Happy Valentine’s Day! I was hoping to write something about romantic love or heartbreak today, but I couldn’t decide. Should I re-tell the story of how my biggest heartbreak made space for my greatest love? Nah. Wasn’t feeling it (shout-out to my hubby, Brian, though!)
Perhaps, I’d write about cancer. Today is my cancerversary, after all. Fourteen years living with cancer and still going strong. Nope. Wasn’t feeling that, either. Politics? Hell no. What about how to make a smoothie or take a good poop? Meh. The clock was ticking (we publish every Tuesday) and I was coming up snake eyes.
Well, I could write about a much bigger love—the universal love that’s always available to us. Call it God, Goddess, the Divine, Natural Order, Higher Consciousness—whatever works for you. But to really do that, I’d have to talk about how I’ve been blocking this love and support (when I need it most). Ooh, that’s juicy! Alrighty, here goes…
I’m a fixer, a problem solver, a get-the-job-done type of gal. I like to manifest the crap out of life. I get an idea, gut check it to make sure it feels good and then spring into action, creating a multi-tiered plan to make it happen, captain.
Now, I’m not saying that this is always a bad thing. It’s helped me be successful in many areas. But when my behavior is out of balance, it’s exhausting.
So lately, I’ve been easing up. Less doing. More being. I re-calibrated my goals and focused my energy. I declined speaking opps and social engagements. I even expanded my team, which allows me to delegate more. Yay!
Yet no matter how much I took off my plate, I was still overwhelmed and I didn’t understand why. My conscious, solution-oriented mind was coming up short.
Hmmm. Maybe it was my adrenals? Could Ashwagandha help? Nope, tried it. Jeez, what was wrong with me? Screw strategy! It was time to tap into spirit and ask for help.
So, I prayed on it. I prayed and prayed and in the stillness of meditation, I heard this:
“You’re pushing your way through life, relying on force vs. faith.
You’re depending on your own strength vs. Divine timing.
You’re not alone. There are unseen forces working on your behalf.
So, stop trying to control everything.
Instead, show up for your life and the people in it with love. The Universe will do the rest.”
Now, that’s what I call a big medicine message from spirit!
In essence, my spirit was telling me to surrender my need for certainty. For control freaks like me, that’s a hard pill to swallow. Control can feel so good when we have it. It’s orderly and cozy. Our ducks are in a row and stuff is buttoned up. But, is it really? In my case, control was masking anxiety. Drive was disguising fear.
Life doesn’t always want to be tucked in like that. We’re human beings, not human doings. So when we’re overly obsessed with controlling outcomes, it’s a sign that we’re out of alignment with both our inner guidance and our connection with the Divine.
Constantly plotting, planning and trying to figure things out on my own wasn’t working. My schedule wasn’t exhausting—my mind was! If this sounds like you, the following solutions may help.
How to move from force to faith.
Start by quieting your mind and connecting with spirit. As your thoughts and breath settle, ask for Divine assistance. You may say something like, “Please help me arrange this situation, I can’t figure it out on my own and I need your help.” Then, let go.
Each time a fearful, controlling thought pops up, replace it with a loving, confident thought. Rinse and repeat. Daily, hourly—whenever you need.
Remember that love is patient. Love is trusting. Love is unshakable—even in a shaky world. When we’re aligned with love, we’re aligned with the Divine and with the natural rhythms of life. We create from a place of sacred synchronicity rather than scarcity.
We believe that what’s right for our highest good is being coordinated on our behalf. Therefore, we don’t always have to strategize, force outcomes or figure everything out. Instead, we can do our part and then relax.
Again, this doesn’t mean we passively float through life letting everything happen to us. It means that we find a balance of action and allowing. Sometimes, it’s enough to just hang out with the vision we want to create for a while. We don’t have to jump on it right away. We can sip it like a fine wine. Swish it around and allow the flavors to reveal themselves.
Case in point: Have you ever worked your butt off to reach a goal but for whatever reason, it didn’t happen? Maybe you wanted this goal so badly that it was kinda hard to bounce back after it didn’t work out. Perhaps not getting what you wanted, what you worked so hard for, made you sink into a depression and even doubt your abilities.
Then, out of the blue, months or years later, the unmet desire suddenly happens. You didn’t do a darn thing, it just showed up. Why is that? Because the seed you planted blossomed while you were doing other stuff. Basically, the universe worked on it’s timeline, not yours.
Or maybe, what you wanted showed up in a different, more wonderful way than you actually imagined. Maybe your vision was smaller than what the Universe had in store for you!
You will be led to exactly where you need to be—to the right people, doctors, business opportunities, romantic relationship and decisions. “Life loves you”, as Louise Hay would say. It’s on your side. It wants you to be unapologetically you. But, life also needs you to have faith in the unfolding.
I hope this topic resonates. If so, are there outcomes that you’re forcing? Can you try to apply a little faith and trust to the situation? Understanding that your muscle pales in comparison to the power of the Universe.
Peace & prayer,
Get a free Self-Love Reboot meditation from me here. xo!