013 (I’ve never made resolutions like this before!)
  • A fresh, new way to embrace forgiveness and release the negative thinking that’s holding you back.
  • Unicorns can talk!

Your turn: What’s the one thing you will transform in 2013?

Once again, Happy New Year! I hope you have the best year ever, and I just adore you to your core. xo :)

Peace & simple, powerful shifts,

Your biggest fan,

Kris Carr

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67 responses to 5 Tips to Make Changes That Stick
  1. I’m willing to let go of auto-pilot! By this I mean the tune-out, cruise control mode of coasting through the day reacting as if I wasn’t really present – just letting things happen without REALLY thinking and BEING involved. I’m willing to let go of check-out and substitute check-in.

  2. Hi! Gosh I loved the vlog. I’ve been able to give up candy, the biggest weakness I’ve had, in 2012. I’ve been without it for almost three months now. For 2013 I’m willing to change the way I spend my money. Before it’s been about spending according to how I feel, On rainy days I spend a lot… I’m now willing to give that up and start spending according to what I truly need.

    P.s. Just ordered Gabrielle’s new book!!

  3. I love the video and plan to check out the book. My life feels totally upside down right now so major change is needed. I’m not sure where to begin. I need to let go of the past in order to move forward so I guess my goal for the new year is to let go and don’t don’t look back. Take that step forward, and begin my journey.

  4. That was awesome!!!! LOVE you guys. Love all your videos/vlogs! Thanks… now so ready for 2013! K, Keep up the Chat & Chew, “Don’t stop it!” (my own ‘B Me’ quote), b/c I LOVE IT! You both have a blessed 2013… how could you not? Belinda, ‘B Me’

  5. I am willing to take myself out of the picture and try to understand other people’s motives and feelings. Stop making it all about me, because most of the time it’s not about me at all. I am willing to practice consideration of others’ feelings.

    On another note I aim to support myself and my partner as we take the next step to healthy living. We watched Hungry for Change together last night (for the third time) and we renewed our vows to follow the teachings of that film.

  6. Hello all! I am willing to give up wheat and dairy.

  7. Kris,
    You are authentic (and hilarious) and driven to help people evolve into more powerful, loving versions of themselves. We’re in this together and I’m so happy to have stumbled upon your plethora of happy “tools” for my toolbox. We ALL have our personal battles but I’m willing to look mine in the eye and (with a smile) surpass them. Glad to have you on my virtual team :)
    Happy New Year! I hope it is as radiant as you are!

  8. Thank you Kris and Gabby. I really loved what you said about forgiveness. 3 years ago I sufferred a huge loss including a divorce after 35 years. At that time I did not feel I could ever forgive my ex husband. Now 3 years later and much work on myself I have forgiven him. REALLY and TRULY! I can see how energy does shift which inspires me even more to do deeper work on myself and forgive myself for what I am holding against myself and embrace my humanness. I am doing the best I can, I was doing the best I could at the time and you know what so is everyone else. So for 2013 I am willing to embrace my humanness and love myself as I am “warts” and all. Happy New Year to all. This is going to be a great year for us all.

  9. I am willing to dedicate more time to my exercise routine verses skating by. I am also willing to take more responsibility for my health and the issues regarding my health (hypothyroidism). I will live in the moment instead of skating by on ice.

  10. 2013 will be the year I stop giving up on myself. I’m a positive energetic person, but I have a tendency to just let things fall apart because they are too hard. The truth is they are not, I just don’t try.
    Pictures of the kids every month, sticking to my incredibly easy workout routine and getting out of the house and having adventures…even if it’s all by myself!!

  11. Thanks so much ladies! I am willing to give up pleasing other people above myself! I only have one life, one body and one heart and i am willing to tressure and take care of myself!

  12. Yes, to give up again…..hmmmm why not gain? Instead of dropping the bad focus on doing the good and in turn the bad just fades away. By focusing on giving up don’t you feel that your losing something? Why not focus on gaining something? Let’s say that you know that drinking to much coffee is not doing your body/mind any good so you need to do something different…don’t drink the coffee. By focusing on not drinking any coffee puts you in a negative by focusing on drinking something else like herabl tea or more water will put your mind set in a positive. So don’t focus on giving it up focus on the gain.

    • Hey I like that. Gaining something. We are always told to say things in the positive light. So I agree giving up is negative , but gaining is positive. One of my ‘gaining’ things is to be in the moment, be present

  13. Kris, love your spirit and sweet honesty. Thanks for this video.

  14. I am willing to give up my daily mantra that I don’t have time to exercise. I am committed to finding a fun gym class or dance class. Exercise is key for my well being and everyone’s well being.
    I love your work Kris and I am buying your book Gabby.
    Have an amazing 2013!

  15. I am going to give up all animal products for 2013. I’ve been eating mostly plant based foods for 15 years now, and find going Vegan very daunting. I bought “Crazy Sexy Kitchen” last Saturday (yeeaahhhh)….and am committing to going Vegan every 2nd month, vegetarian every other month. I know my personality….easy does it….one step at a time, and then success usually follows. I am so curious to see how my body and health will respond by the end of the year and am hoping to be Vegan full time by then. I also commit to actively donating my time and money to Animal Rights this year, to full out my resolve to do and be better. Cheers everyone!

    • Hi Sabine
      I just wanted to say I am more awake to the rights of animals than I’ve ever been. I know I’ve just started my own journey with my relationship and my life’s purpose with animals. I’m not certain how that will manifest exactly but I have experienced a couple unbelievable miracles divinely directed by animals that have crossed my path.

      I believe when we finally recognize the divinity in animals we will see the shift that we will all need to feel in this world. So thank you for doing your part already! You are many steps ahead but I have already cut back on meat in my diet and only buy organic farm raised and although I am experiencing judgment from others I am determined to at the very least to commit to ending factory farming. I think that is the first step for the world to eradicate that level of cruelty. What were we thinking!! I will be working on forgiveness for taking this long to wake up!!

  16. Congrats to both you girls. I have been following you both for quite some time now! You have both accomplished so much over te past year, come so far, and changed and inspired change in so many. Many thank yous hugs and kisses. Lots of love :) stoked about the new book (go gabby!)

  17. Love the chats in your kitchen Kris! Thank you so much for showering us with your gifts and insights.

    Wishing you a glorious 2013!

  18. I don’t go on FB or twitter….. just email. Is there any way to enter to win a juicer without being technologically on board? Thanks, Rosanne

  19. There are things that I want very much to change, but my struggle each morning is with the willingness. I hope to focus on that in 2013. I might just have to pick up a copy of Gabby’s book tomorrow!

  20. I REALLY want to stop eating animal products. I have tried before and have not succeeded. I tried again this month and fell into old patterns..but I realized I wasn’t completely surrendering. The part of taking one moment and one day at a time resonated really strongly.

  21. Thanks so much, ladies! I absolutely loved hearing this and really needed to too! I am willing to “hold onto myself” in the face of anxiety and change. I have come to realize that the best and ONLY way to have a lasting, loving relationship with myself and others is to know who I am and consistently choose to be that person, no matter how uncomfortable it may be in the moment. I know that it will take deepening my self-compassion, integrity, humility and a willingness to “deal with my own shit and keep my side of the street clean”… but I know that with the love and support of my HP (most of all!) and of MYSEFL that I can totally rock this in 2013. Oh, and perfection is not necessary for success :)

    Blessings in 2013!!

  22. I am willing to let go of my resentment about my last relationship. I have been feeling toxic with hurt, anger & resentment for the last 2 months ( and have been self medicating with sugar!!!) and I am sick & tired of feeling this way.
    PLEASE pray for me!

  23. I’m willing to let go of my anger and to continue my path towards a better health and spiritual life. Thanks a lot to both of you for the inspiration I find in your books and videos.

  24. Great vlog and some really powerful insights here- thanks so much for sharing. Kris- I love it when you say that you write for yourself and it just so happens (thankfully) that other people want to read it! That really resonated with me, and I feel it’s one of the most powerful ways to write because there it oozes intimacy and authenticity.

    For me one of the most important is the focus on living totally in the present, moment by moment. One of the challenges we face as ambitious women is that we can easily become consumed by that ambition- our natural inner ‘default mode’ becomes our ‘future’ (which is just an illusion!) Our bodies may be present, but really we’re in what I call ‘Tomorrow Town” !

    This is the problem of rigid, over-zealous ‘goal setting’. What’s the point of getting to where we want to be, if we’ve not truly lived and enjoyed the journey? What is more- the power that comes with being present is what will help us get to where we want to be be with ease and grace. I explore this more in my blog post here: http://www.thecareerstylist.com/inspired-living/why-setting-goals-can-be-dangerous-what-to-do-instead

    I hope you enjoy it and a big happy new year to you- looking forward to seeing what 2013 has in store for both you and gabby XX

  25. Thank you so much for sharing. This is exactly what I need. I think it’s good for us to realize that our goals the we set don’t have to be made over night because that’s when we end up failing ourselves. Subtle sounds more do able. Happy New Year! Hugs!

  26. Gabrielle Bernstein I just bought your book! I saw you speak in San Jose last year, and you were awesome!

    I plan on continuing to transform my cooking skills. I seriously sucked in the kitchen, but I am slowly conquering that fear and learning to cook. Since I have been cooking, blogging and photographing my food from CSK I have found JUST cooking is not so hard!

    Look forward to reading your book. Happy New Year!

  27. Thanks Kris and Gaby! What a great 10-minute short– Can’t wait to pick up the book. My friend and I wrote something similar last year that we’re still working on, called “Manifestival.” I love what you say about timing and willingness when it comes to your goals–and also about present-moment. In 2013 I am willing to give up my negative feelings about my body. In learning to admire, love, and be grateful for my body the way it is, I know that the body will respond by moving toward its full potential. Thanks for the inspiration!

  28. I will admit, I’ve been a peripheral fan for a few years. But a fan none the less, i have given Crazy Sexy Diet to 4 friends as books they have to have because it changed they way I think and eat. I know you believe everyone’s journey happens in their own time. My journey with you started out of fear (like many I am sure). You’ve taught me so much about what i could/should eat to be well (I don’t always do what I should, but I try…and I teach my kids too).
    My 2013 journey is turning more inward and I really resonated with your conversation with Gabby. I am truly looking at 2013 as a journey. I am going take what I need from 2012 to make the most of it, but the rest is the past, and that is where it shall stay. I have always been afraid to let go of the past, I have so many important people that are only in my past, I was afraid if I let go I would be letting them go forever, people I really love. For the first time I feel strong enough to bring only what I want and need with me, and let the rest go. It’s been really hard to fly straight with all that other stuff, exhausting really.

    So here we go, off into the wild, blue 2013!! Here’s to getting to know you better, I think I am ready!



  29. LOVED hearing the TRUTH… “You have to REALLY WANT IT!” I have not really WANTED to commit to losing 40 pounds, but I am willing to drink at least 32 oz of water every day. That feels DO-able and I am inspired to create ways to stick with this small change NOW!

  30. I’m willing to let go of resolutions!
    Cause they don’t work! However…
    I am willing to let my core desires (thanks Danielle + Abraham Hicks) to be the driving force of my life so that whatever I am inspired to do comes from my wise inner Goddess. And from this place of feeling amazing + deliberate delicious conscious creating, the manifestations & miracles will come pouring in.

  31. Admire both of you truly lovely people! I am willing to give up always living in the future (ie:when I’m 10 lbs lighter) and instead learning to enjoy the journey along the way. Thanks for all the inspiration!

  32. Thanks for the VLOG…I felt like I was right there having a cup of tea with you both. Kris…I have to give you my deepest thanks for creating a better world for the rest of us…and specifically the animals we share our lives with. I started a month ago to only buy organic farm raised animals whether it is in grocery stores or restaurants. I have added more vegetarian meals to my diet and I decrease the amount of meat in the meals I prepare at home (my husband hasn’t even noticed yet…yay). My motto is if you are going to take a life you give a life. At the very least, allow animals the right to be animals…let them love each other freely, experience nature, allow them to “be” who they are and live their full expression. No less than you would expect for yourself. My change for 2013 is to eat one meat dish a day (it used to be all three) and to spread the word to diehard meat eaters to make healthier and more compassionate choices. Who knows maybe 2014 my mind, body, spirit will not allow the flesh of an animal anymore. I will know and feel it if that is the truth for me and I will honour that.

  33. I sense flavors of A Course in Miracles in Gabby’s book….always a good thing.
    Transforming my Yoga practice into a daily practice will help all other areas of my life fall into place.
    Happy New Year!

  34. I am willing to start each day with a prayer to give me the grace to forgive, the humbleness to have patience and to love my family.

  35. Hello beautiful ladies, thank you for sharing this video. Something I am ready to transform in 2013 is the need to have all the answers. The need to, “figure out my life” and to step into trusting that life is already “figured out” for me, and that all will work out for my highest good and the highest good of others as well. Namaste ya’ll :)

  36. LOVED the 10 minute video with the inspirational Duo! Thanks… OK, I am more than willing to cease and desist with all of the explanations of why have stress and struggles — the $$, the over-working and under-sleeping, etc. The more I speak about all of the above (and more…) the more I fan the fear flames. So I commit to getting my daily dose of Struggle-Be-Gone! Kris, I have all of your books. I read them, give them as gifts and I loooooove them. And Gabrielle, I just excitedly pre-ordered “May Cause Miracles.” So for every strugglish word than sneaks out of my (unconscious) mouth, I will consciously speak double about my blessings and miracles! My cat, Diego, just sat on the keyboard — a definitive show of support :) One more thing: I am willing to exercise BEFORE I start answering emails… no more 45 minute workouts turning into 20 minute rushy ones. Happiest, healthiest 2013 to you!! Much gratitude and love…

  37. I am willing to let go of comparing myself to those around me, especially those who have more perceived success than I do at this time. I’m willing to let go of jealousy, competition, and the feeling that I am not good enough.

    Loved this video!
    Thanks so much :)

    xo Beth

  38. God I love you Kris. You never fail to inspire me and make my heart feel happy… My life changed when I read CSD. I turned to it for help with losing weight and I’ve lost 36kg (80pounds) in 12 months without it feeling hard. Thank you for continuing to be so divinely inspiring you gorgeous thing!! Mwah. Xxxxx

  39. The two of you at the same table would be my dream girl date. In 2013 I’m going to practice forgiving myself, and be nicer to myself. I have taken the “tiny mad idea” and manifested it against myself for too long. My goal is to enjoy the journey every step, be it good or bad, and not be so focused on the outcome. You are both such great mentors, and I’m thankful every day for the path that brought me to you both. God bless you and blessings for an awesome 2013.

  40. I am willing to let go and trust in 2013. I am willing to do this patiently, slowly and kindly. Thanks for another great blog. Happy New Year

  41. I’ve been talking, thinking, wishing and hoping to do a photography boot camp. Today I decided to say “yes”. I got the last of the 25 spaces and I’m IN!!

  42. I just love you both!! Thank you for this wonderful message… So inspiring!

  43. Hi Kris, Hi Gabby!!! 2 of my favorite people!! So in 2013 I am ready to let go of and transform……..
    ~negative self-talk
    ~focusing on things that don’t serve me, or apply to the greater good.

    I feel lighter already :-) Thanks for this great video!!! Oh and I’m ready to let go of a few pound too! I mean ACTUALLY doing it..not just wanting it.

    • Oh and I can’t wait for your new book Gabby! I pre-ordered it last month and participated in your group class :-)

  44. One thing I’m willing to let go of in 2013 is trying not to be such a control freak. I try to have everything planned to a T which adds more stress to situations at times. So working on having my goals but not trying to control things that in which I cannot change.

  45. Happy New Year sweet wonderful readers! I love you so so so much. Blessings for 2013. xo kris

  46. Kris and Gabby,

    Thanks so much for this. I love the simplicity as I know from experience and from working with clients that implementing change is one of the hardest things to do.

    In 2013, I am really working on Giving (without expectation). This is something that has always been very hard for me, but I’m realizing that it is an important part of feeling more authentic, connected and passionate. I looking forward to inviting more giving-ness into my life.

  47. I give up the need to be a control freak, because in the end I am not in control of everything. None of us are and that is a good thing :)

  48. Am I willing to forgive? Not sure I’m quite there – but I’m willing to be willing to forgive, and that’s a start. Thank you for this.

  49. I am the willingness to let go of the fear that I won’t be loved if I express myself fully as a musical artist. Thank u beautiful ladies for the enlightening video and total truth of light and love:)

  50. In 2013 I am willing to let go of resentment. I am willing to let go of the feeling that I need to bottle up everything inside me. I am willing to let go of feeling like I’m the only one who can steer the ship – it’s okay to ask for help both in mundane daily tasks and with the bigger stuff too.

    I am willing to let spirit flow through me and guide my life.

  51. This was one of my favorite vlogs so far. Thanks for sharing. I’m getting the book today as a gift to myself to help me in my ever ongoing quest to live a happier, more present, and more fulfilled life. I’m sticking to the goals and intentions I’ve had for many years, allowing for slow changes over time that stick, but I do have a focus for this coming year and that is consistency. I don’t just mean in fitness or food, but in general, including those, but also including having a routine (any – whether it be morning or evening or both). I’m a change-aholic.

  52. Loved the Vlog! Exactly what I needed to hear today. I am willing to finally take the steps to live the life I want and can easily have, but to my husbands and my own frustration often find excuses to put off. With a little one on the way it is time I stop putting up road blocks and become the person I want to be. It is a big goal, but one with many small steps to work my way there. Thank you for such simple and inspiring motivation.

  53. Thanks for a great vid! You girl are shining!

    I am willing to give up sugar, wheat & dairy. I commit to keep on going with my daily practice of dropping out of my mind and into my body (yoga, dancing, shaking, singing, meditation – different stuff on different days).

    I commit to keep on living a life of service, where I prioritize aliveness (less computer, more dance), focus on my greatness (instead of trying to fix my weaknesses) and live in embodiment of love.


  54. You are so incredibly inspirational! I started juicing and will start the 21 day cleanse on Monday! Thank you for all of your amazing Crazy, Sexy, books.

  55. The universe seems to be pointing in the same direction, isn’t that amazing! I have worked my way through Our Lady of Weight Loss – starting 2013 thinner – program, and the thing that really stuck with me is the need for tiny changes. I, too, Kris tend to plan sweeping changes and crash and burn. What I’ve learned is that the Amygdala (fight or flight) part of our brains freaks out when we do that, so we need to tip toe past the Amygdala by making one small change at a time. The suggestion she had is to eat an apple before every meal to fill you up. I’ve committed (and have followed through) to eat at least one apple a day, often two apples a day – you have no idea what an improvement this is for me. The second thing I have done is invested in a Nike+Fuel band, which tracks all of my steps, and have committed to 10,000 steps a day. Most days I’ve been surpassing 11,000 steps and a few days have hit 13,000-14,000 steps. I’m going to keep with these two small changes and see how they shake out over the long run. Then I can add another small change to the mix. Small changes, carried out. Tip toeing past the part of our brains that wants to run from the room screaming like a banshee.

  56. I am willing to give up eating while standing up. I will be seated for every meal & snack and make a commitment to eat mindful, slowly, & fully enjoy my food and allow it to nourish me completely.

  57. Great video! My intention is to wake up early daily. So I can take the time to meditate and properly prepare for my day. I have to be mindful of my excuses and rationalizations! I’ve also learned from my experience that I think about something for awhile..and then I move into preparation/action! Thanks for your generosity!

  58. Thank you. You are such an emanating light and so vivacious. I feel joy in watching your videos.

  59. Kris, I found your Crazy Sexy Cancer video when it was first released. What amazinspiration. I love how you view thw world. July 11, this year, 2013, I was diagnosed with 20 liver adenomas. Benign tumors which have a tendoncy to turn cancerous. You guessed it. The “T” word. Transplant. For now cancer free but I have no options. It’s a “wait and live”situation. Do I live as though I potential y have cancer? I’m following all of your diet protacol. Kimberly