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6 Ways to Transform a Bad Experience

July 17, 2012
By Guest Blogger
|21Comments|


Think about a small flame on a birthday candle doing its absolute best to light up and glow.

In the bright of day, its flame is lost. Against the backdrop of the sun or a glaring light bulb, it almost becomes insignificant.

So what do you do to maximize its effect? You create darkness by turning off the lights, and you carry the cake into the room for the excited birthday boy or girl.

Because that’s how the flame glows its brightest. That’s how you notice the contrast.

So just as the light of a candle shines brightest in the darkest places, the light of your soul and your strength glows brightest in the darkest of circumstances.

If you allow it.

Do you curse the darkness? Do you curse your circumstances? Your childhood? Your parents? Money? The government? Life?

Most of us do. It’s a condition — one not found in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. We may even take prescribed drugs such as anti-depressants and anti-anxiolytics for it. It’s called the “poor me” syndrome.

And it’s keeping you poor, my love. Poor and missing out on the spectacular, priceless riches your life offers you right now.

Yes, right this instant. And, no, I’m not crazy. So listen up.

What do you really control in this life? Not much, right? Yet you probably spend much time trying to control circumstances, people, and even the bigger picture.

Delusions of grandeur? No, I don’t think so. Your behavior is just fear-based. You don’t want to get hurt, rejected, left in the dark … and that’s understandable. But I ask you to indulge me for a moment — although if you’re reading this, you already have — thank you!

You do control your responses. You do control your reactions. You do control your perspective. And while that comes with huge responsibility, it also comes with enormous freedom.

Freedom from victimhood. Freedom from destructive relationships. Freedom from self-sabotaging behaviors. Freedom from devastating food choices. Freedom from the chains you have incarcerated yourself in.

When you recognize this, darkness becomes the gift. Hell on Earth becomes the opportunity for your shift to happiness and wholeness on the most monumental level.

Think about a kaleidoscope. Do you remember the enchanting experience when, as a child, you first saw those pretty colors and patterns shifting, dancing magically? What had changed? All the pieces inside were the same. Nothing had been added or removed. Nobody else had stepped in to recreate your vision.

It was you. You turned the dial. You altered your position. You shifted your perspective, my love.

That’s your power; that’s your golden key.

Bad days and shocking life events are real. But what they do to you is a matter of choice. A matter of your perspective. Because nobody and nothing does anything to you on the inside. You, me … we do that to ourselves.

If I offered you a fresh, clean $50 bill right now, would you accept my gift?

If I threw it on the ground and stomped on it, crumpled it up or even spat on it, would you take it?

The inherent value of that money never altered. No matter who or what in life seems to have trampled or cursed you, your intrinsic value has never, ever changed either. And beautiful one, it absolutely never will.

Nobody can do that to you. Only you can choose to buy into that. Only you can give away your power and your worth.
So what is a bad experience?

It’s nothing more than the decision to not see a good experience.

A fantastic experience, in fact.

The opportunity for you to shine your light on the entire world. The opportunity for you to dig deep into your treasure chest of gifts, strengths, courage and beauty and bring all of that forth to embrace the reward that life is offering you.

The opportunity to rise to wholeness. To be your best you.

Because honestly, when the sun is shining, when life is music and laughter, you don’t notice or express all those gigantic talents buried within you. Just like that little candle on the cake.

Darkness and difficult circumstances offer you the opportunity to radiate and illuminate all who you are.

And my darling, that all-who -you-are person is spectacular.

So …

· Welcome that next bad experience.
· Shift your perspective.
· Shine out your strengths.
· Find the treasure being offered.
· Embrace the opportunity for growth and wholeness.
· Bless it.

And bless you!

Kerri Baruch is a soulful, savvy woman living out the path of her purpose and dreams every day. Suddenly widowed at 27 with two toddlers, Kerri decided to find life’s gifts, do the healing and embrace her Journey with love. Officially, she is a Holistic Life and Nutrition Coach but what it really boils down to is that she inspires and empowers women throughout the world to ditch their Inner Critic and self-limiting beliefs.

Photo credit: Jake Bellucci



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21 responses to 6 Ways to Transform a Bad Experience
  1. Thank you so much, Kerri, for your wisdom and beauty. I’ve spent so much time cursing my childhood that I’ve wasted the other precious moments in this life. It’s time to shift my experience. Thank you.

  2. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the timing of your article. Having one of those morning where I wake up, ready to beat myself up, and attack every flaw I can find. Really hating on myself, and here you are, with a lovely reminder that the world is bigger than the little box I tend to put myself in… That love is there if I choose to see it, and today, you helped me choose. Thank you, and thank you for addressing your readers with such beautiful terms of endearment. Some how it feels like that higher power is speaking through you, reminding me that I am loved on a scale I cannot grasp, even when I am incapable of loving myself.
    A very long message with a simple purpose…. thank you. So much.

  3. This is the cutest post that I have read all day! :) Thank you Kerri! x

  4. That article comes just at the right time. Thank you!!

  5. Bless you Shannon! The fact that you can see that and move forward ~ Power to you!!! xxx Kerri

  6. Lindsay ~ my gratitude to you! Our inner critic can be so overwhelming – she seems almost bigger than you. But know this, she isn’t. She is an internalized voice that’s been growing for so long with so much input. YOU are totally whole and gorgeous and good enough… Silencing that voice is so important. Recognizing it for what it is.

    Loving yourself is a process, a Journey ~ but the Most Worthwhile one you will ever take. I hope you take that path. You are worth if.

    From my heart to yours… much, much love x Kerri

  7. Roasted Keyboard, that’s the cutest name I’ve ever seen! My pleasure! Kerri

  8. Elisa, my pleasure… may you always find the gifts and know you are beautiful. Much love, Kerri

  9. Thank you Kerri for this post! I’m going through lots of changes right now with a new job, moving, etc and things have not been going as planned. I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed and second guessing my decision to take a new position and move my family. But, your message gives me the insight to see the setbacks as good changes and shift my perspective. We cannot control everything, just our perspective. I’m going to trust that things will work out in the end.

  10. Excellent article and so true – except for one thing. I tried beyond super human efforts to heal myself of physical pain and depression that had come about from some injuries and big losses. When I finally surrendered and went on anti-depressants, which I had fought tooth and nail, I got a new lease on life. Sometimes when we’re drowning, a life preserver thrown our way is an awesome thing. I won’t stay on these forever, but I’m certainly not drowning anymore. Thanks again.

  11. Ahhh, this spoke to my Soul right now. Thank you so much. It helps to remind me that I do have the power to shift my perspective despite current circumstances right now, circumstances that aren’t exactly my cup of tea. But. I can choose to shine out my light, and use this as an opportunity to see this as a good experience. To redefine what “good” is. So thank you. Namaste.

  12. Kerri, I love the image of the kaleidoscope and the idea that all of the same pieces are still in there, only my perception and perspective has changed. Thank you for that!

  13. Your beautiful soul shines through the words of your article. I am touched by this on a deep level. I suffer from everything you have described and am trying to move on from it. I turned 27 today and your courage will inspire me to create a perspective shift and love the life I have. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

  14. Thank you Kerri! As always, I am grateful that when I need validation the Universe provides it…this time through you and Kris Carr, another beautiful gift from the Universe! I needed a pep talk! I share your philosophy on how to grow, learn, and seek wholeness from a bad experience. My daughter and son-in-law have shut me out of their lifes, hopefully temporarily. Some days are more painful than others, but trusting and not being angry and sending love to the people who created this experience bring me hope and faith for the best possible outcome. I trust that my daughter will learn and become stronger from this situation and it will make her life with her new husband fuller and more honest!

  15. Denise, be in touch and keep me posted! And know that things already are actually working out. I posted a picture not long ago on my facebook page that said, “What screws us up the most is the way we think things are meant to be.”

    When we are able to relinquish attachment to outcome, and trust…. and just be and shine… WOW!
    xxxKerri

  16. Marathongal, I totally agree! I suffered from severe depression in the past and had a fantastic psychiatrist…she used medication to bring me to a place where I could do the healing work, not to make me superficially happy. Without those meds at that time I wouldn’t have been able to contemplate what I wrote in the article… And doing the healing work allows me to be off them today. It doesn’t have to be either or. There is a time and a place in life when we need to compromise and focus on the goal xxxx

  17. Blessings to you Mary – yes :) to redifine what good is. You hold that power ~ and nobody can ever take that away. Namaste xxxx

  18. Beautiful Joan, my pleasure! May you always make magical, magnificent art as you turn the dial on your kaleidascope and create the life you desire. Kerri xxx

  19. Belated Happy Birthday Emmie! 27 was a huge year for me – in many ways the age I was born – out of my slumber of blame and victimhood. My birthday wish for you is that you continue on your path of Truth; seeking out and finding the good, embracing the lessons and releasing and forgiving the past. Much, much love, Kerri xxx

  20. Sandi, much love and many hugs to you. If I were your coach, I would ask you, “What is the gift that these circumstances bring you? What parts of you are being stretched and being cultivated?”

    The love and acceptance you have for your daughter and her decision speaks volumes about you as a human being and as a wonderful Soul. But what is the gift for you? Love and care xxx Kerri

  21. Beautiful and comforting..thank you