KC-with-Pup

The myth of finding your purpose

December 24, 2012|471Comments|


Hi Sweet Friend,

Lately, I’ve been working on being softer towards myself. Kinder. Slower. Why? Because it just feels so darn good, but also because I’m feeling anxious. You might be feeling the same way. Anxiety is fairly common this time of year. There’s lots of pressure to party, socialize, buy and give the right stuff, pressure to map out the perfect new year, and let’s not forget the nagging pressure to finally dump the junk in our collective trunks.

Countless wellness bloggers are writing about solutions for these very timely issues. And while I have my own tips and tricks, we’re not going to chew on those today. This isn’t a blog about strategies or resolutions. It’s about a bigger question that often leads to the ultimate anxiety: How to find your purpose.

Just thinking about “finding your purpose” exercises can literally make folks sweat and pace — especially this time of year when our toes are curled over the diving board of January 1. Like it or not, we’re at a precipice. We’re being called to leap into new beginnings and all that jazz. Perhaps you’re reflecting on the last 365 days and saying “Well, I sure got a lot done, but what’s it all for? What’s my higher calling? How do I stop spinning my wheels and get down to business? And to be even more blunt: What the hell am I supposed to be doing with my life?!”

I struggled with this too, until I finally found my purpose (spoiler alert: or so I thought) with Crazy Sexy Cancer and then Crazy Sexy everything else. At first I felt very strong and proud. My feathers were fluffed. I had finally arrived spiritually. For the rest of my days I wouldn’t have to worry about the burning “what’s my purpose?” question. I used to tell myself, “Well, that’s one good thing that came from cancer …” It seemed pretty clear: My purpose was to help people get healthier and to teach prevention. Pretty rad. A karmic home run.

But here’s the rub. When our purpose is external, we may never find it. If we tie our purpose or meaning to our vocation, goal or an activity, we’re more than likely setting ourselves up for suffering down the line.

Finding your purpose

Your purpose has nothing to do with what you do. There, I said it. Your purpose is about discovering and nurturing who you truly are, to know and love yourself at the deepest level and to guide yourself back home when you lose your way. That’s it. Everything else is your burning passion, your inspired mission, your job, your love-fueled hobby, etc. Those things are powerful and essential, but they’re not your purpose. Your purpose is much bigger than that.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot on a personal level lately. My deeper understanding of purpose feels right in my bones. It diffuses the ache of separateness I experience when my work isn’t appreciated or when my efforts are overlooked or criticized. Sometimes folks will treasure your work, sometimes they won’t. Sometimes you’ll get the gig, sometimes you won’t. You’ll be on the marquee and you’ll be passé. You’ll be thanked and you’ll be taken for granted. You’ll give and you’ll get nothing in return. You’ll be “Liked” and you’ll be unfriended. That’s life. But, so then what? You have no purpose or meaning? Absolutely, positively not. Can you see how tying your worth to that circus will only make you feel depleted, depressed and even resentful? Anchor your purpose within, sweet friend. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself drifting out at sea again and again.

What if your purpose is very different than what you’ve been taught to believe?

  • What if your purpose is to build an everlasting relationship with yourself? To fall deeply in love with precious you? This isn’t self-centered or selfish, it’s self-expansive. Interconnected. Conscious.
  • What if your purpose is to forgive yourself and others? And by doing so, to allow warm waves of compassion to wash over the entire planet (yourself included).
  • What if your purpose is to gently heal all self-injury? And by doing so, to become a mentor and role model for others to do the same.
  • What if your purpose is to release all shame and feelings of unworthiness? Guess what you’ll find behind those feelings? Vulnerability—where your true strength and glory resides.
  • Shall we talk about perfection? Yes, I think we must. What if your purpose is to teach yourself that there is no such thing as perfection and that your never ending pursuit of it is destroying your life and your relationships. Let it go.
  • What if your purpose is to speak kindly to yourself so that you elevate your energy and the world around you?
  • What if your purpose is to develop an everlasting faith in yourself? To remember your holiness and treat yourself accordingly. The deeper your faith gets, the stronger your connection to a higher power.
  • What if your purpose is to take impeccable care of yourself so that you have the energy and joy to serve others?

And lastly …

What if your purpose is to bear witness to your suffering? To acknowledge it and embrace it in order to move through it. “They” say that “suffering is optional.” I’m not so sure about that anymore. I used to think that was true. But that was before I had a deep and layered experience with suffering. Today, I think suffering is essential. The trick is to learn how to move out of suffering once you get the nugget and are ready to apply the lessons. Note: Residue of pain may remain (and that’s OK), but at some point you can fully release the suffering.

What if finding your purpose is about finding and nurturing yourself?

Not an external to-do or accomplishment, even if that to-do or accomplishment is the most important discovery of all time. Because if you are the one destined to find the most important ah-ha of all time, you will probably find it quicker and easier if you feel good, loved and happy. Start there. It’s that simple.

Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t love my job (or you) or that I’m going to quit in anyway. I cherish my work and all of my readers. And it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t start an orphanage or save animals or empower women or teach people how to file taxes. It means that you no longer need to connect your personal self-worth with a plaque on the wall.

Your self-worth has nothing to do with your craft or calling and everything to do with how you treat yourself.

I’ve met brilliant and effective activists who I have gallons of respect for but who are dirty messes inside. Mean messes. Bitter messes. Sad messes. And guess what? Their reach and impact reflects their attitude. Imagine what they could accomplish if they moved from loathing to love, if they knew that no matter how important their mission, their inner purpose matters even more. Folks are like plants, we all lean towards the light.

You are the light. Your inner purpose is to connect with that light. Everything else will follow in time.

If you are struggling with this topic, I hope this blog gives you peace and exhale. The new year can be easier than we think. Happy holidays, and I love you.

Now I’d love to hear from you. What do you think?

Peace & purpose,

Kris Carr



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471 responses to The myth of finding your purpose
  1. Brilliant! Thank you. Love you, too :)

  2. Thank you Love! Thank you <3

  3. You just gave me the best Christmas gift. Your words are timely and powerful. Blessings to you, dear Kris. I love and respect you so much. ~Trish

  4. Thank you so-so much, Kris! This post made me cry…
    Love you :)

    • And when my eyes welled up, I figured I’d be the only one!

      Thanks, Kris. This is an amazing post. I’ve just started following your FB page and blog and I certainly do not regret it! I’ve read two very ah-ha posts (including this one) so far and my wheels are turning in a positive way. Thanks again and Happy New Year to you.

  5. Hey Kris!

    This is beautiful, and I agree wholeheartedly with what you’re saying! Thanks so much for pointing this out. I agree I know we are already spiritually whole and there’s nothing for us to GET in this world..well I know it sometimes ;) But it’s what I’m working on!

    I think the way you wrote your blogpost points out the limitations of language. There’s a lot of play on semantics here..things like there’s no such thing as perfection or suffering is optional…so much confusion with wording! Sometimes we see “everyone is already perfect” (ie, our spiritual selves are and we cannot improve that, but we can improve our actions/performance (which is where no such thing as perfection comes from))..and sometimes we see “suffering is optional” but yet like you said there’s no such thing as no suffering..in this case it’s that we have to “suffer” to experience the joy and beauty in life (ie, we have to have experienced difficult situations to call forth our beauty and mastery) but most of the time with the “suffering is optional” quote, I find the word “suffer” is referring not to events that we don’t prefer, but instead our identification with them. So in one case, suffering is optional (identifying with the event, ie, we brought this upon us or someone is trying to hurt us) but in the other case, if we want to have the same depth of experiences in joy, suffering is absolutely necessary.

    In any case, I just wanted to point out that these beautiful ideas aren’t contradicting each other or wrong; there’s just wordplay going on :)

    Lots of love! Merry Christmas!
    -Catt

    • Catt, I read your comment and just had to reply. I love the points you bring up about semantics and wordplay. You’re right, the way you say things, or just your perspective in general can change the meaning of anything, including suffering. What you wrote really points on the importance of the meaning you give to things. It’s critical to be aware of yourself and of the meaning your attaching to the things in your life. Great comment.

  6. This brought me to tears – of the good variety. I have had a life long (53 years, sigh) struggle with purpose. I have let externals dictate, and it has never EVER occurred to me that I was barking up the wrong tree. Thank you for this amazing piece of insight – I am going to get right on it. And thank you for being such a pure light in the world.
    xo,
    Lisa
    p.s. I am hoping your cookbook is under my Christmas tree!

  7. You are great! i really needed to hear this! please remind Me on new year’s too ;-)

  8. It has taken me 61 years to get around to this way of thinking. Wise words for such a young heart and I wish you well in your quest. There is certainly questionable advise being given by “self help” books and the like, about finding a reason to exist. Keep up the good work Kris.

  9. O M G. Kris you have hit this one out of the park. I knew I had to go deeper inside to find my purpose yet totally missed that *was* it all along. Sometimes we need a friend to point out our blind spots. Now I understand the letdown after doing some of my best work on the outside. Oh my oh my oh my … I am so excited about the possibilities of this realization. Thank you dear Kris.

  10. Wow Kris I love this. I’m sure deep down somewhere hidden beneath my frustration and hopelessness of trying to find my purpose, I may have known what you have just written. But you were able to unearth it for me and I feel connected to it. “Folks are like plants, they lean towards the light” I love that. Thanks for this awesome Christmas present you just dropped in my lap!

  11. Wow! What a beautiful message to wake up to. I’ve been pondering this question for the last several months. What is my purpose? In meditation, to love and nurture yourself is always the whisper I hear. Thank you for this reminder Kris. Your light just shines brighter and brighter!

  12. Just read Dr. Mark Hyman’s blog on suffering in this life yesterday (titled “A Pilgrimage to Bhutan – Making Sense of 2012″), and yours is a perfect compliment to it. …So true about the essentialness of suffering. I appreciated your reminders & perspective on internal purpose. Gave me lots to think about. Thank you!

  13. You hit this one out of the park! You are such an inspiration and a ray of pure sunshine!!

    Thank you for showing me that no matter what I seek to do in the world I must first and foremost, take care of myself. If I want my light to shine for others, the first thing I need to do is turn it on!

  14. I am asking my pre-teen son to read this as a gift for me for Christmas. How important for our youth to feel this way before they enter the soul crushing teen years. Thank you!

    • That is such a fantastic idea! It’d be great for teachers to print out and give to their classes on the first day back after winter break. It’s never too early to start learning what is truly important in life, especially in high school when the pressure is so intense to externally succeed.

  15. Yes, yes, yes! Thank you.

  16. What a sweet soul you are. This touched me so deeply Kris, and resonates with what I’ve been struggling with lately. Spot on! Thank you so much for sharing your insight and bringing a feeling of inner joy to my attitude. Your lovely light is contagious!
    I have a vision of meeting you someday when I go to visit my brother in NY.
    In the meantime, sending you oodles of love and gratitude for your nuggets of insight and inspiration, and warmest wishes for 2013!

  17. Thank you for this beautiful piece of writing! It is food for my soul and I am going to be digesting it for the next several days.

  18. Hi Kris,

    Thank you so much for these great words. I am deeply touched!
    These words remind me of the fact that we enter a time of
    more conciousness and awareness of ourselves. Next to
    that we will become more concious that we are all here to serve
    one another.

    Thanks again, Merry Christmas and all the best for you in 2013!!

    Kind regards,
    Petra

  19. I love this so much I want to swim in it! Thank you Kris I needed this message today.
    Love you too!
    Merry Christmas,
    Tracy

  20. Thank you Kris!!! I def needed to hear this and be reminded of my TRUE purpose! Sending you so much love and light and see you in NYC in February at the I Can Do It Conference!! Merry Christmas!! Xoxo

  21. Thank you Kris! I have been struggling with this very topic, so this was so timely! Thanks a million! Have a wonderful Christmas and a peaceful New Year!

  22. Dear Kris, you opened up a whole new continent to consider with this post. For me, it’s always sitting there to be worked on. I’ve worked a lot on my inner self – through two wonderful therapists, with biofeedback and other forms of body work, and now through a spirituality practice. In all of them, I’ve confronted myself…and I always know I can go deeper. I made a recent commitment to my passion of writing, and all it’s done is to open a whole new can of worms! What did I expect? That I finally had the answer? Well, LOL. It just means more delving inside and then trying to make a career or whatever from that and to still work on my purpose, which is really god’s purpose (or goddess or the Universe or whomever you call on as your higher power). Thank you for saying in your unique and kind and loving way that the work on ourselves never ends – and it’s oh so worth doing.

  23. Kris,
    You have opened my heart and articulated our deep human purpose so beautifully in this blog. Thank you!
    Much love and gratitude to you.
    –Ruthie

  24. Sooo much self-love in there! Game changer, look forward to how this oozes into my heart and mind; it seems somewhere along the l flipped internal to external; now to find the way back to the internal love. Peace and light!

  25. First thing I read upon waking this morning. How cool is your message! Thank you Kris!

  26. Thank you for this thought provok

  27. Thank you for this thought provoking insight. You hit the nail on the head. Now to pass this wisdom on to my teenagers!

  28. You have spoken to my soul and all the layers of me exactly what I desperately need to embrace this year. Many many thanks for sharing!

  29. Thank you for this and all that you do, Kris. There are no accidents. LOVE YOU!

  30. Thank you so much for writing a lovely article.
    The timing of me reading this couldn’t be better.
    <3

  31. Well. After busting my butt all these years getting degrees, advanced degrees, promotions, demotions, layoffs, blah, blah, blah, and still ultimately being miserable – I finally get the truth. I needed to be taking an advanced course on loving myself and radiating that love to those around me. From now on, I’m going to be sitting at the head of the class of my own life.

    Kris, thank you for honoring us with your brilliance. Peace and blessings…

  32. This has got to be your best column EVER! Thank you so much. I am so with you on this one, in every way. Lovelovelove to you! <3

  33. Dear Kris, This is not only one of the best blog posts you’ve written, but one of the best I’ve read, ever. Truer words were never spoken and so completely honest and from the heart. I agree with Paul R.–”Wise words for such a young heart.” It’s taken me 59 years to garner some of this wisdom. It’s beautiful young souls like you that give this planet a chance to survive and thrive. Much love, Barbara

  34. Thank you thank you! Makes so much sense. I am literally here in tears as I read “What if your purpose is to take impeccable care of yourself so that you have the energy and joy to serve others?” I think once i am content with me and my inner, everything else will be done out of love and joy, not what I think is purpose. Bravo!!

  35. Oh, my dear Sweet!

    This is exactly what I have been dealing with myself. Before I can offer assistance or thoughts to others, I have to be rooted in me, finding and feeding my true voice. These are powerful thoughts as I work on me and my hunger for wholeness. xo

  36. That was just what I needed to read this morning. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

  37. Thank you Kris for an enlightening blogpost. You’ve opened a new door in my path to finding my purpose. Brilliant! Much love, gratitude and Merry X-Mas to you!

  38. So beautiful Kris. Absolutely gorgeous writing and thought are in this post. You’re words are so lovely and reach deep in my heart. Thank you for affirming that we are important– on an individual and personal level.
    Over the years it becomes more and more true to me that peace cannot be found externally.
    Your words are touching. Xo

  39. A beautiful post Kris, thanks for sharing. I agree with you on every level. I believe our deepest purpose is to realise our highest power- that we are co-creators rather than random victims of whatever happens on the outside. For me, ultimately it comes back to the notion of freedom. As you say those artists are talented, amazing individuals but if they are bitter and sad on the inside- they are not really free, are they? Free to live openly and expansively and to give the best of themselves. As you say, Love is the way. If we love ourselves, we have more love to give and share- the world becomes a stronger place for it.

    Merry Christmas

    Beth x

  40. Thank you so much Kris! I have been going through what I call my “quarter life crisis”, grasping at the idea of a future career to make me fulfilled and give me purpose.

    This post gave me a fresh perspective :) Awesome.

  41. Whew! I feel so much better now!
    I think knowing this and working from this viewpoint will allow everything else (jobs, money, love) to flow more easily. It’s like the pressure is off!
    Thank you Kris and Happy Holidays!
    All best for 2013,
    Ellen

  42. I love this post! Thank you.. It is a time of awakening and this “purpose” and “passion” question has had me thinking alot! I see so clearly now the difference and its what i new all along. Thank you!!!! It is wonderful to read a post that makes you get “real” with yourself in stead of ways to deal with it. Happy Holidays

  43. Brilliant perspective. Thank you! Why be at the mercy of the inevitable waves? My take away – Be centered in your purpose and let the wave flow past you! Thanks Kris.

  44. Hey Soul Sister,
    I love you! Thanks for that article, it came at the right time and answers so many questions for me. Bless your little heart!
    Love, love, love,
    Debbie

  45. I’m not sure what to think, actually. I was startled by your blog post as well as excited by the thoughts you shared. But you’ve given me plenty to reflect on this Christmas Eve, and that speaks volumes…and I have a feeling I’m going to come back and read and reread this a few times. Thank you for that!

  46. What you said was beautiful and really resonates with me. Thank You~Thank You~Thank You!
    I felt more relaxed just by reading it! Love back!

  47. Thank you, Kris! Talk about serendipity! As an energy healer, I have myself as my front and center healing project. This morning I did an EFT Tapping routine to release all the layers of grief from my body that I carry from my mother – from a loss she suffered before I was born. It came to me that I was no longer required to carry and pass on the family grief. When I finished I felt physically lighter and much, much happier.

    Then I opened my email and there was your message! Thank You! Merry Christmas, Happy “Whew, I Survived the End of the Mayan Calendar and the Winter Solstice,” Happy Hanukkah and here’s to a wonderful and fulfilling 2013! :)

  48. Thank you so much for the article. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on this topic – what is my purpose? Mine (for now) is to provide a platform for inspiring people like you to share their life experiences with others. I’ve come to believe that the sharing of our stories is vital to spiritual growth. Would you be willing to share your story with us here at “Growing Up” on WEBE Radio? It’s pretty simple and painless. We do it over the phone. Terri Cole was with us last week and she shared some deep truths about herself with us. Please consider getting in touch with me. I hope you don’t mind me using the “Reply” angle to connect with you. Please have a very safe and meaningful holiday!

  49. Thanks Kris. This one will be read, again and again.
    Merry Christmas!

  50. Amazing Kris! I love this perspective — we need to all hear, see, and read this more often. SO often we are judged by what our external accomplishments are — it doesn’t always feel right. The other day I was filling out a BIO for a new contract job I working on (my first job after 3 years of being home with my babies), and they wanted me to fill out a BIO for their website, so I could be featured. There was a section to list my accomplishments, awards and accolades. I had nothing official and wowwing to list, but instead I said, “no longer chasing the corner office with a big title and everything else that is big that comes with it, instead, I am blessed to have created a lifestyle, an opportunity, where I am the center of my family 24/7 while fulfilling my personal needs to work and provide for my family and have it all”. Now, that is short version of my experiences in the last 3 years that have changed my life from bring a strung out corporate executive to a ‘stay-at-home-mom’.
    Our American culture puts SO much emphasis on ‘having, doing and being’, it is very difficult to remove oneself from that — it’s constantly in our faces. We have to CHOOSE to ‘have, do and be’ what is true to ourselves every minute, daily.
    Thank you for the reminder of this perspective. It does feel SO good to be softer, kinder, slower — I’ve tried many times and I like it. Trying to make a habit out of it. :)
    May you continue to be blessed in health and safety and for the influence of others. :)

  51. Kris, I love this. It brought tears to my eyes….. you are just so stinking brilliant. Thx for being so generous and sharing your wisdom…… much love to you!!!!
    Carolyn

  52. Thank you Kris! Well said and so much truth in your words! I certainly neede this reminder. Thank you and Happy/Peacefilled Holodays to you!

  53. Thank you for your writings about finding purpose. I cherish the thought of being able to find mine. It is something that I hope will unfold for me.

  54. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you. Sigh. Thank you.

  55. Thank you, Kris! Yesterday I cleaned out a huge portion of 11 years worth of stuff related to volunteering during which time I gave and gave and gave. As I was completing the purge, I wondered if my time, effort, and yes, devotion, had bee misplaced. The work was and still is a very worthy cause. I see now that it was a necessary step on my path: neither misplaced, nor a driving force in my future. Thank YOU for your perspective. It has added a measure of peace so that I can say, “That was then. This is now. I’m wiser for it and the balance my life now requires is NOT misplaced.” My self-care and new found health are worthy priorities. Merry Christmas!

  56. Wow! This was absolutely beautiful kris. And what a wonderful message to share just before the first of the year. Much love to you! Not just for doing what you do, but just for being YOU! :)

  57. Kris, that is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. In fact, I will read it everyday this week and beyond until I own it. Thank you so much, and Merry Christmas! xo

  58. Kris – you’re awesome! Thank you for encouraging us to let ourselves off the hook and to truly and gently listen to our own wisdom. This is a much needed gift!!
    Thanks again!!

  59. The most important part in finding your purpose is overcoming your obstacles. As you continue to overcome them your purpose will become clearer and clearer.

  60. I can’t tell you how much this blog really resonated with me in such a big way, Kris! Thank you for knowing your readers so well and knowing what they need to feel happier in 2013.
    Since I’ve recently retired after teaching for 28 years, I’ve been plagued with feelings of unworthiness because I feel that I’m no longer contributing member of society. Your blog puts a totally new and refreshing spin on things and it’s just what I needed to see myself and my struggles in a new light. As a result I feel more hopeful and optimistic than ever. A big warm hug of a thank you to you!

  61. Love your work, but I must disagree slightly with the notion of finding yourself. I love the quote ” Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself”(not sure who said it) To me that says e have a choice about becoming the person we want to become, creating the person we want to be. That person is not lost-just waiting to e created, like Michaelangelo releasing his creations from their marble blocks.
    As Goethe said-Be Bold and Might Forces will Come to Your Aid
    Keep up the great work-you have helped me so much
    Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

  62. exquisite! thank you

  63. Thank you Kris for spreading this message. This is the exact conversation that I’ve been having with my husband I think all of the messages out there guiding people to find their purpose within their vocation are misleading and lead to more external seeking and potential suffering. This is the message we need to hear, share and embrace and you put it so perfectly unperfect ;-).

    I love your work and appreciate all that you are doing.

    Much love,
    Kate

  64. I have been following you since your work was just a little tiny blog with a handful of followers. You have been a huge inspiration and you have helped me more than you will ever know. I have read all of your books and a million different online musings. This touched me more than anything you have written so far. It is so “right on”. Merry Christmas Kris Carr…..

  65. Beautifully written! So awesome!

  66. Your best post ever! Not only timely for all of us readers, but it is striking to me (and I hope for you) just how much you have grown and deepened right before our eyes. Your work just gets better and better. Wonderful wishes for the holidays and for a spectacular 2013!
    xo

  67. One of the best. I think each of your bullet points could be expanded to a larger article. This is what I needed to hear this morning!

  68. Ahhhh, big sigh of relief. I love you too, Kris. Couldn’t ask to read anything more frickin’ brilliant at 5:36 Xmas eve morning. Perfect. I will be coming back to this throughout the day & rest of the year, thank you.

  69. Reminds me lots of the Abraham material. Our lives really are about “being happy” and loving ourselves, and everyone else. An empowered life that “saves the world” looks very self centered to many, but it isn’t. Like a master once said when asked “how do we save the world?” answered, “You don’t even know who you are”.

    This is a powerful focus that does much for me. I know this, but this is another brick in the foundation of that knowledge.

    Love you too!
    Bart

  70. I think this is the most beautiful and true thing I’ve heard in a long time! Exactly what my soul needs and wants to hear right now. Thank you SO much! I love you <3 Happy Light & Love & Holidays, Rachel

  71. Thank you so much for this. This is a message i really needed to digest right now! I am currently planning on going back to school, as well as potentially buying my first home. So many decisions lie a head of me and i keep trying to fit all the puzzle peices in place of what i want my future to look like. I need to be less focused on what i want my life to look like on the outside and more on what i want my life to feel like on the inside. Thank you so much for your beautiful message!
    Love from Robyn in Northern British Columbia

  72. I love you more with every passing year, soul sister. I’ve tied my self-worth to that circus in the past. Not anymore. Here’s to inner peace and self-compassion in 2013. xo

  73. This is so beautiful and important to read right now, Kris. I feel like I’ve changed so much as a person through the experience of deep suffering and coming back to myself anew. In almost an, “Hello, nice to meet you” kind of way. I am beyond grateful to be employed, for my house, my sweet husband and furbabies. And yet, I feel like it’s the coming home to myself that makes it all work. The more light I let in, the better my life feels. And it has so little to do with outside accomplishments and so much more to do with waking up, looking around, and seeing miracles everywhere – and feeling those miracles deep in my heart (which can be terrifying – getting back to the “vulnerability issue”). Thank you for articulating this sentiment so beautifully. I’ll be thinking more about self-care as a result. Happiest of holidays to you and yours!

  74. Thank you so much. Your post touched me in a way that is hard to put into words. My Intention for 2013 is to feed my soul with love, gratitude and forgiveness.

    Wishing you and your family and peaceful and loving 2013!!!

  75. Hey Kris,
    Thank you for sharing this. I have been reading your blog for a little while now and I appreciate your honesty and willingness to be “raw”, no matter what folks think or say. Here’s what I see now that I read what you shared here…
    My purpose is nothing that someone can take away from me. It’s not my service in the world, although it may foster my purpose, meaning move me closer to feeling loved, but it isn’t my everything. At the end of the day when the world is asleep we have ourselves and our connection with “God” (whatever that means for each of us). I choose who I am and what my purpose is, for me, who I become. A loving supportive father, a vibrational being, being love… I relax into who I AM.

    Thanks again Kris! (I guess I was a little long winded today!)

  76. Awesome :)

  77. Love this read!
    “Today, I think suffering is essential. The trick is to learn how to move out of suffering once you get the nugget and are ready to apply the lessons. Note: Residue of pain may remain (and that’s OK), but at some point you can fully release the suffering.”
    Still learning this…….
    Sending lots of love and light your way!

  78. Deep exhail. Thank you. I needed that.

  79. Dear Kris,

    Thank you for this vital, beautiful, precious and powerful message! These are words that I speak and write often, but typically I send them out to others the way you did today … I want to tell you that reading them for me was like receiving the greatest gift- it was like a healing balm for my soul, and my soul and my entire being thanks you. :)
    I love so many things that you said, but especially these moments:

    “Today, I think suffering is essential. The trick is to learn how to move out of suffering once you get the nugget and are ready to apply the lessons. Note: Residue of pain may remain (and that’s OK), but at some point you can fully release the suffering.”

    “What if your purpose is to take impeccable care of yourself so that you have the energy and joy to serve others?”

    and finally, “What if your purpose is to release all shame and feelings of unworthiness? Guess what you’ll find behind those feelings? Vulnerability. Roll out the red carpet for the V word because vulnerability is where your true strength and glory resides.”

    For me, being vulnerable (which we all are anyway whether we want to acknowledge it or not) :) is the greatest challenge, and reading what you said about shame and feelings of unworthiness that lie underneath deeply resonated. Today, when I sit and meditate on what I want to usher into my life this year, your words will ring like gorgeous, mellifluous chimes floating on the currents of new life-embracing energy that arises from deep within— confirmation that there are kindred spirits like yourself, incredibly brave, accomplished and generous souls who are on this same path to finding the highest calling and purpose in the simple, life-changing act of being soft and tender and kind with your own heart- in learning to truly love yourself.
    And of course, this holy act ripples out in concentric circles to embrace everyone who is ready to do the same …
    THANK YOU!
    All Love & Light this Holiday Season and Always,
    Jennifer

  80. Felt a collective out breath of ahhhh while reading this. My heart loves the possibilities and simplicity. Thanks for laying it out so clearly!!

  81. Very good thoughts on purpose. I think we relate our purpose to our outer self and that leads us to forget or not cherish our inner self. Thank you Kris for contemplative thoughts that take us inward.

  82. That was beautiful…I am crying. Thank you, Kris! xox

  83. Well written. I am constantly seeking, refining, defining…and I enjoy the process. But not to get to that elusive correct answer. Sometimes it throws me off when people ask me about my purpose and I have difficulty explaining it to them. This reminds me that the purpose and the ways in which I express my purpose are different.

  84. Kris, what a great post. This is the voice of Kris Carr that I love. Your inspiration and guidance is so very much appreciated. Many you continue to bring your inner strength to your community. This was an amazing gift to read today.

    Peace and joy to you.

    Jo-Ann

  85. Thank you Kris.
    Your thoughts came at a good time for me, inviting me to make a shift toward what will bring me more happiness and peace.
    Thank you.
    Lindy

  86. Dear Kris, I have only known you for a month and I have already learned so much. I love this post and will need to read and re-read it to fully absorb its magnitude. Merry Christmas with much love and gratitude.

  87. Simply beautiful. This truth radiated from your deepest, sweetest being and connected to the same place in all of us. Delicious. Thank you.

  88. Dearest Kris,

    You are such an Angel. Thank you for these beautiful words that touched my heart very deeply. Sometimes life can be confusing, so it’s nice to read words that cut right through to the soul and address the truth. Tons of love to you!

    Love, love, love,
    Leslie XO

  89. Awesome comments. I’ve been “struggling” with this “purpose” stuff for a while now, and what you says makes all the sense in the world. Thank you so much for these thoughts, and for all you do! God Bless…

  90. You are simply amazing.

  91. I love how you separate out your business/job/passion-fueled hobby from your purpose. I’ve stressed myself out a lot by trying to make my purpose the same thing as my business and it’s been challenging. As I started to realize that I was very clear on my purpose (learn how to love, cherish, and honor myself–what i call “being my own boyfriend”) while also being very clear on my business/job (helping people apply to graduate school), I’ve realized that my task is to LIVE my purpose, and that is an all-day everyday journey–not something that is going to necessarily translate to a job or a business. I wrote a book called Be Your Own Boyfriend, that 100% speaks to my purpose and to other women whose purpose is to master self-love. However, I don’t think spreading the message of self-love is necessarily going to end up being my BUSINESS. I really buy into the “do what flows” philosophy and what flows is WRITING about self-love but COACHING about more structured issues such as applying to graduate school and building a business. It’s freeing to know that I can be very clear on my purpose and that I can know that it does not necessarily need to be my full-time job or my business. I’d love to bring the two closer together, but as long as I understand how each one has its proper place, I feel a lot more at peace and a lot more on fire to do my best at both.

  92. Dear Kris,
    Thank you for this beautiful present. I may print it and reread it every morning. Merry Christmas and a joyous 2013 to you.

  93. Wonderfully written Kris! This deeply resonates with me, thank you so much for taking the time to write. Its how I live my life, although not always. I think we have to come to a realization that we will never be happy if we are trying to find happiness from other people, material objects, and how well we can conform to society. On the other hand I am so thankful for those awkward years of struggling to be accepted. Those years taught me (and still teach me) what doesn’t work.

    Love and Light! <3<3<3

  94. Hallelujah and Amen!

  95. Perfect timing. A really brave call u made here. U is a good girl…

  96. Absolutely beautiful… Honest… Real. Reading this meant so much to me. Thank you, xo

  97. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your brilliant insight. I have struggled to find my purpose my whole life. This last year I have made great strides towards finally just ‘being happy’. Staying in ‘spirit of play’ about life, laugh, enjoy, find things I’m passionate about and doing more of them, ,being grateful …and like you said – discovering me, taking care of me and being a happier person that can then do a far, far better job of helping others.
    I saw your interview with Marie Foleo (name?) and loved the idea of rather than finding your passion – put passion into what you are doing.
    And now this – brilliant. It’s reminds us that we are spiritual beings, and our growth is senior to any of our activities. You made me realize that this is something I started doing this year that has made a huge difference for me. I love ah-hah moments – probably more than anything else- and I love helping others have their ah-hah moments and watching them light up. A recent change I made – but wasn’t fully aware of until your article – I started to truly appreciate any negative people/events that came my way – realizing that they were there to either teach me something and/or help me appreciate the good in my life. You can’t have light without dark, so the ‘bad’ just helps make the good greater!
    I think this article does a great job of clarifying an area that has had people very confused – and on the wrong tract – and therefore not able to succeed. I now realize that the way it’s been presented – finding your purpose – has really set people up for a loss. (unintentionally – but it’s been grossly misunderstood).
    Thank you again for the insight – I feel now that I’m finally clear on my purpose – and can finally relax about that, and just go out and put passion, humor and joy into my life and the lives of those I hope to help.

  98. Love, love, love this post! It is both gentle and powerful and exactly what I needed to hear. Your writing is a great gift this Christmas Eve.

  99. Hi Kris,
    As usual, beautiful, tender and vulnerable wisdom from a woman who has done a lot of work on herself. Thank you for sharing!

    Erin

  100. BEST BLOG EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thank you! : )

  101. We used to say that experience is the best teacher but the tuition is high. This implied we should not have experiences and it is better to learn from others. Perhaps at times, but I have come to feel that experience is the ONLY teacher and the rest is merely hearsay. Very nice article. As a former pastor, I have buried a lot of indespensible people and those who were too busy to die. uh huh…:)

  102. Thank you thank you thank you! These were exactly the words I needed to hear today and after these past few weeks. Thank you for also sharing the human side of these truths too. They are beautiful ideas, but in practice they can feel messy and impossible at times. It’s reassuring to know that it’s a process, not an end game! I hope your holidays are filled with LOVE and peace!

  103. LOVE this one dear sister. thank you for a radical and honest love filled description of our True purpose. gorgeous. love you

    xo, Christine

  104. Your words for today are a beautiful gift and just the message I needed to read. Thank you!

  105. Thank-you Kris Carr,
    I so needed to hear that.
    Blessings always to you and your loved ones.
    Miriam

  106. This is one of those posts that really is a game changer – as someone already mentioned below. I’ve been soul-searching for my purpose for a long time now and really struggling with not really knowing what my purpose is. I’ve always felt like a jack of all trades, master of none. So reading your words – “Your purpose has nothing to do with what you do.” and “When our purpose is external, we may never find it.” – really helped me. Thank you. This is really exciting!

  107. Boy, did YOU hit the nail on the head!! Well said and beautifully written! Thank you.

  108. There is no greater gift we can give the world than to love ourselves unconditionally. Merry Christmas to you Kris!

  109. thanks kris … you’re such an enlightened soul. we lean towards your light, and you are always welcome to lean towards ours as well. merry christmas.

  110. Christmas has come early! Thank you so much for these words Kris. I’ll enjoy re-reading this post often. Wishing you & all your readers an anxiety-free & blissfully peaceful Christmas xxxx

  111. Hi Kris

    I couldn’t agree more with what you have said. And you said it all so incredibly eloquently!
    I do confess tho, that I did JUST learn this idea of our purpose actually being to love ourselves and cherish ourselves as we would anything or anyone on the outside, be it nature, our parents, our lovers or children.

    So now I know my purpose and am working on it. I’m pretty sure it’s a lifetime worth of work that only gets better. And little did I know that I actually have been working on this my entire life.

    And my mission, well, that is the easy part, isn’t it ;) Step one, build website, step two, get clients, step three, service them with all my heart.

    Thank You Kris Carr, you are a beauty I cherish.
    Enjoy your holidays :)
    Kim

  112. Might be the best gift received for Christmas:) Happy Holidays everyone!

  113. How timely – thank you Kriss.

  114. Thank u. This is right on

  115. I think that you are incredible and I would love to come and give you a huge hug right now! Thank you very much for your beautiful words for they could not have come at a more needed moment. Lots of love, I wish you all the best and better yet in this special celebration season. You truly are a gift! Thank you!

  116. Thank-you. I have struggled with the whole purpose thing to the point of severe anxiety in recent years. I’ve been so afraid that I will not find my purpose and the years will just wash over me and I will grow old never having found my purpose. Popular culture puts so much pressure on us to “find our authentic self” and “live our purpose.” While I believe in this I also find it can be another huge undone task on the list and yet another way to make me feel not good enough.
    I am going to print the last bit of your article and put it up somewhere where I will see it often to remind myself what is important.
    Thank-you and Merry Christmas and Happy 2013 to you!

  117. Bless you Kris! You came to this understanding at a much younger age than I. You will help so many with this blog. You are such a gentle, wise spirit. Your light has connected with the light of so many others!

  118. Dear Kris,
    Your blog post struck a chord with me today. I, too, have had an intimate and layered experience with suffering. I have lived with an undiagnosed chronic illness for the last 7 years. I used to be an active, “outdoorsy” girl, who paddled class IV rivers in a kayak, skied the bumps like a champ, and ripped it up on my mountain bike. I love to play in the dirt. Then I got sick…really sick. I could barely leave the house for 4 years. Doctors were dumbfounded and kept making me sicker. So, I turned to other healing methods.

    Over the last 3 years, I have been focusing on nutritional healing, herbal remedies, and detox programs. I have regained some of my life, but have still been coping with a variety of symptoms, including fatigue and neurological issues. Just this month, I received the best Christmas present that I have ever had – a diagnosis. I learned that I have chronic Lyme disease. Knowledge truly is power and gives me a new focus on my healing journey.

    As you know, there are tremendous lessons within our suffering. And, I too, believe that suffering is essential to the human experience and to our personal growth. People do not change until they have to. People often do not learn the essential lessons of their lives until they are forced to. Like you, my illness has led me to my life’s work – helping to bridge the gap between Western Medicine and alternative healing methods. I have a Biology degree, an R.N. degree, and I love to write. I am working on telling the stories of people who have healed themselves from chronic illnesses for which they were told there was no cure. Like the food movement, I think that consumer demand will drive change, so I am going to help get those stories into the mass consciousness. But, your post makes me rethink the idea of that being my purpose.

    As you said:
    “Seriously, what if finding your purpose is about finding and nurturing yourself?”
    “What if your purpose is to develop an everlasting faith in yourself? To remember your holiness and treat yourself accordingly. The deeper your faith gets, the stronger your connection to a higher power.”

    Here’s a a few of the lessons that I have learned from a journey that took away so much of my life and then gave so much back to me:

    1. I learned to respect the feminine contributions to the world, because I became a stay at home mom – something I never thought I would do.
    2. I learned to nurture my children in a way that I may never have learned if I had been able to continue my fast-paced way of living.
    3. I developed a true appreciation and need for my girlfriends.
    4. I found GOD.
    5. I realized that I am not my ego.
    6. I learned about real wellness and healing.
    7. I learned about food.
    8. I started finding people like me – women who fight the good fight, bridge the gap, speak up ELOQUENTLY for what makes us healthy and whole.
    9. I learned to trust intuition.
    10. I learned to have faith in MY journey.

    The list could go on forever and continues to grow. Perhaps learning those lessons IS my purpose. I have always loved to learn and been pushed toward personal growth. There is tremendous peace and satisfaction in the thought that by learning those lessons, I am fulfilling my ultimate purpose in this lifetime.

    Thank you, once again, for your wisdom.

    Love and light,

    Shawnie

  119. Your dog is awesome! I want to give her a vegan dog treat. Happy holidays!

  120. So true.. So true! I read this at the right time. Thank You!

    Love and Power for 2013!

  121. You are my hero. That is what I think. Thank you for making my day. Finding you was the greatest gift that I received in 2012.

    A million light filled Christmas hugs to you!

  122. I love you too, Kris.

    Thank you for all you do.

  123. I struggled with similar questions for a long time. Purpose? Calling?

    I realized they are not the same thing. It helped me to think…

    Our purpose is our why
    Our passion is our who (who we are)
    Our calling is how our purpose and passion fit into the big picture.

    I’d say our purpose is all we need for a reasonably happy life. Our calling is dynamic and changes over time but it is how we use our passion to deliver our purpose…to manifest our identity to the world.

    I’m actually writing my doctoral dissertation on this very thing (purpose/passion/calling) and how we integrate, develop and deliver the three of them.

  124. Thank you Kris. I LOVE the lenses you use to view life!!! Your message is just what I needed to hear today.

  125. Perfect. As someone who has been looking for her purpose you words and comforting, inspiring and so well timed! Thank you for all you do!

  126. Kris,
    Thank you for writing this reminder. Six months ago I started my health coaching business. I help people heal digestive issues like IBS. This felt like a spiritual calling and I too thought “finally I have found my purpose” but the purpose really is to heal ourselves totally so we can heal others in the process. We are all connected so healing ourselves emotionally, physically and spiritually will help support other people to heal themselves.

  127. Thank you Kris, for this great post and everything else.
    Merry Christmas and warm wishes for 2013.

  128. This might be the most meaningful blog post I’ve read all year and it touches on all the stuff I’ve been thinking about as we head into the New Year. Nose to the stone with the same old career ambitions is not going to work for me anymore. Thank you for a warm, heartfelt post that points the way to a better and more meaningful way to be. Happy Holidays, Namaste and all the rest!

  129. Kris
    Thank you for writing this. Six month ago I started an online business helping people heal their digestive issues like IBS. When I started this work I was on a spiritual high because I was so in love with what I was doing and finally found my purpose. But thank you for the reminder that it is not about healing and pleasing others so much as it is about healing and pleasing yourself.

    Truly healing yourself can heal others because we are all connected and that healing energy will radiate out to help and support others.

    Thank you for this lovely inward reflection during this special, reflective time of year!

  130. What do I think……I think that, besides the obvious fact that you are a beautiful soul, you have written truely, beautiful words! I am so moved…I love your article.
    Thank you for this…..so timely!

    (On a personal note, after reading about your juicing…I went out and bought myself a juicer!! I absolutely love it…..I make green juices for company….they kinda look at me quizzically…..but….they are surprised at how much they love it too! )

    Thank you Kris Carr…love you too ;-)

  131. Thank you, Kris. I really needed this. Being single on Christmas is no sweet treat. Love to you too! I definitely lean toward your light. xo

  132. Thank you Kris, for your blog, your inspiration, your clarity.
    It brings me courage and strength, and returns me to ‘me’ – whomever Iam.
    Love and hugs,
    Suzanne

  133. The writer Jay Parini recently tossed out a rather insightful phrase: “our ego-drenched understanding of reality”. Our ego is all about our goals and accomplishments and external ambitions. It comes down to a simple thing really: will you let your real Self be in charge for a minute?

    It is hard to set aside all these external things from which we seem to draw our value. But it’s all false. There are a few (a VERY few) people like you, Kris, who can regularly speak to the masses and yet be clear that you are not your fame. There are a lot of famous people doing good work, but they are merely helping people move from first grade to second. The world is aching for some post-graduate professors. In fact, the famous teachers are in aching need themselves for some higher learning.

    Will the rank and file grasp what you are saying here? Maybe not. But power to you for saying it because some will. Where else will they hear it? When the student is ready, the teacher appears. May we all rise when it is our turn, whether as the student or as the teacher.

  134. Oh beloved Kris ~ your is like a “blogasim”! – I am giving you the big “when harry met sally” YES! YES! YES!
    So gooooood, so true, so real, SO so important. Life has taught me this in a tough way this year – as my vocation has been on hold (laid off is another term) I am near broke but rich in essential wisdom and comfort knowing what really IS – what IS this Consciousness that forms this being – its schway big. It is also comforting to hear this from someone who seems to be gleaming in the big “calling” flow of life … so if my vocation moves back to more “widgets” in order to feed my fam vs. “big” service – I know my true being purpose will be honored and blissed out wherever I am! xoxo thx!

  135. Wonderful. Thank you.

  136. I’d personally change your first bullet point to:

    “What if your purpose is to build an everlasting relationship with GOD? To fall deeply in love with GOD?”

    Once I did that, everything else fell into place. You will love yourself, because He loves you. You will forgive yourself and others, because He did first. We cannot be whole until we fill the God-sized hole in our hearts. Nothing else will fit, no matter how hard we try to force it. God is LOVE. <3

  137. Loved it. Thank you.

  138. Kris thank you for this beautiful post. It was definitely exhale worthy and touched a part of my soul that needed to hear it. This line especially resonated with me: ‘What if your purpose is to release all shame and feelings of unworthiness?’ Lately I’m finding that getting in touch with my vulnerability is exactly what I need to release my own feelings of shame and anxiety.

    There is strength in vulnerability and instead of running from it, I am choosing to run towards it. Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom and Happy Holidays! xo

    • To Tanya:Не правда! Если у человека уже есть диплом учиться не нужно, тем более 5-6 лет.Did you come to Canada 22 years ago barely over 20 y.o.? If your anwesr is no then don’t say Не правда! Don’t exclaim it and leave some room for doubt.One thing if long time grad had successful engineering career in Russia, accredited 10 or more of filed/office work related experience. Then, yes. Most likely you will be asked to take A/B tech examinations, Engineering Economics or FE exam which cancels now A/B and EE. Again it’s up to the board to decide on case-by-case study.From the other hand, if you settled as non-experienced grad from somewhere with basic studies yet not rusted you might as well go back to text books and get education you need for the market.I don’t believe that education and work ethics are competent enough in Russia. I knew some Russians overwhelmed and burnt out on engineering work because they weren’t prepared mentally to do 150% more than they used to do back home. Sadly, but every time am trying to push some eastern Europeans resumes forward, the anwesr I’m getting: those people are just a headaches . Not that I’m agree with that. It’s like to drive the same car for 20 years then got a new one and yet still wining about your old crap.

  139. It’s been easy for me to believe that you have all the answers and are sure of all things at all times because of your wonderful writing and great knowledge, but your honest, evolving words today reminds me that you too are still on this human journey subject to the ups and downs, certainties and questions, reflections and modifications that we are all experiencing. It inspires all of us that we all relate to each other and I am so happy I discovered you. ps….I recommend the book Simple Abundance to coincide with searching for one’s authentic self. pps….I wish you were my next door neighbor.xo

  140. Waves of deep resonance flood through my Being with you on this Kris. Thanks for sharing your Soul’s radical authenticity with so much trust and love. The more I follow my heart & bliss and grow into being an inspiration and service to those who choose to include my facilitation in their journey of self-healing, the deeper I meet my own Soul’s call for radical self-love, forgiveness & compassion on every level of life…just so that I can experience the gift of the present moment, one breath at a time….and the magical synchronicity, healing and peace that seems to unfold from this simplicity.
    For I am not a ‘perfect’ model to my idea of ‘world’ expectations! This projection truly stops me in my tracks, as it takes way too much energy, yet brings to awareness that I was playing a variation of fear out in the background of my mind. I have progressively discovered, experientially, that continuously being open to receive radical love & compassion in response to when I feel I don’t know how to receive it, HEALING HAPPENS. What a joy to be alive and embodied.

  141. Recently read a solstice prayer that suggested reconnecting with your inner light as well as celebrating the return of the outer light. Loved it. Many blessings!

  142. Ahhh, so true, Kris! THANK YOU THANK YOU!

  143. Lovely, I have had this question written in my journal for months now….”Have we misplaced purpose?” Thank you for the reminder that our purpose on this planet has less to do with our doing and more to do with our being. xoxo

  144. I really enjoyed this article because it made me think. I really see where you are coming from and I connect with it. Thank you for the food for thought. It really takes loads off of your shoulders if you look at purpose this way. Self care ALL DAY!

  145. I love this. I have been trying to figure out who I am, or what I’m supposed to be doing, by deciding what external thing I truly am for *years*. I think I kindof knew better, but I’ve been trying to figure out whether the real me is a writer or an artist or a somatic-emotional healer, or a whatever, for so so long. None of these things is me. I am not one of them, or even all of them. I am something else. The things I do are things I do – what I think I may categorize under my inspired mission, or what I need to do, or what makes my heart sing. Any of which may or may not change. Your purpose is discovering and nurturing who you truly are. That feels really different. Thank you.

  146. I like this blog so much – it feels peaceful and right and doable. I think the ego ties us to a material achievement/purpose. This helped me so much today – I was struggling with this earlier then went running in nature and felt at peace then felt like I shouldn’t feel that because I would lose my inner conflict about finding my purpose. But what if me feeling good was the purpose and by me feeling good it leads to everything – that is so much simpler and I’ve thought of this before but it has felt too easy or narcissistic – but I always feel good when I look at things this simply. So thanks – I’m rambling now so I’ll sign off – Merry Christmas!!! xoxo

  147. Perfect! Thank you! I want to read this to EVERYONE I know!
    Sending you great big Cyber HUGGGGGGS!

  148. Kris, I have my furry child on my belly and tears streaming down my face. Your light really does lead our lights to where they need to be. Thank you with all the grace and gratitude I possess. My heart is full and my feet grounded, and I love you.

  149. I think you`re amazing. Being amazing without having that as a main goal is such a gift. Take care of yourself during this holiday. You are such a big gift for yourself and all of us. Much-much love from Norway

  150. I love you too!

  151. Wow. Unbelievable how timely this is. Thank you for taking the time to write and to share. You are such a good and loving teacher, just by being YOU…. Happy Holidays, Kris. T

  152. Upon reading the first sentence, “….. being softer, kinder, slower with myself” even amidst feelings of anxiety~ well, you nailed both my longing (an intense pull towards finding a way to inner peace and calm) and my all-too-often current state of mind (anxious). I rarely read/hear words or insights shared that speak to me so personally, and am so grateful to have read your words tonight. Yes, yes, of course, there it is : “Your purpose is about discovering and nurturing who you truly are, to know and love yourself at the deepest level and to guide yourself back home when you lose your way.” To wake up and know that truth each day, and live my moments through the day with that at my core~ this is the most worthy aim I can think of. I know it influences both my actions (whatever it is I do, big or small) as well as my perspective in the most profound ways~ that nebulous knot in my stomach that I can’t even pinpoint dissolves and all of a sudden I breathe deeper, I look people in the eye more, I smile inwardly and outwardly more, my interactions with others are more genuine, things I do/say/create feel more inspired. ~ Makes me feel radiant in a kind of ineffable way because it comes from my core. I’ve found myself in these moments of grace, too infrequently, but I’ve known such moments. Your words today make this state of being more vivid for me, and are like a spiritual hug that I didn’t even realize I was aching for!

    You’re a beautiful soul, Kris~ Thank you for shining your light, which I see as this gorgeous bright Qi ball drenched in honesty, courage, vulnerability, insight, love, openness~ I could probably go on but will just end with a grateful *sigh*. Peaceful, love-filled holiday to you.

  153. This is beautiful, thank you!

  154. Kris, thank you for this stunning and liberating piece of online literature. I don’t know how you know what I always need to hear, but you are more to me than a wellness expert, and this is more than just a health blog. You’ve changed my life for the better so many times already, and now you’ve done it again. Merry Xmas, my dude. You rule.

  155. Wonderful and inspiring post. I will be sharing this with many. XO

  156. Struggled with this al lot, and a whole lot lately. Found a very vague aha! taking a shower yesterday. About how it’s not in the doing, but in the being. How it’s in what is going on within and how that spreads out with everything you say, you do, the glance in your eyes. Yes!!! But what does that really mean? This morning I read your Blog and the aha! comes very clear now. Thank you! It’s hard to keep this focus though, the world makes you (want to) think so different. We really need to help each other with this.

  157. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. You are a blessing. Love to you too.

  158. Wonderful!!!! Just what I needed! THANK YOU! Many Blessings in 2013

  159. What a lovely present to unwrap on Christmas Day! Thanks for sharing your beautiful insights. Peace & Love from the inside out <3

  160. Your words are my Christmas gift.
    Blessings to you and your love ones.

    Danielle

  161. Thank u for this Christmas present <333333

  162. Thank you Kim! I have been struggling with this a lot in the last few months. I have been getting this message in various otherways…but not as well written as you just did. This blog really hit home for me. I sold my business ( for several personal reasons) of 8 years doing what I thought WAS my passion. I have in many ways been grieving my loss and trying to find the silver lining, as well as wondering now “So what IS my passion?!” So thank you for this wonderful gift you gave to us today! It finally has sunk in how to find it!

    • I meant to say that I have been wondering what is my passion and purpose. So you have now answered how to find my purpose. And I do believe that when I awake to my purpose that my passion will once again show itself clearly.

  163. YES Thank you Kris, Merry Christmas :) <3

  164. Thank you for this awesome blog post Kris!
    I think this conversation about “finding our life purpose” and making happiness our primary function is so timely and important right now. It wasn’t until I accepted and embraced all of me, all of my desires and all of my talents and abilities that miraculous opportunities opened up for me and now I feel it’s my calling to guide and support others on the path of their life purpose. I write about this topic a lot on my website and it’s also a major part of the coaching calls with my clients. 
    http://www.elisalionne.com/whats-my-life-purpose/
    Thanks again for this beautiful message and let’s all set the intention to take loving care of ourselves! That’s such a huge part of living on purpose.

  165. You really plugged into something here. This resonates so much with me–and obviously so many of your other readers. I will take this with me into the new year. Thank you!

  166. Thank you Kris for the loving reminder…

    I did a work shop that was about ‘finding your purpose.’ The magic I took from the course connects to what you are have shared.

    We are taught to believe that we have a single purpose… do we have a single purpose OR :) is it possible to live a purposeful life?!?!

    Therefore… how do I choose to live everyday? For example, for me a purposeful life would be one in which I am cultivating the ability to be open, loving, authentic, curious and a connected presence. This is how I can focus and purposefully show up to all moments of my life… our careers etc are part of journey.

    I love this quote from Magnetic True North Story by Julia Butterfly Hill:
    “Now imagine living your life “ON PURPOSE.” Realizing that your true power does not come from outside sources, but rather from who you are BEING and what you are choosing. In this space you are powerful enough to cause your world to line up to you! In this space YOU are the magnetic true north on the compass, calling and causing your life to match you in manifesting your life’s dreams, passions, and purpose.”

    Much love!

  167. Awww Kris! So well said and appropriately timed. Thank you for being you and for putting yourself out there for others like me to lean into your light. And for giving me “permission” to shine mine. You have been a big part of my 2012 and I am looking forward to a healthy, joy filled, loving, laughing & vulnerable 2013. Much love to you & yours! xoxoxo

  168. Wow! Thank you! Hits very close to home. You truly make such a difference. Merry Christmas!

  169. This is an exceptional read… you are exceptional… Thank you

    p.s. I’m exceptional =)

  170. I was asking myself that very question the past few days. I coud not figure out what kept driving a sense of loss and feelings of hopelessness. I realized after reading your blog I was thinking too much about what I do as it relates to purpose. I forgot to be kind and gentle with my self care the past few months and I am feeling depleted. My goal for 2013 is do more traveling and love myself more often through slowing down and doing what I love. Thank you.

    • We LOVED Dr. Pearson!! The only reason why we left his ptaircce is because we moved out of state. Dr. Pearson is very knowledgeable. He explains things in a way that even my kids can understand. I have a boy with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, and he had a ton of anxiety about going to the dentist. Dr. Pearson was very good with him, and helped him feel safe. We recommended Dr. Pearson to all our friends!

  171. Dear Kris,

    I think the greatest gift I got this year was finding you, Gabby B and Marie F. Thank you for all you do.

    Much Love,
    Larissa

  172. I’m glad I didn’t read this post right away. I feel like the Universe was guiding me (through feeling like I had to do other stuff first) to wait until tonight. Although it’s been a hard year with a bitter divorce, and I was hoping the holidays would just not happen this year, the festivities are now over for me and I’m home by myself and feeling really down. And then I read this post. It’s going to be the topic of my journaling tomorrow.

    I have ADD. Didn’t get diagnosed until I was 40, and I have spent my entire life defining myself by what I didn’t get done. And if I could only get more done, I’d be OK. If I do, I’m OK, if I don’t, I’m not. Your post seems like it just might light the way to healing from all that shame. It makes me think of Evelyn Underhill’s “The Spiritual Life.” She says that “Doing, wanting, and having must be transcended, and encompassed by Being if any of these other three verbs are to be productive or effective.”

  173. This is spot on! Thank you so much Kris for sharing your amazing insights and vulnerability so beautifully. This is perfect timing for me considering a new career direction next year helping others yet there is still more work to do on myself first.. I’ll now make that the priority. Thanks again. Peace, light and love.

  174. Oh. My. God. Where have you been all my life????? I was trawling my FB feeling sick with the flu and more “lost” than usual, and saw the link from a friend to your words here: very timely. I am going to print this and stick it on my wall, at work and at home. Thank you!

  175. Wow!
    Thanks a lot for your great great reminder about this.
    That the exteral purpose is not the real one but the inside.
    I got that clear when I was finished with my treatment for lymphomacancer 5 years ago.
    I realized what is important in life and that´s my guide from then.

    I have come to respect and listen to my body in an another way.

    Thanks for all your inspiration and all your great efforts of giving a helping hand.
    I´m so grateful for all you do for (me) us.

    I wish you the best 2013.

    Love

    Madelaine
    Sweden

  176. First off…I love your blog and site (and books) since finding you online!
    I hardly ever respond to any posts or articles that I read. But this time is so different to me….it completely hit home to something I’ve been struggling with. Your line “Your purpose has nothing to do with what you do. ….Your purpose is about discovering and nurturing who you truly are, to know and love yourself at the deepest level and to guide yourself back home when you lose your way” completely hit home for me on so many levels. I’m a mother to three little boys (6 yrs old and 3 yr old twins), a wife, researcher at a cancer center, dietitian, and going to back school for nursing. I try to find my purpose in all the activities I’m doing in each of these roles, but your message makes so much more sense….find it within and then it will radiate out into each of the facets of your life.
    I am curious though how you and other readers here react to when those close to you (family and friends) have a hard time accepting when you make changes to love yourself more in order to find your purpose (ie. eating healthier, taking time to do things like exercise, mediate, etc). I’m finding that I get made fun off or have sarcastic remarks made to me by people close to me as I’ve adopted a vegan diet and experiemented with different self-care practices like meditation. Any suggestions with how to respond with the negative responses I’m getting would be so much appreciated.
    And thank you in so many ways for the wonderful work you do. You do make a difference!

    • Simply say ” this is what works for me”. Then they are forced to look at what they are doing and evaluate if what they are doing works for them.

  177. Beautifully said! It’s so refreshing to hear the advice of putting your own house in order first, being happy, healthy, whole, and then allowing life to unfold as to purpose. Thank you for your sweet example of a human “being” rather than “doing”. :-)

  178. I couldn’t have loved this post more. As I noted in response to someone else, it actually made me cry. I’m 26, still living at home, single, and working at a dead end job that I do not like. On Friday, I had an interview at a job that will open so many amazing doors and I’m just crossing all my fingers and toes that I get the job. I know that it will make a hugely positive change in my life. But still, as Kris points out, that’s all external. And if I don’t get the job, there are still things I can do to positively change myself. I definitely needed to read this amazing post and appreciate every single word.

    It’s so easy to spread negativity these days. All it takes is a quick status update on Twitter and Facebook and hundreds of people have read your negativity. After the tragedy of Sandy Hook and with the new year upon us, I have vowed to change that within myself. When you focus on not complaining and not spreading negativity, you really realize how often your mind goes to the negative! And how much effort it takes to switch over to the positive. One of my main focuses is to make it much, much easier to focus on the positive instead. I think it will definitely help toward finding that inner purpose.
    Thanks again Kris!

  179. Dear Kris,
    thank you for this post. You are very wise. This is so refreshing.

    Lately (longer than lately :) I’ve been struggling with what am I supposed to do now that I’ve finally put some focus on my art, creativity, singing… I am a scientist but I dont like it anymore. I am dying for some beauty, purpose, passion but when I focus hard on my hobbies beauty dissapears and the things that used to make me feel good seem to become something I MUST pursue in order to make my living meaningfull and be true to myself.

    Your words about suffering give me consolation. I feel that some difficult parts of my life have given me wisdom but still there is that feeling “I should have been able to know how to avoid it”.

    It’s so good to know that I am not alone.

    I love you Kriss! :)

    Love from 1/3 of the globe away :)

  180. Your words resonate with me so much. All of my adult years I have been trying to “find myself” and my purpose and at 56 yrs old I finally realize I was never lost. I’ve spent my life caring for others now I realize that it’s my turn to receive (by giving it tom myself) all the love and care I have been giving away.

    Thanks for your wisdom. It brings tearst to my eyes :)

  181. What a great thought to wake up to. I have been struggling with this lately and it so nice to get an affirmation like this. Thank you! Definitely need to hear this today.

  182. “Peace and Exhale” ~ Thank you Kris! What a beautiful, timely message for us all. The best gift this Christmas from my daughter, miles away, was a heartfelt, emotion filled conversation about your post……your message. You so beautifully articulated the message to my daughter (AND her mother :) Thank You Thank You Thank You for being one of our greatest teachers. Blessings of Aloha ✨

  183. ✨Peace and Exhale✨ ~ Thank you Kris! What a beautiful, timely message for us all. The best gift this Christmas from my daughter, miles away, was a heartfelt, emotion filled conversation about your post……your message. You so beautifully articulated the message to my daughter (AND her mother :) Thank You Thank You Thank You for being one of our greatest teachers. Blessings of Aloha ✨

  184. Thank you very much for this wonderful blog that has inspired me to focus a little more love for myself and understand that that’s okay.
    I listen to others and give advice on self-love and self-acceptance, but now, with your words, I realized that I must apply myself these tips.
    Thanks again and I wish you a wonderful 2013.
    P.D: I wish your books were sold in Spanish

  185. Thank you Kris, I really really needed that.

  186. Thank you Kris-I have struggled with trying to find my purpose after cancer and feeling like I was falling short. Your words have inspired me to look further/deeper inside myself and just exhale and let go.

  187. Great post and always a timely subject.

    I learned (and continue to) the most about purpose from Ekhart Tolle. He has a way of simplifying things and citing original sources and teachers for spiritualism (to look up for yourself) and does it with amazing humility. I re-read his books all the time as well as Deepak’s. This is from his website:

    “…how an awakened consciousness aligns us with our life purpose. We have both an inner and an outer purpose, according to Tolle. Our outer purpose changes with circumstances and necessarily involves time, whereas our inner purpose remains always the same: It is to be absolutely present in whatever we do and so let our actions be guided and empowered by awareness, the awakened consciousness, rather than controlled by the egoic mind. We fulfill our destiny and realize our purpose when we awaken to who we are: conscious Presence.”

    My focus/ prayer like Kris’s and others is simple, to trust myself including my own inner guidance. I don’t worry about purpose. I practice trusting I’m where I’m meant to be at any moment and doing my best. Maybe if I live to be a ripe old age I will see my purpose. Here’s hoping we are ALL that blessed!

    Here is the link if you’d like to read more (I’m not connected to him/them in any way, just a fan)…

    http://www.eckharttolle.com/article/Awakening-Your-Spiritual-Lifes-Purpose

  188. Hi Kris,

    I really appreciate this blog because it’s so easy for us to get so caught up with whatever it is that we are doing that we can lose ourselves in the process. Going within is what gives us real meaning and connection to all life and light starting with our own.

    I was reminding myself of this very fact a couple of weeks ago when I was getting all swept up with some new possibilities for my future that I was beginning to lose sight of staying focused within.

    By the way I saw you at the Hay House convention in Pasadena and you were fantastic! (I was the shout out to you, lol) Your speech was one of the highlights of the entire convention.

    Warm Regards,
    Sherry

  189. Amen, Crazy Sexy Sister! Thank you for your beautiful words and your even more beautiful spirit!

    Kate

  190. Thank you, Kris. Thank you for trying to find the words, or for just using your voice, your style, to try to get this message of “self-love” through to us. I can’t believe how long I have been ‘seeking” and I am just now realizing how I have been practicing the opposite of that since I was very young (I am in my 40s). I really appreciate this blog entry. All the best to you in 2013!

  191. This resonnates a lot to me right now, the quest that i heroically and tragically pursue. This quest isn’t a struggle anymore if instead i focus on my well-being.

    Thanks a lot for writing that.
    Wish you the best,
    XX

  192. Man did I need to hear that!! My boyfriend has been trying to help me to do this, but he has been very pushy about it. Of course, just like a child would, I immediately get defensive and shut down when I’m pushed in that way.

    I’m not sure how to stop connecting my self-worth to my craptastic job, or how to forgive myself for spending so much money on art school, and STILL ending up at a job I hate. That was the whole point in going to college!!! I am struggling, and unsure HOW to go about accomplishing this idea of self-love and self-forgiveness, but reading this might just be a good start.

  193. This post has helped me reevaluate a very traumatic situation in my life so I can now move on to a deeper love, undestanding and forgivness for myself. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  194. Best post ever Kris, brilliant, profound!
    I love your work, thank you for sharing.

  195. Incredible post… You have beautifully articulated exactly that on which I am focusing. Reading your post eased some of my anxiety and instead soften/surrender to the idea of loving me

  196. OMGODDESS Kris. nail. head. hit it. So needed to hear this (read this). I have been working in this very thing. It is so interesting how we have to give ourselves “permission” to take care of ourselves. Truly love ourselves.

    This blog post will give women that permission they are looking for. You are a platinum goddess my dear. Keep on. The world needs what you bring. I certainly do.

  197. I absolutely loved this post!!! Thank you so much for your insight, soul lifting and inspiring words. Being one involved in a small way as a healer and teacher, I have at various times been quite clear about knowing our real purpose, finding inner peace and love and thus become a more beneficial presence in the world but boy is it ever so easy to forget and get caught up in the ‘doing’ instead of being. I am re-inspired to re-connect with my own spirit and Creator, to plug in more regularly and be a bearer of light we all are intended to be and that which is our true Self with a capital S. Thank you Kris, you are a blessing and such a beautiful example of that light which I mention. Go well with love and joy now and for the new year!

  198. Kris this is brilliant! I truely felt relieved! I had this thing going on in my mind for a long time now. Feeling so anxious about finding “my purpose”. The fact that our inner purposes are deeper than “what we do”, our hobbys and our passions; it just made me feel soooo darn good!! Thank you! So much! 2013 will be beautiful and simple! :)

  199. Hi Kriss, You nailed it right on the head, I have been working on everyone of the points you raise and know you speak the truth, something I am also learning to do. The going is up and down, sometimes easy sometimes the hardest thing but I’m getting there slowly. Thank you so much for todays blog, it really has slipped everything into place for me & I know I’m on the right path.

    Regards, Julie

  200. What a lovely post! This has lifted me up today. Thank you, Kris :)

  201. Oh, I loved this so, so much. Thank you, Kris! A beautiful message from a beautiful person!

  202. Your message came at just the right time. Just before the holidays I became unemployed, I had not yet to come to any sort of peace with my new status when my husband was hit by a truck while plowing snow and was badly injured. We spent most of Christmas in the hospital.

    I am struggling to love this flawed person with whom I am forced to spend so much time. Your exhortation to be gentle with one’s self helps on so many levels.

    Please keep up the great work!

  203. Talk about taking the pressure off! To stop worrying about what my ultimate life profession will be, and focus on my relationships makes so much sense. Your voice has guided me all week. Your advice puts EVERYTHING in perspective.

  204. Thank you for sharing this all important lesson. Gandhi is often misquoted as saying “Be the change you want to see in the world.” What he actually said was “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. … We need not wait to see what others do.”

    It may seem to be self-centered, but we are here on Earth to work on ourselves. The only person we can truly affect is our own being. If in doing so we become a beacon of light or a mentor to others great, but not necessary. Our job, our only job is to be the best ME we can be. It is not about what we accomplish or who knows what we accomplish. It is about finding joy, peace, and the divine within.

    I love how you say your job is your passion. It puts it into perspective as a transitory thing. I also agree with your point about suffering. I do not wish it on anyone, but maybe I do because the suffering often leads to the largest breakthroughs in our own growth.

    Thank you for this message I needed to hear today. Blessings.

  205. Kris, you wise witch. From where dost thou power spring?! That was a super-condensed , mega-charged, multi-nuggeted piece of ready-packaged life lessons. I’m reeling from it. I have struggled with separating my inners and outers and never really know where to anchor my self-worth. I know intellectually that pinning my self-esteem to the nomadic circus that is others’ belifes about me is foolhardy, yet I continue to do it. This piece about connecting with my inner light and letting go of the need for approval and recognition has an intelligence within it that can’t be ignored. You were in the zone writing this, fo sho.

    I’m in Ireland, in a rural area and have nobody to share my Kris Carr passion with. You really need to consider spreading your wings Westwards. It’s lonely living here without other wellness groupies. I can’t imagine the joy of knowing more people like you. I use the internet for my fuel, and through you have become acquainted with that sassy businnes queen, Marie Forleo. Hell ya!

    I just wish I could implement all I know and love about your teachings, and Marie’s. I’ll begin by taking advice from this blog post and using it to guide me through the year ahead, which I intend to make my healthiest ever. I have kicked a long and bitter battle with cigarettes and am finally free. Now I just gotta pick up your book, which I already own, and get down to it.

    Wish me luck!!! I want this to be the year I cut the shi* and transform myself into the starlet I know I can be. Keep inspiring!!

    Audrey xxxxx

  206. This is such a beautiful and important message. The line that struck me the most was: “what if finding your purpose is about finding and nurturing yourself?” This spoke to me and is a message I am going to carry into the New Year. It is so refreshing and peaceful to not place the pressure on myself to map out the “perfect” 2013 and instead focus on my true purpose.

  207. This is great. I think there is so much pressure we swallow to find some sort of fantastic career that fulfills everything inside. I think looking for this is setting yourself up for failure. A life has so many aspects and all of them are important, even the small things that only you see. Sometimes I think we are looking for some big home run every time we get up to bat, and neglect to acknowledge that consistent base hits all count for something. Thanks Kris and happy new year!

  208. Wonderful message and perfect timing. Thank you, Thanks you, Thank you.

  209. Thank you for talking about this. It is much needed.

  210. I came to the realization years ago that my purpose is in whatever I do – meaning, if I’m working in the corporate world (which at the time I was), my purpose is to be the best person I can be in whatever I did. My purpose wasn’t different at work than off work. My purpose was who I was. So following my intuition, doing energy healing work, working with the Angels, didn’t ‘turn off’ just because I walked through the corporate doors. My purpose is within every part of my being.
    Sue

  211. <3 you too Kris!!

  212. Folks are like plants, we all lean towards the light……..love that….went into my journal……….Thank you Kris.

  213. Perfect! This is exactly what I needed at just the right time. Thank you for all that you are doing <3

  214. Wow and thank you. I love this blog – and it is only the second one I have read being a new subscriber and currently working through your book. I am a long term vegetarian, searcher of knowledge, body balance teacher, environmet officer etc and so your words I had read to date all rang true but this blog hit home for me. I have studied as an NLP practitioner, nutrional counsellor and yoga teacher as I leave my 20 year field of environmental conservation – in my search of my true purpose – and this blog really hit home for me. I now know why yoga is ‘home’ for me. In yoga the goal is enlightenment – or as you put it to be the light. I thought my purpose was to serve others trough yoga and teh charity work I am doing for environmental conservation but my purpose I now see is to become enlightened and in doing so I help others – big difference. THANK YOU!! I look forward to more words of wisdom from you

    Bronnie

  215. I LOVE what you wrote. Thank you :). And I wish you a beautiful and magnificent holiday season. Rock on, lady!!!

  216. Thank you verry much Kriss!!! Just what I needed!!! Peace(from the Netherlands)

  217. My wife was diagnosed in May with stage IV metastatic breast cancer 13 yrs after “beating” it the first time. I’ve been struggling with my purpose a lot these days. This was an excellent, grounding blog. I don’t love myself very much and I can’t be the support my wife needs unless I do. Thanks for these thoughts.

  218. What a beautiful post Kris! You’re right, suffering is not optional because without it, how will you be able to appreciate the wonderful side of your life? We MUST take care of ourselves and know ourselves first and foremost. If we don’t look after ourselves then how are we going to make a difference to others? Or succeed with our own goals?

    There will ALWAYS be people who try to pull you down but that’s more a reflection of their life rather than something you’ve done in yours. If you’re wonderful to yourself and you do things that truly feel right and good deep in your heart then you’re on your true path.

    Love to you Kris and everyone else on here, may 2013 bring us all love, the big V word and happiness.

    Daz xxx

  219. Amen Kris!!! Well said. I am going to forward this to my daughter who suffers from this very question, therefore allowing herself to self harm, use chemical and substances to hide behind and trudge through very frerquent boughts of depression and anxiety. Thank you for the inspiration.

  220. Good Kris…I wondered what u were gonna say when I started reading…and if u really got it. When I look at yr website, it’s beautiful and uplifting, but where is the real u…and it’s what u said….u got it….! The Buddist heart sutra is worth reading…no end to suffering and old age…but in the middle of all that…what do u find?…yrself. I liked another quote…(good ole Facebook), which goes something like your sole purpose in being here is just to b you. Nothing else…what u said…thanks for a good start to my day, tea and wisdom.

  221. Amazing! i just keep reading it over and over!

  222. Thank you for this blog. This has been a continuous internal battle with me over last few years. Finding my path; my purpose. I’m fairly intelligent and have been successful at my undertakings (work, hobbies, etc) but didn’t find that momentous artistic, spiritual PURPOSE that some of my friends seem to have found. I have a regular job; 8-5, with regular life responsibilities; no magic callings have knocked on my door. Your blog brings to me a reminder of the inspiration that one brings to others when she is truly energized, caring for herself, sparkling with health and positive energy. Others remember this person and are lifted by being in the presence of someone like that. A spark is ignited to be like that person; to achieve that same radiant aura. So, thank you. I used to be that vibrant person but have lost sight of the path to her due to other external measurements of my self worth. I appreciate your words and deeply connect and am in agreement with what you’ve written. Happy New Year!

  223. Hi Kris

    I think you’re spot on. I’ve done a lot of research and pondering on this purpose path ‘stuff’ and have come to the same conclusion. As a niche coach I help people find their niche and have discovered how connected it is with your self worth and your purpose but I agree that if we connect our purpose to a job, business or specific thing we do we’re left high and dry when things change as they always do.

    By discovering our bigger purpose and connecting that up in some way to what we do so it reflects that and not the other way around we are then able to develop or even change our career path without losing our deeper sense of purpose.

    An example of this would be if your greater purpose is to bring more love into the world and heal yourself at the same time then that is something you can do through any chosen career or daily activity.

    Hope that helps someone who’s stuck on this as it can be very confusing!

    Love your new website by the way and happy new year. :)

  224. Thank you Kris. You are always a breath of fresh air. All my love!

  225. Kris Car… I love you.

  226. Thank God for this good news Kris!!! You will be, have been and always are a beacon of light, lessons and teachings in my life! Thank God for you, me and all the rest….. <3

  227. Eloquent and true – I keep coming back to this again and again. Thank you.

  228. Well said and ringing with a whole lot of truth. Thanks for the reminder and putting it so clearly. A perfect summation for the end of a turbulent and often totally chaotic 2012. This gives me a little glimmer of hope that the world is still wrapped in good intentions if not always resting in good hands.

  229. Kris! You rock! As a person who’s been searching forever! And everytime I’m in prayer and meditating with my HP, all I got the last several years was “love yourself.” Yet I knew to do that but questioned more, “…there’s something other than that so let me know what it is God.?.” Lol I got a detour and side tracked this beautiful morning to this article! And I know he’s finally hitting me with it loud and clear!:) I couldn’t be more in laughter this morning by having my aha moment and wanted to THANK YOU!! All the books I’ve boughten and researched to know what my purpose is when it’s been inside (tho I had an inkling) has been so I don’t even know how to explain it. Wasted but not wasted and you got it! Right on the mark!! Thank you!!!:) blessings Kris!! Inspiring! Much love!

  230. This is a brilliant and insightful article, Kris. It moved me. It reoriented me. Thank you so much for writing it. I adore you and your work. Happy Holiday xo

  231. Thank you Kris. I so hear you…..(exhale) :)

  232. You are such a beautiful soul Kris, thank you for all the love and the wisdoms that love carries – we all feel it in the deepest level, touched and inspired. Send you love and Wish you a year filled with joy, love and passion!

  233. Kris, I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer recently, just before my 40th birthday. I lost my mother to breast cancer at the age of 55. I am 10 years younger than she was when she was diagnosed. I grew up knowing about the importance of a healthy diet and I’ve done pretty good all my years. After my diagnosis, I realized it was time to kick it up a notch or two and go completely plant-based. A friend brought me your book Crazy, Sexy Diet and I was hooked. Thank you! It is so nice to hear from someone my own age, someone I could relate to, and someone who had led the way for me and countless others. The fact that you have some sass (like me) makes it a fun read. You have done so much to help others, you really have no idea. Again, a profound and deep thank you. I hope you are well and I’m glad you recognize the importance of taking care of, and loving you. Sending lots of warmth, hugs, love, smiles and all the good ju-ju in the universe to you! Be well.

  234. Kris – I am turning 65 in a few days and I want you to know that your message is without a doubt THE VERY BEST NEW YEAR’S message I have ever received.

    I wish it was available in a more “printable” format because I am going to print it out and read it every day until I get it……….really, really, really………..get it IN MY BONES.

    Thank you and blessings to you and to the work you love to do.
    Chris

  235. So great to find you ! Totally agree with the external purpose demands being fruitless etc AND great to find another place to spread among friends who without having had to confront cancer, have adopted vegetable-centred lives ! Thanks a lot

  236. I have been reading your blog for 2 years enjoying your books and this blog spoke to me in such a deep way. It is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!

  237. Awesome blog post. I want to read/listen/watch more on this topic. Any idea of links to other blogs, youtube videos or podcasts etc?

  238. I’m so glad I click on the link that brought me here! Thank you for your wonderfully insightful words :-)

  239. You are one amazingly special lady. Thank you. So grateful for your words, so grateful to have discovered you!

  240. Love it, will share on my Blog Raven Style
    http://cindersb.wordpress.com/

  241. Kris, as a Christian & Psychologist who specializes in Career Counseling with people who have various disabilities, I regularly find myself having to remind my clients who often have a poor self-image and low self-esteem that Biblical teachings such as the “Golden Rule”
    “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, …” (Matthew 7:12, Luke 6:31) Or “…love you neighbor as yourself…” (James 2:8), is predicated on exactly what you are teaching when you advise that your purpose has nothing to do with what you do outwardly, but instead, everything to do with who you are inwardly. Well said!

  242. Happy New Year! Thank you so much, I love how well you could express this in words. These words of wisdom are truly a gift and great reminder. With loving kindness and gratitude. Visma

  243. Kris… I absolutely love this. As someone who lives with chronic illness it offers and gives permission to change one’s thinking about self care. Thank you.

  244. Wow….this couldn’t have come at a better time for me! Just dxed as Stage IV, worrying about having missed the chance to find my purpose. Thanks for helping me re-adjust my sails!!!

  245. Just came across this simple and yet powerful message. Thank you so much for sharing this wisdom…powerful and a true gift.

  246. Yes, beautifully expressed and exactly when I am at ~~~ thank you for your ‘like-minded’ community
    Love & Blessings to you
    Nameste

  247. I have been following you for years, Kris. This, in my opinion, is the most important, profound, thing you have ever written. I will save it, forward it, re-read it, treasure it.

    Thank you!

  248. Beautifully put! Thank you.
    The great paradox for me has been that the more in synch I get with myself, the more naturally my outside ventures flow. Once you start listening and healing the inside, inspiration just flows out!
    xo

  249. Loved your post on ” the myth about finding your purpose’ thanks for writing it..

  250. Kris, thank you for writing about what’s been on my mind lately…separating my purpose from my passions. I’ve been feeling more exhausted as 2012 trickles its last weeks, days, + hours away and really asking myself some deep, digging questions about my life through these dark days. I, too, have arrived at my purpose being deeply personal and internal; something I’m constantly immersed in. While my work may suit my purpose, my work is NOT the purpose that keeps me showing up.
    Gratitude, Love, + Light
    Brandi

  251. Kris, thank you for opening up my mind & heart to “my purpose”! I love that my purpose & passion are 2 different things…sigh of relief :) For me my purpose is to become more intimate in my relationship with Jesus Christ because only through Him do I have complete freedom in every area of my life. I am a cancer & coma survivor and have believed that “my purpose” was being a Christian Life Coach but now I am aware that is my calling. Thank You so much for this post!!

  252. Hi Kris! I LOVE your stuff and read all the emails I get from you. I have started juicing too! Bought a Hurom juicer from airmiles, I absolutely LOVE it and really recommend it to anyone! I make least a green drink a day, and am getting some great zits on my face to prove the cleanse is working…that might also be the beets :) I have to say about purpose though that its not just about inside but also seeing what you want outside. I think what what you do for work is a reflection of yourself and therefore is part of your purpose. I think reflecting on ‘WHO’ you want to be is important in bringing your ‘purpose’ forth. It does begin inside but I think that you need to be looking at both places… LOVE you too :) xox

  253. I LOVED IT KRISS!
    RESONATING YOUR WORDS TO ME ONE MORE TIME :-)
    thank you darling,
    -Guadalupe

  254. What you said resonated so deep within me. What a difference my day would be if I only loved myself deeply and was gentle and kind. This will be my purpose in 2013. Thank you so much!

  255. This is so awesome. When I saw the words “finding your purpose”, I quickly raced to read what the ANSWER was going to be. And there is so much truth with how we all can be this time of year. With the rushing and the anxiety and the quest for perfection. (sigh)
    When i got to the part where it said, what if your purpose is… I felt all my muscles in my body relax. I felt my shoulders FINALLY drop and i breathed a REAL sigh of relief. Isn’t it funny sometimes how much stress we put ourselves under without even realizing it? As I’m reading this all I can think of is the fact that I’ve done this to myself! And I think my very favorite part of reading anything you write, Kriss, is that I can always relax, for real, while I’m doing it. I’m allowed to forgive myself. Or understand why I feel some ways. I can be gentle with myself. I can take my time. These are such simple things that I can’t believe it’s so hard for me to realize sometimes. Yet, you make it so easy for me. I feel this way when I read your books too. And for this, I’m so thankful. It may not be your purpose, ;) but you definitely changed MY life. Happy New Year to you!

  256. Hi! thank you for sharing this. Great guidance!

  257. Beautiful, insightful writing. Hits home and sounds true. Thank you for your clear thoughts on the most important question in life. This is a solid foundation on which to build my outer life.
    With much gratitude and love.

  258. Happy New Year sweet wonderful readers! I love you so so so much. Blessings for 2013. xo kris

  259. Thank you for the beautifully helpful and lyrical –“Sometimes folks will treasure your work, sometimes they won’t. Sometimes you’ll get the gig, sometimes you won’t…”etc. blog. It’s *exactly* what I’ve been feeling. After the sarcoma diagnosis in March 2011, I felt like the Buddha, surrounded by love and light, new ways (I discovered you and green juice:). It was great other than the lousy diagnosis. Year two was a mess. I felt enormous pressure to achieve something (wrote a novel years ago, had an agent, it was never published bla,bla, blah), and spiritual bliss it the brick wall. Now on year three I want to know who I am..well, basically everything you said. You’re better than the best. oo Nancy

  260. Well said. Thank you for your thoughtful words. I believe many people struggle with this and your article can provide some comfort and relief of the anxiety brought on by this issue. I’m truly astounded by your insight.

  261. A possible suggestion for the future… It would be fantastic if you could invent an automatic juice machine cleaner. I’m serious, that would be a total game changer. I have an automatic vacuum and it works wonders.

  262. Wow Kris, you really were talking to me when you wrote this! I have been struggling with those feelings of low self worth because it didn’t feel that I was doing enough for others or myself and lately I have been feeling plain old tired and bitter. Not really sure of what I was feeling but what you said made me realize that I really don’t need to be down on myself feeling like I haven’t achieved enough in life and I should just get out of my bad mood and depression and focus more on being nice to others and love them all just the way they are and the fulfillment will come from a peace within me that allows me to just be myself as long as its a nicer and less resentful self.

  263. I feel like I have been really living this in the last few years Kris and I love the way you have articulated the journey for me :) Just for me ;) Thanks! Happy new year!

  264. Still struggling with this idea… and with myself

  265. Interesting and want more!

  266. I just envisaged myself reading this to my future children. These words are true gems that I will read and re-read and pass on to all I know. Sending you an abundance of gratitude. You’re fabulous!

  267. I just envisaged myself reading this to my future children. These words are true gems that I will read and re-read and pass on to all I know. Sending you an abundance of gratitude. You’re truly fabulous!

  268. Brilliant and beautiful! Thank you.Brilliabr

  269. I love it, thank you :-)

  270. I wish I could hug this post! So beautifully written for a world obsessed with finding and living in a purpose… our very being and selves are beautiful enough!

  271. My feelings exactly. I am glad you could put words to express this so beautifully so I can share this message. Thanks you for this.

  272. “When our purpose is external, we may never find it. If we tie our purpose or meaning to our vocation, goal or an activity, we’re more than likely setting ourselves up for suffering down the line.”

    I’m a philosopher. I’m counting on it. Suffering keeps me in business. The more miserable I am and struggling with an idea I wish to externalize the happier I am knowing I will be refuted down the line, but the more I struggle the better the idea and the farther down the line. Today’s truth is the incentive of tomorrow’s skeptic.

  273. Dear Kris!
    These are the words I have been desperately looking for!
    I am so gratefyl that I have met you! I love your blog and everything you do. Cause You DO change people’s lives!!:)
    Ps. I also believe this year will be amazing.
    Love, Kinga

  274. Wonderful thoughts to begin a new year, a new me…that I love :)

  275. Thank you! Beautiful post! It’s so amazing to read something so calming and loving.

  276. Dearest darling cherished Kris,
    Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. This is a brilliant piece of loving brilliance. I just love and appreciate you so much for this contribution. I needed this and my true Self recognized every bit of wisdom and truth in what you wrote, even though I didn’t realize that until I read your words. As I read, I could feel energy running in response, my energybody vibrating with love, all of mySelf saying, “Yes, yes, yes, THIS is It (one of the many, many Its). I knew this and here it is, articulated so beautifully. Yes!” I am all gratitude and love. You have served my spirit in a very important way. May my love and gratitude serve you in return.
    Love, love love,
    Deb in NH

  277. Thank you for posting this, Kris! Much love your way.

  278. This message is just the thing I needed to hear, and who else to hear it from than you, Kris Carr! I have been more concious lately on where I put my focus and attention, and people like you are the ones that remind others of their inner light – not leading them further away from it. A heartfelt thank you!

  279. Beautifully stated, I couldn’t have said it better ; )
    Thank you.
    Kathy
    p.s. Your new cookbook is wonderful and I gave it as Christmas gifts this year:)

  280. Excellent post! I can totally relate – thank you!

  281. I think you are onto something Kris. Think I will give it a try and see what happens.

    Thanks for the wonderful ideas.

    Ray

  282. So beautiful and profound. Gave me goose-bumps, and a few tears!! Thank you for pointing me back in the right direction of my true purpose, of loving myself. I am so grateful for you!! Love you my sweet friend!!

  283. This was a beautiful post, and resonated with me into the first days of 2013. I’ve also been much softer on myself through the holidays and the turn of the year.

    Part of being gentler with myself is, as you talk about here, pushing back on the idea that we don’t “have” to suffer.

    Suffering is the first Noble Truth in Buddhism. We simply will suffer. The idea that we should somehow evade suffering with happiness or luck or manifesting or good intentions can actually lead us to be so hard on ourselves, to hold ourselves (and others) to impossible standards of a pristine, charmed life. I’ve held myself to these impossible standards of non-suffering even as I’m dealing with heartbreaking grief, illness, anxiety, etc. Not nice!

    I agree that purpose enough is something more internal and emerging than external and fixed. Maybe purpose enough for me this year is working on accepting suffering and allowing life’s sadness to serve as a chance to be compassionate towards myself and others.

  284. Thank you so much. I couldn’t have read this post at a better time. It gives me the inspiration and strength to continue with my crazy sexy diet and to keep living my life fully and wonderfully. It’s not always easy but your words make it all a little more bearable. Thank you,
    – Dunja

  285. Hi
    I have only just recently found your blog when looking for some more health blogs to add to my Google Reader and assist me in my journey to wellness. I was totally glued and found this post in particular very powerful. I am not only working on getting myself healthy–have some hormone issues I think or possibly insulin resistance, but I have been sucked into the idea of life’s purpose, primarily as I am not happy with my job and I feel like there is more to life. But thinking about the fact that life’s purpose is bigger than your job or other external things is a revelation because once you know yourself, you are working on yourself, you will bring opportunity your way and you will be ready to take advantage of it. Thanks, it was a great read for the start of 2013. I am looking forward to exploring your blog further!

  286. I received this blog from a friend of a friend. We had just been talking about finding meaning from within not from something outside ourselves. It was one of my 2013 reminders to self and others, in my blog post from Dec 30th. What a treat to read this today and be reminded once again. Validation and community are wonderful things :)

  287. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I really needed to hear all of those things just now.

  288. Kris,
    Thank you so much for yet another beautifully expressed piece of writing. That aching for “arrival”, the disease to please, and the martyrdom strip us of our essence, yet we cling to them desperately as though they were essential to our survival. You are correct: we have reached a critical time in humanity and in the words of Eckhart Tolle, “We must evolve or die.” May sound blunt, but it is the truth. The only way we can evolve is to learn to love ourselves and others unconditionally. The only time we suffer is when we fail to do this.

    Light and Love,
    Taylor

  289. Hi Chris, I thought that blog was great, thank you. My two favourite words at the moment are soft and slow, as soon as I say them to myself resistance within seems to abate.

  290. sweet relief. and glorious to ponder. I needed this. xoxo

  291. very well put. it’s an attitude that could have a large impact if more people applied it…

  292. Thank you thank you Chief unicorn! What a beautiful idea and I am making it the subject of my morning meditation- something else I am trying to do for myself this year.

  293. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is just what I need to hear today.

  294. Great article. Truer words may have never been spoken.

  295. I think you are always such an inspiring soul Kris – thank you!!!

  296. Keep writing from this place of love, Kris! It’s really good to read your texts after a hard year. :-)

  297. I love your blogs and all of your recipes. I have been diagnosed with mastocytosis, which essentially turns into a blood cancer in the body. I am following your advice to prevent the escalation of this dis-ease. Keep the good energy flowing! Much love and respect. Love you!

  298. Thank you Kris. It’s like you gave me permission to love myself first and be happy. I have been struggling for a bit and am slowly doing things for myself, to make me feel whole. And it’s working !
    Thank you again, and keep up the good work that you do for all of us :)
    Blessings,
    Diane News

  299. Hi Kris,
    I’ve been happily reading your wonderful e-newsletters for years now, but only now have I been inspired to write you. I agree that life necessitates suffering. However, I believe some of us can choose between types of suffering and lend ourselves to an uplifting kind. So, in a likeness to muscle soreness from exercise that ultimately feels great, we can skew our suffering toward peak experiences. The quest then becomes discerning which peak experiences we’re ready to navigate through – each to our own, being that the ultimate one is inevitably death itself. And like dying in orgasm during sex, we can actually design our propensity to pass over in a state of Nirvana if we manage to fertilize and cultivate the environmental landscape wisely, lovingly and in awareness of a return to our source. This calls for skill in navigating the delicate balance between inner and outer reality, flying with one wing in each sphere of influence. While this proves to be complex and personally distinct for us as thinking primates, not only is there no higher calling, but it’s pretty much illusory to think that there’s any other one at all.

    A heartfelt thanks for all the love. Back at you! —Raymond

  300. Been struggling with the same feeling – you are 100% on the mark! You have no idea how much it helps to see your blog and someone so successful and helpful to the world feel the same way. It’s all about what’s going on inside and taking care of ourselves :)

  301. I really needed this reminder today. I especially love your thought on bearing witness to your suffering, acknowledging it, and the big key, for me, applying the lesson.

  302. I needed exactly those words this morning and I found them here. Thank you for sharing.

  303. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this and YOU for putting it into words! My heart has been crying for this and I have prayed to God for this to come to me! Thank you – I feel like I cheated and took a short cut on the “path” to my healing and the beginning of the rest of my life!
    I am in my mid 50’s and lost my mother this past Friday before Christmas – it has triggered many thoughts, unpleasant and many attempts to beat myself up for what I did not do while she was here in this world.
    Thank you, I cried and I feel such release!
    I have started with your cookbook – although not Vegetarian – my desire is to consume more plants this year and learn how to make them taste good. I am a beginner in the “chef” arena – but I am hoping to get past my fear of “failing” and throw the perfectionist in the toilet one last time!
    I love you dearly!
    Thank you for obeying that voice and sharing!!!!!

    Ginny V.

  304. Awesome post Kris! Almost one year since dia with BC and my journey has taught me to try and love myself and be patient with the life changes I have had. So many lessons learned this year how strong we can be when we are tested. Thank you for this reminder today!

  305. Beautiful article Kris, I have been thinking similar thoughts about New Year’s intention/resolution but with different words. Your article really touched me. Thank you.

  306. Thank you for sharing this. Love you, Pat

  307. I feel freer having read this. This is my favorite thing I have read by you. What a gem. Love me and love you!

  308. Kris, you are my mentor and every since I stumbled upon your Crazy, Sexy Diet book and read it front to back, started juicing and loving who I am, my life has improved significantly. I hope one day to meet you and feel the love in person. Thank you a million times over.

  309. Thank you for this very inspiring message. Your message triggered some AHA! moments for me. Thank you!

  310. I love you also. I enjoyed very much your article as it brings so many things from my past. I don’t fully agree with the suffering part. I believe that our physical bodies may suffer at different times, but never the Self. Sometimes the physical sufferings becomes an opening through which we see the bigger picture and helps us connect with the bigger Self.
    I believe life on earth is possible without suffering.
    Do you meditate?
    I practice daily transcendental meditation as a source of connection to my larger self.

    Razvan

  311. What a beautiful piece of writing–thank you!

  312. I agree!! :-)

    Life is not about suffering. We’re here to celebrate our lives. This means being true to who you are. Each of us was born here exactly the way we were supposed to be.

    Being true to yourself and learning about yourself doesn’t come without pain. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Trust that everything that’s brought your way is there for a reason and ultimately for your benefit. Be open. Objectively study and observe what you’re going through. You’re in good hands.

    The sooner you understand the suffering is a part of a bigger beautiful picture, the sooner you can turn it all into beauty. For yourself. For everyone.

    Be true to yourself. Celebrate your life.

  313. Thank you for posting such a beautiful and honest message! My experiences in life have led me to believe this also. When I slow down and tend to my own inner needs, keep my energy pulled in to “my own space” …. I feel like a rock star!! When I feel this way, others notice and ask what I’m doing. Then I take the opportunity to share the goods!

    Love to you Kris!!

  314. Right on sister! This fad of finding our purpose has done one thing for so many…made us go out and buy books and spend money on countless bullshit self help crap. Its an industry fad that has us all(me included) pacing the hallways feeling unfullfilled and lost. Its the perfect hamster cage for those fortunate to have reached a place in life where we are self-actualizing. I absolutely agree that our purpose can be internal. Not to get all metaphysical on you..but if we believe that we are here in this lifetime to learn something…well then there you have it…our purpose is to learn….something. I know without a doubt my purpose is to learn how to deal with Type A personalities….to learn how to work with them in harmony….and not want to kill each and everyone that I meet. …wink wink..lol Great read sister!!

  315. It’s amazing to read an article that is so close to where I am in my life at the moment. Generally, when we think about finding our ‘purpose’, we think about finding what we were meant to ‘do’ – something somewhat tangible, measurable in terms of accomplishments and in terms of what those accomplishments can provide us (recognition, self-gratification, etc.). Our ‘purpose’ needs to be something deeper than that… something that’s more connected to our essence. If not, then the benefits that we derive from accomplishing our ‘purpose’ only serve the purpose (!) of soothing our anxieties. This is where my thoughts are heading.. and your article could not come at a better moment. I came for recipes (I’ve been following you on and off for a couple years), I leave with inspiration. Thanks!!!

  316. Just what I needed to hear today, thanks. Reminds me of the realization I had when I last wrestled with “what’s my purpose?” which was: to find peace of mind. Choosing inner peace allows me to offer healing to myself and, perhaps, to the world. But it’s so easy to forget…thanks for the reminder.
    Joy

  317. what words of wisdom… thank you so much. you said exactly what my
    soul knows is true but didn’t know it yet.

  318. Amazing and insightful! You made me reframe the way I look at myself. Keep up the fantastic work! You have inspired me to change the way I eat, and now the way I think about purpose.

  319. “to know and love yourself at the deepest level and to guide yourself back home when you lose your way” That line just made my heart stop…… It’s SO TRUE!

    Having had the wind COMPLETELY taken out of my sails, this has made me feel so much better. It all has to start with US! Everything else will radiate out from that point.

    This is my FAVOURITE post Kriss! THANK YOU.

    Happy, peaceful & abundant 2013. Jo xox

  320. Thank you thank you for reminding me how important it is to just look inside and find your true self before anything else.

  321. I love this post. Regarding suffering, what if suffering is the Universe’s way of teaching us to have compassion for others? What if it is our own suffering that teaches us to empathize with the struggles of others?

    If so, then suffering teaches the world to love one another, and once the world has learned this lesson, there will no longer be any need for suffering. If this is true, then seeking to end all suffering would be to rob the world of the gift of compassion that it teaches. Together, we can all ultimately transcend suffering, but perhaps, only through suffering, can we transcend suffering.

  322. Hi Kris,

    This is such a beautiful message that you have written and are sharing with us! Your message resonates with me on such a deep level. You give me hope for a different type of life! Sounds like the beginning of a new book. : ) xo Lorig

  323. (smiling)
    my favorite: “Folks are like plants, we all lean towards the light.”
    & for my ‘self’ right now> that means sitting up straight & standing tall. There is a light IN ME :) So happy to have found it again

  324. Thank you times a million! I have been chasing “my purpose” since I got out of college a few years ago. And I was starting to think that I was flawed. But this article changed my entire viewpoint. And the shift I feel when i start to put me first and allow everything else to flow is monumental! Your voice gives me courage to find my own :)

  325. I am going to school for psychology, and later psychiatry (ifits in the cards) i could relate so much to what you said about “It seemed pretty clear: My purpose was to help people get healthier and to teach prevention. Pretty rad. A karmic home run.” I always want to help others. but it isn’t until my 22 year of age i realize, i never put myself, first.

    i suffer from respiratory, immunological and allergies. i try to follow the lead of putting natural, or mostly natural foods into my body. i try to walk an hour a day to train my lungs and practice breathing through my nose which is really hard for me (i have a deviated septum) i cannot tolerate wheat nor dairy. i was upset with myself because i felt flawed. limited. but then i discovered happiness is accepting flaws and learning from it. your blog post empowered me to further love myself because i am the only person i have. i am me. i am my soul and i am my love. your blog post made me realize its okay if i wake up tomorrow and dont feel 100%, to keep meditating, breathing, forgiving others and showering them with pure love. i want to be a psychologist and help others but first i have to be ridicolously and fully in love and okay with myself in order to transcend. thank you Kris. happy 2013 sweet angel

  326. Thank you Kriss for writing on this topic. It’s been a while that i’m searching like MAD about my purpose in life. Iread alot of books, listened to guests of Oprah, met a professionnal reorientation coach to find THE job of my life that would define my self worth. All i found besides too much information is anxiety! But this morning, it,s different. Today is my birthday, i’m turning 44, and the first thing i did when i opened my laptop was to go to your blog. What a surprised! There was the nicest gift i could received from a stranger. It is more than an answer it’s a confirmation about my true purpose in my life. The way you wrote about it with the sweet gentleness made me cry. And yes i will finally exhale and be at peace because i understood the internal vs external true self. I can’t thank you enough dear dear Kriss. May Life bless you.

  327. This is total brilliance! Thank you for putting it into this fabulous string of words. I’ll be sharing this with everyone I know at every opportunity. This is all about a lesson I have been learning of late after years of searching vehemently for an outer purpose for all these years. I have only recently seen clearly that my true purpose is to be light and shine on everyone I meet. I have found such peace since that finally became clear to me. I so appreciate your affirmation and wonderful expression of this beautiful truth! Simply wonderful! Love to you!

  328. I feel like you just gave me a hug and then I gave myself a hug. <3 Thanks! Much Love!

  329. Thank you. That’s all.

  330. Great post! Thank you so much for sharing!

  331. Cool!

  332. You hit the nail on the head. Thanks for a great article!

  333. All I can say Is “Thank You” for writing that article. I know I’ve been searching i all the wrong places and now you confirmed it. Thank you my friend.

  334. Wonderful post! Fresh and amazingly inspiring! Grateful, grateful, grateful!
    Love,

    Ali.

  335. Kris Carr, you are one heck of a girl! This topic is timely for me and you hit the nail on the head. One of the things in life I believe is that we have many, many teachers. Some of mine have been very subtle others had had a blow horn. You have become one of mine. A treasured one with your honesty, wisdom and humour. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. xox

  336. Out of all the “self-help” articles, books, DVDs I’ve read/watched over the years none of them have ever resonated. I finally decided I was a self-help flop. Nothing ever applied to me. Your wisdom and your honesty has changed all that for me. You are real, funny (real funny) and you are frank. I feel lucky to have run across your doc a few years back. It started me on a path and gave me direction albeit wide and sometime barely visible (and I take some wrong turns) I read what you write and I keep going. I feel more steady. I am finally hearing some truth… and there’s certainly lots and lots of hope! (and juice) Thank you, thank you.

  337. “Your purpose has nothing to do with what you do. There, I said it. Your purpose is about discovering and nurturing who you truly are, to know and love yourself at the deepest level and to guide yourself back home when you lose your way,” perfectly said.
    I have read many articles etc on purpose and this connected with me deeply, more than any other article. It also gave me a sense of relief, that I don’t need to search from something external like the perfect career rather I just need to constantly work on myself. I can do that with pleasure!
    Sending LOVE

  338. I love this Kris! Thank you so much for taking the time to share this with us and for putting yourself out here. I’m going to share this with as many people as possible. Take care and have a happy, self- loving, light-shining 2013! :) Love, Rachel xxx

  339. i’m a little speechless at how these words reflect how i feel about how i want to spend my time in my life… this is the important stuff… self love seems to be at the core of many of my ‘perceived’ problems/blocks etc… and this piece states clearly why… thank you.

  340. I found your site last year after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was searching for ways to improve my health. I drink green smoothies now every morning for breakfast.

    I really like this article on finding our purpose. finally some honest feedback about searching our soul for kindness first, to our ourselves.

    Thanks for being an inspiration. cheers to 2013.

  341. Thanks for this! The concept of “finding my purpose” has always been a difficult one for me, because I interpreted it to mean something external, like a calling or economic niche. This makes so much more sense, and is more in line with how I’ve generally focused my efforts. Having this concept cleared up for me actually instantly released the guilt I feel about not “having a purpose”!

  342. Thank you. I’ve been asking myself “Why am I here?” a lot. Usually the answers my mind spits up have to do with getting a meaningful job, impacting people through action, or other such action-orientated imagery. Thanks for reminding me that peace and stillness must transform me into a worthy tool.

  343. This is such an important point – thanks for this perspective Kris!

  344. Kris, Thank you for sharing your insightful words. Your energy is amazing. I AM ADOPTING YOUR PHILOSOPHY.

    Peace and purpose to you,

    Craig

  345. so beautiful. just what i needed to be reminded of today. Thank you!

  346. Thank you so much Kris. I’ve been struggling with this for the last several months and I now feel as though a huge weight has been lifted from my heart.

  347. Kris, I know something speaks to me, when I read it with tears streaming down my face. Thank you. :)

  348. Yes. I’m keeping this one.

  349. Beautiful article! Truly enlightening! By the way, great website overall!

  350. You are so spot on! Thanks Kris!
    Greg

  351. Hi Kris,

    What a brilliant post and does soooo speak out of my heart. I have been looking for my purpose all my life as most people do and thought I needed to do some voluntary work to find it and give my life meaning. However, I never expected to find in the voluntary work what I actually found. I went to work for an NGO in Sub-Saharan Africa to help marginalized schools to acquire computers and learning how to enhance learning through the use of technology. Man, that is sooooo what I always wanted to do, I thought…this is it! So I embarked on this journey and was surprised that I did not find these inspiring people that I thought I would. I found a lot of messed up people, intelligent, but very messed up. I also learned that there is a lot of hypocracy involved in this NGO world. A lot of people seem to feel the need to tell the world what good human beings they are as they are helping these poor people but then they turn around and treat exactly these poor people like shit. I loved what I do as working with these locals was great and we had loads of fun but I had to leave this environment as I did not want to be hypocritic and I told the locals to get a job where they get paid and not used as cheap labour. I do not want to say that all of the organisations are like this and am sure there are organisations that really do make a difference and have inspiring people onboard but it is not the norm and I was very disappointed. I finally found myself inside and know now what to do. Exactly as you said: it is nothing outside but inside and am happy I found it.

    Thanks soooo much for this great post.

    Have a fun-tastic day

    Wencke

  352. Your article made me teary-eyed. This was the written equivalent of a warm hug after a tough day. Thank you.

  353. Thank you so much for this article. The timing is perfect for me. I love the notion of my purpose being to love myself. Purpose and calling (and the like) have been used interchangebly. Thank you for the clarity. I will be getting on the ball.

    By the way, I am just newly vegan…again! Years ago, my veganism was only about pure body. There was so much drama and misinformation attached to my life that I let it all go. Today it’s about pure body, pure love, pure compassion.

    Now, I have grand thoughts of veganizing my interests. Desires to compassionise my creativity (like making vegan t-shirts), wardobe styling interest, my filmmaking interests and the newest ‘jones’ Occupational Therapy (Assistant) are really strong. In short, I’m still confused about what to head as my higher ground (career) and end my tenure teaching in public school.

    Again thank you. Reading this article is the perfect start to my day and the rest of my life!

  354. Hi Kris,

    Great writing. I agree with what you write. It is just so hard not to be hard on yourself.

  355. WOW! very powerful and I so needed to read this right now. Thank you beautiful for being such a shining light in a sometimes cloudy world. BRAVO!

  356. I was just praying about this. What is my purpose in life? I was on the bus on my way to work talking to God and asking him to make it clear to me what it is that I am supposed to be doing…and my exact words were, what is my purpose? I am open, I am listening, let me know and I will do as you say.

    I come in to the office and decide to just look and see what I missed on your website and viola!

    My heart is open, I am taking it in. Thank you!

  357. Thank you for writing this! I know I am a month late reading it lol, but I just subscribed to your newsletter and have loved every thing I have read/seen. Your story is inspirtational but the fact that you are sharing your experience and love with the world and helping others is truly beautiful! This blog really spoke to my heart and what I have been seeking, specifically in the couple years after some dark times. I am printing this so I can read whenever I need to. God bless and thanks for being YOU!! :)

  358. Your words never fail to inspire me! Such a beautiful article. Thank you.

  359. Stumbled across this blog entry today, just when I needed it! I am on Day 2 (of 40 days) of Gabrielle Bernstein’s May Cause Miracles. Yesterday I identified my biggest fear as not finding my purpose in life to find how to help others or find the right career. Well today my focus was to be willing to see things differently. And then I found this blog entry. I too am a Stage 4 cancer survivor learning to live with my slow growing/stable prognosis. I am ready to focus on my healing and self-healing! Thanks for the sharing your journey and thoughts!

  360. I just found your web site, Kris. And I love it! Especially this one on finding your purpose.
    Thank you,
    Frances

  361. I just read your article on ‘purpose’. I couldn’t agree more. I have realized that in order for me to live out the truth of living and acting out the fact that my true purpose is connecting consciously with the spiritual idea that I am within, requires of me a focused commitment to step into the heart of the matter, which is letting go of so many believe systems that I have embraced and thought for so long to be who I am. I found the need to act with moral courage on many levels of what I call my life in order to stand firm and let everything else pass me by, taking a deep breath and refocusing every time on looking back at me sometimes as an spectator, to find out it was all a projection and ‘I’ the projector. I am learning to detach myself from what appears to be me,like taking off something you are wearing, to meet the real me under there. It all leads to an experience of ‘peace within’. I know discovering more and more of who I really am is an owesome experience that only ‘eternity’=’now’ will unfold. Thank you from the within my heart for your message…..

  362. WOW! What an amazing, inspiring and RIGHT ON! article! Thank you, thank you , thank you!

  363. This searching for my purpose in life has plagued me since I was 20. I have avoided so many opportunities for fear that it may not be my true calling. Now that I have cancer the question had been burning even deeper. I am going to try to replace the hurt, anger and resentment with love. Where to begin? Any thoughts?

    Thanks Kris, Peace to all

  364. WOW!! I do not think it just coincidence that I stumbled upon your website or that I chose to read this very blog today. I have been having this own internal dialogue with myself. I keep believing that the reason for me not feeling “complete” or happy is because I am not living my passion or purpose in my career. What you said in this blog… totally gave me an epiphany. A TRUE ah- ha moment. Thanks for speaking so candidly and for being so REAL. Sending you love, well wishes and warm thoughts.
    Forever grateful for putting yourself out there and letting me/us be a part of your life journey.
    Thank You-
    Stephanie :)

  365. I just came across this and I really felt like I could stop holding my breath. Thank you so much, you really do touch lives all over the world!Mairead, Northern Ireland

  366. That was very poetic and deep. It really is an important lesson for me. I struggle with the question of my purpose every now and then and then fall into a depressive state when I can’t find an answer I feel satisfied with.. Even with all my religious studies this question still haunts me at times. Kris you gave me the best answer. I am keeping this bookmarked so I return to it when ever I start to question my life. thanks.

  367. Dear Kris,

    thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    I have been struggling to love and taking care of myself lately. My self-worth was tied to my to-do list.
    Thanks for your loving, nurturing and gentle message. You are one of my heroines.

    -Iris

  368. The saying is, “Suffering is mandatory; misery is optional.” Blessings!

  369. this is a brilliant article. exactly what I have been longing to read about. thank you

  370. Ana said on April 4, 2013

    Oh WoW Kris…..I think you nailed sweetheart…..you literally unlocked the myth of finding your purpose.
    Keep the self love and self nurturing….it really make wonders to us all…I promise I will do the same on my end….’I love and approve of myself’ LOVE LOVE LOVE is it ALL ;-D

  371. I have had these thoughts myself and it’s helpful to hear someone else articulate this to it’s logical end. I am very grateful you took the time to share this post. Thank you!

  372. Beautiful <3 thank you – love you too XXX

  373. Love this!

    “And lastly …

    What if your purpose is to bear witness to your suffering? To acknowledge it and embrace it in order to move through it. “They” say that “suffering is optional.” I’m not so sure about that anymore. I used to think that was true. But that was before I had a deep and layered experience with suffering. Today, I think suffering is essential. The trick is to learn how to move out of suffering once you get the nugget and are ready to apply the lessons. Note: Residue of pain may remain (and that’s OK), but at some point you can fully release the suffering.”

  374. I wish someone had told me this earlier…then perhaps it would have spared me those 2-3 years of suffering from anxiety disorder.

  375. I disagree with this article. It’s certainly a grand idea, and if anyone follows it, I won’t stop, discourage, or even disagree with their decision. If someone believes that a their Purpose is an Inner Purpose – awesome! Good for them.

    But I don’t think this logic applies to everyone.

    I’ve made a point to be a decent guy. I’m respectful, honest, open, and empathetic. Or, at least, I try to be. But none of those are my Purpose. My Purpose inherently lies outside of myself, and it -is- a goal I am striving for. The reason it is outside of myself is that… well, I’m kind of a flake. I could, yes, work to overcome that character flaw, but I’m of the opinion that my life would be better spent, playing to my Strengths (namely: I’m eloquent, I love to tell stories,I love being philosophical, and I love being an ever-curious nerd). So I’ve accepted my Purpose, which is to be a Science Fiction Writer. Yes, this is going to be a rough ride, and it’s entirely possible that I won’t make it. It comes with the territory.

    Kris says: “Can you see how tying your worth to that circus will only make you feel depleted, depressed and even resentful? Anchor your purpose within, sweet friend. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself drifting out at sea again and again.”

    I’ve found the exact opposite to be true. I made a point to be a Good Guy long ago, and it gave me zero direction whatsoever. What do I do with something like that? Who do I help? Where do I make an impact? Am I here, simply to be a model for others, like a Statue of Liberty, a beacon that yells out “Look at me! I found Inner Peace, and now I’m awesome! You can be, too!” I find that to be ridiculously presumptuous. (It might work for Barney Stinson, but it wouldn’t for me.) And more to the point, I felt that I was adrift -until- I discovered my Purpose. As I live my life, I gather new experiences, which sometimes rock my world. Being in the military, serving in two wars, returning to civilian life, falling in love, falling -out- of love, changing cities and jobs… these Lemons that Life throws, won’t quit being launched at my head, simply because I’ve found Inner Peace. Having that serenity means I won’t mind it as much when one of them bonks me in the head.

    Which, certainly, isn’t something to scoff at. Maybe, in finding an Inner Purpose, I can be at peace with myself. And then, when the proverbial shit does hit the proverbial fan, I’ll be able to overcome that hurdle more quickly. That’s certainly a legitimate thought, and an admirable goal. Anyone who takes that approach (Buddhists, perhaps?) are people to admire. But it’s not for me.

    This Purpose (which is completely outside of me) has given direction to my life. I’m heading back to school in pursuit of this Purpose – I’m getting together the literary tools I’ll need to complete it – and I’m forming a Plan to put into action, once everything’s in place. This is no way feels like being ‘adrift’. It feels more like I’m on a mission.

    Once it’s done, then I can think about finding Inner Peace. I believe it’ll be easier for me to find it, honestly, because I’ll look back at this Life spent pursuing a Purpose, and I will have achieved it. I will have Accomplished it. And that, too, is nothing to scoff at.

    The best analogy I can make, to explain the thoughts in my head, is this: billions of people in the world enjoy getting outdoors; hundreds of millions enjoy climbing; millions set climbing goals for themselves, and work towards those goals; tens of thousands travel to other countries and broaden their horizons, in pursuit of those goals; thousands each year attempt to climb Everest; hundreds succeed.

    How many of these people know the names Tenzig Norgay and Sir Edmund Hilary?

    More to the point: how many of these people felt -inspired- by their accomplishment? Have felt moved to literally follow in their footsteps? Have found this Inner Peace Kris Carr talks about, only after summiting a mountain?

    I wouldn’t even presume to know the statistic – I believe my point can be made despite the lack of info.

    People throughout history have pursued Purposes. Sometimes, the Pursuit IS the Purpose. Amelia Earhart didn’t circumnavigate the globe, but I bet she felt that Inner Peace anytime she flew. Anytime someone said it was impossible, and she tried anyway. Anytime someone said women had no place behind the stick, and she proved them wrong.

    Jesus, I’ll bet, had Inner Peace – yet he sought to teach, to heal, to reform, all for a Purpose. Gandhi, I’ll bet, had Inner Peace – yet he committed his life to Indian Independence. MLK, I’ll bet, had Inner Peace – yet he spoke vehemently against the lack of Peace in the world, particularly in the South, and he devoted his life to a Purpose of ensuring that people “be judged by the content of their character, and not by the color of their skin.”

    Should these people -not- have pursued their Purpose?

    I’ll finish with this: please, just think about it. Mull it over. Give it a try, even. As Kris is suggesting, give an introspective journey a go, and see if it fits you. If it does, awesome! I’ll wish you the best for the rest of your days. But please don’t presume that, since I -am- tying my life to an external Purpose, that I am really a Mean Mess, a Bitter Mess, or a Sad Mess.

    I’m quite happy, just as I am, just a I do.

    • I wish there was a dislike button to Wood the Storyteller’s comments!

      • Mary,

        I would welcome any thoughts, comments, or even rebuttals/critiques you may have of what I’ve written!

        I think Kris and I have a common goal – to help others be Happy, be at Peace, and be Successful in life. My approach my differ from hers, but the end results we’re aiming for are similar. Or, perhaps, I’ve misread this article (or read it from a too-far-slanted perspective) and have missed some critical point. I’m not perfect; far from it! I err all the time in my haste to jot down my inner dialogue and clarify my own stances and opinions. In recognizing my own fallibility, I must always readily admit that I may actually be full of crap. :)

        Hopefully, that’s something I can work on! And hearing you thoughts (or the ideas of anyone else who disagrees with what I’ve written) can only help me grow as a person.

        So, that said… tell me what you’re thinking!!

        –Wood

  376. Thank you SO MUCH! This post ment a lot to me, I’m so grateful. Everything you said is just spot on. I want to elaborate, but it would just be repeating what you already wrote.

    Maria

  377. Phenomenal! Thanks for posting the link for this on facebook now. I have plenty of plaques on my wall, plenty of letters after my name, all because I wanted them, so I have been lucky that way, but after going through some extra “suffering” last year, and some extra books and videos, attending a great “I can do it Ignite” conference, and practice… I’m finally getting this message of self-love in my heart, not just in my head ;) And, what’s funny is that then, external results come easier, faster, and you don’t “suffer” as much because you’re not being as hard on yourself! :)

  378. wow, Kris… this what just what I needed to read this morning, how did you know???
    I ‘discovered’ you just a few short months a go and loved reading eveything you put out there (including cooking from your fab cookbook) but this is by far the article that spoke to me the most.

    Especially “Shall we talk about perfection? Yes, I think we must. What if your purpose is to teach yourself that there is no such thing as perfection and that your never ending pursuit of it is destroying your life and your relationships. Let it go.”

    I love how you and Brene Brown, another truly inspiring person, are singing in harmony to me.
    with Love,

    Galit from NYC

  379. Hey Kris
    A friend gave me your name yesterday. Then today she send me your blog, so refreshing I must say. I just released my first book called Can I Be Me without losing you? my whole life I was waiting for people to change so that I could become my authentic self until one day a voice said,”we are not doing this anymore”. When I asked, “what are we not doing anymore”? the voice said, “we are not saying yes when we mean no”. It was such a wake up call that I had in fact been doing that throughout the time I got into a relationship, then had kids. I had conformed to “keep the peace and avoid conflict” but it wasnt who I was. I had been conditioned to be this way. so great that you are saying our only job is to finally come to a place where we can love ourselves unconditionally. I see other people who seem more successful but are they? in what way to we judge success? the freedom to finally be me is what makes me so very happy and at peace now and I now realize I was born human to discover that Im a spiritual being having a human experience, that’s why we are here, to love. So thanks Kris.

  380. Thank you for this article. It is so real and a good reminder of our purpose. So many of us work in robotic jobs and take little time for rest and vacation to truly energize and connect to the light.. until its too late and our bodies cannot keep up. I recently read that Canada has the shortest amount of vacation time allotted for full time workers. In Russia average is a month off!
    In the fast paced society and the high cost of living we “forget” our purpose, to truly love ourselves first.
    I truly enjoy your work and your sharing your experiences with your C journey.
    I am a cancer survivor of five years and have recently found out its back again exactly five years this month.This time I remain positive and take gentle care of my body in what I think, eat and do.
    Namaste,
    Donna

  381. Kris,

    Your words, videos, cookbooks and articles touch me on so many levels. I have been sick with GI issues for nine years, for starters. I almost gave up this past year and then my prayers were answered…I learned about healing on a cellular level…something the M.D.’s never mentioned and in fact, advised me to avoid raw fruit and vegetables since they seemed to upset me! Ha! This is actually exactly what my body was begging for. While I still have issues, my health continues to get better and better. It’s been three and a half months nutritional healing and I know I am on my way! I finally feel like God is working in my life and leading me to health. Thank you for being a part of my journey, for being a part of me finding health. You are a constant inspiration!

    I wish you all the HEALTH and HAPPINESS you so deserve! Saying “Thank you” simply doesn’t seem like enough!

  382. Hey Kris,

    This article is so confirming for me. MY purpose is to bring enlightenment about our evolutionary journey through info I’ve been channeling for the past 10 years. And yes we are here to nurture and express our uniqueness. I feel you would be interested in my site especially the article in Resources entitle “Mother And Child Unite”. Enjoy and thank you for all your Crazy, Sexy everything. <3

  383. I just got chills from reading your post. I feel like I “know” these things but I still have not internalized them. I am still “mean” to myself all too often. “From loathing to love”… I love that, thank you.

  384. Hi Kris
    I’m not sure how I missed this in December but I guess we find what we need when we need it thanks for sharing at this depth. This thing called suffering seems to be my theme right now. Thank you for all you share I truly appreciate it..

  385. As a passionate writer and aspiring blogger with a crazy interest in all things health and wellness and self-help, you are an ABSOLUTE inspiration and I love your site and all that you stand for. You are fabulous. Get it girl. Hope to hear from you soon.

  386. Fay said on May 17, 2013

    Beautiful, Kris–thank you for such clear and compelling thoughts. I’m so glad this was forwarded to me!

  387. ange said on May 17, 2013

    Amazing!, so many things to chew slowly about this post. I don’t get some of them yet, hope do it trough the years. Thanks Kris ; )

  388. I’m not sure how this post found me today; but I’m so relieved it did. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  389. Hi Kris

    Great re-post! What a gift to give yourself and others. Interestingly enough, today I was asking myself –“What is my passion”? Am I living my passion or just showing up each day? Maybe it’s a little bit of both but I know for sure that I wish it was more passion. What do I do to get that? I’m not sure yet but its one of the things on my front burner of awareness.

    I too went through cancer treatment, at the first of the year. I did not fear it. Interestingly, I found myself somewhat detached from it. I was fortunate enough to have world class treatment and care. It has been almost two (2) months since I finished my treatment. I found myself looking at others with more awareness and with a renewed gratitude for what I have. I am on a journey, that has become a lifestyle change, to do what I can to have better health mentally and physically (through eating and exercise. I started this journey a year ago, this past January, and it’s been an evolution of through knowledge and action.

    I’ve enjoyed your site and the videos. Thank you!

    My gift for you today is this thought — maybe you’ve heard it maybe you haven’t but here it is: “Right NOW is the most abundant moment in your life!” ~ Unknown. Take that and live it like it’s true — because it is!

    In the meantime, Peace be with you and… please continue to enjoy your blessings

    Rob

  390. I like presents all year round and today your present was timely and oh so true. Thank YOU!!!

  391. Thank you! I really needed this today. Your words helped me calm down and remember what I absolutely believe to be true. You are a light in this world! xo

  392. Rose said on May 18, 2013

    Dear Kris,

    this is one of the most helpful, open, loving and expanding messages to be found online. thank you ever so much for sharing.

  393. dee said on May 18, 2013

    Thank you so much for this strong, inspiring and defining article. Your love and words have been powerful and encouraging to the core :D
    Thank you for the breath of fresh air and the light and the grace and the personal wisdom! ♥ ♥ ♥

  394. Reading this 5 months after it was posted after a dear friend in our yoga community posted it for all the women to read.

    Chris, you have written so beautifully and powerfully what I too (and I am sure all agree) is the meaning and purpose of life. To understand that we are light and when we connect with our light love, service, connection with others shines.
    THANK YOU always for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

  395. Kris, I really resonated with your beliefs about ‘our purpose’, as on my journey of healing from cancer I have found through meditation and channelling from my guides that our purpose is not external and our healing is not external. Inner self care, love, self acceptance and compassion is our biggest gift we can give to ourselves. Just by listening to our heart, honouring our feelings and accepting the truth of who we really are – good and bad is living our purpose.

  396. Thanks for this Kris! You were able to illustrate the essence of this idea. It’s so important for our purpose to be higher than what we do to make money. And the happy idea that you can be living your purpose no matter what the worldly situation is. -Anthea :)

  397. Oh I got goosebumps. Absolutely beautiful, thank you Kris. xx

  398. this is TRUTH!

  399. Well said and too true. Learning to accept the world around you and love everything you see, is a good challenge to embrace as well. Less fighting more loving. Even cancer can be loved.
    This is where I am at, trying to see everything as lovable and acceptable.

  400. Thank you for helping me to remember……….to reorient my compass……all of the stories about NDE (near death experiences) seem to convey that very message that just being is good enough

  401. This is helpful!

  402. I’ve struggled ( and still am) to find what I thought was a purpose. Your article really changed my mind and I’m sure will help me release part of my anxiety. Thanks so much.

  403. You are such a beautiful person Kris. Thank you for everything you do–I shudder to think what my life would look like if a brilliant friend hadn’t suggested Crazy Sexy Diet to me. I always include you in my morning meditation and blessings to those I am thankful for in my life.. I hope you can feel the energy!

    xoxox Taylor

  404. Thank you. This is perfect.

  405. Wow! This is such a smart and down-to-earth article. Thank you for a great post.

  406. Saw you on Super Soul Sunday this morning (missed last week so caught the 10 am) and loved
    your comments. Checked your blog to see more and saw this. WOW. For the past year I’ ve
    been focusing on understanding living instead of existing (for the 1st time) and am feeling SO lost in finding “my purpose”. Good lord, it seems everyone knows their purpose and I’m sitting here in a “crap, at 55 you should know your purpose” moment…..Thanks so much for highlighting that at this moment, my purpose is to find out who I really am instead of who my family, friends think I am and in doing that I can be more to all. AMAZING and LIBERATING!!!!!

  407. Kris,
    This little whisper in my ear came just as I was sitting down to write. I’m at work on a novel and there are some other things waiting in the queue. Just yesterday I was talking to a dear friend about suffering and bearing witness to mine in my work, fiction and non-fiction alike. It’s a long story, but as I write in a new medium after having only written screenplays, I am discovering that all of my life experiences, painful and joyful, and all of my longing and all of my deep desires for the world have connected me deeply to myself and to all of life, and that writing, for me, is about bearing witness to all of it, for my benefit and for the benefit of whomever else may be in need of what I have to say. I am realizing after many years of struggle that my work is about that connection most of all and not about what I do or do not get (I finally get that I will get what I am destined to get and that the pathway there is to honor the deep truth of every moment of my life). I read a great quote the other day, it may have been Anne Lamott, that said that if you tell the truth it will turn out to be universal. And so I am endeavoring to tell the truth, recognizing that my voice is just another expression of the one voice. Thank you for reminding me that the real work of all of our lives is to connect deeply with ourselves and live that truth in the world.

  408. Ms. Carr,
    I loved your article. I have just recently had my “Awakening” as I call it, Just this year. It is like the light was always on, but I am finally HOME.
    At 48 and I can honestly tell you that I have finally figured out that how you treat yourself as well as others causes a chain reaction of positives in all aspect of a one’s life .Through the power of intention, I am literally changing on a daily basis, It feels so good to be able to live in the NOW and kick the “Butt” of the past .lol..
    I am a writer and I have yet to publish any work. (YET lol…). I can truly say that I have found my purpose, My calling, if you will.
    I want to be able to inspire ,teach or simply tell a story about what I have learned throughout my life. Writing is so cathartic for me. if it touches someone else, well, that ‘s just a bonus!
    I have not had some SUPER DUPER junk happen to me .I just know that my heart has this overwhelming need to speak…. I realize that some people may never come to that “Awakening” point in their lives, I think that is just so sad.
    I truly feel so very lucky to be someone who has had that AhHa!. When you said how at times when you felt unappreciated or when your efforts were overlooked or criticized. Did you get the gig or not. That statement really resonated with me
    .It was those things that, in the past, put the KABOSH on me.
    I have just begun, I am so very excited to have been led to your website (by Louise L Hay), to be inspired and read your blogs going forward.
    I love my life and feel so empowered due to people like you, who have that natural ability to reach people in such a classy and eloquent way. Thank you!

  409. So funny that we have almost the same name. I love your work and am working on all of this as well. You are so brave! Thank you for reminding me that I’m on the right track. Christine

  410. I agree 1000% , our purpose has multiple meanings and once we pull back the layers, we find more meaning behind our purpose, which can be painful yet liberating. Getting to our truth is a job but happiness is supposed to be an inside job everything else is just passion sandwiched around the layers of purpose within. Cancer, illness, pain , is a wake up call to lovingYOU in ways you have ignored. Great post!

  411. kris so love your books and blog , it is so nice to read that we all struggle sometimes and leave our selves till last . first ever time replying on computer lol x x x x

  412. my word … i stumbled across this – the timing impeccable ! have just survived cancer treatment and I have been struggling so much with this one , have sought advice from those on a higher plain ….but your wisdom has totally blown them all away …you are truly the most honest the most in touch with the divine light within …thank you my dear angel Kris.

  413. Thank you so much for this insightful blog.
    I really enjoy reading your writing. I feel this hits right home with me and makes me view the coming months with a more positive perspective. I’m a student in college about to transfer in the fall and these are topics I have often struggled with in the past and often still do. You’re writing and thoughts defintely put a spring in my step and make me feel lighter about myself. Thank you for that. ;)

    I love you too. Xoxo :)

  414. I came to your sight to research juicers, blenders, and recipes. I saw this post from last year and decided to read it. As I read I remembered it from the previous year. However, your words have a deeper and stronger meaning for me this time around. AND perfect timing! I have taken on a second job recently, working 7 days a week, and enrolled in the health coach program with IIN. I am super excited about the program! However, what is suffering lately is “Andi Time”. Sure, I get a few chuckles when I mention that phrase to coworkers and friends, but it’s true! We need time for ourselves to take care of and nurture our souls and bodies! So as I have been moving forward in this exciting new direction of becoming a health coach, I have also become a ball of stress and definitely see just how important it is to take care of our bodies and spirituality. AND most importantly, not be to hard on oneself :) So, because I don’t want to over do it all at once, I have slowly started to bring back running and yoga into my weekly routine (people will tell you there isn’t time to work out, but if you prioritize for yourself, there is always time :))

    • @Andi

      What a great way to phrase it…prioritize yourself. Amen!

      May we ALL do that from now on; the world would be a better place. That and start simplifying and STOP allowing the media and experts allow us to feel like we need to want to be a better person (and feeling like you come up short compared to others.) How about learning to just like and accept who we are NOW…good, bad and ugly. The rest will fall into place. Trust me.

  415. Good post. Here is another good post our purpose by Tolle…

    http://www.eckharttolle.com/article/Awakening-Your-Spiritual-Lifes-Purpose

    Happy holidays all!

  416. Hi Kris,

    I read your article 24/12/2013. It was so interesting, as I had been thinking about all of this over the Christmas period…..I am a Mindfulness Meditation and Dance Teacher…..diagnosed with breast cancer in Sept., and nearly finished radiotherapy (thankfully did not have to have chemotherapy). I was fortunate to discover your book, I think it is the second one you wrote. It is just so positive, and it is how I am anyhow about almost everything….and it is the first positive book on cancer survival (or life after cancer etc) that I have come across! I live in Dublin, Ireland, and am just so fortunate to live right by the sea shore. Today, I walked along it as usual and met a women who also had breast cancer….and discovered it had come back this year having been through all the treatments etc. But, was she down about that? No. She was telling me she is off trekking through Thailand for 3 weeks beginning tomorrow, alone! She is 69, and looks years younger. When she comes back, I will send her your web site.

    But to get back to your article…..I had been feeling the old self esteem plunging over the holidays……nothing to do with cancer…..I have battled this feeling for many years. I look and sound confident on the outside, but those moments of doubt about my worth can creep up unnoticed. Your article really put this in perspective for me. I did feel that my ‘worth’ was very much attached to my ability to be a ‘good’ teacher. Strange that you should mention the word bitter (in relation to great activists etc.) but I had felt a touch of bitterness coming into my awareness also. Very, very unusual for me…….I don’t do bitterness, or so I thought. So, the article was very timely for me, and I simply thank you for it.

    All Good Wishes to you for 2014.

    Kind regards,

    Veronica Coughlan

  417. With tears of gratitude rolling down my face I thank you from the depths of my soul for this post. When something resonates that deeply for me, I know it’s a clear sign post on my path.
    Thank you

  418. Excellent post, While I was reading your post, I recalled a famous quote ” Life is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself”

    Nevertheless, enjoyed your written words.

  419. I love what you say about inner peace which I feel so many of us struggle with. I often work on inner peace with meditation, yoga and eating lots of alkaline. Writing a book on healthy eating habits from a personal struggle I had and with your inspiration this just might be the year I do it.

  420. Hi Kris,

    I just found your website and I love it. Thank you for sharing this great post on purpose. I think you bring up a really important point, your purpose in life is not just a list of outcomes. In other words, it’s not just “what you want.”

    The reality is that your purpose is a way of living. Your purpose embodies your priorities and your personal story. This means your purpose is closely tied to your identity. And everything in life is downstream of your identity.

    Intelligent people have the right definition of purpose and they put their purpose in life first (before money and even relationships). Think about it – if you put a job promotion, a product you want to sell, or a get-rich quick scheme first, you’ll either run out of steam before you succeed or succeed and get bored and throw it all away.

    And if you put building your network first, you’ll fail because your identity or personal brand will be empty (or fickle) and people won’t know how to rally around it. They won’t know who you are and what you stand for.

    But, if you put your purpose first, you’ll be able to build strong relationships and build a strong career around it.

  421. <3 Thank you Kris! … thank you for letting me know what your soul speaks! sending you love from Portugal.

  422. Thank you so much for the amazing words shared above. I struggle constantly with the ideas behind “finding your true purpose”, and the pressures so closely associated with it. If only for me, these beautiful, inspiring, and gentle words provide a safe place to land, and offer the ideal that the only thing that matters is love. Namaste, Clea.

  423. Love your thoughts, just found you and reposted your blog on my own. very very beginning blog :) Thanks for your thoughts and your insights

  424. This is exactly resonating with what I was feeling these days. (Probably the reason why I opened the post!)

    I am so happy (and was so relieved) that I discovered my “purpose” or WTF I should do with my life: personal coaching.
    I felt like everything aligned.
    But the more I go into it, the more I realise that won’t (and shouldn’t) define me 100% because I am still a lot of other things, a lot I should always try to discover everyday too.
    I realise, even if coaching is my calling, this will be a great way for me to help people and bring meaningful contribution but this is still a job, so only part of me and my life.

    I actually came out with the same conclusion few days ago in one of my posts: that the final purpose of each of us is to know ourselves!!
    this is the only way to belong to the world and have real connections: EXIST!

    Thank you for this post.

  425. I had the honour of reading your idea on purpose only now and I think I agree with you wholeheartedly. I am on a mission to fulfil my purpose but it seems every endeavour I try externally fails completely. I live in an environment where loving yourself is not encouraged and I seem to align myself with these kind of people but I know they in my life for a reason. I cannot seem to make a success of my life even though I am driven but I think I am barking up the wrong tree as well. The way my suffering speaks to me is to reach a sense of detachment through loss and disappointments. I have suffered much pain and trauma in my life but I believe it to be the catalyst for transcendence. No one in my immediate environment knows about self development so I am alone and subjected to ridicule and being misunderstood. It is very hard sometimes to not be able to explain yourself to others and have them understand your world

  426. THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart.

    This has resonated within me at the deepest level and shaken me up at the core.

    I pray that I will not forget this ever again and that this message will reach and heal many others.

    Blessings to you Kris, and to all of your readers.

  427. This is one of the very best Life Purpose articles I’ve read! Very refreshing and really takes the ‘pressure’ off! Wise words Kris! Thanks heaps :)

  428. Love this…what an eye opener, new perspective, allowing me to accept and love myself. Thank you so much for this article.

  429. I need to ask a question………..
    Is it possible for Self IMAGINATION or DAY DREAMING to be a Purpose?
    Since I was little I have always been having this creative mind of picturing myself in someone else’s position or shoes (stars) and I would do it better than it was done originally by that person.
    Please revert asap

  430. Hi!

    This article had bring me so much peace. I Love it, for real. Thanks a lot from my heart to yours. Hugs and kisses. I would like to meet you :D

    Love from Dominican Republic.

  431. Thank you so much for posting this! Very different from how you typically hear people elaborate on finding their purpose…how it becomes about what your job or hobby is, or how it affects other people. I like the idea of taking it internally. I would love to see how you would elaborate on each of your bullet points…maybe little “how-to’s” for achieving each.

  432. I can’t put into words how amazing it is that I found this post at this time in my life. I’ve been following your work since I heard you speak at a recent Hay House conference (in NYC). I had the very fortunate experience of spending a few moments with you as you signed your two books for me. I’m working on getting my certification as a professional life coach and have been feeling at a very deep level that how I can best serve (as a Life Purpose Coach) has so much more to do with helping people discover who they truly are, their Authentic Selves, spiritual beings, worthy and lovable, rather than help them figure out what they think they should be “doing” (externally). I was having some self-doubts about this direction, but your post has renewed my faith and trust in my inner guidance. Thank you very, very much Kris!

  433. Excellent, simply excellent!

    I’ve been grappling with this question most of my life, feeling there’s got to be more, something higher or deeper than the surface existance I feel trapped in, powerless to change.

    Recently I came to understand where those feelings of being powerless and trapped have come from, and what a fiction they really are. Now it’s time to cast off that false “matrix” and learn just as Neo did the real power is within.

    It’s not about an artificial “pep ralley” or alternate fiction of “positive attitude” to overcome the lies I was taught (about who I was) in my formative years, rather it’s about acknowledging the role that played in who I am and then conciously taking steps to go in a new direction.

    My journey towards self knowledge is a lifelong process, with periods of rapid change intertwined with others of little movement. But the process continues, and I’m very happy to say your words here have helped me to see this question in a better light, a more constructive perspective.

    I sincerely thank you!

  434. I’m a little late to the party but this came right on time for me! Thank you so much for all you do. You are such a bright light! I get this, I do. And then I forget. So I’ll be back :-)

  435. l love you! I miss you!!!! xxx

  436. Thanks Kris, I like the way you put things. Rod

  437. thank you for your wonderful post. I have been struggling with my purpose being defined externally and getting caught up with how I am perceived the good and the non-plussed. I am off for a walk to rediscover the inner joy. love Brigette

  438. I happened upon this article of yours just today and it made me cry… you have really ‘zoned in’.

    I realized that I have been pinning my purpose on external things all my life… depending on them to ‘make me happy’… and being unhappy no matter how ‘hard I tried’.

    Wow, this is a new viewpoint… one I might have heard from other great teachers… but it was you saying it that has made a difference… it resonated!! :)

    Thank you! Louella :)

  439. Exactly what I needed to hear at the exact right time. (Which is almost 2 years late, isn’t that beautiful?)
    May we see our beauty, may we know we are already loved.
    Thank you.

  440. This is a post I needed to read. I struggle with many of the topics that you stated when it comes to finding my purpose. I’ve been on this journey for some time now and as I sit here that age of 30 I realize now that its about ME… not what I do or how people may want things to appear… its about living out a life that resonates with me. Thank you for your thoughts, expression, and words.

    Be Blessed,
    Shannon

  441. Absolutaly amazing words! I feel that you, Kris, have gone through this experience and I appreciate you for your authenticity and honesty!

  442. This is beautiful and so timely for me. I get it, yet I know I don’t fully get it. How do you come to love yourself, forgive yourself, and release yourself from unworthiness? I know this is the key but it just seems to elude me.

  443. Thank you, Kris. Your words are the light at this moment … very timely.

  444. I struggle with this on a daily basis. Thank you for shedding light on this subject. By doing so, it helps to see where my thinking has become twisted. I am so hard on myself, comparing myself to others…friends and complete strangers, and it has to stop. I am going to print out this blog post and read it over and over again until I can “feel it.” Right now, logically, intellectually speaking, I understand and agree with everything you’ve written. Embracing and integrating it into my life will take some time. Peace and enjoy the holidays!

  445. I love this! I think we all need to love ourselves and feel worthy. It seems to be so universal. If we all loved ourselves, we would be able to love each other and all beings and live in beauty. Thanks so much Kris!! : )

  446. Wow, absolutely loved that! Thank you! A perfect way to start teaching my girls and one I will try and reflect on more often. Wishing you a wonderful new year!

  447. Thank you Kris! Beautiful and perfectly timed. xo kt

  448. Every single word you said spoke to me. But HOW do I get there??? Can you recommend any practical sources (other than a therapist) for guidance? PS. You. Are. Amazing. <3

  449. Kris this blog struck a deep cord within me, Thank you, thank you, thank you:) For your honesty and sharing your insights, it was just what I needed at just the right time, the universe is truly amazing! Much love and Christmas blessings, Sharon xxx

  450. Wow. This hit me so deep I teared up. Thank You!!

  451. Thank you for this article. It validated what I’ve come to realize in recent months. I’ve felt like a loser all of my life not having found my purpose or my passion, wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn’t figure it out. The negative part of me had been growing stronger, and all my struggling and fighting against it added to its strength. Then I was drawn to spiritual readings about kindness and gentleness to oneself, becoming one’s own friend, and accepting EVERY part of ourselves. I could never hope to treat others respectfully if I couldn’t do that to myself. So this is what I am to do. It is extremely hard after so many years of beating myself up, but I believe it is the only way for me to feel truly alive. Thank you again.

  452. so.very.timely. Thank you :-)

  453. Amazing, thank you!

  454. I have struggled most of my young adult life trying to figure out “my purpose.” I have read articles, taken quizzes and tests, interviewed friends and family members, read books and articles, and even attended not one but two separate I CAN DO IT Hay House conferences (and other motivational conferences) where I have heard you and many others speak. I have done all of this hoping that a spark of inspiration would help me discover this illusive thing called “my purpose.” It wasn’t until I read this specific blog that I finally got it. I understand now. It’s not about a job title, or specific passion. My concrete way of thinking made me feel like I had to narrow it down and call it SOMETHING. Make it a verb, a noun, a THING I DO. But it’s a myth. I think society has tried to make this intangible concept into something tangible- which is impossible. As a result, so many struggle with trying to “achieve” this internal way-of-being through external means. But today I think you have said something that will resonate with many people. You have put into words what we couldn’t even seem to figure out. I wish I could write you an email to thank you (but couldn’t figure out how to contact you). So if you are reading this I just want to say thank you for sharing this. It has brought me (and I am sure so many others) peace. This message has helped ease the pressure of today’s standard way of thinking and provided us with an alternative– a much more positive, healthy, loving, and (very personal) alternative. :) XO

  455. Thank you thank you thank you Kris! This was EXACTLY what I have needed to hear! For a while I have been stressing over what I was meant to be doing, yet had a deep instinct that my life purpose was not so much around what I would be doing, but how I would be FEELING, HEALING and EVOLVING. So you have reaffirmed that for me. Thank you!