Truth has been a big theme for me lately, and it seems to be sending me messages everywhere I look. Deep echoes of it in Glennon’s incredible interview a few weeks ago, repeatedly pulling the “Tell the Truth” card from my deck, an unexpected email about truth-telling from by my pal, Gabby—even Netflix suggested a flick for me to watch! “Dishonesty: The truth about life. Why we do it, when we do it and how society suffers from whoppers and little white lies alike”.
Okay, message received!
So, I meditated on why sharing our truth is so important and here’s what came up….
We all want to fit in, be loved and get invited to the party (even when we don’t want to go). We’re communal, pack creatures and we thrive when we feel connected.
At the same time, we crave authenticity and messy realness. We want to honor our uniqueness—to be truly seen and heard—and we look up to people who are brave enough to stand out and use their voices.
Yet when these two desires are in conflict (fitting in vs standing out), we often err on the side of fitting in. So, we start to hide and only share parts of ourselves—acceptable, tidy parts that don’t make waves. Going against the grain, and possibly being rejected, is just too painful.
We may even find ourselves telling little white lies to keep the peace. Teeny-weenie fibbers that don’t ruffle feathers. In fact, these teeny-weenies are so small that we can’t imagine any harm being done. I mean, it’s not like we committed a crime or something.
But, what if it sorta is? Now, I’m not talking about a major felony here—it’s more of an offense against ourselves because all of those teeny-weenies add up.
We say we’re happy when we’re not. We pretend to like something when we don’t. We settle instead of shining. We don’t stick up for ourselves, or others, or animals, or the planet because we’re afraid of the consequences of rocking the boat and so on.
Over time, our little white lies pull us further away from our true selves and our true power. Plus, stuffing our feelings almost always leads to resentment. Yuck.
So, what’s the solution? Unapologetic truth-telling.
Lately, the universe is guiding me to double down on truth-telling. I’m realizing that time is going by quicker than I want it to, and I haven’t had a chance to say things to people I Iove or soak in sunrises I’ve missed.
Plus, our world is in a shit-ton of hurt and it’s making me ache, so now is not the time stay quiet or tell teenie-weenies. Spirit is calling me to be more of who I really am. Bold, full-blooded me. And, the same may hold true for bold, full-blooded you.
If you feel like the universe is dismantling your comfort zone, perhaps it’s a sign that areas of your life are out of alignment with your truth. And, it may not only be dishonesty with others. Maybe the Universe is asking you to stop telling yourself teenie-weenies—“I’m not good enough” and other such bogus nonsense.
I know that’s true for me. In fact, the Universe is being kinda annoying and relentless. If I’m too shy or scared to share my truth, the universe is sharing it for me.
Relationships that don’t serve my soul-growth are drifting apart, business opps that don’t excite me anymore are less lucrative, personal issues I’ve been avoiding are flaring up like spiritual roids. It’s ouchy but liberating—like a reckoning and a resurrection.
Here’s a harmless example: I recently shared something on Instagram that one of my followers called a bunch of things, including “unacceptable”.
“To who?” I thought. Just because I stepped out of the box she put me in, doesn’t mean it’s unacceptable. It’s not that my actions should have been different, it’s that she and I have different views—and that’s OK. If we differ in opinion, I’m up for a constructive conversation. If she can’t tolerate that my opinion is different from hers, that’s not my problem. I refuse to contort myself to please people. It’s a sure fire way to lose myself. Plus, I don’t plan on staying in a designated lane for anyone—and neither should you.
Truth-telling is how we show up for ourselves and become more of who we really are. Proudly tell your truth. Do it with grace and compassion. Be mindful and gentle if you need to be. Remember, you can be a truth-teller without being an asshole.
If your genuine truth causes pain to others, you can say you’re sorry—just not for your truth. You’re sorry because you understand that your truth has consequences, but it’s still valid and it still needs to be heard.
Be willing to be vulnerable. Be willing to make the first move and even look foolish. Your truth requires you to be naked, but that doesn’t mean you’re unsafe. Again, your truth is your power.
Your truth is also courageous. Our culture typically portrays courage as a monumental act of human bravery. But, more often than not, it’s so subtle you can barely identify it. Everyday courage to tell your truth means you make the effort rather than taking the easy way out.
So, the next time you want to shrink and tell a teeny-weenie, try this instead:
1. Ask yourself why you don’t want to be truthful.
2. What’s the emotion that’s driving you to be untruthful (fear, sadness, loneliness, etc.)?
3. Spend time with this emotion. See it for what it really is.
4. Bless it, thank it, let it go.
5. Then, tell your truth.
Each time you catch yourself about to tell a teeny-weenie—stop, drop and kindly share your truth instead.